Doomed to be single?

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cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#81
Sure by isolating these verses from the other things Paul said right there you could get the impression he was against marriage. He had the gift of singleness and wish everyone else had but that would be ridiculous. He would be wanting to kill off the world. You must read the whole chapter. There is no mistaking it. Paul is not telling us it is best for ALL PEOPLE to stay single, he is saying it is best for SOME like himself, who have the gift of singleness, which is rare.

So Peter calls marriage the grace of life (the very best of life), Paul is going to contradict Peter by saying he wishes that all would be like him? The fact is, most men and women can not live celibate. They should then marry because they are human. Paul is telling them to get married, that is best for them. Why do you have an issue that for some (clearly most) people, remaining celibate is going to be a losing battle?

This has nothing at all to do with worshipping marriage or singleness it has to do with discerning God's will for your life and following it. It is better to marry than to burn settle it. God doesn't intend for this to be some mystical decision.

The church does not know why single people are single. I've known many pastors in my time. They don't want them to be single, and even if they did, the Bible is clear-Get married, that's for most of us. Stay single if you can, but that's going to be extremely difficult unless they are gifted for it.
Your opinion is incorrect. Paul clearly stated that it is better to not marry. He also says that not all have this gift of the capacity of singleness. But singleness is preferable, it is just that many will not be able to hack it due to weakness a lack of will or fleshly desire, all three of which are undesirable.
 
Jun 12, 2020
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#82
Burning and distraction might be your problem but it isn't my problem. And if you have a problem with single pastors why don't you take it up with Paul in heaven when and if you get there? And if I may be so bold, please tell me the name of any pastor that you know who has had direct revelation from the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Or is better qualified than Paul to pastor a Church.
You are in the minority, no problem with that, then the Bible declares it is best for YOU to stay single. Some are eunuchs and some don't burn a lot, that is the point. Your direction on what to do comes from your ability to have sexual continency. That is not better or worse than the majority of people who can not tolerate or handle that (Matthew 19). I can not even fathom not needing a wife, but that isn't better or worse.

I don't have a problem with single pastors I don't even know of any.

Do you realize many scholars assume Paul had been married at one time? Possibly widowed when the Lord saved him and that is when our gifts are given. One of his, out of the necessity for which the Lord saved him for, was to be single. Of course Paul wanted people to consider if they could stay single, and if not, then it was better for them to marry. He is simply talking about what is good and what is better depending on the make up of the person.

Paul was the biggest supporter of marriage the world had probably seen in his time, he was revolutionary. The man was an incredible person, probably the one I admire most, but he had a gift that enabled him to be single for the rest of his life. The question for everyone else is do they have the same kind of gift?
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#83
And because of this (and despite your strident protestations) she's going to get it all lol.
Definitely! I'm happy for her. But why wait, just hand over the money bags now.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#84
Sure by isolating these verses from the other things Paul said right there you could get the impression he was against marriage. He had the gift of singleness and wish everyone else had but that would be ridiculous. He would be wanting to kill off the world. You must read the whole chapter. There is no mistaking it. Paul is not telling us it is best for ALL PEOPLE to stay single, he is saying it is best for SOME like himself, who have the gift of singleness, which is rare.

So Peter calls marriage the grace of life (the very best of life), Paul is going to contradict Peter by saying he wishes that all would be like him? The fact is, most men and women can not live celibate. They should then marry because they are human. Paul is telling them to get married, that is best for them. Why do you have an issue that for some (clearly most) people, remaining celibate is going to be a losing battle?

This has nothing at all to do with worshipping marriage or singleness it has to do with discerning God's will for your life and following it. It is better to marry than to burn settle it. God doesn't intend for this to be some mystical decision.

The church does not know why single people are single. I've known many pastors in my time. They don't want them to be single, and even if they did, the Bible is clear-Get married, that's for most of us. Stay single if you can, but that's going to be extremely difficult unless they are gifted for it.
I loved being single. Loved it. And I was happy happy happy every single day.
I am happy now as well, and it is great to have wonderful lovely woman in my home.

But despite all of this Pauls warnings about "trouble in the flesh" are absolutely correct and true.
It's just that we have so little of trouble in the flesh, it's easy to deal with but it is definitely there.

Oh there is no doubt at all that Paul is right. He is absolutely right about singleness as being better and absolutely right about marriage being a problem.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#85
Sure by isolating these verses from the other things Paul said right there you could get the impression he was against marriage. He had the gift of singleness and wish everyone else had but that would be ridiculous. He would be wanting to kill off the world. You must read the whole chapter. There is no mistaking it. Paul is not telling us it is best for ALL PEOPLE to stay single, he is saying it is best for SOME like himself, who have the gift of singleness, which is rare.

So Peter calls marriage the grace of life (the very best of life), Paul is going to contradict Peter by saying he wishes that all would be like him? The fact is, most men and women can not live celibate. They should then marry because they are human. Paul is telling them to get married, that is best for them. Why do you have an issue that for some (clearly most) people, remaining celibate is going to be a losing battle?

This has nothing at all to do with worshipping marriage or singleness it has to do with discerning God's will for your life and following it. It is better to marry than to burn settle it. God doesn't intend for this to be some mystical decision.

The church does not know why single people are single. I've known many pastors in my time. They don't want them to be single, and even if they did, the Bible is clear-Get married, that's for most of us. Stay single if you can, but that's going to be extremely difficult unless they are gifted for it.
Paul is answering questions that were addressed to him. I am glad he did because we are still asking the same questions. Would my ministry be more effective if I stayed single? Paul gives me the answer. The audience is for spiritual people who were full of the Holy Spirit and ministering in the gifts of the spirit. This conversation cannot be applied to just anyone who is single. Of course Paul is not saying all people in the whole world should stop marrying and having babies. However Paul is not concerned about the population of the earth but of the Church, in a spiritual multiplication of saving souls not having babies. Let the dead bury the dead, there are plenty of people who will take care of the continuation of the human species, the matter at hand for us is to preach the Gospel and devote our every minute to the spreading of the Gospel and the harvest of souls. Let your life burn as a flame of evangelistic fervency for the accomplishing of that goal and leave the population of the masses to the masses. You have a higher calling and not much time to accomplish it. This is the way Paul was that he wanted others to be like. But.. not every man has this gift.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#87
No marriage ceremony (An actual wedding) noted between Christians. Marriage ceremony.
1 Corinthians 7:9 is not a command it's a concession. You are better off NOT to marry unless you're sexual passions are too strong.
How do you know that the people getting married where Jesus turned the water into wine were not followers of God? Since Jesus was at the wedding you would assume they were Jewish people who had been lead by God...
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#88
You are in the minority, no problem with that, then the Bible declares it is best for YOU to stay single. Some are eunuchs and some don't burn a lot, that is the point. Your direction on what to do comes from your ability to have sexual continency. That is not better or worse than the majority of people who can not tolerate or handle that (Matthew 19). I can not even fathom not needing a wife, but that isn't better or worse.

I don't have a problem with single pastors I don't even know of any.

Do you realize many scholars assume Paul had been married at one time? Possibly widowed when the Lord saved him and that is when our gifts are given. One of his, out of the necessity for which the Lord saved him for, was to be single. Of course Paul wanted people to consider if they could stay single, and if not, then it was better for them to marry. He is simply talking about what is good and what is better depending on the make up of the person.

Paul was the biggest supporter of marriage the world had probably seen in his time, he was revolutionary. The man was an incredible person, probably the one I admire most, but he had a gift that enabled him to be single for the rest of his life. The question for everyone else is do they have the same kind of gift?
Yes I am very well aware of the possibility that Paul was a widower.
Keep this in mind: When Paul encountered Christ, he lost interest in anything but Christ.
 
Jun 12, 2020
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#89
No worries, very few will rise to the Great and Glorious calling of singleminded undistracted devotion to Christ as a one in a million who will stand in the gap and spend the time apart from the cares of this life and on their faces before a Holy God getting a fresh anointed Word from Heaven to share with the people that will turn the world upside down in our day. Only a few. A very small remnant. There will be plenty of others available who do not find the idea of that kind of intense seeking of God and no time for playing with the worlds triffles and amusements a very attractive concept, for the young widows to marry.
Marriage is for the best for most of us. It does not mean one has lesser devotion, we are all called to devotion to God. For me and most others, marriage is the best way to do that. People seem to think Paul was down on marriage. He says those that are married care for the things of the world how they can please their husband or wife (as they should). They are not exempted from serving and being devoted to God. Why is it some singles think that only singles can be devoted to God? I've known a lot who aren't devoted and married people who are.

If you have the gift of singleness good for you! Married people have done what is best for them, they got married. Singles are being misled believeing that they are to stay single leading to intense guilt and frustration.

One need not be single to intesely seek God. How do you think pastors do it? They might like to be single but they know that's not best for them or the body of Christ, so they got married.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#90
Definitely! I'm happy for her. But why wait, just hand over the money bags now.
Hhhmmmm. Do you recall in one of my earlier posts, how I summarily dismissed the golddiggers?
By the sounds of your constant bleating about and obsession with money, I can say with the utmost confidence I made the correct decision!
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,879
4,344
113
mywebsite.us
#91
1 Corinthians 7:35-37
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but in order to promote proper decorum and undivided devotion to the Lord. 36However, ifsomeone thinks he is acting inappropriately toward his betrothed,and if she is beyond her youth and they ought to marry, let him do as he wishes;he is not sinning; they should get married. 37But the man who is firmly established in his heart and under no constraint, with control over his will and resolve in his heart not to marry the virgin, he will do well.…
What is suggested here is NOT what this passage of scripture is talking about.

(BAD translation)
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#92
Not at all. First of all she has absolutely no idea whatsoever how much money I have. Secondly there is no doubt at all whatsoever that she could care less about money, and she has proven this consistently over two and a half years. And I could care less about money as well, it means nothing to me.

And because of this (and despite your strident protestations) she's going to get it all lol.
Maybe you didn't mean for it to sound like you were bragging about having money and someone to leave it to but it did come across a little that way...
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#93
If you don't think a 56-year-old man has self-control think again. And one of the main motivations to marry was to make sure that this worthy and dear woman would get all of my money. And God willing after I die be taken care of and live very comfortably unless the Lord comes before then. And there is nothing wrong with that now is there?
I wrote my post too quickly and was a bit harsh and unfair. My apologies for that as I really haven't conversed enough with you to have a good take on your character. But I also have no more interest in a debate that I'm not even sure what people are really debating anymore. So by all means live a godly life whatever situation you find yourself in and the rest of us can do our best to do the same.
 
Jun 12, 2020
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#94
Yes I am very well aware of the possibility that Paul was a widower.
Keep this in mind: When Paul encountered Christ, he lost interest in anything but Christ.
That was Christ's decision. He made Paul the way he was. He gifted him for singleness. Being married would have been a disaster. Married people are interested in Christ. We have to love our wives as Christ loved his bride the church. Jesus was looking for a wife, that's essentially why he came into the world and marriage is a dramatization of the gospel. Marriage is a good and normal thing. It is a godly thing to do.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#95
Aha, so THAT'S your game! You're here to castigate us singles for being single, and you want to guilt-trip us into finding spouses.

Good luck on that. We've already gone around and around with the "Christians have a holy duty to marry" debates. We're old hands at this argument.

You want to try to convince any of us we should get out there and find a spouse? Go ahead, give us your best fastball, curveball, or even spitball pitch.
Lynx! The great defender of singles and virgins. May you receive your reward for your dutiful service.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#96
How do you know that the people getting married where Jesus turned the water into wine were not followers of God? Since Jesus was at the wedding you would assume they were Jewish people who had been lead by God...
That is completely unknown. And what may have failed to command your attention, is the fact that the marriage was more or less incidental to the real focus of the incident, Who is Christ and His glorification. Everything and everyone else fades to relative insignificance. The focus of that portion of Scripture certainly is not a marriage or marriage in general.
 
Jun 12, 2020
95
32
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#97
I loved being single. Loved it. And I was happy happy happy every single day.
I am happy now as well, and it is great to have wonderful lovely woman in my home.

But despite all of this Pauls warnings about "trouble in the flesh" are absolutely correct and true.
It's just that we have so little of trouble in the flesh, it's easy to deal with but it is definitely there.

Oh there is no doubt at all that Paul is right. He is absolutely right about singleness as being better and absolutely right about marriage being a problem.
No. He did not say singleness was better for all, and he acknowledges the troubles of the flesh in marriage. Saying singleness is better for all people has no biblical basis at all. You are oveselling singleness and undervaluing marriage. God needs people to marry, that's his plan for creating godly heritage. People staying single is not going to accomplish that.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,761
8,606
113
#98
Paul is answering questions that were addressed to him. I am glad he did because we are still asking the same questions. Would my ministry be more effective if I stayed single? Paul gives me the answer. The audience is for spiritual people who were full of the Holy Spirit and ministering in the gifts of the spirit. This conversation cannot be applied to just anyone who is single. Of course Paul is not saying all people in the whole world should stop marrying and having babies. However Paul is not concerned about the population of the earth but of the Church, in a spiritual multiplication of saving souls not having babies. Let the dead bury the dead, there are plenty of people who will take care of the continuation of the human species, the matter at hand for us is to preach the Gospel and devote our every minute to the spreading of the Gospel and the harvest of souls. Let your life burn as a flame of evangelistic fervency for the accomplishing of that goal and leave the population of the masses to the masses. You have a higher calling and not much time to accomplish it. This is the way Paul was that he wanted others to be like. But.. not every man has this gift.
That is EXACTLY the way I see it. It's kind of spooky but it's as if you're reading my mind and writing my thoughts! Quite frankly I am thrilled to know that someone else agrees with me about the priority and reality of this present age.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#99
That is completely unknown. And what may have failed to command your attention, is the fact that the marriage was more or less incidental to the real focus of the incident, Who is Christ and His glorification. Everything and everyone else fades to relative insignificance. The focus of that portion of Scripture certainly is not a marriage or marriage in general.
I was replying to the no marriage in the NT....when clearly there was a marriage...in the NT....otherwise why have a wedding?
 
S

Scribe

Guest
(Of course, you took this out of context...)
The context was left out for brevity. But here it is so that you can see that it is the SAME context and subject.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (this is not a command to marry, but a solution offered)
If they can contain, stay single is better. They asked him for his opinion and he told them. if they cannot contain then let them marry problem solved, what is not an option is sexual sin. Contain or Marry. Contain is better.

Then in 35 he is still talking about the very same thing...

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

.. Let them marry in the above context does not mean he is commanding them to marry but again offering the solution to "behaveth himself uncomely" Pauls answer is still "behave yourself in a comely manner and attend upon the Lord without distraction, or .. marry, but if you do marry you have not sinned. Do not think you let the Lord down and are less of a Christian because you did not have the gift to stay single and behave yourself.

I do not see anything in the text of 1 Cor 7 that says that Paul said that MOST Spirit Filled Christians will have a problem containing themselves. I think that is our own ideas about our own realities or our perceptions based on our friends or life experiences.

I am fully persuaded that MOST Christians can experience complete control over these natural desires and that they can become irrelevant to their current mission and calling. Now some will not.. and so let them marry. They do not sin if they marry. They have not failed their calling.