Churchgoer how about you stop hinting people go to church. It's getting old.
Everyone here has already been there, done that.
Everyone here has already been there, done that.
Courtship?
- Thread starter Lanolin
- Start date
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Also, there are way too many baby boomers at church and they ain't young lol
I don't know how many funerals I've attended at church! Must be in double digits. As already said, they all had the Bible and they are local. There was even a Bible college up the road from me, that had young people, but unless you had like thousands of dollars to enrol, they won't take you. It's now a retirement village.
I don't know how many funerals I've attended at church! Must be in double digits. As already said, they all had the Bible and they are local. There was even a Bible college up the road from me, that had young people, but unless you had like thousands of dollars to enrol, they won't take you. It's now a retirement village.
Possible I just enjoy face to face friendship a lot more. Talking, eating, listening, ....face to face.
Also another note, unless 2 people see each other in real life, it is not real dating. Internet exchange is only pen pal.
Also another note, unless 2 people see each other in real life, it is not real dating. Internet exchange is only pen pal.
I've often wondered if being an introvert vs. an extrovert plays a big role in dating preferences.
As an introvert, I tend to like online things. Of course, I do like some things in person, but I'm perfectly fine with having an "active social life" -- online.
It's funny because in the past 20 years, all but one of the guys I ever sparked an interest with were online. I did meet guys in real life, but for whatever reason, there wasn't any interest except one, and then I had to move away, and long-distance wasn't working. (He wound up meeting someone else and getting married, which I do think was instrumented by God.)
I do agree though that if something starts online, a couple has to find a way to spend significant time together in person in order to consider marriage.
I do think there's been a reason why I personally only seemed to meet guys online -- it stopped me from making rash decisions.
If I had met someone in person (and been able to stay in the area,) I think I most likely would have married the wrong person.
But that's just me, and I totally understand why most people would want to meet someone "the old fashioned way" instead.
How did you meet your first husband, if you don't mind my asking?
I think some people have this idea they will just marry their high school sweet heart you saw everyday at school. Uh, no. That isn't the way it works anymore. Or someone at work.
You need to put time and effort into building a relationship/friendship. It doesn't just come about cos you see them everyday at work or school or once a week at church or bible study.
Nobody just marries the first person they see, after only seeing them on three dates. Well I wouldn't.
Nobody just marries the first person they see, after only seeing them on three dates. Well I wouldn't.
Thank you for sharing.
Very possible, different personalities. It is interesting for "internet" dating, I meant to develop relationship on internet. I don't have any experience on that, but I heard people never met, write to each other for months, then married.
As for my circle, people only use internet as a tool to get contact, or initial vetting, then quickly meeting in person, start in person dating, or not, all happens.
Yeah, myself definitely an outgoing old school, in person only. For all kinds of friendship.
Online.
Back then, the internet was just starting to take off, and I met him on an online forum, though it was called a "bulletin board" at that time. I spent most of my time in the live chats, talking to people... and one day, he and I happened to start chatting.
He went to a college about 2 hours away.
I had a friend at the time who had a boyfriend at the same college and went there almost every weekend, so after a while of chatting online (I can't remember how long... several months at least,) I went with her so that I could meet him in person.
oh ok interesting...
Was he like your first..bf you were serious about, well serious enough to marry, or it was just expected of you because it was the right time for you to marry someone and settle down?
How long were you seeing him for before you got married, and how long did that marriage last? Sorry if you've already answered this question a thousand times. I don't mean to be nosy.
Were you ever engaged to anyone else prior or afterward?
And thank you for being so open-minded.
I think one thing that makes me different is that I was writing to pen pals even as a young teen (through a pen pal exchange in a teen magazine.)
There were two I became such good friends with that they came to stay with my family for a week. One was from across the country; and one was from Japan (she brought her best friend along as a safeguard.)
And this was in the days before the internet, long before you could Google someone to see if they had a criminal record. All I had to go on was God and what they told me.
I'm always amazed that the pen pal from Japan and I were able to set up her visit all through paper letters -- not even a single phone call, as this was long before cell phones or texting -- when it took our letters two weeks each way to get to the other person. But somehow, God directed things and we had a great time!
Unfortunately, we lost touch once we became adults and got married, etc. But it was an amazing experience.
When the internet came along, I basically saw it (and still do) as a worldwide pen pal-ing network. I've been on CC for 17 years, and have met about 25 members in person (after meeting them, to me, "the old-fashioned way" -- through writing over several years.)
I've lost touch with some as life moved on, but am still in contact with nearly half of them, even though most are no longer on CC.
I was able to visit with one a few months ago, and hope to visit a few more next year.
The online forums I went on were all kind of fan-based ones where we'd obssess over books or movie stars etc. I did chat with a few over msn messenger and had them as friends, but even though I as in my late teens, early twenties at the time, I'd never think about dating them as they were overseas.
I wrote a lot of emails though back then, internet connection wasn't always reliable (we had dial-up!) and it costs money to text. People say you shouldn't put too much personal content in emails esp with phishers and scammers and anyone can just fwd and read them, but even with paper letters if you don't hide them away people can still find them if they look hard enough lol
I guess thats why some people use platforms like snapchat. It is fun to chat with someone live online but I don't do it much anymore because people get busy and there's other things to do, while writing emails can be a bit more focussed. It is one way of getting to know somebody though, other than a phone call.
Remember e-groups? I think yahoo took it over. They were kind of like forums, except more exclusive, more of a club type atmosphere we wouldn't accept randoms. Ive written a lot of postcards to people and received a lot, its kind of a novelty to correspond with people all over the globe...for me anyway. I love writing to people.
I wrote a lot of emails though back then, internet connection wasn't always reliable (we had dial-up!) and it costs money to text. People say you shouldn't put too much personal content in emails esp with phishers and scammers and anyone can just fwd and read them, but even with paper letters if you don't hide them away people can still find them if they look hard enough lol
I guess thats why some people use platforms like snapchat. It is fun to chat with someone live online but I don't do it much anymore because people get busy and there's other things to do, while writing emails can be a bit more focussed. It is one way of getting to know somebody though, other than a phone call.
Remember e-groups? I think yahoo took it over. They were kind of like forums, except more exclusive, more of a club type atmosphere we wouldn't accept randoms. Ive written a lot of postcards to people and received a lot, its kind of a novelty to correspond with people all over the globe...for me anyway. I love writing to people.
A couple I know started pen pal, then they call each other often, exchanged photos.... after 1 year, the guy visited the girl, then they spent a few months in local neighborhood, different house of course, then married over 30 years, till one went to heaven.And thank you for being so open-minded.
I think one thing that makes me different is that I was writing to pen pals even as a young teen (through a pen pal exchange in a teen magazine.)
There were two I became such good friends with that they came to stay with my family for a week. One was from across the country; and one was from Japan (she brought her best friend along as a safeguard.)
And this was in the days before the internet, long before you could Google someone to see if they had a criminal record. All I had to go on was God and what they told me.
I'm always amazed that the pen pal from Japan and I were able to set up her visit all through paper letters -- not even a single phone call, as this was long before cell phones or texting -- when it took our letters two weeks each way to get to the other person. But somehow, God directed things and we had a great time!
Unfortunately, we lost touch once we became adults and got married, etc. But it was an amazing experience.
When the internet came along, I basically saw it (and still do) as a worldwide pen pal-ing network. I've been on CC for 17 years, and have met about 25 members in person (after meeting them, to me, "the old-fashioned way" -- through writing over several years.)
I've lost touch with some as life moved on, but am still in contact with nearly half of them, even though most are no longer on CC.
I was able to visit with one a few months ago, and hope to visit a few more next year.
Both people I think they are out going. It is just local dating with others didn't work out.
So God is miraculous. All is possible!!!
I write to my neighbour who just lives down the street from me, and we've been doing this for over 20 years. He's deaf/hearing impaired and also a bit autistic, so writing is easier for us.
I like that part about God is miraculous and all is possible. I had to read that twice!
I did have a boyfriend in high school I was briefly engaged to, but we split up, mostly due to family drama on his side. I knew we'd never get away from it because he would, understandably, never leave or move very far from his family. They were good people, but had very different ideas of how things should be done than what I was raised with. I knew that to marry into that family would mean a lifetime of someone in his family trying to control me (as it was already happening during our relationship,) and I would have never survived that. I won't say anything more out of respect for him, as he was a great guy.
The guy I married (the one I met online) was my second "real" boyfriend (I don't count my on-and-off grade school boyfriend, lol,) and I married him because at the time, we thought we were madly in love. We were together about 3 years, then were married for another 2 before he left for someone else.
Looking back, I can't entirely fault him because being together 24/7 and the pressures we were going through (work, finances, school, family, etc.) brought my depression to a level I'd never experienced before, and I know that for him, trying to deal with that is what wore him down. I always pray that someday he will forgive me for the way I was that drove him away. The last time we ever spoke was at our court hearing and aside from one phone call where he had to pick up something (that I later found out belonged to his girlfriend,) we never spoke again.
Neither of us wants to know anything about the other. I can't speak for him, but I know for me, it would just be too painful. Several years ago I was on Facebook and someone who knew his family contacted me -- just hearing the little I did broke my heart all over again.
If I ever see or talk to him again, it will have to be in heaven and not in this life.
I've never been engaged to anyone else, though I've had at least two other times where a guy has seriously asked me about marriage.
I'd like to think I've gotten to be older and wiser... Going from experience, I saw the hurdles we were facing and knew the challenges would be formidable (family, finances, and distance.)
And I do think it was for the better.
One, whom I mentioned in my former post, married someone who seems much more compatible for his life than I would have been.
The other has gone on to build a very successful business, has lots of women interested in him, and I'm glad I'm not holding him back from any better opportunities he might have.
Thank you for your interest!
This is beautiful!!!
Thank you very much for sharing this! (And thank you for demonstrating the power of writing letters!!)
What an amazing story of reaching out to someone in a way that truly meets them where they are.
It made me grin from ear to ear.
The more we follow God, the more we experience His presence with us, every day is miraculous walking with God.
Just like the song
what a friend we have in Jesus....
We just write in a notebook and it's easier to just write in one notebook instead of a letter and envelope, it saves paper and we can see what the other wrote and return it to each other's letterbox. Ive attached pens to this notebook with a hairband, and we write with different coloured pens. My handwriting isn't the neatest lol. I think it's deteriorated over time, my neighbour always writes in CAPS. He used to have a typewriter and type out his letters.
The cost now of mailing a letter is prohibitive for regular correspondence, thats why everyone uses email or txt message. My dad used to work for the post, but now mail is mostly bills and parcels. I haven't met many of my penpals maybe only handful because I live too far away, and also as a teen I didn't have transport, even in the same country/town!
The cost now of mailing a letter is prohibitive for regular correspondence, thats why everyone uses email or txt message. My dad used to work for the post, but now mail is mostly bills and parcels. I haven't met many of my penpals maybe only handful because I live too far away, and also as a teen I didn't have transport, even in the same country/town!
Yea imagine if I had a private plane, I'd still need to drive up to the airport but where there used to be one (domestic) is now housing. The main international airport is about 40 minutes away (with traffic) so its not right on my doorstep.
Some people who live out in the country do have private planes if they are fortunate to have enough land for a runway. Just little planes like cessnas. Not jets.
I don't have a pilots licence though.
People often don't think of the logistics of dating, like where are you going to meet, what are you going to do, how long it takes to get there and back, how often and how many dates you ought to go on before committing exclusively etc.
I mean literally there are no hard and fast rules or universally agreed guidelines, its like the wild west out there. The most people I met was when I was travelling, it is very easy to spark up a romance/relationship when you are travelling with other travellers.
Some people who live out in the country do have private planes if they are fortunate to have enough land for a runway. Just little planes like cessnas. Not jets.
I don't have a pilots licence though.
People often don't think of the logistics of dating, like where are you going to meet, what are you going to do, how long it takes to get there and back, how often and how many dates you ought to go on before committing exclusively etc.
I mean literally there are no hard and fast rules or universally agreed guidelines, its like the wild west out there. The most people I met was when I was travelling, it is very easy to spark up a romance/relationship when you are travelling with other travellers.