Fear of marriage

Yes, I have a slight fear of being in a bad/unhappy marriage. Even in the happy marriages there is some level of compromise both spouses have to make (if one likes to travel, the other doesn't; one wants to have sex a lot; the other doesn't; even daily schedules, etc.). You also have to put up with the mood of the other person.

I think if you find the "right" partner, marriage can be great.

There is a downside to being single too as we have to do everything on our own. But, we also have the freedom to do what we want when we want.

Hi Gods precious people does anyone have a fear of marriage..or any anxious thoughts associated with marriage life?
I have thought about this the other day and there are certainly big lifestyle changes that happen when you're married.
Examples..
You are no longer living on your own.So the independence you once had is no longer there..when married you have to share every day life with some else regardless of your temperament.Also things you did domestically when single now may come into more scrunity.

When single you had a nice spacious bed to sleep in to lay down in and roll about ect..when married you have half the space you once had...do you snore?Constantly fidget in bed till you fall asleep?
Such things could disrupt the sleeping patterns of your spouse..
Those are just a few examples..
What are your thoughts?

Great post, thank you for sharing!

I've known a lot of married people, and I can only speak from my own observations, but a good number of them weren't/aren't happy. They may have started out as enjoying each other's company, but as time and life went on, things like boredom, overwhelming challenges (parenting), dissatisfaction, and temptations they never anticipated took hold. Some of these marriages carried on (but that didn't mean that the problems ceased -- they were just merely tolerated), while many others dissolved.

Again, this is just me, but these days I'd be a lot more concerned about anyone who claimed they DON'T have any fears over marriage than anyone who is honest enough to say that they DO.

"Only a fool has no fear."
- Worf (and he of all people should know.)

you just split the room in half and have all your things on one side and all his/her things on the other.
snoring you cant do much about. I think snoring could break up a marriage I would find it so annoying not to be able to sleep at night.

You need to be the type of person who can put up with someone elses mess/compulsive tidiness/nits/viruses/babies vomits/poos/bodily discharges/random opinions/laughing at stuff that makes no sense. I mean REALLY.

wow! I have never married, no kids, a few medium term relationships, and this is a topic I have been talking to the lord about for sometime. I even purchased a single bed, to symbolise my intentions ! However, I do feel there is someone set aside for me, but she isn't ready yet. Anyway, I too have embraced the single life, and couldn't be happier. The idea that I have to make compromises, change my way of life, actually make conversations with someone is not something I am really looking forward to. I have no friends, discarded my family sometime ago, and like nothing better than sitting here , drinking coffee in front of the computer without any physical interaction at all with people. It is pure bliss!

Wow back to you sir.I found your comments most intresting and yes I get the strong sense that your happy with your own company in lots of ways.If you did meet someone though how would you manage with the interaction as you are used to not having much of it?..it might just do your head in.👍😊

I think for me I’m not even thinking of marriage or having children, but I want to find the right man as a friend to hopefully marry one day, my cousin finally got married, and him and his girlfriend had been dating for 6 years.

Overall though, I think if I had to pick what would worry me the most, is if the man I marry doesn’t like my opinions and my behavior. I will admit, when I’m sick I can be gross, like spitting out mucus if I’m suffering from allergies/cold. But they might do gross stuff so who knows, I’m just trying to focus on how good I actually have it and let God guide me.

I was praying about this issue just last night. Even made up a story to share with God, to demonstrate it! I am blessed I must say, I am retired relatively early, have savings in the bank, no debts, a very good landlord etc, So the idea of removing myself from all of that and starting over is rather intimidating and I wonder if would even be worth it

Overall though, I think if I had to pick what would worry me the most, is if the man I marry doesn’t like my opinions and my behavior. I will admit, when I’m sick I can be gross, like spitting out mucus if I’m suffering from allergies/cold. But they might do gross stuff so who knows, I’m just trying to focus on how good I actually have it and let God guide me.

I think that part about mucus is kind of universal. You have to either spit it out or swallow it, and if you swallow too much it can make you sick.

I will speak from my heart. I am no longer married but I think that marriage can be a beautiful thing. Marriage by itself is not good or bad on its own. It depends what both people bring to the relationship. It is like friendships. You can be terribly hurt, grow apart or find that friend who helps you see the beauty in yourself that you've never seen or forgotten.
The difficulty is that a marriage is a union of two flawed people. There are no other options. If both of you are sincere in wanting to grow in Christ, if you want the happiness of the other person, if you are kind, gentle, honest, faithful, hopeful, living the fruit of the spirit, it can be phenomenal. One of the keys is each person's ability to forgive, because there are times when we will disappoint each other. We will not always be at our best or meet the other person's expectation. There will be pain. There will be crisis. Why do it? Because it is amazing to know that to someone else, you are the sun, moon and stars. It is wonderful to know that you have a hand to hold to face the world, to know that that person wants to cheer your victories and hold you in the dark times. It is great to explore the world together and to share it all. It feels great to have someone who knows what makes you laugh, what will encourage you and help you to reflect.
One of the hard parts of marriage is that it holds a mirror up to you when you least expect or want it. That is also one of the most valuable things. It is how we grow. When it is done with love, it makes you a better person. We need the encouragement, support, challenge and responsibility. We need lives that are not all about our own wants. We need to learn to give and compromise. A life with sacrifice grows us as Christians. It can't be a power play. Love, pray,forgive, grow, laugh and love some more. Marriage can be a beautiful things if it is a commitment to do the hard and precious work of love.