HOW ON EARTH AM I EVER GOING TO FIND A CHRISTIAN WOMAN TO MARRY

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mollesmart

New member
#181
Dec 29, 2018
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#181
Please accept my apologies. It is nothing personal, I just think people sometimes put way too much thought into things and that holds them back. Sometimes it's good to take a chance. God brings people into your life, however no body is perfect, if you are looking for perfection that does not exist. However, the love of Christ is perfect and if you have that it will guide you like a beacon to someone who might not be perfect for someone else but perfect for you. As an older women I am fustrated with guys who bring up this kind of baggage and expect you to provide them answers. There is no guarantee as God does not respect people, someone who in your eyes might not fit the bill in terms of circumstances might actually be right person for you. It is essential to take chances, and not put people into boxes. I think we're saying the same thing. My sentences might have sounded like it was for you, but no it was rhetoric. Your opinion of me does not matter, what God thinks of me does. Keep the conversation rolling, these things are important and have to be aired out in the open.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#182
Mar 13, 2014
42,600
17,064
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Tennessee
#182
Kyless123 said:
I met my wife online. We got married young I was 22 she was 21 four months younger. Since we both were young we've only been married to each other. So I found someone that has never been married or has never done anything with another person. A christian. I'm not saying it's a perfect marriage because there is no such thing. There are always issues in a relationship- more with kids so I will take all the advice anyone wants to share. What's the opinion on online dating?
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I met my late second wife online in 2002 in an AOL Christian Romance chat room. I met my current wife online in 2014 on this site who is also a member so my opinion is favorable. Please be advised though that these are real people you are conversing with and have feelings and emotions. You cannot simply delete someone and forgot it ever happened. Also, I would not recommend online dating if there is no intention or the wherewithal is lacking to actually meet in person and establish a physical relationship verses simply using the computer as the exclusive means of communication.
 
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Kyless123

Member
#183
Dec 2, 2018
65
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#183
tourist said:
I met my late second wife online in 2002 in an AOL Christian Romance chat room. I met my current wife online in 2014 on this site who is also a member so my opinion is favorable. Please be advised though that these are real people you are conversing with and have feelings and emotions. You cannot simply delete someone and forgot it ever happened. Also, I would not recommend online dating if there is no intention or the wherewithal is lacking to actually meet in person and establish a physical relationship verses simply using the computer as the exclusive means of communication.
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I would tell anyone who may want to do online to meet each other soon as they can instead of chatting online. We've been married six years so far
 
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mollesmart

New member
#184
Dec 29, 2018
9
11
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#184
Kyless123 said:
I would tell anyone who may want to do online to meet each other soon as they can instead of chatting online. We've been married six years so far
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That is one of the reasons that I decided online dating was not for me, I found men who were so scared to meet in person due to "anticipated" rejection. I lead a busy life so spending most of it on my phone is not my equation for this season. So they would take up most of your time making conversation on phone, chat and generally driving you nuts. One guy actually bailed out on me and was online crying that he was so scared to meet me since he thought I was way out of his league and will reject him. Some of the recommendations here are point on. Also get an general idea of what you want in a person, what are dealbreakers and what are the must haves. These are not set in stone so you can work these out as the relationship progresses. Eg: Same Faith, Monogamous Relationship, Location, want/don't want kids, long term goals etc 1. Be honest and sincere, tell it as it is 2. Take time to know each other, sex only after marriage 3. Meet in person asap, when you do you either get an "green light" for chemistry or not. Also conversation is less ambiguous and more clarifying when you are face to face. 4. Some things unfortunately depends on time and effort, so invest time and effort getting to know the other person. Schedule it and hold onto it dearly 5. Don't date anyone else during the time you are dating this one person.
 
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Kyless123

Member
#185
Dec 2, 2018
65
37
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#185
mollesmart said:
That is one of the reasons that I decided online dating was not for me, I found men who were so scared to meet in person due to "anticipated" rejection. I lead a busy life so spending most of it on my phone is not my equation for this season. So they would take up most of your time making conversation on phone, chat and generally driving you nuts. One guy actually bailed out on me and was online crying that he was so scared to meet me since he thought I was way out of his league and will reject him. Some of the recommendations here are point on. Also get an general idea of what you want in a person, what are dealbreakers and what are the must haves. These are not set in stone so you can work these out as the relationship progresses. Eg: Same Faith, Monogamous Relationship, Location, want/don't want kids, long term goals etc 1. Be honest and sincere, tell it as it is 2. Take time to know each other, sex only after marriage 3. Meet in person asap, when you do you either get an "green light" for chemistry or not. Also conversation is less ambiguous and more clarifying when you are face to face. 4. Some things unfortunately depends on time and effort, so invest time and effort getting to know the other person. Schedule it and hold onto it dearly 5. Don't date anyone else during the time you are dating this one person.
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Good points. Before I met the person I married I met someone else online more of a distance relationship and we didn't meet till months later and that was bad. When we did meet she went from good friends at the beginning to really hating me at the end and I don't know why but we never talked again after meeting. After that I learned if a person does online stuff need to meet soon as possible. I didnt intend on marrying someone I met online. When we met I had no intention to marry her but I did.it just happened. Selfdissolving hold on pray about it and let God put the pieces together for you. I say he has a person for everyone who would like to find someone.
 
rimidalv

rimidalv

Member
#186
Dec 29, 2018
30
33
18
#186
Subhumanoidal said:
Actually the question isn't gender specific. This question is asked regularly here, by both men and women.
Though I can't help but find the irony that so many people who view themselves as such solid Christian's all coming here and still can't find anyone. Makes me wonder if people should focus more inward and less on their wants.

While I agree about dating women with kids, but not for the reasons you give.
Plenty of married or single parents are selfish, flaky, cheating, etc... the act of having kids does not suddenly improve a person or suggest they're more likely to have better characteristics. That's a false logic. Mumble rap alone is evidence that having kids doesn't make one a good person, parent or spouse :LOL:
The traits you describe can be just as solidly found in childless singles. A persons character is a better measure than their external circumstances.

For me dating someone with kids has nothing to do with that making them have good character but rather getting to connect with kids and provide a role in their lives that is often either missing totally or is insufficient to their needs.
The reality of dating a single parent is a risk of greater difficulty actually. Kids that may not want a new parent or person telling them what to do. A parent who may put their kids above you (even in marriage) and the like.
So finding those priorities and character are important beforehand. Not assuming they have them already.
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totally agree, from experience.
 
rimidalv

rimidalv

Member
#187
Dec 29, 2018
30
33
18
#187
I never dated anyone from on line because this is my first experience of talking to people on line. Have nothing to add. But my hat goes out to people who got it right, brave move.
 
rimidalv

rimidalv

Member
#188
Dec 29, 2018
30
33
18
#188
Happy New Year everybody. In my own tradition I stay up all night on the New Year, meet it with God so I can spent next year with God. First I need to be in relationship with God to the point of personality change (working on it), then God Himself will worry about what woman to get me with. From what i'm seeing about Him there will not be a disapoitment.
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#189
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
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#189
RodB65 said:
Selfdissolving,

If I might add one other thing...

I think women like to be "Woo'ed".;)
So, you might try that too.
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I don't even know what that means...but it made me laugh! Speaking of laughing, that is what I like, along with a man who gives me his time.
 
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Miri

Guest
#190
#190
selfdissolving said:
Why is it soooo difficult to find a Godly Christian female????

One who's: never been married, is celibate, and ACTUALLY puts Jesus first???? And isn't hella old???? And is biblically orthodox in her theology???? And can hold her ground in a spiritual discussion???

I get lonely and discouraged and melancholy.

And then I remember...."all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose".

Even this loneliness, discouragement and melancholy. Thank you Lord!
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Go to this person’s church. Lol.
They seem to have the opposite problem.

https://christianchat.com/bible-dis...g-with-christian-culture.181944/#post-3812639
 
LetThereBePeasOnEarth

LetThereBePeasOnEarth

Well-known member
#191
Dec 9, 2018
275
352
63
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#191
seoulsearch said:
Sorry Pippy.

You're just "purgatory old".

"Hella old" is a term reserved for just us REAL old-timers who've done the time ( and have to change the tennis balls on our walkers on a regular basis.)

You're not even close, Baby Girl. <3
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I'm sitting here reading this and laughing, and then it hits me. Wait. I don't know how old seoul is... what if I'M older??!?! :eek: (then again, if I am maybe she/you can recommend a better place for me to buy my replacement tennis balls ;) )
 
LetThereBePeasOnEarth

LetThereBePeasOnEarth

Well-known member
#192
Dec 9, 2018
275
352
63
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#192
Kafziel said:
You attach a bible to the end of a fishing pole and cast into your local church. If you catch a priest be sure to ask him for advice before throwing him back into the church, returning him to his natural habitat is the humane thing to do.
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Then again, maybe "catch and release" is a good way to go? it would certainly save on grocery costs :D (btw... in case you don't know me.. I'm just kidding.. really.)
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#193
May 23, 2009
16,585
5,509
113
#193
LetThereBePeasOnEarth said:
I'm sitting here reading this and laughing, and then it hits me. Wait. I don't know how old seoul is... what if I'M older??!?! :eek: (then again, if I am maybe she/you can recommend a better place for me to buy my replacement tennis balls ;) )
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I'm sorry, Miss Peas, but hell doesn't just give away its secrets like that. :cool:

However, rumor has it that I am somewhere around the mid-forty-ish range.

I'm not quite sure--they've never been able to catch the stork that brought me. ;)
 
LetThereBePeasOnEarth

LetThereBePeasOnEarth

Well-known member
#194
Dec 9, 2018
275
352
63
54
#194
RodB65 said:
Selfdissolving,

If I might add one other thing...

I think women like to be "Woo'ed".;)
So, you might try that too.
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Apparently my coffee hasn't kicked in yet bc I read that to say "Wooted" :oops: I thought... What the heckkkk??!? :ROFL: (Rod I really hope you'll get that coffee room back up to standard soon. I haven't had a good cuppa since you went awol!! ;) ) :coffee:
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#195
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
113
Germany
#195
Maybe stop looking on earth..look for someone on the moon. They gotta be healthy and good right
 
LetThereBePeasOnEarth

LetThereBePeasOnEarth

Well-known member
#196
Dec 9, 2018
275
352
63
54
#196
seoulsearch said:
I'm sorry, Miss Peas, but hell doesn't just give away its secrets like that. :cool:

However, rumor has it that I am somewhere around the mid-forty-ish range.

I'm not quite sure--they've never been able to catch the stork that brought me. ;)
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Sounds like we're in right about the same spot age-wise. Except technically I'm an older-middle 40 ish person ;) LOL Sounds like I might need to find out about your tennis ball supplier afterall! ;) LOL
 
rong

rong

Active member
#197
Nov 20, 2018
123
116
43
54
china
#197
selfdissolving said:
Why is it soooo difficult to find a Godly Christian female????

One who's: never been married, is celibate, and ACTUALLY puts Jesus first???? And isn't hella old???? And is biblically orthodox in her theology???? And can hold her ground in a spiritual discussion???

I get lonely and discouraged and melancholy.

And then I remember...."all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose".

Even this loneliness, discouragement and melancholy. Thank you Lord!
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Perhaps women christians are asking the same question: why can't I find a Christian man who is a good Christian to marry?
 
rong

rong

Active member
#198
Nov 20, 2018
123
116
43
54
china
#198
seoulsearch said:
Well if these are the qualifications for all men, no wonder I'm single.

I fail on not just one, but two crucial points: I was married to someone who left, and, gasp, I'm hella old (lol.)

All I can say is, thank goodness Godly Christian males are so much easier to find that Godly Christian females :rolleyes: (not), but best wishes in your endeavor to find one. :cool:
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China also has more single Christian women than men. Is this true of churches all over the world?
 
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