Who else here is over 30 and a virgin?

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Going_Nowhere

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
#1
Nov 10, 2019
1,726
938
113
#1
I turn 33 later this year and I'm still a virgin. Don't laugh....even though I know you want to.


I feel like it's a rare thing for a person my age to still be a virgin. And that's probably because it is....especially in this day and age. It seems today that even many Christians have sex out of wedlock.


But I don't think there's anything wrong with being over 30 and a virgin....despite how society might view you for it. If you get to be a certain age and you still have your V-card, some people might view you as a strange or inadequate person. But I say....why should I care what some people will think when it comes to that?


On the other hand, there ARE certain people out there (Christians included) that want to wait until they're married. Or at least want to wait until they've found someone special. And I say....kudos to those people. IMO, that's an admirable goal in today's world.


So who else here is in the same boat?
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#2
Jul 3, 2015
60,135
29,452
113
#2
Why would I laugh? I think it is amazing and admirable. You often say you would rather be alone, preferring your solitude to being around people. No doubt that does help in this regard, also.
 
Deade

Deade

Called of God
#3
Dec 17, 2017
16,724
10,531
113
78
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#3
Going_Nowhere said:
I turn 33 later this year and I'm still a virgin. Don't laugh....even though I know you want to.


I feel like it's a rare thing for a person my age to still be a virgin. And that's probably because it is....especially in this day and age. It seems today that even many Christians have sex out of wedlock.


But I don't think there's anything wrong with being over 30 and a virgin....despite how society might view you for it. If you get to be a certain age and you still have your V-card, some people might view you as a strange or inadequate person. But I say....why should I care what some people will think when it comes to that?


On the other hand, there ARE certain people out there (Christians included) that want to wait until they're married. Or at least want to wait until they've found someone special. And I say....kudos to those people. IMO, that's an admirable goal in today's world.


So who else here is in the same boat?
Click to expand...
Just think, maybe you have some of the blood of the lost tribes of Israel. When God gathers these 144,000 virgins, they get to start anew in the millennial reign and you will be eligible. Don't feel bad, God doesn't.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#4
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,721
113
Georgia
#4
Nothing at all wrong with it. Who cares what the secular world thinks about it ... in the end its between you and the good Lord. :)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,373
113
#5
I'm 42 and never been on a date yet. Who's laughing?

Personally I think too much importance is placed on personal pleasure and profit. It's not really something I have made a priority in my life. There are other things I think are more important.

So who's laughing?
 
climbthehill

climbthehill

Active member
#6
May 13, 2020
216
165
43
U.S.A.
#6
If you decide to get married imagine the look on their face when you tell them...I've kept myself for You!! What a rare Gift!! Stay the course!
 
JeremiahsCup

JeremiahsCup

Banned
#7
Feb 1, 2020
725
225
43
35
#7
This makes me very curious. Did you hear the summons of the Master a few months a go as the year started?
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#9
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#9
I saved myself for marriage, and I married at 33 yrs old. Nothing wrong with that at all.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#10
#10
We are supposed to be a virgin until we are married. We should not tell people about it. Doing what is expected is nothing to boast about. I have never robbed a bank and I am 57. See how that sounds?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,373
113
#11
For some reason a Charlie Peacock song keeps running through my head...


Sometimes he tries to imagine what it would have been like
to be pure in heart, to be innocent on his wedding night,
Looking back, he had no idea all that he gave away
in that awkward moment on that summer day.

Oh, maybe this will be the generation
that will set their minds on the things above,
And if they set their minds on these Heavenly things,
then they've got a chance...

To put the love back into love,
They could put the love back into love.

It's no wonder true love is so rare
when lies are so easily spoken,
As strange as it seems, we often forget
from faithful lips come vows unbroken,
Believe it or not there is such a thing
as a bed of a love undefiled,
though I must admit you seldom hear about it,
except for once in a while.

Oh, maybe this will be the generation
that will set their minds on the things above,
And if they set their minds on these Heavenly things,
then they've got a chance...

To put the love back into love,
They could put the love back into love.

Oh, Lennon said "Imagine," I say, imagine this:
what if we actually lived like Heaven exists
And, having so believed,
put every thought, word and deed
under the heading of Heavenly things?

And if we set our minds on these Heavenly things,
then they've got a chance...

To put the love back into love,
They could put the love back into love.

Every thought, and every word, and every deed,
planted like a seed inside every one of us,
Every thought, and every word, every deed,
planted like a seed inside every one of us,
Can you...
can you imagine what it would be...
what it would be like?




(Caution: Charlie Peacock's singing is... not for everybody. It's a doggone good song though.)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#12
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#12
Going_Nowhere said:
I turn 33 later this year and I'm still a virgin. Don't laugh....even though I know you want to.


I feel like it's a rare thing for a person my age to still be a virgin. And that's probably because it is....especially in this day and age. It seems today that even many Christians have sex out of wedlock.


But I don't think there's anything wrong with being over 30 and a virgin....despite how society might view you for it. If you get to be a certain age and you still have your V-card, some people might view you as a strange or inadequate person. But I say....why should I care what some people will think when it comes to that?


On the other hand, there ARE certain people out there (Christians included) that want to wait until they're married. Or at least want to wait until they've found someone special. And I say....kudos to those people. IMO, that's an admirable goal in today's world.


So who else here is in the same boat?
Click to expand...
Can't tell if you're trying to brag, fighting back against negative thoughts that are challenging you, or just wanting to find people who share that conviction so you don't feel like the only holy Jesus freak out there.

Personally I think that while obedience to the Lord is a wonderful thing, Christians in general do themselves and everyone else a huge disservice when they setup the equation Virginity = sexual purity . You can fool around and fill your mind with smut and be a huge porn addict and still be technically a virgin (not saying that you or anyone else in this thread has done any of those things) but someone who does those things can't honestly say that they're pursuing purity and a godly view of human sexuality.

One of the things a former CC singles regular once said and I've never forgotten: The Bible doesn't say stay a virgin; the Bible says stop fornicating. And sometimes I have to wonder if the harder obedience isn't to know all the pleasure you're missing and still forego that out of your love and commitment to God.
 
J

JustEli

Well-known member
#13
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
50
#13
You know, a fantasy is still sin, but wont give you an std.
 
Mii

Mii

Well-known member
#14
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#14
I'm not over 30 so I guess I can't comment on this thread in that regard but Cinder does bring up a very valid point.

Committing adultery in one's heart is common even among physical virgins and that should be spotlighted.
 
K

Kojikun

Well-known member
#15
Oct 5, 2018
4,658
2,721
113
#15
cinder said:
Can't tell if you're trying to brag, fighting back against negative thoughts that are challenging you, or just wanting to find people who share that conviction so you don't feel like the only holy Jesus freak out there.

Personally I think that while obedience to the Lord is a wonderful thing, Christians in general do themselves and everyone else a huge disservice when they setup the equation Virginity = sexual purity . You can fool around and fill your mind with smut and be a huge porn addict and still be technically a virgin (not saying that you or anyone else in this thread has done any of those things) but someone who does those things can't honestly say that they're pursuing purity and a godly view of human sexuality.

One of the things a former CC singles regular once said and I've never forgotten: The Bible doesn't say stay a virgin; the Bible says stop fornicating. And sometimes I have to wonder if the harder obedience isn't to know all the pleasure you're missing and still forego that out of your love and commitment to God.
Click to expand...
Glad someone brought it up. I am unfortunately not a virgin and I have struggled with porn addiction for quite awhile. However the next time it will be with my wife "which is a long way from now" but yes it is difficult and seeing how very addictive both porn and sex can be it's even more so when you know what your missing. I wasn't always a christian obviously nor did i grow up in a religious environment, I guess you can say I was grafted to the vine.
 
D

DBurrage

Banned
#16
Apr 21, 2020
621
176
43
#16
Going_Nowhere said:
I turn 33 later this year and I'm still a virgin. Don't laugh....even though I know you want to.


I feel like it's a rare thing for a person my age to still be a virgin. And that's probably because it is....especially in this day and age. It seems today that even many Christians have sex out of wedlock.


But I don't think there's anything wrong with being over 30 and a virgin....despite how society might view you for it. If you get to be a certain age and you still have your V-card, some people might view you as a strange or inadequate person. But I say....why should I care what some people will think when it comes to that?


On the other hand, there ARE certain people out there (Christians included) that want to wait until they're married. Or at least want to wait until they've found someone special. And I say....kudos to those people. IMO, that's an admirable goal in today's world.


So who else here is in the same boat?
Click to expand...
I haven't been a Christian my whole life, and I'm not a virgin.

I haven't had sex since being saved, despite the natural feelings we all experience.

I'll tell you this...
It's not actually as big a deal as most people make out.
People who are virgins think they'll be judged for it, but honestly nobody cares, least of all other Christians.

Chill out 😊
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,373
113
#17
DBurrage said:
I haven't been a Christian my whole life, and I'm not a virgin.

I haven't had sex since being saved, despite the natural feelings we all experience.

I'll tell you this...
It's not actually as big a deal as most people make out.
People who are virgins think they'll be judged for it, but honestly nobody cares, least of all other Christians.

Chill out 😊
Click to expand...
Weeeeell... that can depend on your environment. Some people find out you have never had sex before, they take it to mean you have failed to - because to them it seems impossible that you're not TRYING to find a woman to have sex with, so you must be a major failure - and if you're not actively pursuing sex some people even assume it means you're a homosexual.

Depending on your location, being a virgin can get you a lot of joking and even some attempts at shaming. You poor, pathetic excuse for a man, you. :cautious:

Personally I am fortunate that I don't really give a fart in a whirlwind what other people think about me. You have to prove to me that you are at least honorable before I will care about your opinion. But some people are not so lucky and they can get really down when those around them denigrate them for being virgins.
 
D

DBurrage

Banned
#18
Apr 21, 2020
621
176
43
#18
Lynx said:
Weeeeell... that can depend on your environment. Some people find out you have never had sex before, they take it to mean you have failed to - because to them it seems impossible that you're not TRYING to find a woman to have sex with, so you must be a major failure - and if you're not actively pursuing sex some people even assume it means you're a homosexual.

Depending on your location, being a virgin can get you a lot of joking and even some attempts at shaming. You poor, pathetic excuse for a man, you. :cautious:

Personally I am fortunate that I don't really give a fart in a whirlwind what other people think about me. You have to prove to me that you are at least honorable before I will care about your opinion. But some people are not so lucky and they can get really down when those around them denigrate them for being virgins.
Click to expand...
Yes but it depends on your values and standards.

If you've decided that you don't want to have sex until after you marry, then who cares what some whore thinks?

Don't judge yourself by the standards of others.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#19
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,373
113
#19
DBurrage said:
Yes but it depends on your values and standards.

If you've decided that you don't want to have sex until after you marry, then who cares what some whore thinks?

Don't judge yourself by the standards of others.
Click to expand...
Aye, I know that, you know that and probably Going_Nowhere knows that. But when everybody at w*rk, everybody at school, or even everybody else in your family puts you down for it... sometimes you need to give yourself a pep talk, or get some confirmation from other believers at church or on a christian forum, that what you're doing is really right.

That's why I mentioned that part about environment. Some people have friends, cow*rkers or family who are just not christian. Some places it's not as easy as other places to live a christian life.
 
D

DBurrage

Banned
#20
Apr 21, 2020
621
176
43
#20
Lynx said:
Aye, I know that, you know that and probably Going_Nowhere knows that. But when everybody at w*rk, everybody at school, or even everybody else in your family puts you down for it... sometimes you need to give yourself a pep talk, or get some confirmation from other believers at church or on a christian forum, that what you're doing is really right.

That's why I mentioned that part about environment. Some people have friends, cow*rkers or family who are just not christian. Some places it's not as easy as other places to live a christian life.
Click to expand...
Oh yes I understand the difficulty with peer pressure.

I'm not a virgin but I never 'slept around', so to speak.
I think having sex has almost become a rite of passage, much like getting your driving license.

When you're surrounded by people who have chosen a particular lifestyle and who wonder why you're not doing the same, it can be difficult.

My advice would be to surround one's self with different people.
In the case where this would be difficult (e.g. they are close family), you could try to surround yourself with good people, for instance by joining a good local Church.
 
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