Funny And Clever Answers to Being Asked, "Why Are You Still Single?" -- What Are YOURS?

Hey Everyone,

I admit to cheating a bit on this one -- I actually Googled this topic.

Here are some of my favorite answers on the list of funny answers to being asked, "Why Are You Still Single?"

* I'm too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.

* Who told you I'm single -- the government, or the police?!

* I'm single because my milkshake doesn't bring all the boys to the yard (bonus points if you can sing it to the tune of the song!)

* I just haven't met the right one yet. Somewhere out there, my soulmate is "Pushing" on a door that says "Pull" right now.

* The Billboard Charts got it wrong -- the hottest single of the year is me! (Does anyone still pay attention to the Billboard Hot 100 music charts anymore?!)


Now, these are just a few reasons I found on the internet. I'm sure many of you out there have dozens more.

For instance:

* I'm single because my cat/dog won't share their side of the bed.

* I'm single because I like pineapple on my pizza.

* I'm single because I spend my Saturday nights answering posts on the CC Singles Forum!

How about all of you? Tell us the funniest reasons why YOU are single!

And our married friends are welcome to tell us funny excuses they used when they were single, or tell us about the ones other singles (perhaps their kids or grandkids) they know use.

If we're going to be single, we might as well have a good laugh along the way!

i'm not quite applicable, but i wanted to point out that google couldhave told me. since they seem to know everything.

if i was applicable, it would be bc i am too afraid of my past being problems.

lol

I'm single because I spend my weekends working on my chat pop-ups.

If you don't know what that means, congratulations. You're not an old nerd like me. Pop-ups were long strings of text, usually with color coding, that were saved in your chat client script for later recall with a short command. Something like, "Lynx throws confetti all over the room" with the word confetti having each letter a different color. That would take a lot of painstaking effort to type out each time, using a different color code for every letter in the word confetti, but you could type it out one time and save it as a pop-up to be recalled with a short command like "/confet."

So yeah, I'm single because I spend my weekends working on my pop-ups.

I'm about to go out for a spin on my bike. I could say I'm still single because girls can't catch me.

I'm older and sour. 😀

Because I ask for bad advice from people on forum boards

I'm single because I work at McDonald's. My low-fat, artificially flavored milkshake don't bring nothing to the yard. Even dogs and cats don't want it.

Maybe it's because your milkshake is like McDonald's ice cream machines -- always on standby, but never assembled.

You could always give them the obvious answer: “Because I’m not married.”

Or perhaps, “I haven’t found anyone as amazing as me”… delivered with a hearty smile.

Of course, if your secret crush asks, then the answer is, “Because you haven’t asked me!”

Because someone needs to take care of the animals.

I usually just say, I haven't found someone.

I was laughing at that "older and sour" comment 🤣🤣🤣

Yes, and when they ask, "How many animals do you have?", just smile and show them a picture something like this :

Looks like a pocket-sized version of this might also come in handy (choose one from each row, and you have an official excuse to get out of the whole conversation!)

It's not funny, but I'm single after 56 years of marriage to my dear wife, who died in 2020, because God has given me his gift of singleness, according to Paul (1 Corinthians 7) and Jesus.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I hope you're finding fellowship and fulfillment on this site -- thank you for stopping in and joining us. ❤️🙏

I use Allot of vinegar in my cooking! Do you like vinegar?

What do you mean, why am I single?...

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...

Oh no. Did she figure out how to get out of the basement again?!

Lynx,
I take it your an Alice Cooper fan? Should I turn you in as Person of interest too?

I'm single because I'm a slice of cheese.