Age?
- Thread starter Sunshine2026
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If love is there and God sees fit. I had a wife who died last year that was older than me and were married for 36 wonderfully years. Biblically, spiritually and we loved each dearly. Marriage under God is different that marriage of convenience. I wouldn't judge before I knew.
Thank you so much, @tourist.
We are grateful you've stuck with us over the years, and graciously shared your life experiences and wisdom.
I am 71 years old. My first marriage was horrible and ended in divorce after 6 1/2 years. I8 year gap between my first and second marriage. Sadly, my late second wife passed away prematurely at age of 59. That marriage lasted 11 years 2 months. 9 months later married my 3rd (and last wife). I met her on this site. We will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary in November.
I most certainly do understand love and what a Godly marriage should be as I have lived it and continue to do so.
So, tell me, what experience do you have that has expanded your idea of what love is and what exactly is your experience in regard to actually being married, with possibly children?
Thank you very much for sharing with us, and I am very sorry for your loss.
I wish this was talked about more often in Christian circles.
Many of the people I'm around have/are losing spouses, and no one in church ever teaches others how to get through this part of the Christian walk -- at least, not in the circles I've been in.
The singles I'm around now aren't young people fresh out of the gate -- they're middle aged to being on the verge of God calling them home, with a completely different set of issues and challenges.
People talk all the time about how to find a spouse, how wonderful their marriage is or was, and have plenty of advice for us singles -- but I'd rather hear their wisdom and experiences about the day that will come that we all dread -- when God starts to take away "the delight of your eyes" -- whether they still know you or not, and whether it's in an instant, or over many years, because that's what I'm encountering a lot more of these days.
I don't think the Bible gives a specific number of years that is acceptable or unacceptable. What matters more is that both people are mature, the relationship is loving and respectful and both are freely choosing it.
A large age gap doesn't automatically make a relationship unhealthy and a small age gap doesn't automatically make it healthy. Character, faith, honesty and mutual respect matter far more than the number itself.
That said, I think wisdom is important. If one person is much younger or in a very different stage of life, there can be a significant imbalance in experience or influence that should be considered carefully.
Thank you for your most gracious response to @MessengerT. I sincerely appreciate what you wrote. God Bless You.
I have read some of your posts in which you have talked about kissing your second wife goodbye before God took her -- and it leaves me in tears every time.
When people shell out advice to us singles, I wish they would tell us about these times in their own lives, of how heart-breaking even the most loving Christian marriage might be.
Blessings to you.
How much older?
It is common to be 2 to 5 years older. But if married young, more gap is possible.
Depends on marriage age.
You did in fact judge me before you knew but that's OK. God did indeed bless you for 36 wonderful years of marriage. As you already know, the best marriage is the one that God is in the center of.
Ok am glad all that Biblical misinterpretation was cleared up, basically, there being little instruction regarding age gap in the Bible, other than being of age. There were actually MANY marriages of convenience in the Bible. Ruth and Boaz anyone? Also Ruth didn't want to leave her mother-in-law. She clung to her. They had just survived a famine!
Note that..Naomi thought she was too old to be married again, she'd already had her children.
Concubines were often younger, but that's another story. And being barren is another.
In the new Testament, it actually says we are not called to bondage. God has called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15
The most important thing, is both spouses be believers, that's all that matters.
Note that..Naomi thought she was too old to be married again, she'd already had her children.
Concubines were often younger, but that's another story. And being barren is another.
In the new Testament, it actually says we are not called to bondage. God has called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15
The most important thing, is both spouses be believers, that's all that matters.
When people are young, new believers, their faith might not be strong enough, to limit dating believers.
Also as young believers, some later on fell out of faith too.
In a way it is a gamble.
For older long time believers, who been through trial and error and discipline from God, it is bit easier to keep the faith.
Well true
my church friend told me her sons marriage broken up, they been together 10 years, I attended their wedding. They were young, and new believers, had met at a church uni fellowship, married in church...and still didn't work out.
They don't have children, she wasn't in good health (suffering depression or mental issues) and after they got married never really worked a day in her life. AFAIK
I don't think they ever dated anyone else before they got married so it was sort of a first date to marriage kind of thing. I really thought they were too young, they'd barely graduated.
I mean..he wasn't new he'd been raised and brought up christian...she was sort of new.
So maybe depends on how long you been a Christian for as well. If you both new, or you both raised christian then its kind of compatible. But if one is raised, and the other comes to Christ just because they met you...thats not maturing in your faith together. The new believer has to learn everything. The raised one is used to living a christian life.
So maybe depends on how long you been a Christian for as well. If you both new, or you both raised christian then its kind of compatible. But if one is raised, and the other comes to Christ just because they met you...thats not maturing in your faith together. The new believer has to learn everything. The raised one is used to living a christian life.
People want a happy marriage. But God want us to live a Holy life.
Marriage can only be broken if spouse abandonment, marries someone else.
Not working out is not a biblical reason.
So maybe check out each others testimonies first.
Who's church you going to marry in as well? Where you going to raise your children if your beliefs aren't compatible. One could be...a catholic and the other could be seventh day adventist or whatever. What if your spouse's family is...Mormon but thinks they are Christian? IDK
But you probably need to think about these things if the person you are dating is tied to a church or the whole family is going back generations. They might not approve.
I read of a couple, the wife was raised Methodists. He husband was raised Hindu. Her parents were not happy with her marrying a Hindu. But once they got married, they didn't have any deep religious beliefs, and their children went to Catholic schools. So maybe its just surface level, cultural thing. For some.
Who's church you going to marry in as well? Where you going to raise your children if your beliefs aren't compatible. One could be...a catholic and the other could be seventh day adventist or whatever. What if your spouse's family is...Mormon but thinks they are Christian? IDK
But you probably need to think about these things if the person you are dating is tied to a church or the whole family is going back generations. They might not approve.
I read of a couple, the wife was raised Methodists. He husband was raised Hindu. Her parents were not happy with her marrying a Hindu. But once they got married, they didn't have any deep religious beliefs, and their children went to Catholic schools. So maybe its just surface level, cultural thing. For some.
Well, she moved out back to her mother so..? IDK
Are you going to judge them and insist they stay together when they can't even talk to each other except through lawyers? I don't think thats happy, or holy.
Not sure about their faith. But an unbeliever can depart, it says in the Bible. If they can't live together in peace, they aren't called to bondage.
Is that not Biblical when it actually says so in the Bible, an unbeliever can leave? Maybe she lost belief?