Thank you. That was very helpful. I think I am at the place you were and I have just reached my wits end with myself. I guess I just need to try to do what you did and just turn it all over and take it out of my own hands.I don't know if what helped me will help you or not, but it might, so I'll tell you how I got past that repeating cycle of trying harder, failing, then depression, then back to trying harder.
I gave up on trying to be good. I went through that cycle for so many years and finally one day I said: it's impossible. I can't do it. If it's going to be done - if I am ever going to be good as I so desperately want to be, YOU will have to do something. And if you don't, I will just remain this way, because I am just wicked inside.
And I don't know why this is so, but after I just saw it was beyond my power to change and I said He would have to do it, I began to have great victories over my anger, depression, snottiness, etc.
Afterwards, I realized that I fully understood that being saved was only by trusting Him but what I had not understood was that being made more holy and good was ALSO only by trusting Him.
Thank you and thanks to the others that replied as well. I am new to this site. I don't really understand exactly how it works so I hope I didn't cause an interruption in this thread. I have just been battling these feelings for so long and needed to get it off my chest. I thought it kind of went along with what you guys were talking about, though. I'm going to keep reading this thread and site because you guys have already helped me so much.
