'WHAT'S THE HARDEST/MOST CHALLENGING THING' that you have had to 'OVER-COME',
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The death of my grandpa....there are other things but nothing I feel like I've actually overcome.
In the 4 years since he died I've finally gotten to a point where the sting of missing him and thinking "Man, I wish pops were here" hurts less and the memories make up for it. He was much more of a dad than a grandfather to me....I don't think the wishing he were still here will ever go away but I'm over pretending like it doesn't matter and I don't have feelings
In the 4 years since he died I've finally gotten to a point where the sting of missing him and thinking "Man, I wish pops were here" hurts less and the memories make up for it. He was much more of a dad than a grandfather to me....I don't think the wishing he were still here will ever go away but I'm over pretending like it doesn't matter and I don't have feelings
I owned a fairly successful little start-up business many years ago with two partners. Then my wife got sick with a terminal illness. At first my partners were very accommodating. We moved our office space from where it had been near my home, to 20 miles away (city driving) to near their homes. And I began working from home caring for my wife, and only going in to the office a couple times per month. About a year and a half later my partners contracted for health insurance with a new company, and dropped me from the policy. (Our rates had gone up due to my wife's illness.) I found out that I lost my health insurance when the health insurance company called me to inform me about it. Then about a month later my two partners voted me out of the company. They had ingratiated themselves with my largest client (the largest client our company had), convincing the client that I could no longer do their work since I was attending to my wife's illness. In the end I lost everything. Company. Largest client. All my savings. (Almost lost my house.) And eventually my wife.
Anyway, the most difficult thing for me to overcome in all this wasn't the loss of these things. Or even the loss of my wife. It was my struggle to forgive my former partners. It took a long time but I finally forgave them. In fact, I've come around to the point where I sort of feel sorry for them now. I mean, would you want to be in the position of having to explain those actions as you were being judged?
Anyway, the most difficult thing for me to overcome in all this wasn't the loss of these things. Or even the loss of my wife. It was my struggle to forgive my former partners. It took a long time but I finally forgave them. In fact, I've come around to the point where I sort of feel sorry for them now. I mean, would you want to be in the position of having to explain those actions as you were being judged?
The hardest time for me was living in Maine for 8 years so my wife could be closer to her family. While there a couple of her brother's took advantage of me as their employee, one didn't even pay me for several months of hard work. As a result I loss our possessions in a storage unit because I didn't have enough to pay a past due amount.
Her adult son mistreated me and took me for granted. I spoke to my late wife many times about his behavior and that we would be happier if he was a distance from us. In her mind her son was a child even though he was in his early 30's and those conversations went nowhere.
We lived with her parents for a few years but they took most of my money every week for room and board leaving me next to nothing to save to get out, yet they would harass me every week about when I was going to move out. Finally, we moved into a nice townhome apartment but unfortunately, due her declining health she was in and out of the hospital and nursing homes. She spent the last 1 1/2 years of her life in a nursing home as I could no longer take good care of her. I saw her every chance that I got.
She was in great pain most of her life and I spent the 11 years of our marriage watching her die a little each day. One day she was crying and I asked what was wrong. She said she couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to be with Jesus. This was the last coherent conversation that I had with her. She died 2 weeks later. She was a deeply spiritual person, with the love of God in her heart.
Now, I finally have a place but my late wife was not there, I was feeding her son who refused to work and supporting his nicotine addiction. Every night when I came home after a hard day of work there would be music blaring and the air was filled with pot smoke. Empty beer cans on the floor. The police were called many times and I was eventually evicted. About that time my car broke down and now I was walking to work, to the grocery store, laundry mat, etc. Her son couldn't even pick up after himself. Also due to the eviction I lost my two dogs whom I loved.
In the end my late wife died from a pulmonary embolism in the heart. Only a respirator was keeping her alive. I told the doctor to take off the mask and let her die with dignity. I gently brushed her hair, told her I loved her and would see her again soon. A minute later she was gone. She was 59 years old.
Her father had died a few years before and a month before she died her mother had died. Her brother said that her mom left her a little money, enough to cover cremation and a simple service. I didn't ask him exactly how much she had been left so it's possible I got cheated out of some money. At the point I didn't care. I went outside the hospital on a gloomy misty Friday night and cried my eyes out.
Her service was to be a week later. I informed the company that I worked for that I was resigning my position and going home to Florida to be with my family. I wished her son the best of luck but this was one road trip that I was going to make alone and he would have to fend for himself. I was emotionally and physically drained from being isolated from my family, living in a harsh cold environment and being stomped on all of the time. The day after the service I hopped on a bus and got the hell out of that God-forsaken place.
I arrived home with nothing but the clothes on my back. Yeah, it was a little challenging. I have heard it said that what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I believe there is an element of truth to that but it was real close.
Her adult son mistreated me and took me for granted. I spoke to my late wife many times about his behavior and that we would be happier if he was a distance from us. In her mind her son was a child even though he was in his early 30's and those conversations went nowhere.
We lived with her parents for a few years but they took most of my money every week for room and board leaving me next to nothing to save to get out, yet they would harass me every week about when I was going to move out. Finally, we moved into a nice townhome apartment but unfortunately, due her declining health she was in and out of the hospital and nursing homes. She spent the last 1 1/2 years of her life in a nursing home as I could no longer take good care of her. I saw her every chance that I got.
She was in great pain most of her life and I spent the 11 years of our marriage watching her die a little each day. One day she was crying and I asked what was wrong. She said she couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to be with Jesus. This was the last coherent conversation that I had with her. She died 2 weeks later. She was a deeply spiritual person, with the love of God in her heart.
Now, I finally have a place but my late wife was not there, I was feeding her son who refused to work and supporting his nicotine addiction. Every night when I came home after a hard day of work there would be music blaring and the air was filled with pot smoke. Empty beer cans on the floor. The police were called many times and I was eventually evicted. About that time my car broke down and now I was walking to work, to the grocery store, laundry mat, etc. Her son couldn't even pick up after himself. Also due to the eviction I lost my two dogs whom I loved.
In the end my late wife died from a pulmonary embolism in the heart. Only a respirator was keeping her alive. I told the doctor to take off the mask and let her die with dignity. I gently brushed her hair, told her I loved her and would see her again soon. A minute later she was gone. She was 59 years old.
Her father had died a few years before and a month before she died her mother had died. Her brother said that her mom left her a little money, enough to cover cremation and a simple service. I didn't ask him exactly how much she had been left so it's possible I got cheated out of some money. At the point I didn't care. I went outside the hospital on a gloomy misty Friday night and cried my eyes out.
Her service was to be a week later. I informed the company that I worked for that I was resigning my position and going home to Florida to be with my family. I wished her son the best of luck but this was one road trip that I was going to make alone and he would have to fend for himself. I was emotionally and physically drained from being isolated from my family, living in a harsh cold environment and being stomped on all of the time. The day after the service I hopped on a bus and got the hell out of that God-forsaken place.
I arrived home with nothing but the clothes on my back. Yeah, it was a little challenging. I have heard it said that what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I believe there is an element of truth to that but it was real close.
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Understanding salvation I felt I could never be good enough to be saved because it was drilled into me that if you did wrong you went to hell and everything was wrong. I'd promise God I'd be good and obey the commandments and then I'd fail over and over again and I was on a rotating door in and out of church because I felt like such a hypocrite.
At least the last time I stopped going to church I knew I couldn't live without God in my life so I kept having a daily devotional and reading the Bible.
At 56 I was pouring my heart out to God saying I wasn't good enough and I'd never be good enough and He said Darlene you are right you aren't good enough, but that is why my Son died for you so that when you repent and ask for forgiveness His blood covers your sins and I no longer see your sins but see the perfect life of my Son Jesus. I said to God is it just that simple? He said yes.... I started crying like a baby so grateful for His grace and so sorry for the sins I had committed that helped kill Jesus. I was just so thankful and happy all at the same time....
So God took the time to explain to me what salvation was and I'm so glad and happy He did.
At least the last time I stopped going to church I knew I couldn't live without God in my life so I kept having a daily devotional and reading the Bible.
At 56 I was pouring my heart out to God saying I wasn't good enough and I'd never be good enough and He said Darlene you are right you aren't good enough, but that is why my Son died for you so that when you repent and ask for forgiveness His blood covers your sins and I no longer see your sins but see the perfect life of my Son Jesus. I said to God is it just that simple? He said yes.... I started crying like a baby so grateful for His grace and so sorry for the sins I had committed that helped kill Jesus. I was just so thankful and happy all at the same time....
So God took the time to explain to me what salvation was and I'm so glad and happy He did.
Sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, drugs and alcohol, being a promiscuous teen when I turned my back on my Savior looking for love elsewhere to fill a void only He could fill, a magnet for molesters, a long marriage with a habitual cheater, a relationship with a different physical and mental abuser, 2 near death experiences, physical breakdown after 2 csections, hypoxia, polyneuropathy, spine collapse all leaving me in a wheelchair for a very long time, emergency colon resection, emergency gallbladder surgery, tragic death of my step father, the loss of my dad from colon cancer, my mother's battles with cancer, her stroke resulting in loss of who my mother was...just to name a little bit of what God has carried me through...and knowing He died for me and loves me. He has used it all to bring me back to Him...so I would listen and fulfill the purpose He has for my life. I serve a MIGHTY GOD!
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The toughest thing I had to overcome I havent yet. I was born with aspergers which I think is partly to blame I have crippling anxiety. its a life long struggle but Christ is. mmy everything now. Another thing im trying to overcome is being so judgemental. I also almost died of heart failure a few years back i had high risk surgery after that. But I dont count that since the docters are the ones who did all the work.. I also have fond memories of spending time with my mother during recovery so no negative feelings torwards it.
D
Business partners already suggest a personal relationship first. Friendship and trust.
And when they screw with you while something even more personal is happening -- like your wife is dying -- it doesn't get any deeper than that.
It was easier to forgive my rapists than it was to forgive family when John was terribly sick and they wouldn't come through. BUT they merely didn't give when we needed something. Prov's business partners didn't just "didn't give," they took! And since they took while Mrs. Prov was dying, that was everything all at once.
It's a major testimony to the strength of the Lord that he was able to forgive.
And when they screw with you while something even more personal is happening -- like your wife is dying -- it doesn't get any deeper than that.
It was easier to forgive my rapists than it was to forgive family when John was terribly sick and they wouldn't come through. BUT they merely didn't give when we needed something. Prov's business partners didn't just "didn't give," they took! And since they took while Mrs. Prov was dying, that was everything all at once.
It's a major testimony to the strength of the Lord that he was able to forgive.
D
I don't see Aspergers as something to overcome anymore than I see my imperfect eyes as something to overcome. It just is. And it's just a different way of seeing things, (in both cases, one literally, and one not.) You is what you is and you ain't what you isn't.
At 28, you have already learned most of the helpful ways of handling it. You may need more help with unusual situations in the future. That can be said of the neurotypicals and neuroatypicals alike.
BUT the anxiety part? There's help for that. You don't have to live with that for the rest of your life. But you do have to search for the help, since many doctors think it's their job to identify it, but not their thing to treat it, apart from handing out drugs. (And drugs may help, and they may end up being lifelong, just like my glasses are lifelong. It's when that's all they do, it's a problem.) Find the doctor and/or counselor who will teach you ways around it or through it, so it doesn't end up being lifelong. And don't settle until you find one who promises to help you get it under control. After all, anxiety really isn't a problem when it serves a purpose. (We're supposed to be anxious during job interviews, first dates, and threatening health issues. Not being anxiety would be bad then.) It's a problem when that's a state of being.
Just don't accept this is all you get in life.
At 28, you have already learned most of the helpful ways of handling it. You may need more help with unusual situations in the future. That can be said of the neurotypicals and neuroatypicals alike.
BUT the anxiety part? There's help for that. You don't have to live with that for the rest of your life. But you do have to search for the help, since many doctors think it's their job to identify it, but not their thing to treat it, apart from handing out drugs. (And drugs may help, and they may end up being lifelong, just like my glasses are lifelong. It's when that's all they do, it's a problem.) Find the doctor and/or counselor who will teach you ways around it or through it, so it doesn't end up being lifelong. And don't settle until you find one who promises to help you get it under control. After all, anxiety really isn't a problem when it serves a purpose. (We're supposed to be anxious during job interviews, first dates, and threatening health issues. Not being anxiety would be bad then.) It's a problem when that's a state of being.
Just don't accept this is all you get in life.
Hi all...My hardest thing for me growing up was that my mother died before I was 3 years of age...I had no one through my life guide me...
Brought up in children's homes, separated from my sisters, reaching teens, facing sexual abuse from family member and strangers, to timid to do anything about it, made many mistakes being a parent, went through drink, drugs, mental hospital, 30 years in the mental health service, felt like a number and never a person, failed marriage, failed relationships, failed everything, and by the grace of God I met Jesus......
And then when I sobbed my heart to God asking why He took my mummy away, this is what He gave me...
John 14:18 I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you...
From that day I have never asked God that same question, I have never felt so loved in all my life since God fed me them words...I grew up not knowing love, but God always kept my heart tender towards others, I have forgiven all who have trespassed against me, and I have asked God to forgive me for all those I have trespassed against...Today I am a new creation in Christ, loved and a child of God...Praise the Lord O my soul praise the Lord...\/...
Brought up in children's homes, separated from my sisters, reaching teens, facing sexual abuse from family member and strangers, to timid to do anything about it, made many mistakes being a parent, went through drink, drugs, mental hospital, 30 years in the mental health service, felt like a number and never a person, failed marriage, failed relationships, failed everything, and by the grace of God I met Jesus...
...And then when I sobbed my heart to God asking why He took my mummy away, this is what He gave me...
John 14:18 I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you...
From that day I have never asked God that same question, I have never felt so loved in all my life since God fed me them words...I grew up not knowing love, but God always kept my heart tender towards others, I have forgiven all who have trespassed against me, and I have asked God to forgive me for all those I have trespassed against...Today I am a new creation in Christ, loved and a child of God...Praise the Lord O my soul praise the Lord...\
/...
I grew up in a domestically abusive environment. Dad was a drunkard and him and mom married young. I'm the oldest child. I learned to fight my father before I learned how to read. I'd throw things at him to protect my mom and we'd hide from him every other night. He'd take out a knife and we'd all scram. Growing up, I took it upon myself to save my mom and my sister (this was long before my brother was born). I studied so hard so I could get a job and we could leave my dad. Either that or I'd cut myself, hold a gun to my head or pour some toilet cleaning acid thingy in a cup, in an attempt to flee this demanding world. This was before I was a teenager.
Long story short, we all became Christians (as a family) and my dad became a new man. I was 15. I had forgiven him (Mom did first) but I hadn't changed. I still thought all things depended on me and that I had to be good enough. This was intensified by what the church taught me. That I had to do things to please God. I tried hard to please my family and was always disappointed in myself when I failed to measure up. But on the outside, I was almost perfect. Mom became a youth pastor. I was in the worship team. I had a great job and never dated. Neighbours thought I was the perfect daughter. But I really was bitter on the inside because I thought I still had to prove myself. Not long after, I secretly got into fornication. And I maintained a double life.
When I started living alone, it only intensified and I also got severely addicted to an online video game for 1.5 years. I got into bad company and started backsliding. I did many immoral things with random strangers on the internet. If I didn't care about my image so much, I would've sold myself as a prostitute. Then, I met my first love online, who was an atheist. I tried to please him in all ways possible. When he broke up with me and I decided to quit the game for good, reality hit me in the face. The guilt that I'd been carrying since I was young plus the withdrawal syndromes from the game and the bf that I put on a pedestal breaking up with me, it was all too much to bear for my immature mind and heart.
When I heard people say there's a hole in their heart, I thought it was an exaggeration. Until I felt it for real. I remember holding my chest making sure I wasn't bleeding somewhere while I was lying on the kitchen floor unsure of how everything went wrong in my life. I tried, very hard. I just wanted things to be right. The hardest thing was accepting that I could never do it on my own, in the first place. The truth was I was a filthy sinner regardless of what was on the outside. This was a huge blow to my ego and ego was all I had.
I sat there in my bedroom, surrounded by boxes of tissues, pillows wet with tears as I played the first podcast sermon my mom sent me (thank God for moms).
This was two years ago and I thank God that I'm now an overcomer, in Him. Jesus loves me. This, I know.
Long story short, we all became Christians (as a family) and my dad became a new man. I was 15. I had forgiven him (Mom did first) but I hadn't changed. I still thought all things depended on me and that I had to be good enough. This was intensified by what the church taught me. That I had to do things to please God. I tried hard to please my family and was always disappointed in myself when I failed to measure up. But on the outside, I was almost perfect. Mom became a youth pastor. I was in the worship team. I had a great job and never dated. Neighbours thought I was the perfect daughter. But I really was bitter on the inside because I thought I still had to prove myself. Not long after, I secretly got into fornication. And I maintained a double life.
When I started living alone, it only intensified and I also got severely addicted to an online video game for 1.5 years. I got into bad company and started backsliding. I did many immoral things with random strangers on the internet. If I didn't care about my image so much, I would've sold myself as a prostitute. Then, I met my first love online, who was an atheist. I tried to please him in all ways possible. When he broke up with me and I decided to quit the game for good, reality hit me in the face. The guilt that I'd been carrying since I was young plus the withdrawal syndromes from the game and the bf that I put on a pedestal breaking up with me, it was all too much to bear for my immature mind and heart.
When I heard people say there's a hole in their heart, I thought it was an exaggeration. Until I felt it for real. I remember holding my chest making sure I wasn't bleeding somewhere while I was lying on the kitchen floor unsure of how everything went wrong in my life. I tried, very hard. I just wanted things to be right. The hardest thing was accepting that I could never do it on my own, in the first place. The truth was I was a filthy sinner regardless of what was on the outside. This was a huge blow to my ego and ego was all I had.
I sat there in my bedroom, surrounded by boxes of tissues, pillows wet with tears as I played the first podcast sermon my mom sent me (thank God for moms).
This was two years ago and I thank God that I'm now an overcomer, in Him. Jesus loves me. This, I know.