Our Prayers, Part 1 -- How Many Times Should We Ask for Something?

Hi Everyone,

With so many people in dire need right now, this question has really been on my mind.

When we ask God for something, how many times should we ask? For instance, many of us singles continually go to God with the request for a Godly spouse. But is there a point where we should just trust that God has heard our request, and then move on to praying for other things, or the needs of others instead?

Some of the Biblical examples I have been thinking of are:

* The fact that we are TOLD to present our requests to God (Philippians 4:6-7) -- but how many times should we make the same requests?

* We are also told to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) -- but should we always be praying the same prayers? (After all, Jesus Himself tells us not to make our prayers into vain repetitions -- Matthew 6:7.)

* The story of the unjust judge tells us to be persistent (Luke 18: 1-8) -- the woman's request is rewarded because she doesn't give up and keeps asking.

* Likewise, Hannah, the mother of Samuel, prayed so passionately for a son that Eli, the priest, accused her of being drunk (1 Samuel 1:9-28). I'm pretty sure that Hannah had gone several rounds with God about this before as well.

However, what about the flip side?

* When Moses was disobedient to God and pleaded with Him to allow Him to enter the Promised Land, not only did God say no, He even went so far as to say to Moses, "Do not speak to Me again about this matter," (Deuteronomy 3:26.)

* I have always been intrigued by the fact that both Jesus and Paul made their most personal requests to the Lord exactly 3 times before receiving the final answer (Jesus asked for a way other than the cross, but the cross was the way that God had chosen-- Luke 29: 39-46; Paul asked 3 times that "the thorn in his flesh" would be removed, but God told him, "My power is made perfect in weakness" -- 2 Corinthians 12:9.)

These are the questions that I've been asking myself -- what would your answers be?

* How many times should we ask for something -- or should we just keep on asking, unless we're given some kind of absolute?

Lately I have been thinking that maybe I should only ask for something 3 times as Paul and Jesus did, then just trust that God will choose the best answer, no matter how long it may take. The reason I'm asking myself is because:

* How do we know when our prayers have become too selfish, focusing on what WE need or want, when maybe God wants us to focus more on the needs of others?

* Have you ever had a time when you believed God was telling you (like Moses or Paul), that He had already made up His mind, and that He had given you His final answer? Was it the answer you had hope for or not, and what did you do next?

I'll be looking forward to hearing what others have to say about this topic (and yes, in the meantime, I'm going to start working on Part 2.)

I dont ask for spouse and wouldnt assume that all single people ask God for one all the time. The Lords prayer asks for our daily bread and to be delivered from temptation and evil, so I usually pray that one. Oh and for His kingdom to come.

I dont recall Jesus ever asking for a spouse for himself or anyone else either. Not saying you cant ask, but theres probably more pressing issues to pray about,

Vain repetitions comes to mind.
Hannah was praying for a son but she said she would dedicated her child to Gods service and she did. If shes just prayed to one up whats her name I dont think her prayer would have been granted.

Seoul, can I just say thank you for posting more, responding more? I do not mean to put pressure or obligation on you. It is just that you have a way of reaching, touching if you will, with your words.

I just happen to be asking this same question. I know that scripture about the one who kept asking for scraps. But I was wondering if my continued pleading for success in my upcoming 2nd interview, and for other pressing concerns regarding my finances, my future, not to mention my friends and family; was I showing a lack of trust? I know He heard my previous prayers, why am I pleading as though He hadn't? So thank you for your post.

I also appreciate that you brought up the asking for our own needs. We see how job was blessed after praying for others. Of course, our motive should never be...hey, I'll pray for a bleesing for you, so that there is something for me, lol. No no noooooo... but you understand what I am trying to express...what great takeaways that biblical story provides.


I look forward to the responses.

Well, I get what you are saying but I think it perfectly acceptable, even biblically sound, to ask His input in regards to a spouse. I do not think it shameful or selfish to yearn for a spouse. Maybe God Himself put that desire in ones heart.

Jesus did not come to get married, He came to give His life so that those who believe will have life eternal. WOW!!!

I do appreciate that You seem to put Him and His Kingdom first and foremost in your thoughts and prayers.

Looks forward to part 2...just saying...❤😀🥰

I'm going to propose (no, not that kind of proposal) that maybe just maybe prayer isn't primarily about getting what we're asking for. If that's the case then we'd need a different grid to evaluate our prayers by. And I think this really cheesy illustration might help: I want a million dollars (hypothetically but if anyone has a million dollars laying around that they don't know what to do with and wants to just give it to me I won't complain). There's a lot of ways I could go about getting that. I could do something criminal (rob a bank, hold hostages for ransom, embezzle from my company); I could try to get it by gambling; I could try crowdfunding some amazing thing that I don't expect to ever produce; or I could pray and ask God to give it to me. So the choice to pray for something is already a choice to turn toward God and away from evil. But God isn't a vending machine, so if I go to God and ask him for a million dollars, there's no guarantee he'll say yes, but I also expect he wouldn't say no right away instead being the relational type of God who loves us that he is he'll probably start interrogating that desire and I imagine the conversation would go something like this: What do you need $1 million for cinder? So I don't ever have to worry about money again. Why are you worried about money? Because lots of people are loosing their jobs and I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose mine. Who is responsible for providing for you? ..... I think you get the idea. So the point of engaging God in prayer ( other than keeping me from becoming a criminal mastermind) is to deepen the relationship and the trust, not just to make a decision about if I should get what I ask for or not.

And I would say that getting to that point relationally is also part of the purpose of prayer, and some of us are very teachable and it only takes a few times of asking before we get it, and some of us are ultra stubborn and I think it's possible (in light of the stories of Balaam and Hezekiah) that we can pester God so much for something after he's said no, that he says "fine, have it your way" and gives us what we're asking for, knowing that it will blow up in our faces and then reminds us how many times he said no but we persisted asking to the point of demanding because we wouldn't take no for an answer. Personally I'd say go ahead and pour out your heart to God on everything as many times as you want, and trust that he's big enough to make it very clear when he's given his final answer and you need to stop asking.

I say the Lord's prayer each morning before heading out the door for work.

I believe that you're correct about praying for something and God, rather than saying yes or no immediately, starts a conversation about why you prayed for whatever it was in the first place. Fits in nicely with the verse from
Isaiah 10:18-20 - "Come now, and let us reason together..."

When I pray I might as God once in a rare while for personal requests but in the back of my mind I fully want His will to be implemented not mine. When I hear people demand or saying it will be done I cringe. I’m not the boss of God, so I don’t always expect my requests to be fulfilled.

70 x 7 times.

Aaaaaand my music nerd brain cues up:
Knock, knock, knocking
On Heaven's door
Bang
Bang
Bang bang bang
Knock, knock, knocking
On Heaven's door


And again cinder says what I was going to say. Go read her post again and pretend it's my post too.

Very interesting post as always

I would like to contribute to answering your last two questions;


1. How do we know when our prayers have become too selfish, focusing on what WE need or want, when maybe God wants us to focus more on the needs of others?
In my experience and relationship with God, and as I’ve grown in a deeper and more understanding way of how He talks and instructs me - how I pray now has dramatically changed over the years. I use to pray about things that I thought I wanted and needed but now my prayers are Spirit-led by Him, and He gives me what to say and places in my heart of who I need to pray for. At times, I am overwhelmed because He can place the same person or people in my heart numerous times to pray for. I definitely believe He gradually changes and transforms our minds into thinking like that of Christ - to be able to humble ourselves and be a willing servant to others, just as Christ did. Part of this for me was surrendering to Him, including surrendering my mind. By doing this, it allowed me to clear my mind and inject it with the Living Word of God, which in return God would place people, events, or specific things to pray for. I’ve learnt that prayers can never be about myself, unless I am tasked by God to prepare for something He has planned.

2. Have you ever had a time when you believed God was telling you (like Moses or Paul), that He had already made up His mind, and that He had given you His final answer? Was it the answer you had hope for or not, and what did you do next?

Absolutely girl! Lol. I’ve come to know when a yes is a yes and a no is a no. There’s no in between. He’s direct and doesn’t leave me thinking “but what if?” He makes things very clear. Sometimes I’ve prayed and it doesn’t go according to how I think it should play out - I tend to take a step back and ask God for reassurance. He gives that reassurance to me through peace, His peace and generally through His Word ☺️

I know the Bible says to pray without ceasing. I like to throughout the day talk to God to keep Him in my mind. Doing this brings me peace.

This reminds me of the verse “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”. Everyday we should be in prayer with gratitude and Him first on our minds.

I agree with this. She has a warmth in her posts that I believe is a gift from God. CC is blessed to have her here.

I know we need His mercy and grace everyday.

That verse is a favorite of mine and sets the tone for the day.

Thanks very much to the people who are taking the time to reply... It's given me so much to think about -- most especially that prayer is really an exercise for our faith, and not just a way to get what we want.

The last several years my default prayer is to ask God that His will would done in whatever situation I'm asking Him about, and that He would help me accept that, whatever the outcome may be.

Thank you as well for the kind words.

When it comes to posting, I kind of go in phases. The last couple months I've been in a "hunting and gathering" mode where I have cravings for an intake of information rather than much of an output. But when I finally am ready to process what I've been taking in, the most important component for me is to be able to have in-depth but respectful discussions with others -- which is where you all come in -- and for that, I am very grateful to you all.

Whenever this subject crosses my path two passages always cross my mind, the first is Matthew 7 in which the NLT gives the most literal rendering.

Effective Prayer
7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

The other is from Luke 11 which is more than likely a recounting of the same event which also points to persistent prayer

5 Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; 6 a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ 7 And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8 I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity[e] he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.

9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

11 “You fathers—if your children ask[e] for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? 12 Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! 13 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”