Do you have to be smart with money to marry

[BrotherMike]

And I think part of it for me too is that...well to be frank I'm not good with money myself. So it's a bit unfair to expect him to be FOR me. Maybe it's just better for BOTH of us to learn frugality?

It’s a topic that needs to be discussed and to be honest with each other. A good place to start is both agreeing to go through financial peace university. A lot of churches offer that program and the sooner you apply it the better off financially you will be.

 

[laughingheart]

I am responding to the question asked at the beginning. Should a man be smart with money? Yes. Should a woman be smart with money? Yes. The Proverbs 31 woman was brilliant with the proper managing of her home and trades. Wisdom in all areas of life is to be desired in a partner. Marrying someone who gambles, is a heavy spender, doesn't save or won't look to the needs of the family is a bad idea. Maybe being smart with money means knowing how to fix things, grow food in a garden or spend wisely. Being generous with what God gives you is also spiritually wise. Avoid foolishness in a partner and that extends to money. A man who marries for beauty and ends up bankrupt because his wife won't stop spending of unnecessary items, creates his own ruin. People should definitely know their potential spouses attitude towards finances.
Myself, being careful with funds, and being creative with how to save is important. Not being a slave to labels and fads is a must, but being stingy with love, time or the needy is not acceptable. You have to be on the same page about your attitudes towards finances or there will not be harmony in your home. The love of money is not healthy but wisdom and the ability to keep a roof over your head is important.

 

[Lanolin]

You can actually do certificates in money management (its not an accounting or commerce degree) . I actually did one and learned a lot but Im not going to go down the financial advisor route. Or invest in property.
sorry but what it did was teach me that Monopoly is a horrible game.

 

[Lanolin]

some churches do CAP which is a budgeting worskshop or programme. CAP stands for Christians against poverty.

You know how the lords prayer goes, 'forgive us our debts as we forgive those who have debts against us?' well it can be literal. It is a blessing to be financially free...ie. not in debt!

 

[Didymous]

So my mom grew up in the old school of “find a man who will take care of you.” Now to be fair she wasn’t in the attitude of a man has to make all the money, has to do all the manual labor, has to run all the financials by himself, ect ect. But she always and still really stresses the need of any man I date needing to be a man with a good education and income.

I could care less about income. But as a result my mother has literally called the men I’ve dated, God fearing and sweet men, losers. Not all of them though, apparently if they have a job and a car they’re fine, but day it’s a part time then he’s gonna “have to do better.”

That just grates me like sand paper. But am I wrong? Or is she wrong? Or is there a grey in the middle I haven’t found yet?

Any other thoughts? I especially wanna know what guys think about that.

I guess I don't understand your question, ma'am. Are you asking if man has to be smart and have money to be considered eligible for marriage?

 

[KhedetOrthos]

appearently frugality is a Dutch trait so you could always check if your date is Dutch.
I hadnt ever dated a dutchman but my girlfriends who are dutch Ive noticed always split the bill. I havea friend who married a dutchman but that didnt last long as she couldnt handle living off the smell of an oily rag.

...that’s how copper wire is made.

Drop a penny between two Dutchmen.

 

[Lanolin]

to quote Jane Austen, from the first lines of Pride and Prejudice....

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

 

[BlessedByGod]

So my mom grew up in the old school of “find a man who will take care of you.” Now to be fair she wasn’t in the attitude of a man has to make all the money, has to do all the manual labor, has to run all the financials by himself, ect ect. But she always and still really stresses the need of any man I date needing to be a man with a good education and income.

I could care less about income. But as a result my mother has literally called the men I’ve dated, God fearing and sweet men, losers. Not all of them though, apparently if they have a job and a car they’re fine, but day it’s a part time then he’s gonna “have to do better.”

That just grates me like sand paper. But am I wrong? Or is she wrong? Or is there a grey in the middle I haven’t found yet?

Any other thoughts? I especially wanna know what guys think about that.

Well, I don't believe that money is by any means everything, if they are your age, then the question become (for me) why don't the have a car? Why don't they have a job? You don't want to go the other route, where (if you end up marrying him) that you will end up just supporting him. In my opinion, does he have to be rich , no. But if he doesn't have a job, or a vehicle, the why is what I would be asking. At some point, if you both have children, will you be left trying to support everyone and coming home and taking care of them all? His heart for God and you is deeply important, firstly. And, as such, I believe he would want to be taking care of you or, at the very least, contributing to the building of your financial wellbeing and care.
Anyway, there's my two cents worth...I can afford to give my two cents worth away, couldn't resist.

 

[Lanolin]

if he doesnt have a car at least ought to have a tandem bike.
any job is better than none but I would question what kind of job...if its say as a pimp or drug dealer...or CEO of an evil corporation maybe not

 

[BlessedByGod]

if he doesnt have a car at least ought to have a tandem bike.
any job is better than none but I would question what kind of job...if its say as a pimp or drug dealer...or CEO of an evil corporation maybe not

Thanks for the much needed laugh Lanolin

 

[TheIndianGirl]

It is important to know why the person is poor. Is it because he is lazy and has no ambition, or because he has a lower paying job that is meaningful and he is hardworking. I agree with your mom that your spouse should have a full time job and is hardworking. It is important to have the same spending habits (one shouldn't be frugal while the other a spendthrift).

 

[Pipp]

Well its better than being dumb and while wealth isnt a big necessity ,having money to pay bills and provide for your family is a necessity .

 

[Demi777]

Imo as long as hes not a drinker or cheater ur almost on the safe side.
Of course its better to have somone financially stable but its not required.
Its more important that he takes his role as a man in a household as he should. Getting a well paid job isnt easy and some cant become some big boss managers due to sickness

 

[CozHElivesIcanface2morrow]

That is understandable most moms want what's the best for their children. She cares for you and she doesn't want to see her daughter struggle financially. It is so natural for most mothers to want a future son-in-law that can take care and provide for her daughter


My mother told me almost the same to look for someone that can provide and take care of me... She didn't mean someone with lots of money but someone who is not lazy...



For me, it doesn't matter if he is not financially secured or if he can't afford me a big house all that matters to me is if he loves JESUS if he loves me if he has dreams from there we can work on it together side by side holding hands forever

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I never thought of that. Not necessarily the work check but the work ethic... that makes much more sense

 

[up]

cashing my checks makes
sense - as well

 

[ArtsieSteph]

cashing my checks makes
sense - as well

Cashing your checks?? Oh haha - cents

 

[up]

Cashing your checks?? Oh haha - cents

foldable


But...


penny for your thoughts

 

[Robertt]

Marriage is work, love feelings come and go. Both man and woman have a roll

So marry whomever you choose , work hard love lots, and money will come and go, poor people have issues , rich people have issues. it is attitude that makes the difference

 

[ArtsieSteph]

Marriage is work, love feelings come and go. Both man and woman have a roll

So marry whomever you choose , work hard love lots, and money will come and go, poor people have issues , rich people have issues. it is attitude that makes the difference

Well I would say that’s a good sum up. Makes me think of the last verse of Ecclesiastes. “Fear God and do His will, then done. That’s it.”