The Singles Thread

[I_am_Canadian]

So I am not the only one on here who has issues with churches not having a singles ministry.
I am starting this so singles can connect with other singles.

God Knows I need a wife, so feel free to use this as a dating thread as well lol.

 

[Edith]

Hello dear brother,
how does this work? Why am I the first to comment? are we the only ones here?

 

[seoulsearch]

Hello dear brother,
how does this work? Why am I the first to comment? are we the only ones here?

Edith, you look beautiful!

That rose color is stunning on you!

 

[Edith]

Edith, you look beautiful!

That rose color is stunning on you!

Thank you Seoul

 

[cinder]

A dating thread?

Well ok this post is dated March 17, 2026.

And we've had discussions about singles ministries and the lack thereof and it kind of boils down to, churches don't have many singles because they don't have a singles ministry, but why have a singles ministry when there aren't many singles? Plus if you have a singles ministry and singles start meeting and dating and things go bad... what is the church's responsibility? And far too many churches don't have a vision for singles ministry beyond being a sort of christian dating service and they don't really want to do that.

Anyway, what would people like to see offered as a singles ministry?

 

[seoulsearch]

So I am not the only one on here who has issues with churches not having a singles ministry.
I am starting this so singles can connect with other singles.

God Knows I need a wife, so feel free to use this as a dating thread as well lol.

Hi @I_am_Canadian,

Kudos to you for starting this thread!

I do hope people can post here in your thread and get to know each other. We've had a lot of "connection" and "dating" threads here over the years.


One thing I've observed as I get older is how complicated running a Singles Ministry really is. First, there are the age divides, since nowadays "single" can mean 20's right on up to people in their 80's. How can a singles group cater to so many people at so many stages of life?

And as Cinder said, how responsible is the church supposed to be when things go wrong, because believe me, they will. I've done a few experiments with trying to run online Singles Groups and even in Christian circles you will see things like stalking, jealousy, and possession. Even here on the regular forum, I've known of people who had to get the police involved because someone out there took a liking to them and wouldn't take NO for an answer.

Hell hath no entitlement like a Christian person who is convinced that someone is "The One God's Chosen for Me!" and that other person doesn't respond the way they want. And it's all out war if "their" person starts talking to other prospective candidates, or others start talking to them. I had an online situation where a couple broke up, and one would come back to ask me if the other one was talking to someone new.

How would stalking be dealt with in real life? Who steps in when there is misconduct? What happens if someone gets pregnant? Even online, I had some of the ladies coming to me about men in the group who were asking them for nude pictures (I'm certainly not saying it can't be the other way around, but as a woman, women are generally the ones who talk to me.)

How responsible are the leaders for such things, especially when these are people who are in their 40's and up? In one of the real-life churches I was in, a woman in her 40's told me she had to confess and repent to our pastor about some things that had happened; the man involved was not repentant at all and just went to another church to keep looking. (Again, I'm not trying to point the finger at men -- I've heard plenty of stories of women trying to seduce the men as well, but again, as a woman, more women tell me their stories.)

At some point, it becomes like herding cats, except these cats are grown and often a lot bigger than you.

Lynx and I have been hosting an online Forum Meetup chat for several months now and you see the same things you'll find in any "let's meet new people" group -- people understandably get bored, because they expect to be entertained. So, we're trying to experiment with Bible Trivia and other online games we could play to try to keep things fun, and that's part of the challenge. You have to constantly up the ante because once people see who's there, they often leave if they don't find someone in the first few meetings, and trying to keep things running takes a toll.

I'm not trying to complain, I'm just saying, if singles get involved in running an active, ongoing single's ministry, I think they'll understand why churches unfortunately don't attempt them.

 

[Lanolin]

Wow, I've never thought much about singles ministry and what happens and why churches don't have them.
It's usually by age group and gender in most churches, of course the older groups would most likely have more married people in them.

If you want a matchmaking ministry, or a find-a-wife thing, its probably down to an online app like Tinder or something. Not that I recommend, but a lot of people find their match that way. My friend is now a granny because her son met his match on Tinder, even though they lived in opposite ends of the country at first. I can't recall if they married or not (we don't really do that in NZ) but now they have kids - twins in fact.

The only thing about tinder ( I've never used) is that it can be used to stalk women, and hook-ups, and it usually ends badly (for the women). Maybe leave it for the gay men! And so many people mistake being attracted to someone means that that person wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Most likely it isn't and they just wanna have fun.

 

[seoulsearch]

So I am not the only one on here who has issues with churches not having a singles ministry.
I am starting this so singles can connect with other singles.

God Knows I need a wife, so feel free to use this as a dating thread as well lol.

Hello dear brother,
how does this work? Why am I the first to comment? are we the only ones here?

I apologize for derailing the thread.

@I_am_Canadian, how would you like for us to go about this thread?

Write some kind of introduction about ourselves for others to read and possibly respond to?

Funny thing, I recently saw a Singles Meetup at a church -- and it's said there were over 1000 women, and only a handful of men, if any.

Gentleman, if you're looking, maybe there's a church in your area that has odds like this in your favor!

 

[I_am_Canadian]

A dating thread?

Well ok this post is dated March 17, 2026.

And we've had discussions about singles ministries and the lack thereof and it kind of boils down to, churches don't have many singles because they don't have a singles ministry, but why have a singles ministry when there aren't many singles? Plus if you have a singles ministry and singles start meeting and dating and things go bad... what is the church's responsibility? And far too many churches don't have a vision for singles ministry beyond being a sort of christian dating service and they don't really want to do that.

Anyway, what would people like to see offered as a singles ministry?

Sure why not?
I know, personally I hate being single, while others enjoy being single. Regardless why can't single people have their own forum and ministry? The pros, the cons, the ups, the downs, and if you find someone that interests you as a partner or spouse why not explore where that path will lead?

 

[I_am_Canadian]

I apologize for derailing the thread.

@I_am_Canadian, how would you like for us to go about this thread?

Write some kind of introduction about ourselves for others to read and possibly respond to?

Funny thing, I recently saw a Singles Meetup at a church -- and it's said there were over 1000 women, and only a handful of men, if any.

Gentleman, if you're looking, maybe there's a church in your area that has odds like this in your favor!

It's ok, any way you wish, I will try and figure out how to add instructions. Funny thing, the church I attend now is mostly senior citizens and married couples. Just about a week ago, the pastors wife was suggesting starting a womens group similar to the mens group that runs once a month, I volunteered to host as I am looking for a wife.

 

[seoulsearch]

It's ok, any way you wish, I will try and figure out how to add instructions. Funny thing, the church I attend now is mostly senior citizens and married couples. Just about a week ago, the pastors wife was suggesting starting a womens group similar to the mens group that runs once a month, I volunteered to host as I am looking for a wife.

This is awesome!!

You're out walking the walk!!

May God bless you in your search.

If I can be of any help in this thread and what you've envisioned for it, please let me know.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I like sunsets and long walks on the beach. But to me a long walk is about 3 minutes and I would require money for gas and parking.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

Hi @I_am_Canadian,

Kudos to you for starting this thread!

I do hope people can post here in your thread and get to know each other. We've had a lot of "connection" and "dating" threads here over the years.


One thing I've observed as I get older is how complicated running a Singles Ministry really is. First, there are the age divides, since nowadays "single" can mean 20's right on up to people in their 80's. How can a singles group cater to so many people at so many stages of life?

And as Cinder said, how responsible is the church supposed to be when things go wrong, because believe me, they will. I've done a few experiments with trying to run online Singles Groups and even in Christian circles you will see things like stalking, jealousy, and possession. Even here on the regular forum, I've known of people who had to get the police involved because someone out there took a liking to them and wouldn't take NO for an answer.

Hell hath no entitlement like a Christian person who is convinced that someone is "The One God's Chosen for Me!" and that other person doesn't respond the way they want. And it's all out war if "their" person starts talking to other prospective candidates, or others start talking to them. I had an online situation where a couple broke up, and one would come back to ask me if the other one was talking to someone new.

How would stalking be dealt with in real life? Who steps in when there is misconduct? What happens if someone gets pregnant? Even online, I had some of the ladies coming to me about men in the group who were asking them for nude pictures (I'm certainly not saying it can't be the other way around, but as a woman, women are generally the ones who talk to me.)

How responsible are the leaders for such things, especially when these are people who are in their 40's and up? In one of the real-life churches I was in, a woman in her 40's told me she had to confess and repent to our pastor about some things that had happened; the man involved was not repentant at all and just went to another church to keep looking. (Again, I'm not trying to point the finger at men -- I've heard plenty of stories of women trying to seduce the men as well, but again, as a woman, more women tell me their stories.)

At some point, it becomes like herding cats, except these cats are grown and often a lot bigger than you.

Lynx and I have been hosting an online Forum Meetup chat for several months now and you see the same things you'll find in any "let's meet new people" group -- people understandably get bored, because they expect to be entertained. So, we're trying to experiment with Bible Trivia and other online games we could play to try to keep things fun, and that's part of the challenge. You have to constantly up the ante because once people see who's there, they often leave if they don't find someone in the first few meetings, and trying to keep things running takes a toll.

I'm not trying to complain, I'm just saying, if singles get involved in running an active, ongoing single's ministry, I think they'll understand why churches unfortunately don't attempt them.

Thank you.

No one has shared a lot of that information with me, and I am aware that those issues do arise, however I wouldn't expect them to be an issue with genuine bible believing christians, the stalkers and such sound like wolves in sheeps clothing (look and act Christian but are not Christian).

Since this is an online forum and not an actual church any issues would have to be dealt with through the law enforcement where you live and/ or where the person you met lives.

I get it it is hard to cater to such a broad diverse crowd, That is why they usually keep it with in a certain age range like 20-29, 30-39 or 65+ etc... It would be a challenge on here as everyone is a different age group from different countries. That is why the thread was created. for singles to mingle with singles, one lady was thinking of suggesting me to someone at her church, until she found out I was younger than she originally thought, I am 40. So in a singles thread and you know people here are single, than you can decided if you want to chat with them, add them as friends, or block them. Dating isn't manditory on here but it is optional if you find someone you like. If someone shows unethical behaviour on here you can report it to staff.

I would love to try one of your meet up groups, how ever as a Canadian, it is unlikely I will ever be able to attend any events in the US or outside of Canada. But I mean if you wanted to host meet up groups, perhaps local trips and snacks might be a good way to attract and retain a crowd and try old fashioned board games, like Monopoly, life, wheel of fortune, Jeopardy, Jumanji, 13 Dead end Drive etc... as for group trips, picnics in a park, trips to an escape room, an all you can eat buffet etc... If your group wants to pitch in for a large trip, perhaps a weekend in Miami or in Honolulu would be just the ticket.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

This is awesome!!

You're out walking the walk!!

May God bless you in your search.

If I can be of any help in this thread and what you've envisioned for it, please let me know.

Thanks the Christian Dating for free isn't so free anymore, you only get to view a few profiles and you have to pay to make the site worth while.

 

[seoulsearch]

Thank you.

No one has shared a lot of that information with me, and I am aware that those issues do arise, however I wouldn't expect them to be an issue with genuine bible believing christians, the stalkers and such sound like wolves in sheeps clothing (look and act Christian but are not Christian).

Since this is an online forum and not an actual church any issues would have to be dealt with through the law enforcement where you live and/ or where the person you met lives.

I get it it is hard to cater to such a broad diverse crowd, That is why they usually keep it with in a certain age range like 20-29, 30-39 or 65+ etc... It would be a challenge on here as everyone is a different age group from different countries. That is why the thread was created. for singles to mingle with singles, one lady was thinking of suggesting me to someone at her church, until she found out I was younger than she originally thought, I am 40. So in a singles thread and you know people here are single, than you can decided if you want to chat with them, add them as friends, or block them. Dating isn't manditory on here but it is optional if you find someone you like. If someone shows unethical behaviour on here you can report it to staff.

I would love to try one of your meet up groups, how ever as a Canadian, it is unlikely I will ever be able to attend any events in the US or outside of Canada. But I mean if you wanted to host meet up groups, perhaps local trips and snacks might be a good way to attract and retain a crowd and try old fashioned board games, like Monopoly, life, wheel of fortune, Jeopardy, Jumanji, 13 Dead end Drive etc... as for group trips, picnics in a park, trips to an escape room, an all you can eat buffet etc... If your group wants to pitch in for a large trip, perhaps a weekend in Miami or in Honolulu would be just the ticket.

Hi Canadian,

Unfortunately, in any group of Christian-identifying people, you are going to find wolves in sheep's clothing, but even more than that, you are going to find sincere and well-meaning people who are extremely lonely. And for someone, the loneliness can bring out very unpleasant side effects that must be confronted, even when they are genuine Bible believers.

Thank you for giving us an idea of what you'd like this thread to be. I hope I can make some positive contributions.

Just for the record, the meetups I've had with people here on CC have been small, "private" (I'll explain in just a minute,) gatherings with those I've gotten to know over several years here on the forum, through countless emails, and in live chats (so we could see what we were all like in real time and over long amounts of time.) Some people who seemed great on the forums turned out to not be so great in chats (always getting into fights with people, etc.), and some people who might not say much in chats had a lot more to say on the forum or in private emails.

When I say "private," what I mean is, it's never been more than about 6 people at one time, and we all already knew each other well (over years) and/or have already met one or more of the others in person.

We have talked for years about trying to host "free for all" events, saying something like, "Hey, we're going to be here on this day at this time, come on by if you can!" but have always hesitated because of privacy. Our meetups are always close to where at least one person lives, and that person would rather not have just anyone knowing where they are. None of the meetups have ever been close to where I live -- I always have to travel all day by plane to get where others are.

We also had an instance years ago where we kept the group private because we had noticed a person on the forum who seemed to fixate on members of the opposite gender, and their current fixation was someone in our group. I don't think this person was dangerous in any way, but I think if they would have known where this person in our group was located, they would have very strongly pursued them, even though their object of fixation had already said they weren't interested on the forum.

This is why Lynx and I have been trying to host regular live meetups in the chat rooms -- it's a chance for people to meet, talk, and attend from all over the world -- in a relatively safe manner.

I don't know when the next one will be. I'm always open about struggling with depression and I'm such an introvert that this affects my ability to be online as well. Lately, I haven't been feeling like I can put on my "public face," even in a chat, so we'll see. And I don't want to pressure Lynx to act as host alone, though he is more than capable at any time.

Whenever we do have a live chat meetup, please feel free to stop by! We post threads announcing the days and times.

Right now we are limited to our own (Lynx and my) schedules, but we're hoping others might be inspired to host their own chat times so there can be more opportunities for people to meet.

May God bless you, Canadian, for helping other singles!

 

[Lanolin]

yes you need to think about safety, and moreso in a church setting perhaps.

I do feel sort of uncomfortable with men ogling me and making a play for me - in church. It is very obvious what they are trying to do. On a first date or get to know you, its best not to be completely alone with a man until you feel like you can trust him (for a woman)

I mean some women may welcome the attention, but fending off unwanted advances can be tiring.

 

[Lanolin]

Because I posted here, does it mean people are automatically going to assume I am looking for a husband?!
I just don't want people to get the wrong idea.

Maybe you can change the name to Single and Seeking or something like that.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

Hi Canadian,

Unfortunately, in any group of Christian-identifying people, you are going to find wolves in sheep's clothing, but even more than that, you are going to find sincere and well-meaning people who are extremely lonely. And for someone, the loneliness can bring out very unpleasant side effects that must be confronted, even when they are genuine Bible believers.

Thank you for giving us an idea of what you'd like this thread to be. I hope I can make some positive contributions.

Just for the record, the meetups I've had with people here on CC have been small, "private" (I'll explain in just a minute,) gatherings with those I've gotten to know over several years here on the forum, through countless emails, and in live chats (so we could see what we were all like in real time and over long amounts of time.) Some people who seemed great on the forums turned out to not be so great in chats (always getting into fights with people, etc.), and some people who might not say much in chats had a lot more to say on the forum or in private emails.

When I say "private," what I mean is, it's never been more than about 6 people at one time, and we all already knew each other well (over years) and/or have already met one or more of the others in person.

We have talked for years about trying to host "free for all" events, saying something like, "Hey, we're going to be here on this day at this time, come on by if you can!" but have always hesitated because of privacy. Our meetups are always close to where at least one person lives, and that person would rather not have just anyone knowing where they are. None of the meetups have ever been close to where I live -- I always have to travel all day by plane to get where others are.

We also had an instance years ago where we kept the group private because we had noticed a person on the forum who seemed to fixate on members of the opposite gender, and their current fixation was someone in our group. I don't think this person was dangerous in any way, but I think if they would have known where this person in our group was located, they would have very strongly pursued them, even though their object of fixation had already said they weren't interested on the forum.

This is why Lynx and I have been trying to host regular live meetups in the chat rooms -- it's a chance for people to meet, talk, and attend from all over the world -- in a relatively safe manner.

I don't know when the next one will be. I'm always open about struggling with depression and I'm such an introvert that this affects my ability to be online as well. Lately, I haven't been feeling like I can put on my "public face," even in a chat, so we'll see. And I don't want to pressure Lynx to act as host alone, though he is more than capable at any time.

Whenever we do have a live chat meetup, please feel free to stop by! We post threads announcing the days and times.

Right now we are limited to our own (Lynx and my) schedules, but we're hoping others might be inspired to host their own chat times so there can be more opportunities for people to meet.

May God bless you, Canadian, for helping other singles!

I understand that.
Oh ok, I can understand that. I see.
Well when I was in Winnipeg, someone had hosted a meet up at a church that had 3 restaurants.
I mean you can definately pick a place out of town from where you live and rent a public space for a few hours or a day.

Ahhh, I see, I understand that, I hope you get your next meeting up and running.
Thanks If he does I will let you know when the wedding is lol.

 

[faithlife]

So I am not the only one on here who has issues with churches not having a singles ministry.
I am starting this so singles can connect with other singles.

God Knows I need a wife, so feel free to use this as a dating thread as well lol.

Hi my 'name' is Seengal, I'm 39 live in Phoenix and have a job as assistant mgr at the JW Marriott Hotel. I live alone with family close by. My heart's desire at this point in my life is to meet the Christian man the Lord has for me. I go to a non-denom church and am in a sm group. I admire men who love the Lord and are fulfilling their calling. If there's a guy reading this who perhaps is on the same page and can relate, please pm me. It would be nice to chat and compare notes

(just a sample of a response fictitious, I'm just stirring the pot)

 

[seoulsearch]

Hi my 'name' is Seengal, I'm 39 live in Phoenix and have a job as assistant mgr at the JW Marriott Hotel. I live alone with family close by. My heart's desire at this point in my life is to meet the Christian man the Lord has for me. I go to a non-denom church and am in a sm group. I admire men who love the Lord and are fulfilling their calling. If there's a guy reading this who perhaps is on the same page and can relate, please pm me. It would be nice to chat and compare notes

(just a sample of a response fictitious, I'm just stirring the pot)

Lol!!

I miss the old emoji selection.

This post definitely deserves a !!