Who is Your Fantasy Self, and How Much do You Put into Being that Person?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,758
3,814
113
#1
Good afternoon, Everyone. :)

I would like to ask the community here about The Person They Would Like to Be.

The past few months, I've had an interest in learning about minimalism and reduced-waste living. One of the videos I watched last week made a very interesting (and slightly heart-wrenching) point--the host of the video asked, "Who is your fantasy self, and how many resources are you wasting on a life you don't actually live?"

Examples of this included things such as: the person who thinks they'd like to be a great cook but actually hates cooking, and yet, they keep on collecting a mountain of cookbooks that the never use; the woman who thinks they're the social butterfly and keeps buying expensive outfits--for outings that don't even exist in her life; the man who wants to be a successful businessman, and so his cars and personal image must meet certain standards, but yet, his actual life is far from what he is envisioning, and his is buying things that are far beyond his actual salary.

Many years ago, I had a Fantasy Self--I had just gotten married, and I had envisioned myself as a homemaker and mother. During the first year of our marriage, I started to collect small things, such as baby bottles, bibs, and an occasional stuffed animal. When my husband filed for divorce and left some time later, it was very hard for me to give up those things, because I saw it as giving up myself, or at least, The Self I Wanted to Be.

At another time in my life, I had yet another Fantasy Self in which I wanted to be someone who was constantly learning about art and culture while interacting with active members of those communities, because I like talking to people about the talents God has given them and how they use them to reach other people. However, in just a short period of time, I started to realize just how much money, time, and resources a life like that can require (it doesn't have to be expensive, of course, but I lived in an area where it was), and, because of various circumstances, I also had to let that part of me go.

I have to admit that perhaps I have developed a bit of a cynical, albeit more realistic, attitude. I no longer feed or nurture a Fantasy Self, Life, or Future, but rather, try my best to be present in the moment and be thankful for what I have, rather than what I think I could be. Admittedly, it feels like something is missing, because I believe that God gave us the ability to dream.

In contrast, I have two friends who, at one point, could have been said to have have Fantasy Selves, all revolving around owning their own businesses. Even though it took many years (and challenges) in the making, their Fantasy Selves eventually became the Reality of Their Lives.

This got me thinking: what is the difference between a fantasy self that is unrealistic, and then projecting an optimistic future self that one might actually obtain?

* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?

* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?

* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?

*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to share your thoughts!

This has been something at the forefront of my mind, and I will be eager to read about other people's experiences and perspectives.
 
J

Jennie-Mae

Guest
#2
I was always the dreamer in my family whenever I was a little girl. I was fantasizing about becoming an author, a real good one, even better than Harper Lee, that just lived inside an hour or two away from us.

So I was writing all kinda junk all the time, until I one day realized that what I was writing was just that, junk😁. It never got anywhere near Harper Lee, or nobody else for that matter lol.

My sister used to tease😛 me and she was saying that I couldn’t expect to become an author, cause nobody in the vicinity could even speak correctly, not to mention write lol.

So I buried that dream.

I’m glad I did. I like being a mother much better.❤️❤️❤️
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
978
1,000
93
#4
Hmmmm....my fantasy self.
Well, aside from certain physical things I`d like to change...
I`d like to remember where Scripture is FOUND, not just what it says.
I`d like to have smaller feet.
I aspire to be a Provebs 31 woman.
I`d like to be more aware of politics and political issues in general.
I get my words mixed up sometimes...and that makes me feel a bit dumb. So I`d like to not feel that way.
I`d like my retention about certain things to be better.
I try to be very aware of the voice of truth vs. the accuser.

I listened to a podcast recently about people trying to `find themselves``. Vange Johnson said we find ourselves in who Jesus says we are. I love that.
 
Sep 23, 2018
58
53
18
#5
* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?

* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?

* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?

*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?
1. My fantasy self has a degree in Animal Science, or Criminal Justice. Both cost me way more than I'm willing to pay for a career that may help pay off the student loans, or it might not.

2. & 3. A fantasy self allows a person to indulge in something that is not efficient in time or money. Fantasy leaves you wishing for something you can't attain, no matter how often you lie to yourself. If a life a person leads is draining more than achieving, then something has to change. Prayer can help a lot more than some may realize, myself included. When all other sources fail to inform, or if you want God's opinion before you make a decision, prayer is there to intercede for you.

4. It honestly depends on the attitude of the person who is trying to go after either fantasy or reality. If they are open and welcome to hearing your opinion, then they might decide to change. If not, there again lies prayer. Sometimes people tend to want to walk their own way, so interference of any kind isn't welcome. Be sure to acknowledge whether or not your advice is warranted by taking in how a familiar person regards your relationship with them.
 

Monnkai

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2014
2,741
689
113
#6
My moniker Monnkai is a Character I came up with in Highschool although in recent years due to my Christian faith him and the books and cards I make with him have become a true Godly character and demonstrates a great faith that I cannot hope at this point to rival. Although I make it clear he is not without his flaws its still something I inspire to be
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,758
3,814
113
#7
Awesome thoughts, everyone--thank you for sharing, and I hope that people will continue to share.

I've enjoyed reading your answers because it helps me think about my own projections about myself as well--where or who I want to be in life, and whether or not it's a healthy or realistic place to be.

Thank you for opening your hearts and being willing to share :), and I hope that others will as well.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#8
I literally live in my head. I'm all sorts of people, but none of those people are the actual me, but only mirrors of the perspectives I have about my own life.

Outside of this, I actually live a somewhat empty existence.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
6,110
2,861
113
#9
Good afternoon, Everyone. :)

I would like to ask the community here about The Person They Would Like to Be.

The past few months, I've had an interest in learning about minimalism and reduced-waste living. One of the videos I watched last week made a very interesting (and slightly heart-wrenching) point--the host of the video asked, "Who is your fantasy self, and how many resources are you wasting on a life you don't actually live?"

Examples of this included things such as: the person who thinks they'd like to be a great cook but actually hates cooking, and yet, they keep on collecting a mountain of cookbooks that the never use; the woman who thinks they're the social butterfly and keeps buying expensive outfits--for outings that don't even exist in her life; the man who wants to be a successful businessman, and so his cars and personal image must meet certain standards, but yet, his actual life is far from what he is envisioning, and his is buying things that are far beyond his actual salary.

Many years ago, I had a Fantasy Self--I had just gotten married, and I had envisioned myself as a homemaker and mother. During the first year of our marriage, I started to collect small things, such as baby bottles, bibs, and an occasional stuffed animal. When my husband filed for divorce and left some time later, it was very hard for me to give up those things, because I saw it as giving up myself, or at least, The Self I Wanted to Be.

At another time in my life, I had yet another Fantasy Self in which I wanted to be someone who was constantly learning about art and culture while interacting with active members of those communities, because I like talking to people about the talents God has given them and how they use them to reach other people. However, in just a short period of time, I started to realize just how much money, time, and resources a life like that can require (it doesn't have to be expensive, of course, but I lived in an area where it was), and, because of various circumstances, I also had to let that part of me go.

I have to admit that perhaps I have developed a bit of a cynical, albeit more realistic, attitude. I no longer feed or nurture a Fantasy Self, Life, or Future, but rather, try my best to be present in the moment and be thankful for what I have, rather than what I think I could be. Admittedly, it feels like something is missing, because I believe that God gave us the ability to dream.

In contrast, I have two friends who, at one point, could have been said to have have Fantasy Selves, all revolving around owning their own businesses. Even though it took many years (and challenges) in the making, their Fantasy Selves eventually became the Reality of Their Lives.

This got me thinking: what is the difference between a fantasy self that is unrealistic, and then projecting an optimistic future self that one might actually obtain?

* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?

* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?

* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?

*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to share your thoughts!

This has been something at the forefront of my mind, and I will be eager to read about other people's experiences and perspectives.
This one is tricky for me...
As I thought I had an idea of what my dream job was... I thought I was doing it, but I now realize I genuinely had not opened the aperture wide enough to be completely on the mark...
My Fantasy Self:
- I'm Christopher Reeves in "Somewhere in Time"
- I'm "The Prince of Persia in the Sands of Time"
- I'm "John Cater - of Mars"
- I'm Bek in "The God's of Egypt"
- I'm Hawkeye in "The Last of the Mohicans"

I see myself as wanting to aspire to be the Man who Loves His True-Love/His Soulmate so deeply that he would be willing to do whatever it takes to prove his love - in such a herculean and selfless manner - that he is deserving of being able to serve his Love, his Queen for always...

I wish I was brave enough to be able to have the confidence to simply walk away from the stressful work place environment, and make the genuine steps and actions necessary to make the real-dream jobs a plausible reality...

The Marine leadership traits and principles have served invaluable to help me to "know myself and to seek self improvement" through out my adult life... This process seems continuous - I find myself constantly striving to become the best version of myself that is humanly possible... While my spiritual awareness as heightened - I know that I have so much more to learn about myself and thus so much more to improve upon...
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
978
1,000
93
#10
This one is tricky for me...
As I thought I had an idea of what my dream job was... I thought I was doing it, but I now realize I genuinely had not opened the aperture wide enough to be completely on the mark...
My Fantasy Self:
- I'm Christopher Reeves in "Somewhere in Time"
- I'm "The Prince of Persia in the Sands of Time"
- I'm "John Cater - of Mars"
- I'm Bek in "The God's of Egypt"
- I'm Hawkeye in "The Last of the Mohicans"

I see myself as wanting to aspire to be the Man who Loves His True-Love/His Soulmate so deeply that he would be willing to do whatever it takes to prove his love - in such a herculean and selfless manner - that he is deserving of being able to serve his Love, his Queen for always...

I wish I was brave enough to be able to have the confidence to simply walk away from the stressful work place environment, and make the genuine steps and actions necessary to make the real-dream jobs a plausible reality...

The Marine leadership traits and principles have served invaluable to help me to "know myself and to seek self improvement" through out my adult life... This process seems continuous - I find myself constantly striving to become the best version of myself that is humanly possible... While my spiritual awareness as heightened - I know that I have so much more to learn about myself and thus so much more to improve upon...
Have you ever read 'Wild at Heart' by John Eldredge?
Your post reminds me of how he writes. :)
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
978
1,000
93
#12
I have not, but now I will have to look into it...
thanks for the kind suggestion.. :)
You're very welcome!
I think you may enjoy any book by John Eldredge. I certainly do.
He and his wife Stasi run Ransomed Heart ministries. When you get a moment, check out their web page. :)
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
6,110
2,861
113
#13
You're very welcome!
I think you may enjoy any book by John Eldredge. I certainly do.
He and his wife Stasi run Ransomed Heart ministries. When you get a moment, check out their web page. :)
TamLynn, thank you so much - I just read the review and ordered the book... I will check out their web page too... :)
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,427
4,143
113
#14
SS Starting a thread in the Misc. forum? This is a first (I think)
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,427
4,143
113
#15
I literally live in my head. I'm all sorts of people, but none of those people are the actual me, but only mirrors of the perspectives I have about my own life.

Outside of this, I actually live a somewhat empty existence.
Wow that's exactly how I feel too.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,427
4,143
113
#16
I do have a fantasy self and everyday it seems to drift further and further away. Things have happened that keep preventing me from trying to progress. Namely injuries and illnesses.
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
978
1,000
93
#17
I do have a fantasy self and everyday it seems to drift further and further away. Things have happened that keep preventing me from trying to progress. Namely injuries and illnesses.
Hi zero. :)
I want to encourage you not give up on your hopes and dreams.
We are told to "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart". (Psalm 37:4)
Sometimes it takes a while to get to the place we feel God is leading us. (There's mountains, valley's, deserts, rivers, raging storms, plateaus).
It can be hard to walk in faith when we are feeling defeated. :(
God is for you. He is kind, loving, not slow in keeping his promises. He is Good. (And good at being God)!
Praying you'll feel encouraged today and be reminded of God's great love and care for you!
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
6,110
2,861
113
#18
You're very welcome!
I think you may enjoy any book by John Eldredge. I certainly do.
He and his wife Stasi run Ransomed Heart ministries. When you get a moment, check out their web page. :)
TamLynn, your referral has hit the mark (very impressive)... Just spent the last 38 minutes listening to one of their 'Wild at Heart' podcasts... pretty inspirational... I looked in their store - and again have to commend your intuition - I think that I will be shopping from here on a pretty regular basis... adding to my bucket list... ;) eventually to make more time for my personal reading... I will, once the dust settles... just trying to keep my head above water for now...

God Bless, and thanks again for being so thoughtful and considerate...
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
22
#19
Good afternoon, Everyone. :)

I would like to ask the community here about The Person They Would Like to Be.

The past few months, I've had an interest in learning about minimalism and reduced-waste living. One of the videos I watched last week made a very interesting (and slightly heart-wrenching) point--the host of the video asked, "Who is your fantasy self, and how many resources are you wasting on a life you don't actually live?"

Examples of this included things such as: the person who thinks they'd like to be a great cook but actually hates cooking, and yet, they keep on collecting a mountain of cookbooks that the never use; the woman who thinks they're the social butterfly and keeps buying expensive outfits--for outings that don't even exist in her life; the man who wants to be a successful businessman, and so his cars and personal image must meet certain standards, but yet, his actual life is far from what he is envisioning, and his is buying things that are far beyond his actual salary.

Many years ago, I had a Fantasy Self--I had just gotten married, and I had envisioned myself as a homemaker and mother. During the first year of our marriage, I started to collect small things, such as baby bottles, bibs, and an occasional stuffed animal. When my husband filed for divorce and left some time later, it was very hard for me to give up those things, because I saw it as giving up myself, or at least, The Self I Wanted to Be.

At another time in my life, I had yet another Fantasy Self in which I wanted to be someone who was constantly learning about art and culture while interacting with active members of those communities, because I like talking to people about the talents God has given them and how they use them to reach other people. However, in just a short period of time, I started to realize just how much money, time, and resources a life like that can require (it doesn't have to be expensive, of course, but I lived in an area where it was), and, because of various circumstances, I also had to let that part of me go.

I have to admit that perhaps I have developed a bit of a cynical, albeit more realistic, attitude. I no longer feed or nurture a Fantasy Self, Life, or Future, but rather, try my best to be present in the moment and be thankful for what I have, rather than what I think I could be. Admittedly, it feels like something is missing, because I believe that God gave us the ability to dream.

In contrast, I have two friends who, at one point, could have been said to have have Fantasy Selves, all revolving around owning their own businesses. Even though it took many years (and challenges) in the making, their Fantasy Selves eventually became the Reality of Their Lives.

This got me thinking: what is the difference between a fantasy self that is unrealistic, and then projecting an optimistic future self that one might actually obtain?

* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?

* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?

* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?

*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to share your thoughts!

This has been something at the forefront of my mind, and I will be eager to read about other people's experiences and perspectives.
First off this sounds totally fun and interesting good topic cx. Anyway my fantasy self is super cool , i think anyways. So i want to be bold especially about my faith i want to evangelize and street preach at some point. I want to have a real and vibrant relationship with Christ and always be able to spend time and talk to him like he's right next to me. I also want to be strong enough to take care of my loved ones and courageous enough to face my fears for others. I want to be diligent, i tend to be very distracted or even lazy i don't like that. I want to respect women more i have a disgusting past if I'm honest i was very selfish and i want to look at women in particular in the highest regard i don't want to think of them as meat like i used to and even now sometimes do sadly. I want to be charitable selfless and faithful, i look out too much fpr myself and i fail purely because i just don't care sometimes. I want to be married , kinda, and so i want to be a good husband, someone who looks out for my wife and children first before myself. I want to cook decently ig i can now but more is better, i want to draw much better as well and i have some plans i believe God has laid on my heart that i want to pursue as well. I want my locs to be noice lol hopefully a little past my shoulders. I want to make enough to let my wife stay at home with our kids. I want to get stronger for my own self esteem but also so i can take care of people if needed and so i can be as handsome as possible xD my wife should like the way i look too but anywayyyy. I want to waste less time and be more productive. And im not too sure why, or maybe i do and don't want to express why, but i want to be dependable im not i fail so much and I'm tired of being so ughh, people should be able to depend on me for things even if it's just advice or prayer. Im sure I'm leaving something out but ye ig that's it cx
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,342
6,863
113
#20
This one is tricky for me...
As I thought I had an idea of what my dream job was... I thought I was doing it, but I now realize I genuinely had not opened the aperture wide enough to be completely on the mark...
My Fantasy Self:
- I'm Christopher Reeves in "Somewhere in Time"
- I'm "The Prince of Persia in the Sands of Time"
- I'm "John Cater - of Mars"
- I'm Bek in "The God's of Egypt"
- I'm Hawkeye in "The Last of the Mohicans"

I see myself as wanting to aspire to be the Man who Loves His True-Love/His Soulmate so deeply that he would be willing to do whatever it takes to prove his love - in such a herculean and selfless manner - that he is deserving of being able to serve his Love, his Queen for always...

I wish I was brave enough to be able to have the confidence to simply walk away from the stressful work place environment, and make the genuine steps and actions necessary to make the real-dream jobs a plausible reality...

The Marine leadership traits and principles have served invaluable to help me to "know myself and to seek self improvement" through out my adult life... This process seems continuous - I find myself constantly striving to become the best version of myself that is humanly possible... While my spiritual awareness as heightened - I know that I have so much more to learn about myself and thus so much more to improve upon...
Great response, I see you in the about section on your profile as a female but on more than this post I read you are a man. I know this is not my business, just curious, if you would humor me. I remember thinking he seems so rare in that he seems to be in touch with his feelings, kinda like us chicks, lol. So I went to read the about and you are a she. Can you help a sister out, if you don't mind my question offputting.