What can you offer?

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R

renewed_hope

Guest
#21
I guess I am me, but since all of you don't really know me personally, I guess I will have to elaborate more on this. I have been told that I am a sweetheart who always gives and doesn't care if I get anything back in return, I do my best to be loveable, I enjoy cooking, cleaning, doing what I can to help with projects around the house like fixing the sink or construction type projects, I've been told that I have good choice in makeup, clothes, and even designs when I get my nails done, I'm funny, attempt to be smart and I have no problem giving people a hard time either...I know how to take a joke and I am completely random
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#22
I guess I am me, but since all of you don't really know me personally, I guess I will have to elaborate more on this. I have been told that I am a sweetheart who always gives and doesn't care if I get anything back in return, I do my best to be loveable, I enjoy cooking, cleaning, doing what I can to help with projects around the house like fixing the sink or construction type projects, I've been told that I have good choice in makeup, clothes, and even designs when I get my nails done, I'm funny, attempt to be smart and I have no problem giving people a hard time either...I know how to take a joke and I am completely random
I'll take 2 of you then.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#23
The threads, where we list what we will accept or not accept in a potential lover, is cute and fun; but I believe it could be more constructive, to see what you think you could offer a potential mate.

I don't believe God brings anyone a spouse. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe we have to go on our own to meet someone, and make the decision to marry them. I believe the time between meeting someone and marriage, is the time you date, and sell yourself to them......To give reasons why this person should choose you.

This could be fun, or it could be a difficult exercise that reveals how we value ourselves. Some members here might spot great things about you, that you never realized about yourself. They could also disagree with your assessment of yourself. Members here read what you write, they remember it, and analyze it. I know, because it's what I find myself doing.

I got this idea this morning, reading repies to another thread called: I wouldn't marry....
I used the thread just to lay down some jokes, I don't really think I answered the question. I don't think I can. I saw some people post entire list of either characteristics or vices, they wouldn't accept in a mate. That is fine to know what you want in someone, but I don't know that I could make demands for a particular kind of person. This led me to think, if I had high standards for a bride, what could I offer them in return?



I guess now I have to start this.




Besides being the world's sexiest man (Aaron Rodgers not included, he's dreamy) I can fix most things broken.

I can repair your car. Not just simple repairs, I spent several years as a mechanic, and I can tell you why your engine light is on. I can repair the reason it is on. I will keep up with your vehicles service, my darlin will not be broke down on the side of the road. Even my ex wife misses this about me.

I come with a large assortment of tools.

I will keep the house up. I can drive a #16 with two hits of my California framer. I can paint, lay tile, hang a door on the hinges, glaze window panes in, plumbing, most electrical, install appliances, and drywall.

I can cook meat, and I'm a grill master.

I can split firewood with an axe.

I'm somewhat literate.

I haven't piloted an aircraft in years, but if the pilot has a heart attack, we should be fine.

I grew up sailing.

I can do some gun smithing. I've built a few of my own weapons, and I'm damned good with them.

I'm sure this list is far from what all I can do for a woman, but it really is just gravy for the potatoes.

I don't lie. I'd like to, but I'm no good at it. My deception would be discovered before I could utter the words. I always lose at poker. If it's strip poker, I don't mind too much. Don't ask me if your clothes make you look fat, if you don't want the truth.
If I love you, I will love you. I won't leave or cheat. I will carry my end of the vows. On the macro level, I will be happy with you, although I can't make you happy, it's not really my job. It's your burden to be happy with me. If the grass is a bit dry and dying on my side, I assume it's the same on the other. I don't like dead grass, and will call chemlawn if I have to.
I will accept your advice and counsel, but I will lead you in worship of our Lord.
I don't agree with all you said in your post but it should be fun so here I am!
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#24
Well to be honest right now financially I don't have much though if I get the full time I applied for that would be a step up because I would go from 8 dollars an hour to about 11.50 an hour and so would be able to at least "provide decently"for whoever I may eventually marry,I have multiple game systems and an extensive knowledge of what games are worth playing and what games aren't, as well as how to "obtain" working games for download and can give good explanations of how to get through a tough point in a game,I actually know how to fix vcr tapes that I learned by myself through trial and error,I can efficiently type on a computer key board without looking,and know a thing or two about computers on how to make a website,clear unnecessary browsing history if a computer is getting slow.
I am very good at time consuming organization if you were to give me a storage building filled with clutter in a few hours I would have it organized to where you could walk in it again without anything falling over and can even make it specifically organized if requested before hand though you may have to tell me a little about what you mean because I am more of an action type person on somethings,so for example if someone were to tell me "turn that table vertical" I might look at you with a confused look and get jittery most likely,because I am a bit of a perfectionist so when I am given a task I want to get it done right as best as possible period,and it doesn't matter about weather conditions,if it's hot outside I'll get the task done,if it's cold outside I'll get a coat and freeze a bit until I'm done or until someone tells me to call it a night.
 
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J

joefizz

Guest
#26
What do you not agree with?
Just the "God doesn't bring someone to you" I agree that you get noone if the individual takes no action but as per my signature I believe God can bring you to a possible spouse or them to you.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#27
What I had to offer Tourist took and I guess it was enough since we have been married three years after meeting on CC. We were two flawed people who decided that our flaws didn't matter and we could live with them. So sometimes you don't need a laundry list of what you can offer but what you'd like to give.

We gave our hearts to each other and it's working...

PS: We both believe God brought us together on CC.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#28
Just the "God doesn't bring someone to you" I agree that you get noone if the individual takes no action but as per my signature I believe God can bring you to a possible spouse or them to you.
Without a doubt, God could, but would he?

How many Christians are waiting alone, for God to bring someone?
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#29
Without a doubt, God could, but would he?

How many Christians are waiting alone, for God to bring someone?

False Dilemma


I think the whole problem here has been the creation of a false dilemma.

You're making the assertion there are only 2 ways for a Christian man to acquire a wife - either method A or method B.
And that's a false dilemma.
We aren't restricted to just A or B.
There is an entirely different method, and perspective, which is more Biblical, and is neither A or B.


The Dilemma

A. You can be unassertive, sit home, do nothing, and pray like a monk till God delivers a girl to your door.
B. You can be assertive, and wholly on your own effort, without God's help, go out and find a woman.

I think both of these options are unbiblical, and thankfully we are not restricted to just these 2 options.

There is at least a 3rd option, which is more biblical.

C. Be assertive, but in accordance to God's word and spirit:
Prayerfully, and following the principles in God's word, and the promptings of his spirit, be mindful and assertive in actively looking for a wife... with the Biblical presupposition that God WILL DIRECT YOU IN THE WAYS HE WANTS YOU TO GO.



Conclusion:
If someone wants to ignore God, and assertively go find a woman on his own, without God's guidance or principles, LIKE SAMPSON DID... that's fine, but I really can't recommend it.
 
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maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#30
Final Thought:

We need to be EXTREMELY careful in giving advice about seeking a wife.
It's a kinda big deal.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,782
841
113
53
#31
All I can offer is who and what God made me to be and taught me through all the trials. Most of all...a woman...striving to walk in God's will...loving and pleasing heart...forgiving...a nurturer...a good cook...jack of many trades that believes laughter is good medicine.
Did I mention a loving woman?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#32
Maxwel: This thread is not supposed to be about how to find a spouse. It is supposed to be a place to list what qualities you might be able to bring to the table in a partnership. Can you please take the thread in the spirit in which it was started?

Not EVERY thread has to be a debate.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#33
We see what Maxwel has to offer. She is going to have to be one good woman.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#34
Just to say I’m looking for a billion pounds, a large mansion, swimming pool,
large grounds, boat, private helicopter, a couple of red setters, maid etc.

Can anyone offer that :p
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#35
Just to say I’m looking for a billion pounds, a large mansion, swimming pool,
large grounds, boat, private helicopter, a couple of red setters, maid etc.

Can anyone offer that :p
What do you have for the wealthy man?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#36
I don't think I have anything to offer. That's why I should probably remain single.
Stranger,

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you.

From what I've seen in your posts, you are kind, compassionate, willing to give anyone a chance, and very encouraging.

Believe me, now days those qualities can be very rare--and are something any woman can appreciate.

Please, don't sell yourself short. :)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#37
Tommy,

I'm so glad you turned your idea into a thread! :) I hope you will continue to do so in the future. :) I had been thinking about this too... In several of the past threads, we've all been talking a little about the people we wouldn't date, so that must mean that we think we have some something to offer that is above those people, even if its just our own dignity!

* If I can offer one thing, it would be financial responsibility, seeing as my parents have drilled that into my head since I was a kid. Even with our allowances, we had to pay a tithe to church and then put aside part of it for savings. If I was given $10 for my birthday, I was promptly instructed that part of it would go to church, half would go in the bank, and I would receive whatever was left. Wowsers. I couldn't even fathom getting to spend a whole $4.50 at once--it was way too overwhelming. :rolleyes: To this day, I still follow those same principles (though of course, I'm not able to save exactly half anymore.)

I pay off debt as soon as possible and try to avoid it at all costs (no pun intended. :))

* I'm attentive and pay attention to details. I believe in loving someone as madly, passionately, and intensely as possible. If I think he is the right person, I will start calculating how much I can shave off my budget here and there because I will want to surprise him from time to time.

What is he interested in? I will save for a year or however long it takes in order to try to get him something that he is really going to enjoy, even if it's something I know nothing about (I'll just ask him to teach me about it, then try to get him things that would support his hobbies.)

I'm afraid I do have to draw the line at sports, though, meaning, in my head, I'd be planning to try to get him tickets to a game, but would make sure his best friend (or family member who loves the same team) could go with him instead, because I know he'd probably have a much better time with another sports enthusiast.

* I am fiercely loyal, responsible, trustworthy, and organized. Although I hate paperwork and appointments, I will make sure they are all kept track of so that we can hopefully stay ahead of the game. I have often been told that I would make a good secretary or administrative assistant.

* I can be random and spontaneous, and I love to surprise trips. I love "planned spontaneity", like a road trip with no specific stops, or taking off and going to an amusement park or museum for the day. If you have kids, I'll take care of arranging for a trustworthy sitter and so forth in advance. I will ask questions and know enough about your life to know whom you would trust with your kids for such an occasion. If possible, I'll even take care of seeing that you get a day off (if I feel I've made the right connections with your employer and can make the request for you.)

* Cooking isn't one of my great loves, but I can do it when I apply myself, so if I try to make something for you, you know that I'm trying to impress you.

* I have studied the Bible since childhood and while I'm no expert by any means (I constantly have to look things up, rather than memorize them), I would do my best to make worthy contributions to a Bible study or lesson.

* I can start, or contribute to, a variety of different conversations. I may also choose to express my thoughts in writing, so don't be surprised if I tell you, "I had a few things on my mind," and hand you a 20-page letter. :D <3 It's my form of a compliment.

* I will want to know all about YOU. I will ask all kinds of questions about you, your thoughts, your childhood, your dreams, and even the things you might not want to talk about, but I will gently see if maybe you might change your mind, and tell me everything about you that there is to know.

* I'm versatile, and can be happy just sitting at home or off exploring the world on a big adventure. I am also a kid at heart. Are there any places, shows, or toys from your childhood that you love? (As you can tell, I love the original 1980's Transformers, particularly Soundwave.) I can be happy watching anything from Bugs Bunny to an intense drama with you. I will also take an interest in anything you are interested in, and try to support you as much as possible (and if I just can't get into something you're into, I will encourage you to join a club or support group that does.)


* I do have a few major caveats--for me, being an intense person means that as intensely loving, supportive, and caring as I can try to be, all the negative emotions I have are just as intense, and that has a tendency to throw people off and break the deal.

Now days, I try my best to let things go or just walk away before it ever gets to that level of intensity, because I honestly hate the feeling of being that angry and try to avoid it whenever I can. However, that also means I might let go of the person I am constantly battling it out with (though of course I realize this isn't an option when it comes to marriage.)

Awesome thread, Tommy. :) Hope you'll post a few more!
 

Saturn

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2014
117
6
18
#38
Stability and macaroni and cheese with hotdogs cut up in it.

No, but seriously I can offer you macaroni and cheese with hotdogs cut up in it.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#39
Tommy,

I'm so glad you turned your idea into a thread! :) I hope you will continue to do so in the future. :) I had been thinking about this too... In several of the past threads, we've all been talking a little about the people we wouldn't date, so that must mean that we think we have some something to offer that is above those people, even if its just our own dignity!

* If I can offer one thing, it would be financial responsibility, seeing as my parents have drilled that into my head since I was a kid. Even with our allowances, we had to pay a tithe to church and then put aside part of it for savings. If I was given $10 for my birthday, I was promptly instructed that part of it would go to church, half would go in the bank, and I would receive whatever was left. Wowsers. I couldn't even fathom getting to spend a whole $4.50 at once--it was way too overwhelming. :rolleyes: To this day, I still follow those same principles (though of course, I'm not able to save exactly half anymore.)

I pay off debt as soon as possible and try to avoid it at all costs (no pun intended. :))

* I'm attentive and pay attention to details. I believe in loving someone as madly, passionately, and intensely as possible. If I think he is the right person, I will start calculating how much I can shave off my budget here and there because I will want to surprise him from time to time.

What is he interested in? I will save for a year or however long it takes in order to try to get him something that he is really going to enjoy, even if it's something I know nothing about (I'll just ask him to teach me about it, then try to get him things that would support his hobbies.)

I'm afraid I do have to draw the line at sports, though, meaning, in my head, I'd be planning to try to get him tickets to a game, but would make sure his best friend (or family member who loves the same team) could go with him instead, because I know he'd probably have a much better time with another sports enthusiast.

* I am fiercely loyal, responsible, trustworthy, and organized. Although I hate paperwork and appointments, I will make sure they are all kept track of so that we can hopefully stay ahead of the game. I have often been told that I would make a good secretary or administrative assistant.

* I can be random and spontaneous, and I love to surprise trips. I love "planned spontaneity", like a road trip with no specific stops, or taking off and going to an amusement park or museum for the day. If you have kids, I'll take care of arranging for a trustworthy sitter and so forth in advance. I will ask questions and know enough about your life to know whom you would trust with your kids for such an occasion. If possible, I'll even take care of seeing that you get a day off (if I feel I've made the right connections with your employer and can make the request for you.)

* Cooking isn't one of my great loves, but I can do it when I apply myself, so if I try to make something for you, you know that I'm trying to impress you.

* I have studied the Bible since childhood and while I'm no expert by any means (I constantly have to look things up, rather than memorize them), I would do my best to make worthy contributions to a Bible study or lesson.

* I can start, or contribute to, a variety of different conversations. I may also choose to express my thoughts in writing, so don't be surprised if I tell you, "I had a few things on my mind," and hand you a 20-page letter. :D <3 It's my form of a compliment.

* I will want to know all about YOU. I will ask all kinds of questions about you, your thoughts, your childhood, your dreams, and even the things you might not want to talk about, but I will gently see if maybe you might change your mind, and tell me everything about you that there is to know.

* I'm versatile, and can be happy just sitting at home or off exploring the world on a big adventure. I am also a kid at heart. Are there any places, shows, or toys from your childhood that you love? (As you can tell, I love the original 1980's Transformers, particularly Soundwave.) I can be happy watching anything from Bugs Bunny to an intense drama with you. I will also take an interest in anything you are interested in, and try to support you as much as possible (and if I just can't get into something you're into, I will encourage you to join a club or support group that does.)


* I do have a few major caveats--for me, being an intense person means that as intensely loving, supportive, and caring as I can try to be, all the negative emotions I have are just as intense, and that has a tendency to throw people off and break the deal.

Now days, I try my best to let things go or just walk away before it ever gets to that level of intensity, because I honestly hate the feeling of being that angry and try to avoid it whenever I can. However, that also means I might let go of the person I am constantly battling it out with (though of course I realize this isn't an option when it comes to marriage.)

Awesome thread, Tommy. :) Hope you'll post a few more!
How do you feel about eating grilled meat daily, if you man does the cooking?
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#40
Stability and macaroni and cheese with hotdogs cut up in it.

No, but seriously I can offer you macaroni and cheese with hotdogs cut up in it.
My daughter would probably like you with the mac and cheese.