Broken families, broken kids

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?

Bingo · Nov 4, 2019

"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."

tourist · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

How does one separate God's children from other God's children? Being disruptive, attention seeking, and just plain rude describes most children at one time or another.

Dino246 · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

Perhaps it was not your intention, but your statements (in bold) put the blame solely on the fathers. I'd strongly encourage you to rethink that. It takes two to tango; mothers are often at fault for broken homes. I have more thoughts on the topic, but I don't see any point in shoring up an unbalanced view of the causes.

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

tourist said:

So if they hitting and Yelling and screaming at each other you dont separate them? If they making each other cry you do nothing?

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

Bingo said:

"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."

View attachment 206030

Aw, how did they cope with the other children..? Or were there no other children was it just that child you adopted?

tourist · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

Yeah, give 'em a time-out.

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

tourist said:

Do you say to them go to their room or what. Can you be specific on what you do. It would be helpful.

tourist · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

They could either go to their room if one is available or sit in a corner. Of course, you would separate quarreling children. My understanding of the OP was if you should prohibit contact between the good kids and the bad kids.

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

tourist said:

Ok just wondering what to do in a school envronment thats all. I do tell fighting kids to leave each other alone and chill out. Sometimes requires physical separation. Bit hard when its like 30 kids in one room. But I might try it.

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.

Bingo · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

"Just the one, but after we took him in, he became better adjusted with other children,
plus his own brother and sister. CPS was involved, but we got legal guardianship thru
court."

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

Bingo said:

Did he cope with school or was it just too overwhelming for him?

Bingo · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."

1christian1 · Nov 4, 2019

Dino246 said:

Hey Dino, I happen to be one of those single fathers ( for 10 years )and could'nt be happier. You would'nt believe how many T.V. shows stereotype Fathers in this way. It irks me to no end...

tourist · Nov 4, 2019

Lanolin said:

Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.

The school is fortunate to have you as a librarian.

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

Bingo said:

"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."
View attachment 206046

Thank God for grandparents. Or godparents.

NeverAReality24 · Nov 4, 2019

Praying for all children living without anyone to guide them according to God’s will

Lanolin · Nov 4, 2019

1christian1 said:

Sorry I dont mean to stereotype single parents. Its hard, even if widowed. Singles parents can be single for many reasons but no way does it NOT affect children in ways that are deeper than we might think, and sometimes damage doesnt show till years later.

I am blessed to have relatively intact extended family, and a stable upbringing although there is brokenness with some members on my dads side. But even so rejection and neglect affected ME spiritually. A 2 year old may not remember, but trauma does affect the body when family bonds are broken

1christian1 · Nov 5, 2019

Lanolin said:

You did it again! LOL... Assuming that single fathers are widowed... New series on T.V. " the Unicorn " about a widowed Father. And when you see a single mother it's because the father is a dead beat... It has'nt been easy to say the least but we make it work. I am trying to give her the functional life I never had. She is into theatre, sports and maintains an A average and is a very loving child. I thank God for her everyday...

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