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W
My evil,
this is a side of me I tried to hide
but the love of the good hearts of
this world have brought out the
worst from me.
why am I so afraid to admit it because then
you would see how cruel and ugly I really am.
i enjoy beautiful suffering
the cries of the innocent baby so sweet
to see them suffer and say they need me
its a hunger more stronger than anything
your suffering
I didn't want you to see the real me
you just had no more feeling
you have grown dead and cold to me
...I have to make you feel.
oh god, I killed beauty
i destroyed love
now he no longer loves me
I need him to feel something
I don't deserve to be loved
I destroy beauty
i need you to love me
Why have you gone cold to me
i bled away all the love for me
i have to do something
to make you feel...
this is a side of me I tried to hide
but the love of the good hearts of
this world have brought out the
worst from me.
why am I so afraid to admit it because then
you would see how cruel and ugly I really am.
i enjoy beautiful suffering
the cries of the innocent baby so sweet
to see them suffer and say they need me
its a hunger more stronger than anything
your suffering
I didn't want you to see the real me
you just had no more feeling
you have grown dead and cold to me
...I have to make you feel.
oh god, I killed beauty
i destroyed love
now he no longer loves me
I need him to feel something
I don't deserve to be loved
I destroy beauty
i need you to love me
Why have you gone cold to me
i bled away all the love for me
i have to do something
to make you feel...
W
I feel nothing
by: Lowanla (me)
I feel nothing, I heard him say...
If you are dead to me
how can you say
you love me
when you can't
feel sympathy
for your love
you re-enacted fallen
memories, just so you could
blame me for everything
you hated me for your own choices.
i didn't force you to do anything
you didn't die for me..
I feel nothing, I heard him say
words sting like death that killed me
for causing you sorrow and loss
I'll take the blame for that
but it is your fault you are so dead
with no feelings
did you not think I would see through
your plans, revenge so sweet
i would soon pay for your pain
so you hate me...
if it will make you feel again
then continue to blame me
For everything ....
by: Lowanla (me)
I feel nothing, I heard him say...
If you are dead to me
how can you say
you love me
when you can't
feel sympathy
for your love
you re-enacted fallen
memories, just so you could
blame me for everything
you hated me for your own choices.
i didn't force you to do anything
you didn't die for me..
I feel nothing, I heard him say
words sting like death that killed me
for causing you sorrow and loss
I'll take the blame for that
but it is your fault you are so dead
with no feelings
did you not think I would see through
your plans, revenge so sweet
i would soon pay for your pain
so you hate me...
if it will make you feel again
then continue to blame me
For everything ....
W
How I feel when old men come near me
How I feel when a man or woman hug me
Disgust grimacing my face
fear paralyzes me
i stop living...
Perverts! Cretans! Lowlifes!
don't touch me!
don't hurt me!
Stop looking at me
with wicked thoughts!
like I am trash!
Like a harlot to use
and throw away
with wicked hearts
with no respect for me
Where I have no dignity
No integrity
Don't Look at me!!
stop looking at me!!
How I feel when a man or woman hug me
Disgust grimacing my face
fear paralyzes me
i stop living...
Perverts! Cretans! Lowlifes!
don't touch me!
don't hurt me!
Stop looking at me
with wicked thoughts!
like I am trash!
Like a harlot to use
and throw away
with wicked hearts
with no respect for me
Where I have no dignity
No integrity
Don't Look at me!!
stop looking at me!!
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W
Well...no, I do hug people I trust, and feel very comfortable around. It's just those types of people that rub your arms, or stand close, and you get that icky feeling like. Eeeeek, stay back!! You want to run but they are just there.
I had that experience today, when this old man sat exactly behind me, I'm so weird, It felt like I was sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. That close! I felt so scared...Of course there was nothing wrong with the man...it was just me. It
must be some sort of phobia or terror I have.
I try not to be like this, but It is a fear I have. I try to be as social as possible, but sometimes when people start to get closer I get scared and I start to draw away from them.... *unless they are persistent in getting to know me..then they
become exception, and I no longer have fear of them.* (coughs)
what I wrote is sort of what goes through my mind at that time and place. Sorry if I sound like a creep.
I had that experience today, when this old man sat exactly behind me, I'm so weird, It felt like I was sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. That close! I felt so scared...Of course there was nothing wrong with the man...it was just me. It
must be some sort of phobia or terror I have.
I try not to be like this, but It is a fear I have. I try to be as social as possible, but sometimes when people start to get closer I get scared and I start to draw away from them.... *unless they are persistent in getting to know me..then they
become exception, and I no longer have fear of them.* (coughs)
what I wrote is sort of what goes through my mind at that time and place. Sorry if I sound like a creep.
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W
My guy,
with all that I write,
I know it looks like
I am the only one
chasing you, but in fact
that is not true...
You have done so much for me,
about me, that things you do
are unseen so they can't be
appreciated,
and I really honestly don't know
for how long, you've been
doing all this for me... but I know it
has been for a very long time..
I guess I am trying to show how
much I appreciate all the love
and consideration you show me,
when you don't really have to..
its not that you 'earned' my heart,
it is because you love me through my faults,
I never had a boyfriend, because of how
scared I am of people...
You just stuck by me, and loved me as best you could.
I love you back.
...maybe you are predicting what will probably happen,
but..I don't want it to happen that way, if it doesn't have to.
I don't like set futures that fail, I like a little surprise,
even if it is done afraid...it gives more meaning to life..
I love you,
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W
Where my Treasure Lies
by: Lowanla (me)
Life means nothing to me
if you will not be there.
I am frozen to death,
it is my worst fear
why should I have reason
why should I care
Why should I breath,
if you will not be there..
In fact I will not move
for anyone
unless it is you
you, who is tearing my heart
in two.
I feel for you, I feel you,
that is how I feel,
If you are not there,
I am not there.
Your heart is where
my treasure lies.
If it is not where I am
then I am dying,
burn me and cast me away
into the fire!
cause I can't go on lying,
my treasure is where
my heart is,
You.
my sweetheart, my love,
and my darling.
by: Lowanla (me)
Life means nothing to me
if you will not be there.
I am frozen to death,
it is my worst fear
why should I have reason
why should I care
Why should I breath,
if you will not be there..
In fact I will not move
for anyone
unless it is you
you, who is tearing my heart
in two.
I feel for you, I feel you,
that is how I feel,
If you are not there,
I am not there.
Your heart is where
my treasure lies.
If it is not where I am
then I am dying,
burn me and cast me away
into the fire!
cause I can't go on lying,
my treasure is where
my heart is,
You.
my sweetheart, my love,
and my darling.
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W
I am No One Special
by: Lowanla (me)
I am not a Christian,
I am not a Satanist,
I am not a Lakota,
I am not an Atheist,
I am not a Princess,
I am not a goddess,
I am not a genius,
I am not perfection,
I am neither spotless,
I am no one special...
I am my actions,
I am how I treat you,
I am how I make you feel
I am how, you see you,
You are the sigh I see,
You are the mirror
the one who feels crushed
by comparison,
the one made to feel inferior..
I feel so ashamed of me,
for making the one person I love
feel like nothing...
You are someone special,
All I want is you,
not what you can do for me,
but that you are there for me,
because you love me,
You are someone so special,
you are my guy,
I can't stop loving you...
by: Lowanla (me)
I am not a Christian,
I am not a Satanist,
I am not a Lakota,
I am not an Atheist,
I am not a Princess,
I am not a goddess,
I am not a genius,
I am not perfection,
I am neither spotless,
I am no one special...
I am my actions,
I am how I treat you,
I am how I make you feel
I am how, you see you,
You are the sigh I see,
You are the mirror
the one who feels crushed
by comparison,
the one made to feel inferior..
I feel so ashamed of me,
for making the one person I love
feel like nothing...
You are someone special,
All I want is you,
not what you can do for me,
but that you are there for me,
because you love me,
You are someone so special,
you are my guy,
I can't stop loving you...
W
this puzzle is pretty intense, just doing some research on it..
based off of sacred geometry,
Male - Left counter clockwise, 60 - 20 -40
Female - Right Clockwise, 4 - 31 - 51
Extra numbers - 1 - 25 - 49
..I am still stuck on where to begin on finding the right 3 numbers.
hum, hum hum...are we trying to activate something, within a certain time limit...?
very clever.
lovesonnet4u
based off of sacred geometry,
Male - Left counter clockwise, 60 - 20 -40
Female - Right Clockwise, 4 - 31 - 51
Extra numbers - 1 - 25 - 49
..I am still stuck on where to begin on finding the right 3 numbers.
hum, hum hum...are we trying to activate something, within a certain time limit...?
very clever.
lovesonnet4u
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