Hello all,
I'm new here and am in desperate need of some advice. My husband and I have been married for over 11 years now and have beautiful twin boys. We've had our share of marriage problems over the years, we were even seperated back in 2010 but with help from a Christian counselor we were able to repair our marriage and these past 7 years (I thought) have been great. But just a few weeks ago my husband tells me he's not happy, and doesn't feel like he's loved and that I only have negative things to say. I was completely shocked. I mean, life has gotten super busy. He works 80+hrs a week and I'm a full time mom to our 20month old boys. But just because we're busy doesn't mean I don't love and aprecitate all that he does! I'm not the best at expressing my feelings and I have always been a "Glass half full" kinda person but that's something he's always known about me.
So know that he's told me this I've been trying to monitor myself and trying to show him I love him with little notes and making certain foods only he likes and trying to be more positive, and in return he tells me it's not enough or in one of the notes he scribbled over nice things I said and made snide remarks. For someone who has a hard enough time expressing myself, that just felt like a slap in the face. I just feel so discouraged and sad. How do I make someone feel loved when in return all I get back is negativity? How do I stay positive when I just want to lash out and tell him to grow up?
I don't want a divorce, I want our children to grow up in a happy home with love all around them. But how after 11 years do you fall back in love with your spouse? I love him and we work well together, but apparently we're not IN love with each other..
I'm new here and am in desperate need of some advice. My husband and I have been married for over 11 years now and have beautiful twin boys. We've had our share of marriage problems over the years, we were even seperated back in 2010 but with help from a Christian counselor we were able to repair our marriage and these past 7 years (I thought) have been great. But just a few weeks ago my husband tells me he's not happy, and doesn't feel like he's loved and that I only have negative things to say. I was completely shocked. I mean, life has gotten super busy. He works 80+hrs a week and I'm a full time mom to our 20month old boys. But just because we're busy doesn't mean I don't love and aprecitate all that he does! I'm not the best at expressing my feelings and I have always been a "Glass half full" kinda person but that's something he's always known about me.
So know that he's told me this I've been trying to monitor myself and trying to show him I love him with little notes and making certain foods only he likes and trying to be more positive, and in return he tells me it's not enough or in one of the notes he scribbled over nice things I said and made snide remarks. For someone who has a hard enough time expressing myself, that just felt like a slap in the face. I just feel so discouraged and sad. How do I make someone feel loved when in return all I get back is negativity? How do I stay positive when I just want to lash out and tell him to grow up?
I don't want a divorce, I want our children to grow up in a happy home with love all around them. But how after 11 years do you fall back in love with your spouse? I love him and we work well together, but apparently we're not IN love with each other..