Should Christians Use Dating Apps?

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

Should Christians Use Dating Apps?

I don't date. I'm happy in my singleness!

However, I watch too many true crime documentaries, so if I ever do want to date, I'd be too terrified to use dating apps!

 

[Churchgoer]

Hence me hiding up in the sound booth.

Yeah, the girls are looking for you

 

[Lynx]

Yeah, the girls are looking for you

Maybe. Maybe not. I have no idea, but I'm not going to chance it.

 

[cinder]

Singleness is the default state for all human beings, marriage on the other hand is a conscious choice, if not THE most risky and consequential choice in your entire life, it's only for those who can handle it, who can actually be a blessing to their spouse, instead of using them as mere breeders for the "continuation of the species". If singleness is a "problem" to you, don't expect it to be "fixed" by marriage, it'll only expose and magnify your existing problems.

Well we all start out unable to read or speak or control our bladders or walk as well. Are those also the default states of human beings? Should we seek to preserve those states as inherently good?

But don't worry, we're all completely supportive of you remaining single. We completely agree the world is better off that way.

 

[Lovette]

Well we all start out unable to read or speak or control our bladders or walk as well. Are those also the default states of human beings? Should we seek to preserve those states as inherently good?

But don't worry, we're all completely supportive of you remaining single. We completely agree the world is better off that way.

Does reading or speaking or controling our bladders or walking take another human being to fulfill YOUR personal need, YOUR own desire?

Besides, reading or speaking or controling our bladders or walking are necessary for survival, is that the same for dating? Will it kill you to keep your pants up and your fly zipped?

 

[Snackersmom]

Does reading or speaking or controling our bladders or walking take another human being to fulfill YOUR personal need, YOUR own desire?

Besides, reading or speaking or controling our bladders or walking are necessary for survival, is that the same for dating? Will it kill you to keep your pants up and your fly zipped?

Hi lovette, just FYI if you are under the impression dating requires coercion and dropping your pants, I regret to inform you that you have been horribly misled

 

[Lovette]

Hi lovette, just FYI if you are under the impression dating requires coercion and dropping your pants, I regret to inform you that you have been horribly misled

Yeah, this kind of lewd behavior had sparked a world wide movement against it, known as #MeToo almost 9 years ago, it had wrecked the whole dating market with mistrust between men and women, and now I'm misled, while you're the one who probably couldn't see the forest for the trees?

 

[Lovette]

Well we all start out unable to read or speak or control our bladders or walk as well. Are those also the default states of human beings? Should we seek to preserve those states as inherently good?

But don't worry, we're all completely supportive of you remaining single. We completely agree the world is better off that way.

And btw, we all may lose these abilities - reading, speaking, controlling, our bladders, walking, in our twilight years, for a man in his old age is twice a child, back to our default state. Just saying.

 

[Lovette]

I'm fortunate to know some single guys who are highly active in their church.

I understand that it seems like churches today have moved more towards being "women's spaces"... which can't seem very welcoming to men.

I also have to wonder if the reason why more single men aren't involved in the "big responsibility" positions is because:

1. "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt at teaching." -- 1 Timothy 3:2

2. "An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient." -- Titus 1:6

I could be wrong, but I think many churches take this as being that a man of high position should ideally be married, favoring married candidates for such placements over single men. (Again, I might be wrong, but it seems to be the case in the churches I've seen, unless it's a youth pastor -- and even then, most I've known were married or got married within a few years.)

It's unfortunate, but there is a bias against single men working with children, meaning that single men will often not be chosen for positions that many single women are often seen filling -- such as teaching children.

I don't think many parents are comfortable having men teach their young children (and if they did, married men would be seen as "safer" than single men, which is unfair but what most people seem to believe.)

Of course I realize there are social reasons for these beliefs, and of course, women can be a danger to others as well, but it appears that churches understandably go with what they think will be the "least problematic" candidates.

It's a sad thing, but I don't know if there are many churches that actually let single men have much leadership in any area -- which hurts both the church, and single men looking for an outlet to put their leadership skills into practice.

I had a guy friend who was always volunteering for this and that, but it was all busy work. It seems the staff had their own choice circle of those they wanted to keep in the "real" positions, and he was an outsider.

Discouraged, he finally left, because he was never allowed more responsibility, even though he asked and worked hard for it.

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 are simply a disapproval on polyamory and polygamy, in accordance with the instruction, "let each man has his own wife and each woman have her own husband." It shouldn't be taken as a hard qualification for church leadership, after all, Paul himself was unmarried, neither was Timothy or Titus, there's no hsitorical or biblical evidence of their marriage. This idolatry of marriage was rather a modern sentiment against sexual revolution, hookup culture, homosexuality and other sexual immoralities.

 

[Churchgoer]

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6
Common practice in most church is divorced remarried men shall not hold pastors elders positions.

Teaching occasionally is ok.

 

[Churchgoer]

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6
Common practice in most church is divorced remarried men shall not hold pastors elders positions.

Teaching occasionally is ok.

I only recently find out Charles stanley was divorced. But he decided not to marry again as long as his ex wife still around. I give him a lot of credit for that.

 

[seoulsearch]

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 are simply a disapproval on polyamory and polygamy, in accordance with the instruction, "let each man has his own wife and each woman have her own husband." It shouldn't be taken as a hard qualification for church leadership, after all, Paul himself was unmarried, neither was Timothy or Titus, there's no hsitorical or biblical evidence of their marriage. This idolatry of marriage was rather a modern sentiment against sexual revolution, hookup culture, homosexuality and other sexual immoralities.

1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6
Common practice in most church is divorced remarried men shall not hold pastors elders positions.

Teaching occasionally is ok.

Yes.

But my point was that churches, at least the ones I have been in, rarely, if ever, have single men who have never been married in top leadership positions.

I know what the verses say and what they mean.

But what congregations adhere to in real life can look different.

 

[Churchgoer]

Yes.

But my point was that churches, at least the ones I have been in, rarely, if ever, have single men who have never been married in top leadership positions.

I know what the verses say and what they mean.

But what congregations adhere to in real life can look different.

Possible reason is qualifications, not about marriage status, but personal qualifications.
Such as, social skills, communication skills, how to deal with crisis .... not to mention theology background.

In my church circle, I know a guy in top position, he is always single, but he is looking.

 

[Lovette]

Yes.

But my point was that churches, at least the ones I have been in, rarely, if ever, have single men who have never been married in top leadership positions.

I know what the verses say and what they mean.

But what congregations adhere to in real life can look different.

That is only the norm in modern American churches, which do not represent all the churches in the world and the entire church history. It is the opposite in Catholic church though, celibacy is the requirement for priesthood.

And although unfortunately I've left to you the impression that I'm against marriage, that is never my intention. My point is that marriage is rather a burden and a privilege, it's only for the qualified couples who can handle it, not for everyone; and most importantly, singleness is not inferior or problematic, marriage is not superior or complete. As much as there's no male and female, no gentile and jews, no free or bound, so is there no married or single, for all are one in Christ.

 

[Churchgoer]

From scripture point of view, marriage is a gift from God.
Even Adam got a nice wife, though he quickly throw her under the bus
Even Abraham got a nice wife, though he kind of told other men to have her

No one is perfect.

 

[Snackersmom]

Yeah, this kind of lewd behavior had sparked a world wide movement against it, known as #MeToo almost 9 years ago, it had wrecked the whole dating market with mistrust between men and women, and now I'm misled, while you're the one who probably couldn't see the forest for the trees?

I am familiar with #MeToo. Worldly people do worldly things.

Worldly people also try to coerce Christians to do Worldly things, sometimes by force. Which is a horrible crime.

But to say that dropping your pants is a requirement for dating these days is an absolute insult to the small handful of guys I have dated. Godly men who had boundaries and kept their pants zipped.

Perhaps you see such restrained behavior as impossible, but with God all things are possible.

That's the whole point of following Christ; He gives us victory over the flesh so we don't have to date the same way the world does, or treat each other the way Worldly people treat each other.

However, if you don't think you could go out with a lady without dropping your pants then I do agree it's best to stay away from females until you learn some self-control

 

[Lovette]

I am familiar with #MeToo. Worldly people do worldly things.

Worldly people also try to coerce Christians to do Worldly things, sometimes by force. Which is a horrible crime.

But to say that dropping your pants is a requirement for dating these days is an absolute insult to the small handful of guys I have dated. Godly men who had boundaries and kept their pants zipped.

Perhaps you see such restrained behavior as impossible, but with God all things are possible.

I absolutely see it as possible, I myself never behave like that, neither do I know anybody who behaves like that. However, it is the ladies who may see it as impossible, that's the legacy of #MeToo. Every man is presumed to be a perpatrator until proven godly. Dating is worldly thing, if not THE most worldly thing, and I just don't wanna get myself into this mess, at best a waste of my spare time to no avail, at worst getting myself in trouble and traumatized.

 

[Lanolin]

Answer to OP

No, but some will anyway to their cost. I don't think they are free.

 

[Snackersmom]

I absolutely see it as possible, I myself never behave like that, neither do I know anybody who behaves like that. However, it is the ladies who may see it as impossible, that's the legacy of #MeToo. Every man is presumed to be a perpatrator until proven godly. Dating is worldly thing, if not THE most worldly thing, and I just don't wanna get myself into this mess, at best a waste of my spare time to no avail, at worst getting myself in trouble and traumatized.

If you see it as possible then why are you promoting the worldly notion that it is impossible?

 

[Churchgoer]

If you see it as possible then why are you promoting the worldly notion that it is impossible?

Many faithful Christians date according to Bible teaching, as we see in our church circles.

Focus on the faithful ones.