I'm devastated after wife's affair.

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Gozinia said:
maybe one maybe both or maybe I'm a shareholder in the company...anyways... I notice you're teaching only forgiveness neglecting any sense of duty...Similar to steal what you want then ask forgiveness later...The 20 things you have posted relating to controlling behavior are irrelevant after infidelity...Unwashed tombs huh? (nice way of changing God's word)... Which is greater... forgiveness or God's covenant which was broken to warrant seeking forgiveness to begin with?
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You're also a scary person. I didn't say I was afraid of you, I'm saying it's scary to think people like you have the liberty to come onto this site and push people away from Jesus with your spite. And if you're a shareholder in this company, this site is doomed. You've already threatened me in a previous thread and now you're hinting that you have authority over me because you're an investor in CC. I can tell you this, you best put me on ignore rather than incite me, pal. I don't play fair with internet bullies. :mad:
 
It's too bad that ALL the bullies and trolls on this site haven't been banned yet.. but they will be..their mouths get them into trouble every time..
 
Praise God that they don't tolerate cyber bullying on this site. I am so thankful this Christian site is very swift and efficient in getting rid of bullies.
 
VioletReigns said:

Your whole post borders on religious extremism with all its condemnation, unforgiveness, accusations, assumptions, demands and hate. If there were control issues in their marriage before, your foolish advice will only intensify it. To instruct this man to dishonor his wife by informing their children of their mother's error, to expose her to the church, to order his wife to write a contrite apology to the wife of the other man, to police her like a criminal until she has merited his trust, to continue using spy apps, is so contrary to what Jesus says, I can hardly believe you would even dare to post such barbaric legalism! You're playing God!

You have pretty much stoned this woman publicly and are pacifying this man's anger and unforgiveness, of which he admitted he is struggling with. You honestly frighten me with your outlandish hate for his wife. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that Tedy does NOT take your wrath-fueled advice and instead gets some godly counsel from someone who is spiritually mature and who exhibits the wisdom and love of God for the sake of his family.

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And you wonder why its on my ignore list.

Misery loves company and the proof is definitely in the pudding with this one.

Run Forrest, run!
 
VioletReigns said:
You're also a scary person. I didn't say I was afraid of you, I'm saying it's scary to think people like you have the liberty to come onto this site and push people away from Jesus with your spite. And if you're a shareholder in this company, this site is doomed. You've already threatened me in a previous thread and now you're hinting that you have authority over me because you're an investor in CC. I can tell you this, you best put me on ignore rather than incite me, pal. I don't play fair with internet bullies. :mad:
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Sit back, relax and allow me to be threatened, my Sister. That's just my game.
 
"Gozinia
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Banned
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Lurking for six months, then pops off and BAM! ...

Gone. And good riddance.
 
TedyBareHeart said:
Need help to overcome the extreme pain and rage.
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Brother Tedy, I'm sorry your thread got derailed with debating. This is your thread and you're seeking guidance. Again, I recommend you get professional Christian counseling so you can express your anger and pain in a healthy atmosphere without interruptions and numerous opinions. You need to begin healing and a wise Christian counselor will help you do that.

There is such freedom in letting things go into God's hands and trusting Him to work things out for your good. He is so faithful and will not let you fall. His love is unfailing, Tedy. I know many people here are praying for you and can empathize with your broken heart and painful thoughts. As it's written, when one part of the body hurts, we all hurt. I hope you keep in touch with us here and let us know how things are going. You are not alone, brother!
 
TedyBareHeart said:
Need help to overcome the extreme pain and rage.
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Roughly 85% of long term marriages experience some form of infidelity at some point, and most people never see it coming because they expect their partners will be in the 15% who don't cheat. Most married people don't fulfill their partners' expectations in that regard, so it's not just you. So try not to hang blame, because if you do, it makes it a whole lot more painful for everyone involved. If humans are flawed, then your wife is flawed, too. She's no angel. She never was an angel, and she never will be an angel.

I suspect that you've put her on an untouchable pedestal for so many years that you forgot who she really was (assuming you ever actually knew). That's probably why she cheated in the first place. And when she did cheat, and when you found out, that would have shattered your deluded perception that you'd married a saint. That's where most of the pain you feel comes from; a broken expectation. It makes you feel like you're now married to some stranger. "Who is this woman? How could she be this way?"

The reality is that she's the same person she always was. The upshot of this whole situtation is that now you have a chance to get to know the woman who shares your bed for real.

If I were you, that's where I'd start. By getting to know her again.

The funny thing is, you'll probably end up closer than you've ever been.
 
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blue_ladybug said:
Forget asking her again to tell you the truth. Obviously she doesn't want to and isn't going to. YOU play the recording that you have, to her and ask her to explain it. Tell her you have solid proof of her infidelities. Tape recordings and video doesn't lie. When confronted with the truth, she WILL have to 'fess up..
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The only thing is will she fess up because she is really sorry or because she was caught?
 
Thank you everyone for all the comments and advise. I decided to talk to our pastor (yet). I know Jesus Christ is the best counsellor of all..but I'm weak... I need support and advise from God's witnesses in this world to overcome my anxiety. My wife's reluctance for me to reveal this to our immediate pastor made me seek advices in this christian forum... thanks to violetereign and all.. i follow your advise..
 
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