the not kissing before marriage game
- Thread starter RoboOp
- Start date
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There's such a rush for teens and young adults to experience sex. In all honesty, sex with someone you don't have an emotional connection with, just isn't satisfying. Sure, in the moment you might enjoy it, especially if you're with an experienced person, but those feeling are usually replaced by guilt and shame.
You're giving away a part of you that you can only give away once in your entire life. It seems to me that sharing something so valuable would be appreciated more by someone who shares love and commitment with. I do respect people who choose to wait. It shows that they value themselves and that seems an indicator that they have theorals and decency to value YOU. That's so important.
You're giving away a part of you that you can only give away once in your entire life. It seems to me that sharing something so valuable would be appreciated more by someone who shares love and commitment with. I do respect people who choose to wait. It shows that they value themselves and that seems an indicator that they have theorals and decency to value YOU. That's so important.
It seems like it might work for some, but I don't think it would for me. My love language is Physical Touch through and through! 
If I don't get some hugs and cuddles (and kisses too) I'm going to have a hard time being confident in our relationship. I'm very tactile with my friends and sister. It's not sexual. It's about being comfortable with someone. A kiss on the lips, peck on the cheek, kiss on the forehead can say "I love you." "I'm here for you." and so much more.
My main concern is two fold. One, if there is no physical intimacy (kissing, cuddling, holding hands, closeness) before marriage, how would you know that there would be after. For someone like myself that would be very difficult. A personal worry for myself would be that I would rush to marriage for the sake of that intimacy (not talking sex).
Secondly, it's reminding me how the religious leaders took Jewish laws too far in Jesus' time. It was no longer about honoring the Lord but being good. Is saving your first kiss for the alter about loving your partner? Is it a sin to kiss before hand? Does it make you better than someone eles?
If I don't get some hugs and cuddles (and kisses too) I'm going to have a hard time being confident in our relationship. I'm very tactile with my friends and sister. It's not sexual. It's about being comfortable with someone. A kiss on the lips, peck on the cheek, kiss on the forehead can say "I love you." "I'm here for you." and so much more. My main concern is two fold. One, if there is no physical intimacy (kissing, cuddling, holding hands, closeness) before marriage, how would you know that there would be after. For someone like myself that would be very difficult. A personal worry for myself would be that I would rush to marriage for the sake of that intimacy (not talking sex).
Secondly, it's reminding me how the religious leaders took Jewish laws too far in Jesus' time. It was no longer about honoring the Lord but being good. Is saving your first kiss for the alter about loving your partner? Is it a sin to kiss before hand? Does it make you better than someone eles?
I agree, very abnormal and unrealistic. Next there will be no holding hands. I must be missing something here or I just don't get it. Unreal.Totally abnormal Robo
I was a child raised with sexual abuse and so I was promiscuous in Jr. High and High School. I look back 30 years ago and I can see that for me it was a screwed up way of searching for love and validation from a Male.
I married for love but obviously a big part leading up to my marriage was premarital sex..."normal" for me. Who would have guessed I would marry a habitual cheater and be divorced 20 years later.
I found myself back on the dating scene looking for validation and love from a man instead of tearing the walls down around this prodigal daughters heart and returning to the arms of Jesus and letting Him love me.
A few more relationships...things falling apart...finally having a head on collision with the floor at Jesus' feet. At the end of myself.
I have been celibate for a very long time, but lust of the flesh is a daily battle. I'm not worried as much about the physical barrier...I struggle most with control of the mental barrier.
I want to wait until marriage because that's the way God intended it and for once in my life, I want to feel that it really is my choice and not because I need love and validation from someone else, but because I love myself and Jesus loves me and validates me. It is a struggle though.
I've know many couples who waited and I've never seen any marriage that works better. There's no baggage of past sexual encounters to wonder about in the back of your mind or compare your spouse to...and nothing to resent or fight about. Marriage is hard enough work without adding more.
Great topic Robo.
In 2018 in USA, I respect any guy or girl who can resist not even kissing until marriage.
Definitely a very rare diamond in the rough. Probably about 1-2%
As for no sex before marriage? Probably about 10-15%
Just pure guesses from a city living guy.
Kissing the wrong ones, tells you which is the RIGHT one for you....How else can you tell?
Like Cher's Shoop Shoop song, It's in his kiss
Definitely a very rare diamond in the rough. Probably about 1-2%
As for no sex before marriage? Probably about 10-15%
Just pure guesses from a city living guy.
Kissing the wrong ones, tells you which is the RIGHT one for you....How else can you tell?
Like Cher's Shoop Shoop song, It's in his kiss
No, I was just attempting to inject a little humor with the word 'respect' and changed it to suspect. Don't worry, you are doing fine.
I can't see how saving the first kiss until married is a display of love towards your partner. No, it is not a sin to kiss before marriage. Definitely does not make you better. Really, I don't see how it is even possible to date without kissing for the whole dating period. After all, kissing is a show of affection.
R
RodB65
Guest
I do too!
I mean, sometimes you just gotta look at your date, and say it...
"Baby, you and me been dating a long time, and I hope my attempts at wooing you have not been in vain...
I sure would like some sugar..."
(My date adds a teaspoon of sugar to my coffee, and smiles...)
"No, that's not what I meant... "
...it has been my experience that a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down too.I do too!
I mean, sometimes you just gotta look at your date, and say it...
"Baby, you and me been dating a long time, and I hope my attempts at wooing you have not been in vain...
I sure would like some sugar..."
(My date adds a teaspoon of sugar to my coffee, and smiles...)
"No, that's not what I meant... "
R
RodB65
Guest
Perhaps she could at least give the coffee a swirl after added the sugar.I do too!
I mean, sometimes you just gotta look at your date, and say it...
"Baby, you and me been dating a long time, and I hope my attempts at wooing you have not been in vain...
I sure would like some sugar..."
(My date adds a teaspoon of sugar to my coffee, and smiles...)
"No, that's not what I meant... "
R
RodB65
Guest
I do too!
I mean, sometimes you just gotta look at your date, and say it...
"Baby, you and me been dating a long time, and I hope my attempts at wooing you have not been in vain...
I sure would like some sugar..."
(My date adds a teaspoon of sugar to my coffee, and smiles...)
"No, that's not what I meant... "
(So, she slowly stirs my coffee a bit...)
I'm thinking to myself, she just put sugar in my coffee and she stirred it... Oh no she didn't,.. Oh yes she did...
by this time, I notice that she has moved much closer to me. I turn to look at her and....
My alarm clock starts blasting the hallelujah chorus...
just a dream...
I sigh deeply...
(So, she slowly stirs my coffee a bit...)
I'm thinking to myself, she just put sugar in my coffee and she stirred it... Oh no she didn't,.. Oh yes she did...
by this time, I notice that she has moved much closer to me. I turn to look at her and....
My alarm clock starts blasting the hallelujah chorus...
just a dream...
I sigh deeply...
That's so sad
Maybe her next move would have been to get close to you and drink your coffee! That would have been a nightmare!
I thought I was incorrigible! Maaaaan! I'm cracking up here.
Well, I'm a virgin (again) and I believe you're kissing your sister or brother until you get married. Concerning someone being "good" at it, that's not something a couple who left their parents to cleave to each other have options for. So, as with everything else, like forgiveness etc., if we are commanded then it is doable. Speaking from experience as a superior man of God...no kissie or touchie before marriage is best.
It's not that bad either because the engagement need not be for years. When it's right you know. If it's of God keep it that way. Give God something he can bless.
I'm all for learning as you go. My biggest concern is if her breath is heavenly or demon possessed...that's a deal breaker right there.
K