Hey Everyone,
A recent conversation had me thinking.
One of the things brought up was the valid point that I was possibly setting up too high of a standard by saying that I try to stay clear of dating someone with an active, ongoing porn addiction. Now if it was someone who had victory in Jesus and had put it in the past, Glory Hallelujah, Praise Jesus -- I would definitely take that into consideration.
But if was like anything what I've dealt with in past relationships -- such as someone who was looking at all kinds of illicit materials and then seeking to act it out (in a big city where anything and everything was available) while also reading the Bible daily, I would have to pass, and here's part of the reason why.
From the time I was a kid, other kids, and even adults, have been confiding in me about the abuses they've gone through, whether as kids, adults, or within their marriages. Very often, they will tell me about the most painful thing they have been through, which was sexual abuse. It's happened so frequently and continues to happen (and both men and women tell me about this,) that I just figured it's part of what God has called me to do: listen to their pain, validate their feelings, reiterate that a horrible injustice was done to them in God's eyes, and pray for their healing.
Because of this, I feel that it's very important for me to try to stay away from certain things because these are the very things that often led to so many people being abused. Now of course, no one is perfect, least of all me, but I do believe that if God is calling me to help those who are abused, I have to make it a point to try my best to stay away from abusive materials.
We often talk about not being "unequally yoked" in terms of a believer and an unbeliever, but I think it's usually overlooked that two believers can be just as unequally yoked.
I know that for myself, if God is calling me to those who are trying to heal from sexual abuse, I could not marry and come home to someone who regularly entertains materials depicting what God sees as deviant sexual behaviors.
I am very interested in hearing from or about others who have a similar "counselor's calling" and how it has manifested in your life.
I'm starting off telling you about me because I think it's only fair that the OP be the first to share when asking others about themselves. And so, now that you know a little about what I believe God has called me to do, I would like to know about YOU.
* Do you believe you have a "counselor's calling"? Do people often share or open up to you about their lives? What do you feel God calls you to do in such situations? Do you ever wish you had a different calling?
* Have you ever developed romantic feelings for someone who confided in you? Did it last? Why or why not?
* Is there a specific area you feel God has called you to? (Such as in my example, abuse seems to be the most common thing people talk to me about.) Do you ever feel like you need to take precautions/avoid certain things because of your calling?
* Have you ever developed feelings for someone ELSE who was acting as a "counselor" to you? How did it go?
I'm asking this because in my experience, I have often found that people seem to mistake sharing pain (and feeling cared for) as falling in love, and I'm wondering what your experiences have been with this.
Looking forward to hearing others share their thoughts on this topic!
A recent conversation had me thinking.
One of the things brought up was the valid point that I was possibly setting up too high of a standard by saying that I try to stay clear of dating someone with an active, ongoing porn addiction. Now if it was someone who had victory in Jesus and had put it in the past, Glory Hallelujah, Praise Jesus -- I would definitely take that into consideration.
But if was like anything what I've dealt with in past relationships -- such as someone who was looking at all kinds of illicit materials and then seeking to act it out (in a big city where anything and everything was available) while also reading the Bible daily, I would have to pass, and here's part of the reason why.
From the time I was a kid, other kids, and even adults, have been confiding in me about the abuses they've gone through, whether as kids, adults, or within their marriages. Very often, they will tell me about the most painful thing they have been through, which was sexual abuse. It's happened so frequently and continues to happen (and both men and women tell me about this,) that I just figured it's part of what God has called me to do: listen to their pain, validate their feelings, reiterate that a horrible injustice was done to them in God's eyes, and pray for their healing.
Because of this, I feel that it's very important for me to try to stay away from certain things because these are the very things that often led to so many people being abused. Now of course, no one is perfect, least of all me, but I do believe that if God is calling me to help those who are abused, I have to make it a point to try my best to stay away from abusive materials.
We often talk about not being "unequally yoked" in terms of a believer and an unbeliever, but I think it's usually overlooked that two believers can be just as unequally yoked.
I know that for myself, if God is calling me to those who are trying to heal from sexual abuse, I could not marry and come home to someone who regularly entertains materials depicting what God sees as deviant sexual behaviors.
I am very interested in hearing from or about others who have a similar "counselor's calling" and how it has manifested in your life.
I'm starting off telling you about me because I think it's only fair that the OP be the first to share when asking others about themselves. And so, now that you know a little about what I believe God has called me to do, I would like to know about YOU.
* Do you believe you have a "counselor's calling"? Do people often share or open up to you about their lives? What do you feel God calls you to do in such situations? Do you ever wish you had a different calling?
* Have you ever developed romantic feelings for someone who confided in you? Did it last? Why or why not?
* Is there a specific area you feel God has called you to? (Such as in my example, abuse seems to be the most common thing people talk to me about.) Do you ever feel like you need to take precautions/avoid certain things because of your calling?
* Have you ever developed feelings for someone ELSE who was acting as a "counselor" to you? How did it go?
I'm asking this because in my experience, I have often found that people seem to mistake sharing pain (and feeling cared for) as falling in love, and I'm wondering what your experiences have been with this.
Looking forward to hearing others share their thoughts on this topic!
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