Why this forum

Browsing through the many topics in this forum , one soon realises that there are very few threads that are specifically for Single people . The threads could quite happily reside in the many other topic areas

So why do we have this place ? What is the benefit of a singles forum topic if the threads are possibly more suitable to other forum areas

Just an observation , not stating anything needs changing

Hi Robertt,

I think the Singles Forum has changed over time.

I started here in 2009, and I mention that only as a reference point to the changes that seem to have happened over time. Back then, the Singles crowd seemed to mostly be people in their 20's and 30's who were, of course, actively looking for a spouse and to start (or add to, if they were divorced or widowed) families.

It also used to be that the majority of people who posted in Singles were also single, so many of conversations were how to date and find a Godly spouse. These days, the Singles Forum has become more of a generic place to hang out and chat. Back in the day, the site used to be much busier, with a variety of respective conversations going on in each category.

As new competition has sprung up continuously over the years (with so many other sites and apps to choose from,) this site has slowed down considerably and so people are generally just looking for the latest and/or more headline-grabbing topic, no matter what forum it might be in. Apparently, the system also alerts people to to the newest threads and posts, and many will click on whatever sounds interesting without knowing it's in Singles, so we now have several regular married friends here who post right along with us.

The core crowd here is now older (I'm guessing primarily mid-30's - 50 and up,) so I think some of the focus has also changed and shifted away from just finding a partner or things exclusive to single life.

I tend to post all my topics here in Singles and these days, regardless of where they might officially "fit" just because this is the part of the forum I'm most used to. And because we have so many married regulars here, it's really just become kind of a default place to go.

I do feel as if Singles has become a bit of a divide though. Back when I first started, there was a common feeling of, "Time is running out! I just HAVE to find someone as soon as possible!" which I think most singles can sympathize with, since we were all young adults once. I felt that way myself when I first came here, too.

But I think we have a good number of singles here now who are not primarily focused on finding a spouse, but rather on living out God's will in their life the best they can, even if they remain single. This is now true of myself as well. When I first came to singles, I felt like I had very limited time to find someone or it would be "too late", but meeting others here who are content with their single lives has really helped me adjust and calm a bit of my anxiety.

I'm not saying this is for everyone of course, as God calls us all to different things. In fact, I think there's almost a Catch 22 here in Singles now, with one group not really caring or wanting to talk about relationship issues, and another that does, with clashes rising up between the two over which one is better. But there's nothing wrong with either group, and we all have to act according to God's will for our lives. Hopefully, we can all find a way to support one another, even if our walks are very different.

I think the other reason that the topics here in Singles may seem more "generic" is because being single isn't a life category that can be stuffed into one specific compartment. All singles have family issues, but we might talk about it here instead of the Family Forum because we're talking about how we deal with our family problems as singles without partners.

Single people still want to talk about topics that interest them (and we all know that not having someone to talk to is one of the hardest parts about being single,) so many of us will bring up whatever is on our minds here in Singles (rather than Family or Miscellaneous) because we are sharing things from our single point of view.

We also often have interesting side comment in the threads that would make very engaging topics of their own. I often wish people would feel brave enough to start their own threads about their own interests, because it would really enrich the forum.

No matter what parts of the forum you choose to spend your time in, I hope you'll find this place to be a blessing!

Whenever you have topics about single life you'd like to discuss, please feel free to post/start threads about them.

I would have said something here but she already took everything I was going to say.

Oh well. At least it wasn't cinder this time.

What's the matter, Lynx?

Cat got your tongue?

Er, I mean...

that was a long reply lol seems many here type lots and think about what they typing before moving fingers. then probably double check it before hitting submit.

So i apologise in advance, that is not me. i will move fingers before brain engaged. so lots of typos. lots of grammatical errors.

I will get judged by some as lower interlect as i make mistakes etc etc. but all good

I am here as i am single. and i am looking for a christian friend.
So i guess i will need to find another site. as you say most here now just not looking and most likely not looking for someone like me
God bless you all.

I will attempt to spend less time posting.

most people on forums take time to right good stuff.
not me still spell liek a 3rd grader.

This is primarily a place to hang out and chat, not a place to find a date.

However... I have seen people find a match here. But they did it by posting on threads here and there and just happening to meet somebody who liked the way they thought.

Posting less here is directly counterproductive to your goal. You should be posting more. Lots more.

? why not

if you dont like being single, why are you even here lol

I suggested to change it to Friends forum, but, as per usual any suggestions for change to any names fell like a lead balloon

I do recommend the Bible Discussion Forum, for discussions about Bibles. You might find a Bible you like.

Typos are just lazy nothing to do with intelligence

I joined as member for the cc app , not to post on forums . So most of my time is spent there
Recently not as many people on the chat app . So I spent more time here

As an Asperger’s syndrome person . Socialising is nit my strong point

So I will just pray that God lays thoughts of me on the heart of the one he has plans for . If he doesn’t have to plans then I out of luck
Life is good for those with the gift of socialising who understand the process
I will attempt to improve but sadly been doing this for all my life

I am here as I didn’t realise so many singles are happy to be single. Each to their own.
I know of no where else to find like minded singles
As for bible forum , I did look but it ful of arguments back and forth . That is not fir me . Some enjoy the opposing debating . I don’t . Again each to their own

well, if you go to the suggestions forum and ask for a
'each to their own' forum they might make one

But, most likely not, because its too much admin to create another one.

but yea, lots of singles like being single

Thats why they are single!

Maybe try the 'family' forum, if you'd rather not be single.

I am actually in the middle of reading a book about autism. I even posted a thread on it. I found out that, Hans Aspergers had a different conception of autism to Kanner, and it seems that the current label for it is autism spectrum disorder has dropped the 'Aspergers syndrome' label. So that makes it more confusing. Is it autism or not?

I think that much of socialising can be a learned behaviour it isnt always innate, especially for people more internally wired than externally (the old introvert/extrovert personality types again) but that doesnt mean that you cant learn it, it just wont come naturally to you thats all.

anyone with communication difficulties has just got to find an effective way to communicate, and not everyone will have the 'gift of the gab' actually, most communication is actually non-verbal anyway. So not seeing why it should be a big deal but this is where learning to express your feelings can help, whether througn art, music, poetry, creating whatever. A lot of people just dont have the vocab for it.

This is why in school the teachers have to teach what emotions are and name them! and toddlers need sensory stimulation cos that is how they first learn..through touch

I am finding it quite fascinating actually

I agree. The best way to allow others to know who you are and what you are about is to become a regular frequent contributor.

Sorry , not sure if it the intent , but I feel you saying it all my fault , my lack of choices . Sorry if I read it wrong , 56 yrs I lived with this . I attempt every day to learn . But my mental calculations do not process it . It not only doesn’t come natural , it doesn’t make sense

I not sure how joining a family forum means I can find another single . It makes sense to you , not to me .

I am sorry my posts have seem to offended and you repeat back to me my words like each to their own , those words mean a lot to me . It how I feel comfortable in world thinking we all different and it ok to be different , each person doing the best they can in their own ways
i

I keep trying . But I wish people would see who I am behind the words I write , the real me . Not the perceptions of me

I pray and I hope

Well... yeah, no, you don't HAVE to make posts. You don't have to say anything at all in the forum.

I'm just saying that those who do talk a lot here seem to have better luck finding somebody.

And yeah, the bible discussion forum is a conversational wrestling arena. Best to avoid that.

I persist in my attempts .

I dont find anything you said offensive, just trying to understand you
I think theres room for BOTH on singles forum honestly, some things are not either/or.

some threads are 'I want to find someone to get hitched to" its mostly obvious which ones they are because they will be very upfront about it, or trying to navigate old and new relationships

and others are just singles being friendly...unconditionally and more about fellowship/friendship than relationship, although christians actually ARE ALREADY in spiritual relationships with each other...as brothers and sisters. I personally find these threads more interesting than the others because singles that start the other 'looking for someone to get hitched' threads are only looking for a certain kind of person and they kind of want them to fit a certain criteria it seems to me.

eg female must have long hair and do housework like sweep floor with it.

I sometimes come across this in my job

Oh no my book spans two different genres, which one do I put it in? Fantasy and Horror
Well I either have to choose one or make a new category --I could call it...Hantasy

Or, I could buy two copies of the same title and put one in each....!

What any man wants in a women is very different for all men I find . And it isn’t always the same even in the same man
I have dated tall short thin curvey short hair long hair , sadly prior to coming here all I have dated are no Christian’s . So my number one requirement is she is like minded