Ha ha ha, I get asked that question all the time...from my studentsI am student teaching right now, and every time I get to a new class there is always a kid who wants to know why I am not married yet. I take it as a compliment that they expect me to be married...but at the same time they probably assume that someone working in a professional capacity has all their ducks in a row by now.
Last night I asked a couple of them why THEY thought I hadn't remarried yet, which is something I've never had the nerve to do before. This was what they had to say:
). Not much else because they aren't looking that deep."; and Maybe a dose of brutal honesty might be helpful to them as well. One day they'll be whining about the bad boys, grow up and come to appreciate the nice guys more. That's where the "one day you'll make someone a great husband" thing comes into play.Women can look at me as eye candy all they want!
____-Best excuse ever for going shopping
One of the cool things about having guy friends who are cops is that they can be trusted to cut to the chase and tell you the brutal truth.
1. "Guys look at highly attractive women like you and only see your entertainment value (they WERE kind enough not to say "sex", which helped a little bit
2. "Even the nice guys don't look far beyond that because they assume that women like you are high maintenance or too much of a challenge."
If it wasn't for the presence of God in a woman's life, I would imagine the bite of this dose of reality could make one highly cynical. In law enforcement we have a saying, "In God I trust. Everyone else, lemme see your hands." One might begin to have the same attitude with regard to relationships at some point because of things like this.
I don't want it to sound as if I'm man bashing. I'm not. I've had guy friends who've said most women only looked at them as eye candy as well, so apparently that door swings both ways.
While I'm mulling this all over, I thought I would post it here, as there may be other ladies/gents in the same boat who are wondering what in the world is wrong with them.
The question then becomes what one is to do with this information. The only answer spinning in my mind is that one simply trusts God to protect them from such things, that someday someone will be able to see them more clearly, and hopes that one's heart won't be too guarded at that point to be open to a relationship.
Since a couple of guys were kind enough to be brutally honest with me last night, I'm going to try and be brutally honest about the "you're too nice" thing. Here it is:
Guys know and appreciate "the chase" during their dating phases, but they don't realize that a lot of women, too, appreciate "the chase" in an entirely different way. If a guy is too easy or too nice, they don't present enough of a challenge to these women and the women become bored. That's why so many prefer the bad boy. He needs to be "fixed" and presents more of a challenge.
You nailed it though. It IS insane.
However, I have experienced the same sort of behavior in christian guys several times. I don't date non-christians. I always get into trouble when I go looking for something on my own. And I'm in no hurry.
