Let the pun wars begin

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mustaphadrink

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
#821
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
372
83
#821
This being Easter sunday, we will ask Mrs lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
 
mustaphadrink

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
#822
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
372
83
#822
At the evening service tonight the topic is "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
 
mustaphadrink

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
#823
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
372
83
#823
The Assoiciate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up yours."
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#824
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#824
Evidence has it... William Tell was an avid bowler, oh! yes...

Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire...

Thus, we shall never know for whom the Tell bowled! 😄
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#825
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#825
What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line. 😀
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#826
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#826
A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.

So, he went to a marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.

"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.". 😉
 
mustaphadrink

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
#827
Dec 13, 2013
1,987
372
83
#827
As far as I can see, there are a lot of things we need to know that are pundamental.
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#828
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#828
Bread is like the sun...

It raises in he yeast

and sets in the waist! 😄



 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#829
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#829
Why did the butterfly not go to the dance? 🤔

Because, it was a moth ball! 😉
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#830
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#830
Jase said:
Evidence has it... William Tell was an avid bowler, oh! yes...

Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire...

Thus, we shall never know for whom the Tell bowled! 😄
Click to expand...
...it bowled for thee.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#831
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#831
Jase said:
A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.

So, he went to a marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.

"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.". 😉
Click to expand...
That would be a conundrum for sure. :)
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#832
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#832
How do you make a duck a soul singer ? 🤔

Hold it under water till it's bill withers. 😉




 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#833
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#833
A student made a model of Mount Everest for his school project.

When asked.."Is it to scale?"

He said, "Don't be absurd..It's just to look at!". 😉
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#834
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#834
Why did the spider cross the road? 🤔

To look for another "web site"! 😀
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#835
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#835
Did you hear about the Dutch painter that swapped his Cabrilet Smart car for a GMC Savana 2500..to better haul his supplies.

Everyone in town said, "Look at Vincent's van go!"
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#836
Aug 13, 2014
27,410
9,398
113
#836
I think I drove that van in Gran Turismo 2. It couldn't beat every race, but it was pretty fast for a van. 1,077 horsepower.
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#837
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#837
One day a broccolli🥦 and a carrot🥕, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.

A farm truck🚜 whipped by and struck the carrot.

The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.

Rushed to the hospital🚑 and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.

He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".

The good news is your friend is going to pull through.

" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life" 🤔
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#838
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#838
No matter how much you push the envelope...

It'll still be stationery! 😉
 
J

Jase

Well-known member
#839
Jun 9, 2021
775
445
63
#839
Why don't 🐒 monkies play poker in the jungle?

Too many chee-tahs! 😀
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#840
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#840
Jase said:
One day a broccolli🥦 and a carrot🥕, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.

A farm truck🚜 whipped by and struck the carrot.

The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.

Rushed to the hospital🚑 and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.

He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".

The good news is your friend is going to pull through.

" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life" 🤔
Click to expand...
The broccoli was green with envy.
 
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