Homosexual Brother In Law

I don't think you need a big theological course on this.
What do you want for your child or children?
The Bible demands that children honour their parents.
Would you feel honoured if your son came home with Larry
Or Steve?

I understand. And I absolutely would not feel honored at all in that situation. What concerns me is that the decision I’m to make about this will likely, almost definitely change the course of my families attitude towards me and likely not for the better. Up till recently I’ve treated homosexuals including this broth in law with passivity and neutrality but this time it feels different and am feeling pulled to take a stand where in the past I’ve been passive about it. I feel like I identify with the apprehensions that Gideon had and I’m not sure how to get past that.

I regret your post has been so badly misunderstood and vilified. You are absolutely correct, those with attractions to their same sex should indeed be celibate and chaste.

There is just so much bias in the "Christian" community. (Maybe I can share a little of the venom).

I can imagine the enormous stress you are under.

Personally I don't like the idea of being unequally yoked.
If the brain doesn't really match up to the wholesome exterior,
what are you going to do?

I personally would have no qualms emigrating to somewhere like the Phillipines with my son,
and finding a nice God-fearing proper family-oriented woman.

I understand. And I absolutely would not feel honored at all in that situation. What concerns me is that the decision I’m to make about this will likely, almost definitely change the course of my families attitude towards me and likely not for the better. Up till recently I’ve treated homosexuals including this broth in law with passivity and neutrality but this time it feels different and am feeling pulled to take a stand where in the past I’ve been passive about it. I feel like I identify with the apprehensions that Gideon had and I’m not sure how to get past that.

When I stood for the word of God it was seen as unloving and judgemental by those who are not godly even if they are my family.

it is they who will have to explain to God how God was wrong in HIS assessment of what is to be joined together. You making a stand for God is the best thing you can do for your Family because God will hold you responsible for not shining your light.

Really?

That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.

1) You don't know what you're going up against

2) Who says that this gay couple wants salvation?

3) All you will achieve is chaos and it certainly won't bring any glory to God.

It’s probably going to add stress to an already weak marriage of mine cause my wife believes she needs to be there for her brother. This isn’t the first issue we have had regarding the Homosexual brother in law.

I’ve been praying (a lot) that it doesn’t come to that. But it has been and is a fear of mine that I may be unequally yoked. that is what I most fear may come to pass. Her parents were initially against it when he first came out but have since came came to acceptance of the brother in laws homosexually as is the rest of her family. the reception I’m sure will be sponsored by their mother . My wife leans on her mother for a lot of advice and support in different situations. My wife and her mother are very close and usually when a situation arises where my wife cannot make a decision it’s her mothers influence that is the tiebreaker. If I were to look at this without faith in God the writing is on the wall about it being a likely marriage ender for us. That is my true fear I suppose, and why I’m here to really carefully weigh and seek what God would have me do.

Wow!
Somebody just doesn't "get it"...

If I may say, your wife’s actions (and/or lack thereof) concern me. The Bible says that a person leaves their mother and father to be one with their spouse. Their obligation now is to their immediate family, formed with that person, and not their relatives. She feels the need to “be there for her brother” while ignoring her need to stand by your side (as her husband) and ignoring your son’s well being (not being desensitized to what is sin and it being celebrated).

Is your wife a Christian? It doesn’t seem like she is having this internal dialogue that you’re having. She is more concerned with her family’s perception of her than all else. Also the relationship between your wife and her mother sounds like the mother isn’t letting the bird out of the nest. Usually this leads to a mother enabling the child; instead of growing they offer the child a safe haven (“you can always come back”). She should be able to discuss things with her husband (you need to be reasonable) and not rely on her mother as… like a suckling pig.

I hope I haven’t spoken out of turn, and you will find what I have said spot on to what you’re experiencing.

nope no worries. I’m open to answering that the best I can cause I’ve got to find peace with this somehow . It’s kind of an odd situation. When we first started dating she was the one to step forward and ask if I was a Christian. I said yes. Granted at that point i think we both were at best very weak and naive in the faith but it was there. If you asked her straight up today she will say yes. We attend a Berean church service on Sundays. She has her own little bible study group she started. She has her “faith box” thing that shows up in the mail.Though I’ve never seen her pick up her bible an actually read a scripture outside church service. Doesn’t mean she hasn’t I suppose , I’ve just never observed her randomly crack open her bible on a normal evening and start reading. For a time I didn’t either but now I look forward to it when I get a chance.

Yeah, just making observations. Have you discussed this with her?

not yet. I’m seeking wisdom before I do so I can address it logically with biblical reasoning and to be firm yet understanding. Honestly She gets a might bit defensive when conversations get serious and tends to over react emotionally at even the slightest bit of confrontation and I want to approach this at an angle to minimize all that. Hate walking on eggshells but Been down the direct approach road before on other issues and those conversations have quickly ruined weeks of peace for the entire family and we didn’t get anywhere. I’m evidently not very skilled at controlling my tone of voice which put her immediately on the defensive and she shuts down. Last time it was a simple question about her blood pressure medicine so I’m seeking to tread lightly into this as possible even though confrontation is inevitable with this. I still want her to listen. Cause when she gets that way you can’t logically have a serious conversation period and you have one shot to converse about it.

Scripture says for a woman to submit to her husband but that word submit means “to be gently persuaded.” Emphasis on persuaded. Make your case but keep in mind that your words should be filled with grace. How you say something is equally important as what you’re saying because it determines how it is received. Very much like correction, if said too harshly it can harden a person. Have you ever seen a street preacher insulting pedestrians? The Gospel is good, their delivery is not.

I think it will be important for you to express your understanding of the situation it puts her and you in. Together. You don’t want to negatively impact your relationship with her family. Relate to that concern, as it is very real. “I know this puts us in a predicament…” Tell her why you feel that you guys cannot compromise on this issue. And I don’t mean to feign sympathy, but be genuine in what you’re saying and realistic in the consequences of you two, together, making this decision (of not attending).

Now, if you have compromised in other areas, be forewarned, this may be a hard sell. Lol “But husband, you go and get drunk with the guys at the pub!” You can’t be selective in your ideals and expect to have any weight in your opinion. This is why you need to be consistent in your walk.

Definitely aim for peace, and ask her to check her own heart if she truly believes it is right, in accordance with her beliefs. If need be, suggest that she ask her Bible study group for what to do in this situation so her sisters in Christ can encourage her in making a good decision. You don’t have to be the only voice of reason.

I can't tell if you're being incredibly naive or defiant here.

Lol 😂. How about no…. Ive already got enough trouble trying to get right with this this situation. Dude ya have jokes I’ll give ya that. Thanks for the laugh

not yet. I’m seeking wisdom before I do so I can address it logically with biblical reasoning and to be firm yet understanding. Honestly She gets a might bit defensive when conversations get serious and tends to over react emotionally at even the slightest bit of confrontation and I want to approach this at an angle to minimize all that. Hate walking on eggshells but Been down the direct approach road before on other issues and those conversations have quickly ruined weeks of peace for the entire family and we didn’t get anywhere. I’m evidently not very skilled at controlling my tone of voice which put her immediately on the defensive and she shuts down. Last time it was a simple question about her blood pressure medicine so I’m seeking to tread lightly into this as possible even though confrontation is inevitable with this. I still want her to listen. Cause when she gets that way you can’t logically have a serious conversation period and you have one shot to converse about it.

You really have your hands full Tst. The situation is pretty complicated isn't it?

Firstly if your wife has high blood pressure and she is taking medication, you have a whole
background situation. I personally would not accept my wife taking medication as I would view our bodies as one body.
[I don't want to absorb that stuff through contact, kissing, etc ] Personally just taking the most innocuous medication, e.g. a muscle relaxant for a bad back, turns my brain to mush. So she is stressed and easily-triggered, and she may have cognitive issues as well now.

Ultimately there are two marriages being discussed here. I think I know which one I would be interested in, if i was in your shoes. I think you need to find a good pastor, and work through all this stuff. I don't think it is going away. Your wife is making her own rules, in a way behind your back, (church, mother, etc) and you simply need to take action. Otherwise you will just forever be a third party.