The Male and Disrespect

You were undermined as a kid and as an adult you carry that with you, and it robs you of any sense of authority. Chances are this is how you've taught your children and wife to treat you, as one who is Not in charge. First step is dealing with the root issues that cause you to lack authority. Simply being in a position of authority does not grant you authority by default. In fact I've seen parents nearly being lead by their kids because they couldn't gain the authority and respect of a parent over their children. But until you get past that you won't be able to really gain that position fully. It's somewhat of an earned respect. Granted, ideally, your wife should still be more supportive either way, but this isn't an ideal world.
It seems your brother is actually aiding in beating you down, and your inability to shut him up, or take any action to end his verbal diarrhea is a prime example of why you are not running your own house. You can't even manage a mouthy brother so how can you expect to earn the respect of your wife and kids? Or make them feel protected? As you allow yourself to be badgered and beat down.
Your wife needs an outside source (a pastor ideally) to remind her of her role and what exactly that means. And to be reminded it is her duty as a spouse to support you and build you up, not to continue undermining you as a father. She needs some accountability.
As she has accountability and a refresher on her expectations as a wife, you can also begin building respect for yourself and letting it show as you become more of the person your wife expects from a husband.
And if your wife is so contemptuous about exercising your faith as a family and is taking a plainly anti-biblical approach to her role in marriage then it's time to consider the possibility that your wife's beliefs may no longer line up with yours. She may not verbalize it but that doesn't mean something isn't going on internally.

Though it is possible one reason she selected you is because you lack authority and she knew you wouldn't fight back (in any meaningful way) as she took control. There are a Lot of Christian women that feel no qualms about attempting to replace the man as the head of the household, no matter how much they say they know it's not biblical.

As far as 'God leading you to this', that suggests that God caused you to be demoralized as a child, currently by your brother and then caused you to marry someone that will disrespect you to your face over and over. That's akin to saying God plauged Job, God took all Job had. Well, that wasn't how God operated normally, as that story proves, so why do people think that now?
No.
This is a group of people making choices and reacting to things. God didn't 'bring you here'. In fact the bible talks about God bringing people out of tough spots, not putting them in them. We don't need God's help to screw up our own lives, or those of others around us.

Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

When the Believer doesn't understand how the "Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus operates (Romans 8:2)," they enter back into the "Law of sin and death."

You are proclaiming Jesus, but ignoring the Cross (half measures won't do - lukewarm). This is called "spiritual adultery." Christ is become of no effect unto you, because you are you are frustrating grace. All born again Christians place their Faith in Jesus Christ and the Cross of Calvary for Salvation. But few Christians place and maintain their Faith exclusively in Christ and the Cross of Calvary for Sanctification. In other words their Faith may be in Christ but not the Cross, i.e., "The Finished Work," i.e., "The Blood of Jesus." The Apostle Paul calls this "another Jesus" (2 Cor. 11:4). Christ must never be separated from the Work of the Cross; to do so is to produce "another Jesus" (2 Cor. 11:4). The Cross of Christ is as necessary for Sanctification as it is for Salvation (1 Cor. 1:18).

“If the Believer doesn’t understand the Cross of Christ as it refers to Sanctification, in other words, how we live for the Lord on a daily basis, the only other alternative is “spiritual adultery.” And, to be sure, even as physical adultery destroys a marriage, likewise, “spiritual adultery” will destroy the marriage of the Believer with the Lord. It cannot be otherwise!”

JSM

It’s a societal problem you are facing. You can’t counteract years of social conditioning. God designed a patriarchal family and society/powers that be, redesigned it to be matriarchal. I’m not saying you are feminine, but if you aren’t Alpha, you can’t marry a strong women and expect her to listen. It’s biological. She has to submit, and if she finds you less than worthy, she won’t, no matter what church officials tell her too. So what are your choices? Hit the gym brother! Of course many on here think this is a spiritual problem, and it is, because she doesn’t submit to the ordinance of God. However if you choose to stay in this relationship, you need to take the biological route, Alpha up. I’m not saying “fifty shades of grey” was a good book but I will say that because how women reacted to it, burning in their loins for this Alpha style character, it was a glimpse into the heart of women. God designed every animal so that the strong and dominant procreate. It is decided by the females. Everything is out of whack. Don’t be “the nice guy”. Women use “the nice guys” and fantasize about the Alphas. I really don’t care if everyone disagrees, I’m 100% correct about this.

Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

Patriarchy is how God designed the social hierarchy. Therefore we should advocate for and support the patriarchy. The Bible teaches a complementarian worldview. Men and women are equal in personhood, importance, and value, but distinct in authority and role.

Here's a good sermon on Biblical gender roles. Check it out because it properly expounds upon the Biblical counsel concerning this issue.

Patriarchy is how God designed the social hierarchy. Therefore we should advocate for and support the patriarchy. The Bible teaches a complementarian worldview. Men and women are equal in personhood, importance, and value, but distinct in authority and role.

Here's a good sermon on Biblical gender roles. Check it out because it properly expounds upon the Biblical counsel concerning this issue.

Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

God didn't design any "social hierarchy". That's all the doing of humans. He designed a religious hierarchy for Israel, and He designed roles within the church to be filled by His willing servants; male and female.

You clearly have an opinion, otherwise you wouldn't label sexist sermons as "proper", "Biblical" and "good".

I disagree, for good, biblical, and proper reasons.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible.