Many things happen in our lives that can influence us negatively. Sometimes we use those experiences as an excuse for our behavior.
I grew up with a father who was ashamed of me, was emotionally abusive at times and rarely said anything kind to me.
He's told me it's because he didn't have a good father figure in his life, and the one he did have was an alcoholic.
I've told my Dad on more than one occasion, that's a REASON you are the way you are, it's not an excuse for it.