What Do You Do When You Start to Become the Very Thing You Said You Would Never Be?

Sometimes it's a good thing. It means you have grown.

Hey Everyone,

I was talking to someone a few weeks ago who grew up in a very controlling, rule-by-the-fist kind of home, and the person I was talking to had observed that some of the children produced from this marriage became exactly like the controlling parents they claimed they never wanted to be like, while others vowed never to be like this and worked at being as compassionate and understanding as possible.

A few days ago I was out and about observing situations around me, when I suddenly realized that my internal thoughts regarding a certain circumstance was the exact same reaction as X would have had (family member I love dearly but do not want to be like in this area.)

It was a bit of a shock to me, as I thought I'd worked very hard not to think like that, but it was a good personal wake-up call and reminder that God still has a lot of work to do in me.

How about yourself?

* Have you ever caught yourself thinking like someone you said you would never be like?

* What steps have/do you take in order to change your thinking and/or behavior?

* Do you have others in your family who became what they said they hated in other people? Do you confront them about this, and what are the results?

I am really interested in hearing people's stories because I was thankful for the reminder that even when we think we have something under control -- it has a tendency to rear its ugly head at any given time.

I'm looking forward to hearing how others have and are dealing with this -- thank you for sharing!

Hmm... The only thing I said I would never do, I have never done.

My mother is always losing her keys/wallet/purse/everything. It takes her forever to get out the door because she has to find everything before she leaves.

I made up my mind long ago that would not happen constantly with me. My pocket stuff is always in my pockets or in a specified place in the house. I never have to look for it. All my stuff is ALWAYS in one of those two places.

On the downside, in the times when I have lost my keys (I'm averaging once every three years, believe it or else) I have no list of probable places they might be. They are always either in my pocket or in that place, so I'm a fish out of water trying to find them. Uh... Uh... Uh... What do I do now?

seoulsearch I know that's not exactly what you meant with this thread, but it's as close as I can get.

Interesting, how did you solve the problem? Goader? Do we have minfulzenophobism? Two quick replies to me in 5 minutes, I small rentfree space in your head, that is not goog.

This is a great point, Desdi.

In my own example, I found myself being very critical (in my head) of complete strangers I knew nothing about, and had no idea what their circumstances might be.

Hmm... The only thing I said I would never do, I have never done.

My mother is always losing her keys/wallet/purse/everything. It takes her forever to get out the door because she has to find everything before she leaves.

I made up my mind long ago that would not happen constantly with me. My pocket stuff is always in my pockets or in a specified place in the house. I never have to look for it. All my stuff is ALWAYS in one of those two places.

On the downside, in the times when I have lost my keys (I'm averaging once every three years, believe it or else) I have no list of probable places they might be. They are always either in my pocket or in that place, so I'm a fish out of water trying to find them. Uh... Uh... Uh... What do I do now?

seoulsearch I know that's not exactly what you meant with this thread, but it's as close as I can get.

Hey Everyone,

I was talking to someone a few weeks ago who grew up in a very controlling, rule-by-the-fist kind of home, and the person I was talking to had observed that some of the children produced from this marriage became exactly like the controlling parents they claimed they never wanted to be like, while others vowed never to be like this and worked at being as compassionate and understanding as possible.

A few days ago I was out and about observing situations around me, when I suddenly realized that my internal thoughts regarding a certain circumstance was the exact same reaction as X would have had (family member I love dearly but do not want to be like in this area.)

It was a bit of a shock to me, as I thought I'd worked very hard not to think like that, but it was a good personal wake-up call and reminder that God still has a lot of work to do in me.

How about yourself?

* Have you ever caught yourself thinking like someone you said you would never be like?

* What steps have/do you take in order to change your thinking and/or behavior?

* Do you have others in your family who became what they said they hated in other people? Do you confront them about this, and what are the results?

I am really interested in hearing people's stories because I was thankful for the reminder that even when we think we have something under control -- it has a tendency to rear its ugly head at any given time.

I'm looking forward to hearing how others have and are dealing with this -- thank you for sharing!

@seoulsearch where do u get such deep questions?
They have me thinking for hours after reading

People have always told me that I think too much. Remember when the saying K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) was really popular? People used to tell me that a lot.

You can see what I did, though -- I never let go of my way of questioning, so I just held it in... and then I found this forum.

Hi Matthew,

I've been like this since I was a kid. Pity my poor parents, teachers, and pastors.

My Mom still remembers when I was about 5 and I asked her if heaven was like waiting in line for Santa Claus at the mall -- I wanted to know if we all stood in line and if we each got a turn to sit on God's lap so that we could ask Him every question we ever had.

People have always told me that I think too much. Remember when the saying K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) was really popular? People used to tell me that a lot.

You can see what I did, though -- I never let go of my way of questioning, so I just held it in... and then I found this forum.

So now I write things down in a notebook and start a few threads here and there when I have time, because I like discussions and I see them as a way of helping people get to know each other.

Every idea I have is from something I've read, observed, or talked to someone else about.

Thank you so much for dropping by!

It just depends on the situation. It can be a good thing or a bad thing, as was already pointed out. It's like when a kid thinks his parents are great because they let him eat all the candy he wants, while the other kid thinks his parents are bad because they don't. When they grow up, they eventually learn the truth. I think the trick is to just not be radical, but then again I'm not a parent lol Thats just my 2 cents.