Guilty as charged!!!
I am notorious for (not) talking on the phone, simply because a live conversation means I have to think of answers and topics right then and there. I prefer text and writing because it gives me time to organize and develop what I want to say. If a person wants to hear my voice, I prefer voice texts for the same reason. If I do have a phone conversation or live chat, it's not uncommon for me to then write a 6-page letter to the person trying to explain what I actually wished I'd said!
I grew up writing paper letters to pen pals and then meeting them on the phone or in person (with no way of Googling their background information or status - talk about a leap of faith!), so to me, the internet felt like a natural progression for making friendships. As I was growing up, two of my written-letters-only pen pals came to visit, and one was even from Japan. How on earth we managed to coordinate a visit just through paper letters that took 2 weeks to get to each other is a feat I'll always marvel at. But in time, even those friendships faded away.
I've been here on CC since 2009, and I say that just to demonstrate that it can take a long time to make a connection (in contrast to someone who might be here only a few months and wondering why they haven't connected with anyone.) It has taken me literally thousands of hours of messages over several years (so it certainly doesn't come without a lot of work, either.) My general "method" is to observe (aka, mildly stalk, lol) a person through chat or the forums for several months, then, if I feel comfortable, strike up a PM conversation with them and see where it goes.
Over the years I've met somewhere around 15 people from CC in real life, but usually it was after knowing them for a while. It's been mentioned elsewhere in the forum so I'm comfortable with mentioning it here as well -- I was recently able to meet
@cinder and
@Lynx (on separate trips), whom I've been talking to almost from the time they got here in 2014, along with other CC friends who aren't here anymore, but whom I have known for probably 8 years (I'm giving the time spans just to demonstrate that none of this happens overnight.) I usually have to travel a couple times of year to see family, so in general, I try to tack on a visit/invasion to any CC friends in the approximate area.
I have several more on my hit, er, visitation list, hopefully in the years to come.
Please don't be discouraged if making friends takes a while, or if you have a lot of false starts. Many of the friendships I made here faded away due to the hustle and bustle of life, even when we did meet in person. For every friend I have made here, there were at least a dozen (maybe two dozen) others I may have talked with that just weren't meant to be, for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes people tell me, "You sure do seem to know a lot of people here," but it's only because of I've put in so much working trying to convince people I'm harmless enough to talk to.
I basically gave up watching TV for trying to make friends on this site.
I also went through a long stretch (about 5 years) in which, for some reason, God seemed to keep me from making ANY friends in real life. Try as I might, I couldn't make a friend at work or church (my usual stomping grounds) no matter how hard I tried. I asked one seemingly nice older lady at church if she'd like to grab lunch sometime, and she looked at me as if I'd planted a bomb in her car. Many of my co-workers were rumored to be on drugs, and it's often felt like God has been keeping me away from EVERYONE. During this very isolaated time, my online friendships were what really kept me going (and still do), as pathetic as some might think that is.
God has been bringing about tons of changes in my life, which is probably why He's keeping me from establishing any real-life roots. The best thing about online friends is that their friendships move along WITH you, no matter where God may lead.
I will be forever grateful to CC for the friends I've made here who have helped keep my faith - and my life - going.
And for those who are trying or want to make friends here, keep on trying! Please don't give up if the first few, or even a few hundred, don't work out.
There are always new and interesting people here to meet.
As for future plans,
@Pipp has been at the top of my wish list for years, but so far, it just hasn't come together.
She likes to joke that this is probably because the two of us being together would cause enough ruckus to land us in jail
, so if anyone wants to donate to our Saving-in-Advance, Please-Bail-Us-Out fund, be sure to send inquiries to #FreePippyAndHerSeoul as soon as possible.
2
