So....why are you not married?

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The vast majority of singles I have encountered in the church are just as self centered and worldly as those who are lost. Self centeredness always results in drama and I simply can't stand drama. I don't understand why anyone would to selfishly push the buttons of the person that they have to wake up to each and every morning. There is absolutely no reason for a married christian couple to have an argument. If my spouse were to absolutely insist that things had to be a certain way, then I wouldn't argue with her at all. I'd let her have her way and do my very best to make sure her decision is a success, all the while keeping an eye on those areas where things could potentially go wrong. If things work out then I'll be more than happy to give her the praise that she deserves. If things don't work out then I'll be right by her side working to resolve the issue TOGETHER.

I know that this may sound a little crazy but I'm already completely committed to my wife although she and I have yet to meet.
 
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Crossfire said:
The vast majority of singles I have encountered in the church are just as self centered and worldly as those who are lost. Self centeredness always results in drama and I simply can't stand drama. I don't understand why anyone would to selfishly push the buttons of the person that they have to wake up to each and every morning. There is absolutely no reason for a married christian couple to have an argument. If my spouse were to absolutely insist that things had to be a certain way, then I wouldn't argue with her at all. I'd let her have her way and do my very best to make sure her decision is a success, all the while keeping an eye on those areas where things could potentially go wrong. If things work out then I'll be more than happy to give her the praise that she deserves. If things don't work out then I'll be right by her side working to resolve the issue TOGETHER.

I know that this may sound a little crazy but I'm already completely committed to my wife although she and I have yet to meet.
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----I try not to judge others and fellowship is something God wants us to do and church is a good place for that. The Lord leads.

--crossfyre, what I do like that you say is about support your wife over a disagreement rather than argue. I see good Godly wisdom for guys to do marriage right by this kind of self-sacrifice and other-edification. That seems a significant way to be blessed by God, for the both of you. :)
---
God does say in Proverbs that a man who finds a good wife finds a good thing and I feel that one can make that finding much easier by being a servant. Serving your other half is how you become complete.
.........
And, just wo you all know, I know that being self-sacrificing is difficult but I promise you if you put her first in your friendship, getting to know her stage , as God leads you on then the married bells I feel are that much closer to chiming. :)

Our oneness in Christ in our single life, serving Him, will show Him that you are ready for a 'her.'

Yoy will answer julieannie's question differently perhaps now
 
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No one has asked me this, as techically I am married (recently separated- an in Australia you must prove separation for 12mths before you can file for divorce). My situation hasn't come out in the open to EVERYONE yet, but when it does, I'm bracing myself for the 'So, what happened, have you had counselling, will you reconcile' speech yada yada.

Personally, I wish people would just butt out of other peoples' lives. This whole situation is hard enough to face without people expecting me to give them a detailed run-down of the entire scenario, and frankly, I don't believe I owe anyone an explanation.

Having had that little rant, I can somehow relate to the topic at hand. My pet peeve used to be when people asked 'So, when are you having Children?'. I HATED that question, and had to refrain from replying with 'I dunno, when are you gonna die?!'.

People these days just say what they think, albeit well-meaning, but sometimes they just don't think before they speak.
 
My goodness Katie, are you handling things ok? Dumb question I know... I'm so sorry to hear that, will be praying for you. :(
 
Stuey,

No, not a dumb question. I'm handling things as well as can be expected, I guess, considering.

Thanks, it's comforting knowing people are praying, cos right now it's hard to figure out what words to say when I pray. I feel like I'm praying in circles.
 
When words get in the way, don't say, just pray.

:)

Long time no talkie, too, so, hiey to you, iraasUP , blessings to you for your faithfulness to Him, trust and obey, for there's no other way . Proverbs 3: 5,6, and, 7 . The Lord leads; Follow, that beeth the only way to understand true truth and to see right wisdom from Him, and to give mercy to others and to be highly pleasing looking in the eyes of our Saviour. To be or not to be, that is.not even a question, we followers want to be with Him.

I'm praying for you, Iraa, I pray God speaks to you great things that let you know you are fearfully and wonderfully made and were made His forevermore the moment you took Him into your heart :)
 
GreenNnice said:
----I try not to judge others and fellowship is something God wants us to do and church is a good place for that. The Lord leads.

--crossfyre, what I do like that you say is about support your wife over a disagreement rather than argue. I see good Godly wisdom for guys to do marriage right by this kind of self-sacrifice and other-edification. That seems a significant way to be blessed by God, for the both of you. :)
---
God does say in Proverbs that a man who finds a good wife finds a good thing and I feel that one can make that finding much easier by being a servant. Serving your other half is how you become complete.
.........
And, just wo you all know, I know that being self-sacrificing is difficult but I promise you if you put her first in your friendship, getting to know her stage , as God leads you on then the married bells I feel are that much closer to chiming. :)

Our oneness in Christ in our single life, serving Him, will show Him that you are ready for a 'her.'

Yoy will answer julieannie's question differently perhaps now
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As you can probably tell, I take issue with the modern church. Many churches today insist upon maintaining a 'positive' attitude however, if you look closely behind the scenes, all of those smiling faces are really 'masks' people wear to hide personal struggles and hidden sin. The truth comes out when someone in the congregation faces a real struggle, take depression for example, and all those smiling faces are frowning as they run from those who are struggling and need a helping hand as if they had the plague. I've found that a 'positive' church is usually a church in denial. :)

I want a wife who is a 'mother' at heart. Someone who's heart bleeds for those who are hurting or are less fortunate. Maybe I should join hit the missions field?
 
Crossfire said:
As you can probably tell, I take issue with the modern church. Many churches today insist upon maintaining a 'positive' attitude however, if you look closely behind the scenes, all of those smiling faces are really 'masks' people wear to hide personal struggles and hidden sin. The truth comes out when someone in the congregation faces a real struggle, take depression for example, and all those smiling faces are frowning as they run from those who are struggling and need a helping hand as if they had the plague. I've found that a 'positive' church is usually a church in denial. :)

I want a wife who is a 'mother' at heart. Someone who's heart bleeds for those who are hurting or are less fortunate. Maybe I should join hit the missions field?
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Maybe. :)

----
Maybe not more than 'maybe' for positive church. Personally , If my church were with denial issues and happy for the good, fun things , and, running from helping others in need, I think that would be God speaking to me in my singleness to become a bigger part of my church. Woo-hooo, what an honor, and, blessing , thank you, God, for choosing me.
Therefore, I would be one , I pray, that would step up to the plate and offer help to someone disadvantaged, handicapped, etc.
And, yes, the Lord leads us in this área of help , unmistakably so, if we are a willing vessel, crossfyre.
:)
And,I am not saying you don't help in your church, I am just saying through experience what I've done and in so doing have indeed receieved help and provision in the process. :)
The Lord leads. Proverbs 16:9
 
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Ha ha ha, I get asked that question all the time...from my students :) I am student teaching right now, and every time I get to a new class there is always a kid who wants to know why I am not married yet. I take it as a compliment that they expect me to be married...but at the same time they probably assume that someone working in a professional capacity has all their ducks in a row by now.
 
GreenNnice said:
When words get in the way, don't say, just pray.

:)

I'm praying for you, Iraa, I pray God speaks to you great things that let you know you are fearfully and wonderfully made and were made His forevermore the moment you took Him into your heart :)
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Ditto I will pray for you as well
 
I'd probably just say, cuz I'm not old enough... But if I were... I'd tell them, it's because my cowboy with shining spurs, hasn't found me yet :p
 
when i was 16 years old i remember that i used to say "im not old enought to marry" and "i would like to focus on my school" but i cant say that now :o
 
Ugh... I'd rather spend more time with my friends... And throw my homework in the fire... Right now, I'm sayin' I'm open for whenever God decides to give me the man of my dreams. I'm turning 17 in two months, which my dad is dreading, because he's "so sure" guys will be lining up. Ha! I doubt it.
 
GreenNnice said:
Maybe. :)

----
Maybe not more than 'maybe' for positive church. Personally , If my church were with denial issues and happy for the good, fun things , and, running from helping others in need, I think that would be God speaking to me in my singleness to become a bigger part of my church. Woo-hooo, what an honor, and, blessing , thank you, God, for choosing me.
Therefore, I would be one , I pray, that would step up to the plate and offer help to someone disadvantaged, handicapped, etc.
And, yes, the Lord leads us in this área of help , unmistakably so, if we are a willing vessel, crossfyre.
:)
And,I am not saying you don't help in your church, I am just saying through experience what I've done and in so doing have indeed receieved help and provision in the process. :)
The Lord leads. Proverbs 16:9
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Believe me I tried. I served for years in a church with a "positive" attitude. I'm very gung-ho and believe in facing issues head on. Yet, every time a real sensitive issue would come up, for example some of our teen boys were struggling with pornography, no one wanted to step up and deal with. Not one man in the church outside of myself was willing to get their hands dirty to address this issue. Instead they were too busy playing church league softball and getting together to watch MMA on Saturday nights. So much for spiritual fathers huh?

Needless to say I left that church and now attend one of the most proactive churches in the United States in the area of youth evangelism and discipleship. I can't begin to describe what a relief and a blessing it is to be in a congregation of like minded people. We will change the world! :)
 
"I'm sorry, I am no longer accepting applications for 'husband/boyfriend'." That position has been tentatively filled till further notice.

How's that for a new PM message?? ;)
 
I have to be honest and say that I've never had anyone ask me that question. :)
 
I reply,"Because I couldn't afford it. Because I don't speak up. Because I don't know any smart girls. Because my cousin beat me to her..."
 
christiancollegegirl said:
"I'm sorry, I am no longer accepting applications for 'husband/boyfriend'." That position has been tentatively filled till further notice.

How's that for a new PM message?? ;)
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Ha. Congrats. I'd say it's great for the 1 out of 10 people who will actually read it and pay attention to it. The other 9 would still like to marry you tomorrow, especially if they are from a far away place. :D

P.S. ~ You, Alayna, and your avatars are confusing. It always makes me have to look twice to see who is posting. :P
 
no one asks me that.....



wait.... why doesnt anyone ask me that??
 
Crossfire said:
Believe me I tried. I served for years in a church with a "positive" attitude. I'm very gung-ho and believe in facing issues head on. Yet, every time a real sensitive issue would come up, for example some of our teen boys were struggling with pornography, no one wanted to step up and deal with. Not one man in the church outside of myself was willing to get their hands dirty to address this issue. Instead they were too busy playing church league softball and getting together to watch MMA on Saturday nights. So much for spiritual fathers huh?

Needless to say I left that church and now attend one of the most proactive churches in the United States in the area of youth evangelism and discipleship. I can't begin to describe what a relief and a blessing it is to be in a congregation of like minded people. We will change the world! :)
Click to expand...


I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I left a church because it was so fake and just blah in general. The church I attend now is VERY accepting of people with hurts, habits, and hang ups. We have a program called Cebrate Recovery which deals with addicitons of any kind and sort. It has changed my life, and I've watched God work intensely in the lives of others. Being with like minded people is such an amazing thing!
 
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