Dealing with loneliness?

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J

Jenny23

Guest
#1
#1
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#2
#2
I have a cat and dog and multitude of family members but I understand lonely!
we can be with a crowd ,single or married( which I'm not) and still feel lonely!
Jesus is my only comfort for this!
I have wondered if something is missing in me!
I love easily and unconditionally!
Am a truly accepting person,and easy to engage but I have a void for another human to fill!
I think it's because I feel unloved like I truly want to be loved!
I am so very thankful to my beloved Lord,the intimacy in prayer and study!
still I understand what you mean!
if you find the answer p!ease pass it along to me!
Blessings to you!
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#3
Jun 30, 2015
25,587
13,857
113
#3
Welcome to CC, Jenny!

I have occasionally experienced loneliness both while single and while married... the latter is much worse! On those rare occasions, I keep myself busy, reach out to friends, and sometimes distract from the feeling with a movie or other entertainment. The most reliable solution is talking to Jesus about it; He deals with the root of the problem and sets me free from unrealistic expectations.
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#4
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#4
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
Click to expand...
Hey Jenny,
Your question is very honest. I think there is something inside of everyone, that feels a little alone. We can drown it out at times, but we crave more than this life can give. There are times we feel it more acutely. There is a verse Isaiah 61:3, that says, "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (some versions say spirit of despair or faint spirit)". There are a lot of ways to apply this. For me, focusing on the blessings, while it doesn't change the circumstances, it alters my perspective. Being grateful doesn't minimize your depth of pain, but rather, helps you to navigate it. Loneliness can dry up the bones and make us practically disappear. Finding ways to renew your spirit is essential. I had a time where my closest friends had scattered across the globe. I was single and I had no family nearby. I decided to search out people. I deliberately started inviting people I liked, over for a meal or to meet at a restaurant. I'd make it a small group and it was wonderful. It was something little but I decided to choose my actions rather than wait for life to improve on its own. I wanted to act rather than react. I am glad that you posted this question and I glad that you are here.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#5
#5
laughingheart said:
Hey Jenny,
Your question is very honest. I think there is something inside of everyone, that feels a little alone. We can drown it out at times, but we crave more than this life can give. There are times we feel it more acutely. There is a verse Isaiah 61:3, that says, "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (some versions say spirit of despair or faint spirit)". There are a lot of ways to apply this. For me, focusing on the blessings, while it doesn't change the circumstances, it alters my perspective. Being grateful doesn't minimize your depth of pain, but rather, helps you to navigate it. Loneliness can dry up the bones and make us practically disappear. Finding ways to renew your spirit is essential. I had a time where my closest friends had scattered across the globe. I was single and I had no family nearby. I decided to search out people. I deliberately started inviting people I liked, over for a meal or to meet at a restaurant. I'd make it a small group and it was wonderful. It was something little but I decided to choose my actions rather than wait for life to improve on its own. I wanted to act rather than react. I am glad that you posted this question and I glad that you are here.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your response. This is incredibly helpful and encouraging. You are right that I have the ability to choose to act in the midst of loneliness. I’m working through the process currently of trusting God to help me. Thank you again!
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#6
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
113
33
Arizona
#6
There are several ways to deal with it I think. I find that getting support from church family (if you are in a church) is really vital. Helps to have sort of an atmosphere where you’re not having someone expect something from you. Just fellowship.

Also, depending on what level of social interaction you require, I find that just being amongst other people is nice. A cafe, a library, something like that.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#8
#8
ArtsieSteph said:
There are several ways to deal with it I think. I find that getting support from church family (if you are in a church) is really vital. Helps to have sort of an atmosphere where you’re not having someone expect something from you. Just fellowship.

Also, depending on what level of social interaction you require, I find that just being amongst other people is nice. A cafe, a library, something like that.
Click to expand...
Totally! I am a part of a church community, and have some close friends who are believers. God has blessed me with some amazing friends. Thank you for your thoughts!
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,317
113
#9
This site used to be my antidote for loneliness, but it stopped being that some time ago... Now I just wander through my life like...

 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#12
Aug 13, 2014
27,662
9,599
113
#12
"We speak of comfort and luxury as requirements for a happy life. The only thing a person needs in order to be happy is something to be enthusiastic about."

If you have something you are enthusiastic about, there is no such thing as free time you have to try to fill. Boredom and loneliness can't grow in such soil.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#13
#13
One interesting aspect of loneliness is our reaction to it.
" why am I lonely? there must be something wrong with me. look at all those other people. they dont look lonely. Maybe I am being punished for past sins. oh man i'm such a loser. is there any ice-cream left in the fridge?"
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#14
#14
zeroturbulence said:
This site used to be my antidote for loneliness, but it stopped being that some time ago... Now I just wander through my life like...

Click to expand...




Come on Zero!
Lol
I hear you though,all this chatter chatter makes my head spin!
We all need a really really good friend!
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#15
#15
morefaithrequired said:
One interesting aspect of loneliness is our reaction to it.
" why am I lonely? there must be something wrong with me. look at all those other people. they dont look lonely. Maybe I am being punished for past sins. oh man i'm such a loser. is there any ice-cream left in the fridge?"
Click to expand...


yep let's be emotional eaters! It will make us FEEL better for about 5 minutes,then the quilt starts!
but hey loneliness is replaced with quilt!😂😂😂😂😂
Vicious cycle!
Need a gentle spin cycle!
 
TLC209

TLC209

Active member
#16
Mar 20, 2019
553
182
43
42
Merced, CA
#16
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
Click to expand...
The only cure ive found in singleness is the feeling you get when you witness to others about Gods goodness, His love, and who He is. Helping remind people about God, or sharing with others about Him helps fill that void.

The bible says it is better to give than to receive and Ive found this to be true. Whether you're going thru depression, loneliness, anxiety or worry. Whatever it may be, sharing with others about Jesus or helping others is a huge blessing for ones self. It feeds your Spirit. Gives a feeling of completeness.

Hope this helps give some insight.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#17
#17
TLC209 said:
The only cure ive found in singleness is the feeling you get when you witness to others about Gods goodness, His love, and who He is. Helping remind people about God, or sharing with others about Him helps fill that void.

The bible says it is better to give than to receive and Ive found this to be true. Whether you're going thru depression, loneliness, anxiety or worry. Whatever it may be, sharing with others about Jesus or helping others is a huge blessing for ones self. It feeds your Spirit. Gives a feeling of completeness.

Hope this helps give some insight.
Click to expand...
This is very helpful! When I think about it, I usual feel the most lonely when I am focused too much on myself. Being a blessing to others is a good anecdote. Thank you so much for this reminder.
 
kinda

kinda

Senior Member
#18
Jun 26, 2013
3,946
1,507
113
#18
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
Click to expand...

Why do you feel lonely? When are you not lonely? Did you just go through a break up? Are you living far away from your family? How long have you been lonely?
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#20
#20
kinda said:
Why do you feel lonely? When are you not lonely? Did you just go through a break up? Are you living far away from your family? How long have you been lonely?
Click to expand...
I did recently go through a breakup. I am the only believer in my immediate family. I have a very close and strong church family though. I have a prayer partner and mentor who prays for me everyday, and I pray for her as well. I am in the process of learning how to face my loneliness instead of run from it or futilely try to fill it. I am in the process of submitting my desires to God and trusting him even when my life situation seems to have taken, from my perception, a turn for the worse.

Thank you so much for taking time to ask! Does this answer your questions?
 
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