To selfie or not to selfie

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,182
1,272
113
29
Arizona
#1
I know this is one of those things where moderation is key, but I also wanna get your opinion.

So I was scrolling in my Instagram and saw a selfie from an old coworker. Tank top, angle so you see all the cleavage, and I found myself cringing pretty hard. But I had to think about it: do we do the same? Do we Christian ladies practice modesty? Try to not be so self focused? Or would no one be able to tell how we present ourselves to the rest of the world? Do we use ourselves as eye candy to get attention? Guys that goes for you too and your shirtless muscle pics.

Are you setting yourself apart?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,058
6,604
113
#2
Hey Artsie,

I am almost 55, so for me modesty makes more and more sense, lol. I admit that I do prefer wearing clothes that flatter, are age appropriate(whatever that means) but also modest. I do wear a bit of makeup, not much, and to be honest that choice is because aging skin seems to do better with the less is more thing.

I think we, as women, are called to focus on inner beauty, rather than the external which can be challenging in a world that is all about external validation. It can be even more challenging to age in this exterior focused world. Bless my aging heart, hahaha.

Anyhoooo,

Dressing cute (love my overalls, lol) and or classy is perfectly fine, in my opinion. However, seeking to entice the male population can be dangerous, not to mention disrespectful to women who are wives, and men who are trying to honor God with their eyes. However with regards to being too judgemental about those who dress provocatively, I try not to be a hypocrite. There was a time in my younger, hyper heathen days, lol, that I did my fair share of enticing. Bows head in shame.

He has been so patient with me and my foolishness.

His word, His Spirit, and age has a way of setting us straight, lol.

It is good that we set ourselves apart, for sure Artsie.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,922
1,575
113
#3
I think the use of "we" is a bit off as it suggests a mass mindset, rather than an individualistic viewpoint.
Some Christian women absolutely use their body for attention. Others go out of their way to avoid it. So the question is actually do "you" (not we) do this.
And those guilty will deny it and even put the blame elsewhere as if their actions hold no responsibility. I know this because the numerous threads over the years on modesty. And anytime a woman said she dressed how she wanted, revealing, that was the excuse. "I should be able to dress however I want, its men's responsibility to control themselves".

So you'll see Christian women do both.
It seems a less common issue among Christian men. In general the men tend to be more modest. But those that post shirtless pics, etc... often tend to exhibit a higher sense of self importance and focus on the physical, both there's and on women's appearance.

I think the issue with Christian women being more revealing is more commonly a lack of consideration of what they're doing. Women today dress quite revealing, so I think its simply easier to fall into that without realizing. It's still common that men dress less revealing, on average.

It makes me think of this video I saw yesterday. This dad dressed in booty shorts and went into his teen daughters room. She rolled her eyes, everyone laughed but she told him they were too short. So he had her put her shorts on and pointed out they were shorter than his. Yet her shorts were common for what teens today wear.

Ironically if you look at how people in the 80s dressed, short shorts were the norm. Both men and women. And no one thought twice about it haha.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
3,095
945
113
#4
Hmmm. I've noticed one thing. Judgments may depend a lot on the build of the woman itself. A woman that is more "thicc" can't exactly hide her curves in her pocket, and a skinny woman will be able to pull off various outfits more freely and get away with it, because she isn't as shapely. I would just be cautious of judging women for being more shapely. As long as they don't show too much skin and don't wear very tight clothes, I don't believe they are to be faulted for the body God gave them or expected to wear a sack to hide it. There are ways to dress in a flattering way, and not look cheap and on display. I like high waist flowing kimono or pleated pants, per example - they emphasize waist beautifully, yet are flowing and aren't exposing.

For me it's a question of peace. I wear clothes where I don't have much skin exposed to feel self conscious about my body and what is showing, or trying to protect my clothes from getting messed up, or having to constantly pull clothes up or down as I go about my day. I used to do that when I didn't know better as an unbeliever, but now I know it's not worth my peace. Any woman wearing short skirts keeps pulling it down every few minutes - things like that make you lose peace with yourself, it's a mental burden that actually ruins the occasion you dressed up for. I usually wear leggings/cargo pants and short sleeve shirt or tunic or hoodie. Is this modest enough for all Christians, probably not, there is a wide range of convictions. And I don't hang out around much, so to be honest don't even know what kids wear nowadays... as for the elder generations, I'd say women probably are relatively modest in general.

I don't think it's necessarily immodest if someone wears make up. It comes down to the heart - is there bondage? - and measure. God wants us to feel good in our skin, and when someone has the need to make themselves a whole new face every day in order to find themselves acceptable, they are falling to the lies of the devil that they are ugly. So a lot of the time, make up addiction comes not from desire to seduce but from feelings of inadequacy. It is actually a big problem in our age, where physical perfection is constantly touted to women, "what is your excuse", millions of beauty products, and whatnot. So I agree with what Charli said that there's a big focus on the external and general lack of modesty when it comes to make up.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
17,318
3,880
113
#5
I think the use of "we" is a bit off as it suggests a mass mindset, rather than an individualistic viewpoint.
Some Christian women absolutely use their body for attention. Others go out of their way to avoid it. So the question is actually do "you" (not we) do this.
And those guilty will deny it and even put the blame elsewhere as if their actions hold no responsibility. I know this because the numerous threads over the years on modesty. And anytime a woman said she dressed how she wanted, revealing, that was the excuse. "I should be able to dress however I want, its men's responsibility to control themselves".

So you'll see Christian women do both.
It seems a less common issue among Christian men. In general the men tend to be more modest. But those that post shirtless pics, etc... often tend to exhibit a higher sense of self importance and focus on the physical, both there's and on women's appearance.

I think the issue with Christian women being more revealing is more commonly a lack of consideration of what they're doing. Women today dress quite revealing, so I think its simply easier to fall into that without realizing. It's still common that men dress less revealing, on average.

It makes me think of this video I saw yesterday. This dad dressed in booty shorts and went into his teen daughters room. She rolled her eyes, everyone laughed but she told him they were too short. So he had her put her shorts on and pointed out they were shorter than his. Yet her shorts were common for what teens today wear.

Ironically if you look at how people in the 80s dressed, short shorts were the norm. Both men and women. And no one thought twice about it haha.
Regretfully there is not approval avatar for "very wise," for this post is just that.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,527
1,419
113
#7
I know this is one of those things where moderation is key, but I also wanna get your opinion.

So I was scrolling in my Instagram and saw a selfie from an old coworker. Tank top, angle so you see all the cleavage, and I found myself cringing pretty hard. But I had to think about it: do we do the same? Do we Christian ladies practice modesty? Try to not be so self focused? Or would no one be able to tell how we present ourselves to the rest of the world? Do we use ourselves as eye candy to get attention? Guys that goes for you too and your shirtless muscle pics.

Are you setting yourself apart?
Honestly I do not like taking selfies. It feels odd and standing around posing for the camera feels silly. Unfortunately my work life often requires them to get hired. I do background work for TV and movies, at least I did before Covid-19, and when casting would look for people there is a site where we post pics. They are shopping for certain looks and they want to know that you currently look like your posted photos. If they are considering me I will get a call from my agency and they will say they want a same day selfie of my face and one that is full length. Also if I do not routine post new photos, the old ones will be considered out of date, and i won't get hired. I understand. They don't want to book someone with shoulder length blonde hair and get someone with a red pixie cut. They also want to make sure that the photos had not been touched up. They want to know exactly what they are getting.
Thankfully I am usually cast as a nurse/teacher/restaurant patron lol.
The selfie is a job requirement but aside from that, if I am getting together with good friends for a special occasion I'll ask someone to take a photo, or if I have traveled somewhere special, but there has to be a reason, something to commemorate. Otherwise I think it can become a vanity trap.
Like most things, it is the attitude of the heart that matters. A humble heart is a good thing. :)
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,980
993
113
Philippines Age 40
#8
Honestly I do not like taking selfies. It feels odd and standing around posing for the camera feels silly. Unfortunately my work life often requires them to get hired. I do background work for TV and movies, at least I did before Covid-19, and when casting would look for people there is a site where we post pics. They are shopping for certain looks and they want to know that you currently look like your posted photos. If they are considering me I will get a call from my agency and they will say they want a same day selfie of my face and one that is full length. Also if I do not routine post new photos, the old ones will be considered out of date, and i won't get hired. I understand. They don't want to book someone with shoulder length blonde hair and get someone with a red pixie cut. They also want to make sure that the photos had not been touched up. They want to know exactly what they are getting.
Thankfully I am usually cast as a nurse/teacher/restaurant patron lol.
The selfie is a job requirement but aside from that, if I am getting together with good friends for a special occasion I'll ask someone to take a photo, or if I have traveled somewhere special, but there has to be a reason, something to commemorate. Otherwise I think it can become a vanity trap.
Like most things, it is the attitude of the heart that matters. A humble heart is a good thing. :)


Wow...I saw your pic before and indeed, you look pretty, like someone who would appear on film or tv.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
3,513
432
83
#9
The only selfies I approve of are video chats with my grandchildren and great grandchildren.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,527
1,419
113
#10
Wow...I saw your pic before and indeed, you look pretty, like someone who would appear on film or tv.
You are sweet. When it comes to background you just need a basic look. The only acting roles have been as teachers and I was even an aging low brow trophy wife in a German movie of the week. Now that was fun.
Background is like this. This is a shot from The Good Doctor. I am right in the back, second from the left. In the episode there might be a two glimpse of my face and a few of my ponytail bouncing around but you have to be scanning for it, lol. It is just a good job when you need a flexible work schedule. There are no promised work days but there is a lot of variety. One minute you are fleeing a zombie apocalypse and the next you are a judge at a gingerbread house contest. No glamour and you are constantly judged on your appearance but where else can you work where they want someone who looks like they are a small town hick or tired soccer mom? Oh yeah
IMG_0077.jpeg
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,187
827
113
#12
As for men...I stress about appearing modest. For me that only applies to not wearing sweatpants/pajamas in public (unless I'm going through the drive-thru) also bearing in mind how my jeans fit...and swimsuits.

Other than that, I don't pay much heed to it. For a female I don't want to go with a cliche phrase but women who dress modestly are quite a bit more attractive than those who don't on a deeper level.



I don't take selfies though. I used to be about profile pics, but they would be me doing something crazy for the sake of it.

This was 9 years ago and I have facial hair and longer hair now...but I did get wrapped up in it at one point. Thankfully I was passed it when it became something of a craze.


prof.jpg
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
7,232
2,636
113
#13
I have never taken a selfie.
I have done a self portrait where I looked in the mirror, then drew what I saw. But it ended up with me looking backwards. It was meant to be for school we were doing them for art. Otherwise no. I let other people take pictures of me cos Im useless at taking them of myself.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
2,880
2,127
113
#14
I have only taken a selfie a couple of times because I have had to. I managed to mostly chop my head off in them. I don't really see the point to them and instagram, aghhh I can't think of anything more boring.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,058
6,604
113
#15
Just saying...
I like when others have their pics up here, selfies or not. I appreciate the faces, to put with the thoughts expressed..... I like getting to know peeps, their personalities, their smiles and their frowns. We all have them.