Who else here is over 30 and a virgin?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,895
8,156
113
#61
I am sure that your daughter does not. I'd be surprised if you allowed it.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#62
I am sure that your daughter does not. I'd be surprised if you allowed it.
Where we live. That nonsense is'nt an Issue. My daughter and her friends are pre-feminists. Still think that "boy's" are Idiot's!!! LOL...
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,030
3,254
113
#63
I am sure that your daughter does not. I'd be surprised if you allowed it.
A parent "allowing it" is only one part of the equation.

If a teenager is so inclined, it is going to happen regardless of what the parent's allow unless they lock the kid up. My parents sure didn't allow me to become sexually active at 13. In fact, they were clueless that I was sexually active until my early 20's when they finally figured out that my live in girlfriend didn't have a separate bedroom.

**DISCLAIMER** I am neither proud of my behavior at that time, nor do I endorse others following in my footsteps.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,895
8,156
113
#64
Yeah I know. My sister was the same, right under Mom's nose. But I didn't want to ruin a proud father's illusions. It's not my place.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,301
16,296
113
69
Tennessee
#65
A parent "allowing it" is only one part of the equation.

If a teenager is so inclined, it is going to happen regardless of what the parent's allow unless they lock the kid up. My parents sure didn't allow me to become sexually active at 13. In fact, they were clueless that I was sexually active until my early 20's when they finally figured out that my live in girlfriend didn't have a separate bedroom.

**DISCLAIMER** I am neither proud of my behavior at that time, nor do I endorse others following in my footsteps.
I got started a little later than you but otherwise a similar history. You are right also that for those so inclined they will find a way to indulge themselves in this behavior regardless of the home environment. I know this also as a parent. This stuff happens. All of the time.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,301
16,296
113
69
Tennessee
#66
Yeah I know. My sister was the same, right under Mom's nose. But I didn't want to ruin a proud father's illusions. It's not my place.
I can relate to parental illusions.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#67
A parent "allowing it" is only one part of the equation.

If a teenager is so inclined, it is going to happen regardless of what the parent's allow unless they lock the kid up. My parents sure didn't allow me to become sexually active at 13. In fact, they were clueless that I was sexually active until my early 20's when they finally figured out that my live in girlfriend didn't have a separate bedroom.

**DISCLAIMER** I am neither proud of my behavior at that time, nor do I endorse others following in my footsteps.
You are right. It is'nt a matter of a parent allowing this. It's a matter of a parent raising their children with morals and respect for themselves or other's. And I get it. Although none of my friends, Including myself, Had not even kissed a girl at age 13. We were taught consequences for our actions. so we had to decide.
Not because of moralistic values and principles. But if was worth a butt woopin'...
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#69
I think there is a blessing for obedience. You have also not taken something from someone else that didn't belong to you. You did not lead anyone else into temptation or disobedience, and sin against them. There is a blessing for self discipline. You chose what pleases God before taking something for yourself. My comments are not about other people's choices. Their journey with God is their journey. In talking about yours, I don't think you are being prideful. There is a contentment that can come from walking the path in the way you know God wants. Kudos to you brother. Thank you for encouraging others in choosing to do right, despite societal pressures. Hold to your convictions.
This... I want the blessing here or up there despite my past failures. Ask for forgiveness if you had pre marital sex and try your best to do what’s pleasing to God. You will get a blessing if you are obedient. He knows your heart ❤️
 

Prycejosh1987

Active member
Jul 19, 2020
953
166
43
#70
I am not a virgin i only have had sex twice, both times i did all the work. I dont like sex, if i never have sex again i would really not be bothered.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
12,159
3,605
113
#72
More power to you OP.
My daughter was proud to wear here purity ring thru HS and first two years of college.
My boys were unfortunately were more premiscuous by their last two years of HS.
I've sought this new singleness as opportunity to lead by example. Have been celibate now for over 3.5 years.
Here are a couple articles/studies that indicates that sex has become more common at younger ages... less sacred as they have become desensitized via social media...
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cb...oys-having-sex-before-age-13-jama-pediatrics/

https://www.news.iastate.edu/news/2009/aug/teensex
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,304
113
#73
Aye, I know that, you know that and probably Going_Nowhere knows that. But when everybody at w*rk, everybody at school, or even everybody else in your family puts you down for it... sometimes you need to give yourself a pep talk, or get some confirmation from other believers at church or on a christian forum, that what you're doing is really right.

That's why I mentioned that part about environment. Some people have friends, cow*rkers or family who are just not christian. Some places it's not as easy as other places to live a christian life.
Yes this is very true.We live in a world that is obsessed with sex and we are constantly bombarded by sexual imagery in the media,fashion,magazines ect...People who are not Christian often perceive a person whose still a virgin at a certain age as some kinda social sexual failure and say things like "what?? You haven't manage to have sex yet? Bla Bla Bla..and sometimes some Christians can be glad they are still a virgin..yet may struggle with their self worth occassionally due to how other may react when they know.Wisdom is a good thing to have things like ones virginity is worth keeping to oneself f possible.Not easy in a non ChristIan family ect.
Yet sexual sin as mentioned is also to do with what goes on in the thought life ect..motives and much more
.having various lusts within that can dominate someone..ect...a person can be a virgin..not look at porn..but constantly enjoy sexual fantasies 247..craving a sexual experience like food...yet no body can see what's going on inside them..except God naturally.
 

Happy2020

Active member
Oct 5, 2020
114
73
28
#74
Yes this is very true.We live in a world that is obsessed with sex and we are constantly bombarded by sexual imagery in the media,fashion,magazines ect...People who are not Christian often perceive a person whose still a virgin at a certain age as some kinda social sexual failure and say things like "what?? You haven't manage to have sex yet? Bla Bla Bla..and sometimes some Christians can be glad they are still a virgin..yet may struggle with their self worth occassionally due to how other may react when they know.Wisdom is a good thing to have things like ones virginity is worth keeping to oneself f possible.Not easy in a non ChristIan family ect.
Yet sexual sin as mentioned is also to do with what goes on in the thought life ect..motives and much more
.having various lusts within that can dominate someone..ect...a person can be a virgin..not look at porn..but constantly enjoy sexual fantasies 247..craving a sexual experience like food...yet no body can see what's going on inside them..except God naturally.
Yup you are right about that!
 

Happy2020

Active member
Oct 5, 2020
114
73
28
#75
The problem is we engage too much into the world. We really need to limit our internet, tv and social media usage and have a strong community to continue learning G-d's word.
 
Apr 3, 2020
68
22
8
#76
I have 2 male friends who are mid thirties and virgins. They both probably make close to or over 6 figures. Honestly had i not met a buddy at 19 who showed me how to talk to women i would most likely b in the same crowd. I work with only men and never had any large social circles. When thats your life you have no experience or confidence to get experience from what ive seen if men go past a certain point as virgins they are going to stay that way regardless of who they personally meet in the future.

Your not going to b looking for a wife when you havent been able to find a girlfriend for 10-15 years. Eventually it becomes something that you hear that other people do, and it wouldnt matter if a girl talked to you for half an hour these guys dont have the ability to pick up on those social cues. Its like well she talked a lot. Not she was flirting or dropping signs.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,895
8,156
113
#77
I have 2 male friends who are mid thirties and virgins. They both probably make close to or over 6 figures. Honestly had i not met a buddy at 19 who showed me how to talk to women i would most likely b in the same crowd. I work with only men and never had any large social circles. When thats your life you have no experience or confidence to get experience from what ive seen if men go past a certain point as virgins they are going to stay that way regardless of who they personally meet in the future.

Your not going to b looking for a wife when you havent been able to find a girlfriend for 10-15 years. Eventually it becomes something that you hear that other people do, and it wouldnt matter if a girl talked to you for half an hour these guys dont have the ability to pick up on those social cues. Its like well she talked a lot. Not she was flirting or dropping signs.
So... Basically you are saying it is hopeless for me at 42?
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,782
841
113
53
#78
There's nothing wrong with obeying God's Word! I think it shows conviction and strength.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,059
1,320
113
#79
I have 2 male friends who are mid thirties and virgins. They both probably make close to or over 6 figures. Honestly had i not met a buddy at 19 who showed me how to talk to women i would most likely b in the same crowd. I work with only men and never had any large social circles. When thats your life you have no experience or confidence to get experience from what ive seen if men go past a certain point as virgins they are going to stay that way regardless of who they personally meet in the future.

Your not going to b looking for a wife when you havent been able to find a girlfriend for 10-15 years. Eventually it becomes something that you hear that other people do, and it wouldnt matter if a girl talked to you for half an hour these guys dont have the ability to pick up on those social cues. Its like well she talked a lot. Not she was flirting or dropping signs.
Not every female is coquettish or "subtly flirtatious" and are pretty direct in what they want. I don't know about you but every virgin I've met isn't like "yeah I'm a virgin because females aren't attractive and I don't want to ever get married." it's a purity thing and following the word.

To suggest that God has disdain for that and doesn't know their shortcomings (if they exist in that fashion) and isn't able to overcome that is unreasonable.

Plenty of people get married or meet someone in random encounters even at much advanced ages.

If someone has no interest at all in getting married as a pursuit and purposely bottles up any attraction he/she feels and expects "if it's right" to get swept away in emotion all the way to their wedding like in films then I could agree that this is not the right approach.

It could be some need to make a more concentrated effort, but to suggest that if they don't understand the subtlety of the female sex when they want to be coy that they won't ever be married is not what I've seen. There is certainly some of that during the courtship and it flatters the female to notice and operate within that wordless language that she speaks but getting a wife through simple flattery and charm should put any discerning believer on guard.