Uh Oh. You Had Better Keep (Me) or (Someone I Know) Away From (Fill in the Blank.) Why?! (Explain in Your Post!)

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

This thread was inspired by a joke we had going on in the "Pick Me!" thread over in Singles. One particular member said to pick him because he owned a fancy chainsaw. Another particular member promptly said that the first particular member with the chainsaw should stay away from a certain tree that she apparently fancies!

Now, I'm not necessarily saying that CC members who are fond of chainsaws should be kept away from trees...

But maybe we need to keep CC members who love their chainsaws away from trees (or certain ones, at least.) We'll have a poll to settle this VERY important question later!!

I recently spent some time with some awesome friends who always open their home up to me and say the two MOST DANGEROUS words ANYONE can say to me (regarding their refrigerator):

"HELP YOURSELF!!!"

Oh my goodness! Something about those two words let loose my inner Sweet Tooth Monster (which I try to keep on a leash at home,) and pretty soon, entire boxes of Fudgesicles and Drumstick ice cream cones were mysteriously... "needing to be put on the shopping list."

I have no idea what happened, but since I don't let myself have these things at home, obviously:

1. "You Had Better Keep ME Away From Your Desserts" -- and particularly when they're of the scrumptious sweet and frozen variety.

Why?

Because they are going to vanish before anyone else can get their hands on them -- or better yet, before anyone even realizes they were there!


Here are some other examples:

2. "You had better keep me away from... flat surfaces."

Why?

Because I will cover every flat surface of furniture with piles of stuff -- granted, it will be neat piles of stuff, but nonetheless, stuff! Being single, I like that I can put out my most-used things instead of having to always hunt for them in a drawer or cabinet. So rooming with me on the Christian Chat Cruise (another thread going on in Singles) might be quite annoying -- because I just might try to monopolize all the flat space on the desk!

3. "You had better keep my brother's dog away from... rubber balls that she can pick up with her teeth."

Why?

Because she will endlessly want you to throw them for her to fetch, which is cute at first, but she's not going to let you do anything else, even as she comes back with a slobbery, sopping wet ball she wants you to throw -- for like the 50th time!


* How about the rest of you?

* What are the things (food, places, equipment, subjects, other people, etc.) that YOU and/or someone you know (kids, spouse, parents, friends, etc.) need to be kept away from??!!

* Most importantly, WHY??!!


And now getting back to the beginning inspiration of the thread... Should CC Members Who Love Chainsaws Be Kept Away From Trees?

Just for fun, the poll will be multiple choice with visible answers -- choose your answer in the poll, then come back to the thread to defend your answer.

Then tell us all about the things YOU, your friends, and family NEED TO BE KEPT AWAY FROM -- and WHY!

 

[Mem]

My sister and bro are always saying that you must keep me away from any boxes of assorted chocolates because I will poke each one to so you can see exactly what they are filled with. I mean, that so helpful?! There's no need to have to turn the box over to figure it out!

 

[seoulsearch]

My sister and bro are always saying that you must keep me away from any boxes of assorted chocolates because I will poke each one to so you can see exactly what they are filled with. I mean, that so helpful?! There's no need to have to turn the box over to figure it out!

I mean...

How else can you decide which one(s) you want unless you can see what they're filled with at first glance, right?

Duh!

You're practically doing a community service here!

(But please don't be offended if I keep my box of chocolates to myself...)

 

[Lynx]

I recently spent some time with some awesome friends who always open their home up to me and say the two MOST DANGEROUS words ANYONE can say to me (regarding their refrigerator):

"HELP YOURSELF!!!"

Oh my goodness! Something about those two words let loose my inner Sweet Tooth Monster (which I try to keep on a leash at home,) and pretty soon, entire boxes of Fudgesicles and Drumstick ice cream cones were mysteriously... "needing to be put on the shopping list."

I have no idea what happened, but since I don't let myself have these things at home, obviously:

1. "You Had Better Keep ME Away From Your Desserts" -- and particularly when they're of the scrumptious sweet and frozen variety.

Why?

Because they are going to vanish before anyone else can get their hands on them -- or better yet, before anyone even realizes they were there!

Quote from my pastor: People say "Make yourself at home." Don't say it if you don't mean it. I will drink out of your milk jug.


About flat surfaces, my father is the same, but only because he can reach stuff more easily from a wheelchair that way. Like, every single flat surface in this house is covered with stuff.


As for what you should keep me away from... Doesn't matter. I'll get to it anyway.

 

[tourist]

I am seriously considering purchasing a battery powered 12-inch chainsaw. Gonna cut down some limbs. Since I have never used a chainsaw before I will certainly take all necessary precautions so as to not cut off my own limbs. Fortunately, there is an ER just a mile away from where I live. That place is to be avoided like the plague though.

 

[Lanolin]

You not touching any of my trees @Tall_Timbers

If you do set foot in my country, the only trees I'll allow you to cut down are on this list

Privet
Privet
Privet
Privet

 

[seoulsearch]

You not touching any of my trees @Tall_Timbers

If you do set foot in my country, the only trees I'll allow you to cut down are on this list

Privet
Privet
Privet
Privet

Uh oh.

And here I was trying so hard to keep the main characters of the story anonymous.

HOW do I possibly keep getting caught?

I was actually going to title the thread something like, Should We Let @Tall_Timbers Cut Down @Lanolin's Favorite Tree, but I figured that might be pushing it a bit too far!

Even I have my limits. Granted, they take a lot to reach, but they ARE there!

 

[Godsgirl1983]

Well, I mean if you chain saw happy peps really need to cut something, I live in a very wooded lot and have a few I'd like to see gone or trimmed back.

 

[Billyd]

If you don't know what you're doing, leave the chainsaw at the store.

 

[tourist]

You not touching any of my trees @Tall_Timbers

If you do set foot in my country, the only trees I'll allow you to cut down are on this list

Privet
Privet
Privet
Privet

That must be your short list. Your long list is probably more exhaustive.

 

[tourist]

If you don't know what you're doing, leave the chainsaw at the store.

Hopefully, it will come with a few tips on how to avoid getting maimed.

 

[Churchgoer]

I don't like mosquitoes. If there are a group of 10 people, the mosquito will only attack me and ignore the other 9.

So please please keep me away from mosquitos.

 

[Lanolin]

huh well you guys all must have missed Chainsaw Safety Awareness Week back in June.

Now how about those mulch chippers?
When I was working with an aborist in the garden company we had a mulcher truck which chipped up all the branches and turned them into mulch. My job was to help feed the branches into the chipper. We also used bark as a mulch but the problem with bark is that birds like to fossick in it and spread it around. So I was forever leaf blowing and sweeping it back off the path. That was my job too.

I only ever pruned using a hand pruning saw. So the branches I pruned were not that thick. If it was really light pruning. I could use secateurs, and loppers.
No chainsaws, only trained and certified arborists used those. Plus they are noisy as. On the weekends around here, the most annoying thing would be the noise of everyone using their lawnmowers, and I definitely know the sound of a chainsaw when I hear it.
I used an electric/fuel hedgetrimmer a few times, but I'm not so good at cutting hedges dead straight lol

If you want a hedge shaped into a cat, maybe, or a giant golf balls, or a lollipop. Topiary is fun!
Espaliering fruit trees I'd also like to try, but I need a wall for that.

Keep me away from the garden centre, when I have money to spend!!

 

[Lanolin]

That must be your short list. Your long list is probably more exhaustive.

Nope thats it
Only privet.
That's the only one I want him cutting down.

I wouldn't mind if he cut the bamboo, but that's not a tree. It's a giant grass! That will grow back.

 

[tourist]

Nope thats it
Only privet.
That's the only one I want him cutting down.

I wouldn't mind if he cut the bamboo, but that's not a tree. It's a giant grass! That will grow back.

Apparently, privet is some kind of evergreen bush. Never heard of it until you mentioned it. Didn't know that bamboo is a giant grass, thought that it was some kind of fast-growing tree. I learned a couple things from you today. It was quite educational.

 

[tourist]

I am enjoying the submissions in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre thread thus far. It has proved to be a high-entertainment venue for sure.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

I am seriously considering purchasing a battery powered 12-inch chainsaw. Gonna cut down some limbs. Since I have never used a chainsaw before I will certainly take all necessary precautions so as to not cut off my own limbs. Fortunately, there is an ER just a mile away from where I live. That place is to be avoided like the plague though.

Don't point it at anything you don't intend to cut and keep your limb's out of the saw's way, and everything should work out.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

Well, I mean if you chain saw happy peps really need to cut something, I live in a very wooded lot and have a few I'd like to see gone or trimmed back.

I love trees so much that I built a house in the middle of a forest, and rather than cut down the hill side to expose a beautiful view, I preferred to see the trees in the forest for my view. Even so, on that particular lot I must've cut enough trees down to provide a hundred cords of firewood or so. Didn't make a dent in the forest.

Please keep your See's chocolates away from me on account of I try not to eat sweets but can't help but eat all of the See's chocolates within reach. Once, many years ago, my parents sent my wife and I a gift of 3 pounds of See's chocolates. Believe it or not, my wife thought it was okay to polish off all three pounds before I even got home from work...

 

[Tall_Timbers]

If you don't know what you're doing, leave the chainsaw at the store.

But if you insist anyway, before and purchase some chainsaw chaps as well.

 

[seoulsearch]

Nope thats it
Only privet.
That's the only one I want him cutting down.

I wouldn't mind if he cut the bamboo, but that's not a tree. It's a giant grass! That will grow back.

Apparently, privet is some kind of evergreen bush. Never heard of it until you mentioned it. Didn't know that bamboo is a giant grass, thought that it was some kind of fast-growing tree. I learned a couple things from you today. It was quite educational.

Ok, I had to look up "privet" as well...

It looks like there are several varieties and some can be turned into hedges?



Or maybe this is the kind @Lanolin sees?




And now I have to ask @Lanolin, is the reason you said @Tall_Timbers could cut all these down is because there are too many of them, and people see them as annoyances?

Looks like @Tall_Timbers just might have plenty to keep him and his chainsaw busy for a while...