I saw another post you made a very long time ago here in which you were displaying the same kind of disposition, and then made an out-of-the-blue post asking a female member here to marry you.
I know you've written about the hard times you've had through your divorce. I'm sorry for everything you're going through, Paul, I really am. I hope that you allow God to help you make some positive choices and changes in your life.
I also hope and pray that you have a means of safe and sober transportation.
@PaulNew, here are some threads you might find helpful:
1.
https://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/cra-christians-in-recovery-anonymous.184102/
This is an on-going, long-term thread for Christians who are struggling with all kinds of conditions. I've posted in this thread myself about my own disordered eating. The author,
@calibob, is a long-time, well-respected member who really cares about the well-being of fellow Christians who are recovering.
Even if you don't post on this thread, just reading it through might help you connect with several other compassionate, supportive members who understand what you're going through.
2.
https://christianchat.com/bible-dis...rson-be-a-christin-yet-deny-the-bible.187836/
The title says it all. This is a thread asking whether someone can be a Christian but deny the Bible.
These threads are just a starting place -- I really hope you get the help and support you need.