Good afternoon, Everyone. 
I would like to ask the community here about The Person They Would Like to Be.
The past few months, I've had an interest in learning about minimalism and reduced-waste living. One of the videos I watched last week made a very interesting (and slightly heart-wrenching) point--the host of the video asked, "Who is your fantasy self, and how many resources are you wasting on a life you don't actually live?"
Examples of this included things such as: the person who thinks they'd like to be a great cook but actually hates cooking, and yet, they keep on collecting a mountain of cookbooks that the never use; the woman who thinks they're the social butterfly and keeps buying expensive outfits--for outings that don't even exist in her life; the man who wants to be a successful businessman, and so his cars and personal image must meet certain standards, but yet, his actual life is far from what he is envisioning, and his is buying things that are far beyond his actual salary.
Many years ago, I had a Fantasy Self--I had just gotten married, and I had envisioned myself as a homemaker and mother. During the first year of our marriage, I started to collect small things, such as baby bottles, bibs, and an occasional stuffed animal. When my husband filed for divorce and left some time later, it was very hard for me to give up those things, because I saw it as giving up myself, or at least, The Self I Wanted to Be.
At another time in my life, I had yet another Fantasy Self in which I wanted to be someone who was constantly learning about art and culture while interacting with active members of those communities, because I like talking to people about the talents God has given them and how they use them to reach other people. However, in just a short period of time, I started to realize just how much money, time, and resources a life like that can require (it doesn't have to be expensive, of course, but I lived in an area where it was), and, because of various circumstances, I also had to let that part of me go.
I have to admit that perhaps I have developed a bit of a cynical, albeit more realistic, attitude. I no longer feed or nurture a Fantasy Self, Life, or Future, but rather, try my best to be present in the moment and be thankful for what I have, rather than what I think I could be. Admittedly, it feels like something is missing, because I believe that God gave us the ability to dream.
In contrast, I have two friends who, at one point, could have been said to have have Fantasy Selves, all revolving around owning their own businesses. Even though it took many years (and challenges) in the making, their Fantasy Selves eventually became the Reality of Their Lives.
This got me thinking: what is the difference between a fantasy self that is unrealistic, and then projecting an optimistic future self that one might actually obtain?
* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?
* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?
* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?
*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and to share your thoughts!
This has been something at the forefront of my mind, and I will be eager to read about other people's experiences and perspectives.
I would like to ask the community here about The Person They Would Like to Be.
The past few months, I've had an interest in learning about minimalism and reduced-waste living. One of the videos I watched last week made a very interesting (and slightly heart-wrenching) point--the host of the video asked, "Who is your fantasy self, and how many resources are you wasting on a life you don't actually live?"
Examples of this included things such as: the person who thinks they'd like to be a great cook but actually hates cooking, and yet, they keep on collecting a mountain of cookbooks that the never use; the woman who thinks they're the social butterfly and keeps buying expensive outfits--for outings that don't even exist in her life; the man who wants to be a successful businessman, and so his cars and personal image must meet certain standards, but yet, his actual life is far from what he is envisioning, and his is buying things that are far beyond his actual salary.
Many years ago, I had a Fantasy Self--I had just gotten married, and I had envisioned myself as a homemaker and mother. During the first year of our marriage, I started to collect small things, such as baby bottles, bibs, and an occasional stuffed animal. When my husband filed for divorce and left some time later, it was very hard for me to give up those things, because I saw it as giving up myself, or at least, The Self I Wanted to Be.
At another time in my life, I had yet another Fantasy Self in which I wanted to be someone who was constantly learning about art and culture while interacting with active members of those communities, because I like talking to people about the talents God has given them and how they use them to reach other people. However, in just a short period of time, I started to realize just how much money, time, and resources a life like that can require (it doesn't have to be expensive, of course, but I lived in an area where it was), and, because of various circumstances, I also had to let that part of me go.
I have to admit that perhaps I have developed a bit of a cynical, albeit more realistic, attitude. I no longer feed or nurture a Fantasy Self, Life, or Future, but rather, try my best to be present in the moment and be thankful for what I have, rather than what I think I could be. Admittedly, it feels like something is missing, because I believe that God gave us the ability to dream.
In contrast, I have two friends who, at one point, could have been said to have have Fantasy Selves, all revolving around owning their own businesses. Even though it took many years (and challenges) in the making, their Fantasy Selves eventually became the Reality of Their Lives.
This got me thinking: what is the difference between a fantasy self that is unrealistic, and then projecting an optimistic future self that one might actually obtain?
* Who is your Fantasy Self, or The Self You'd Like to Be?
* In your opinion, what is the difference between a Fantasy Self that may be a waste of money and resources, and a Self You'd Like to Be that might actually become a reality?
* How do you know when a version of your Projected Self should be nurtured and fed, or just left behind as you move on?
*If you have a friend, family member, or child who is trying to feed a reality in the making (or dreaming), how would you know when to support them, or when to tell them to give up and move on?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and to share your thoughts!
This has been something at the forefront of my mind, and I will be eager to read about other people's experiences and perspectives.
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