divorce

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Sep 3, 2016
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#41
You can trust in your own works that will never end, or you can trust in Christ that says done. The very moment you begin to trust in something other than the Cross of Christ for your sanctification, for your victory, for your everyday life and living, it is as if you are going straight to where your old man was buried, digging that old man back up, and strapping him to your shoulders. And what was dead will creep into that which is life, and it will destroy you and kill you.
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
641
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Texas
#42
why do some people think they can ignore a law to suit themselves, the main one it is done with is divorce, our Lord said those who divorce and remarry commit divorce, but that is exactly what some church goers do, if u do divorce then stay single and devote yourself to the Lord.
Why do you sin?
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
641
400
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Texas
#43
My first marriage that lasted 6 1/2 years ended up in divorce in 1984.

Even though my X was both physically and verbally abusive, lazy, and selfish it was not the reason for the divorce. Nor was her cheating on me repeatedly. The reason I was divorced is because my X filed for divorce because she said she did not love me and probably never did. It has nothing at all to do with the Finished Work at Calvary's Cross. There was certainly no victory won either as my life was now in shambles in trying to maintain my relationship with my daughter who was 5 years old at the time.

As for these so-called blessings, it appears that you believe that blessings of grace are earned. If so, than these are not blessings but rather payment for what was earned. Truthfully though, the blessing of grace that flowed through the cross for me was that I was no longer married to that horrible woman.

I am not getting this 'spiritually adultery' stuff you are spouting either.
Hey bro. Sounds like a lot of pain yet to heal. As your brother in Christ I love ya man, Jesus loves you.
 

cobalt1959

Active member
Feb 10, 2019
134
55
28
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#44
it means sexual immorality

all kinds of that going on

adultery is the usual understanding...but sexual immorality has a broader application

marriage should not be a prison nor should it be an insufferable life sentence
Actually, the root concept in view is simply "unfaithfulness." People often restrict this concept to sexual conduct alone, but that is narrowing the definition to support a doctrine that the Church has gotten wrong for a long time. People do not have a free licence to divorce and re-marry over any small issue, but anyone who physically or verbally abuses their spouse is being unfaithful. Anyone who ignores their spouse is being unfaithful. These thing break the marriage covenant and if there is no desire on the part of the violator to correct the problems, a person is not required to stay in that relationship. But even then, the problem is much bigger than a narrow definition of the word. It is how the entire concept of how the issue itself is treated.

Threads get started, like this one, that all divorce is forbidden. That is not true. Then the concept is forwarded that all re-marriage is forbidden, which, again, is incorrect. Divorce is often treated as if it is an unforgivable sin. It is not. Just as with any sin, God knows we are going to make mistakes. God knows that not all marriages will work out. But it is many people's position, that once a person makes this particular mistake, they are now doomed to a life of living alone, paying an earthly price for their sin. This concept completely defies the concept of grace. This seems to give the people who believe this a license to then treat people who have been divorced/re-married as damaged goods who are never quite good enough to get back into God's good graces. And it matters little whether the person had legitimate grounds or not. All people who have been divorced get tossed into the same basket. Second-class citizens. You can see a few examples of that rational right here in this thread.
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
5,964
2,035
113
#45
Actually, the root concept in view is simply "unfaithfulness." People often restrict this concept to sexual conduct alone, but that is narrowing the definition to support a doctrine that the Church has gotten wrong for a long time. People do not have a free licence to divorce and re-marry over any small issue, but anyone who physically or verbally abuses their spouse is being unfaithful. Anyone who ignores their spouse is being unfaithful. These thing break the marriage covenant and if there is no desire on the part of the violator to correct the problems, a person is not required to stay in that relationship. But even then, the problem is much bigger than a narrow definition of the word. It is how the entire concept of how the issue itself is treated.

Threads get started, like this one, that all divorce is forbidden. That is not true. Then the concept is forwarded that all re-marriage is forbidden, which, again, is incorrect. Divorce is often treated as if it is an unforgivable sin. It is not. Just as with any sin, God knows we are going to make mistakes. God knows that not all marriages will work out. But it is many people's position, that once a person makes this particular mistake, they are now doomed to a life of living alone, paying an earthly price for their sin. This concept completely defies the concept of grace. This seems to give the people who believe this a license to then treat people who have been divorced/re-married as damaged goods who are never quite good enough to get back into God's good graces. And it matters little whether the person had legitimate grounds or not. All people who have been divorced get tossed into the same basket. Second-class citizens. You can see a few examples of that rational right here in this thread.

it's actually sexual impurity...which would tie in with the unfaithfulness of Israel...same theme throughout scripture including Paul's letters

I'm fine with the broader 'root' concept and already said as much

good explanation though and I hope people benefit from it instead of locking themselves into a miserable situation and thinking that is God's will for their life
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
1,760
632
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#46
The thing about having lots of friends instead of remarrying is that the more friends one has the least significant each becomes. Personally, I would rather have just one best friend and that is my wife. I wasn't looking for a solution to being single but was lonely for a lifelong companion and traveling partner. Yes, we all should focus on God but what does that mean in a practical sense? We each still have our lives to live.
You are asking me what this means in a practical sense? I can hardly believe am hearing this. You read the Bible, you pray and you go and spread the gospel. With other believers. There are PLENTY of believers that are going out on missions and doing ministry they are not doing it alone. One doesnt need to marry to do this. Do you not know how to be friends with people you meet you cultivate time with each of them it doesnt mean you spend all your time with just ONE person.

Did Jesus when going out doing his minsitry, instead say to his disciples hey brothers Im just going to get married here and dont need you anymore. Im just going to live my own life. You all ought to get married too. Did he say that?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,618
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#47
I want to rant here, but I'll save it for later.
I put a sad face, when I wanted to put a mad face because you have no right to keep that rant to yourself, Hahaha. Stomps feet thinking maybe you were using self control. Sigh, ok, I forgive you, lol.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
1,760
632
113
#48
it's actually sexual impurity...which would tie in with the unfaithfulness of Israel...same theme throughout scripture including Paul's letters

I'm fine with the broader 'root' concept and already said as much

good explanation though and I hope people benefit from it instead of locking themselves into a miserable situation and thinking that is God's will for their life
One needs to sort out who was the unfaithful one and to know that they are repentant. Because God does give a heap of grace. But yes its usually because of unfaithfulness and hardened hearts. Sometimes divorce can be a mercy. I have also seen couples on brink of divorce get back together through the power of God.

Nobody really thinks much about the children in all of this though. Depending on the age they are, its a lot of disruption in their lives. GOd also says people arent called to bondage, and if one is unequally yoked, the unbelieving party is free to leave. But its better not to be unequally yoked at all.

As it is dealing with other peoples broken and wounded hearts is always going to be messy. But God wont turn people away who come back to Him. A lot of people just dont know what to do when they see a grown woman cry, or a man. Thats why most do it where nobody can see, into their pillows.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#49
You are asking me what this means in a practical sense? I can hardly believe am hearing this. You read the Bible, you pray and you go and spread the gospel. With other believers. There are PLENTY of believers that are going out on missions and doing ministry they are not doing it alone. One doesnt need to marry to do this. Do you not know how to be friends with people you meet you cultivate time with each of them it doesnt mean you spend all your time with just ONE person.

Did Jesus when going out doing his minsitry, instead say to his disciples hey brothers Im just going to get married here and dont need you anymore. Im just going to live my own life. You all ought to get married too. Did he say that?
There are many ways to humbly serve the Lord besides going out in missions and do ministry. My current ministry is being a good husband to my wife and setting a good example in the facility where I work. I believe that setting a good example in whatever you do is a solid foundation to build on that opens doors for others to come to you for spiritual insight and inspiration. I was merely responding to the post that said to not worry about being single but rather focus on the Lord, and that instead of getting married get lots of friends instead as if that is going to actually alleviate loneliness. You can be in a room full of friends yet remain very much alone inside of you. Friends are one thing, having a faithful loving spouse to share your life with is another thing altogether. Each day you should focus on the Lord, but in a practical sense that means you live your life doing the best with what God has provided you. At least that is my opinion on what it means to focus on the Lord, an expression that I hear often.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
26,786
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#50
Actually, the root concept in view is simply "unfaithfulness." People often restrict this concept to sexual conduct alone, but that is narrowing the definition to support a doctrine that the Church has gotten wrong for a long time. People do not have a free licence to divorce and re-marry over any small issue, but anyone who physically or verbally abuses their spouse is being unfaithful. Anyone who ignores their spouse is being unfaithful. These thing break the marriage covenant and if there is no desire on the part of the violator to correct the problems, a person is not required to stay in that relationship. But even then, the problem is much bigger than a narrow definition of the word. It is how the entire concept of how the issue itself is treated.

Threads get started, like this one, that all divorce is forbidden. That is not true. Then the concept is forwarded that all re-marriage is forbidden, which, again, is incorrect. Divorce is often treated as if it is an unforgivable sin. It is not. Just as with any sin, God knows we are going to make mistakes. God knows that not all marriages will work out. But it is many people's position, that once a person makes this particular mistake, they are now doomed to a life of living alone, paying an earthly price for their sin. This concept completely defies the concept of grace. This seems to give the people who believe this a license to then treat people who have been divorced/re-married as damaged goods who are never quite good enough to get back into God's good graces. And it matters little whether the person had legitimate grounds or not. All people who have been divorced get tossed into the same basket. Second-class citizens. You can see a few examples of that rational right here in this thread.
Your spiritual perspective on divorce was most refreshing and on target.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,618
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#51
My ex husband was a cross dresser, a drug addict and he eventually molested my daughter. I was nineteen when I married him. My dad was a preacher and I was very sheltered. He, my ex, had come along after I had been raped by six men. I had put myself in a situation and was intoxicated. Anyway, he was my knight and shining armor or so I thought. I was pretty damaged and like the day that incident happened, I wasn't walking with God. After it happened, I was a wreck and never told anyone and am now just really processing it. I realize that I am Jumping around here, but this may be because it is a long story but I feel necessary to make a point. I'm trying to make it brief. After what happened with my daughter, I did divorce him. She was very damaged, but very young. I was too, but I spent the energy focusing on her tragic experiences. I am so proud of her.

Anyway, I then went even more down a road opposite my Lord, for like 15- 20 years. The wilderness was treacherous, horrible things happened, lots of poor choices made, but Praise be to Him, He brought me back to my knees. I have been celibate for almost 7 years now, not sure if remarrying is even ok by God or if it is His will for my life.

I am seeking Christian counseling finally and working through stuff, guilt and shame. I am blessed. My life has not been all bad. God has been good and I am so grateful. I do know that Divorce is wrong but I think it important to remember it isn't always black or white. And many get divorced when they themselves are not saved, and then get remarried and then get saved so what then. There are so many different scenarios. I understand that Divorce is not good, and that is why ideally there would be God centered counseling and prayer prior to an equally yoked union. But that is not always the case, for many reasons. I just think we need not shame others. We all have stuff that isn't pretty and that is why we ALL need Jesus.

I understand your OP's point and stance, just wanted to say....
 

7seasrekeyed

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2017
5,964
2,035
113
#52
One needs to sort out who was the unfaithful one and to know that they are repentant. Because God does give a heap of grace. But yes its usually because of unfaithfulness and hardened hearts. Sometimes divorce can be a mercy. I have also seen couples on brink of divorce get back together through the power of God.

Nobody really thinks much about the children in all of this though. Depending on the age they are, its a lot of disruption in their lives. GOd also says people arent called to bondage, and if one is unequally yoked, the unbelieving party is free to leave. But its better not to be unequally yoked at all.

As it is dealing with other peoples broken and wounded hearts is always going to be messy. But God wont turn people away who come back to Him. A lot of people just dont know what to do when they see a grown woman cry, or a man. Thats why most do it where nobody can see, into their pillows.

ok
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
641
400
63
Texas
#53
I am fairly certain that the word translated there as sexual immorality or fornication, and also adultry should actually be translated as immorality alone. Meaning all immorality, does the Lord expect you to remain married to a serial killer, a cannibal, a murderous thief, a witch, a blasphemer, an abuser, a prostitute, a homosexual, a child abuser, a man who forced his wife into prostitution, a kidnapper, a child sex trafficker, a satanist? There is even a scripture that says if a man does not provide for his family he is worse than a heathen, must the family remain with him to starve?
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
6,232
1,966
113
#54
My ex husband was a cross dresser, a drug addict and he eventually molested my daughter. I was nineteen when I married him. My dad was a preacher and I was very sheltered. He, my ex, had come along after I had been raped by six men. I had put myself in a situation and was intoxicated. Anyway, he was my knight and shining armor or so I thought. I was pretty damaged and like the day that incident happened, I wasn't walking with God. After it happened, I was a wreck and never told anyone and am now just really processing it. I realize that I am Jumping around here, but this may be because it is a long story but I feel necessary to make a point. I'm trying to make it brief. After what happened with my daughter, I did divorce him. She was very damaged, but very young. I was too, but I spent the energy focusing on her tragic experiences. I am so proud of her.

Anyway, I then went even more down a road opposite my Lord, for like 15- 20 years. The wilderness was treacherous, horrible things happened, lots of poor choices made, but Praise be to Him, He brought me back to my knees. I have been celibate for almost 7 years now, not sure if remarrying is even ok by God or if it is His will for my life.

I am seeking Christian counseling finally and working through stuff, guilt and shame. I am blessed. My life has not been all bad. God has been good and I am so grateful. I do know that Divorce is wrong but I think it important to remember it isn't always black or white. And many get divorced when they themselves are not saved, and then get remarried and then get saved so what then. There are so many different scenarios. I understand that Divorce is not good, and that is why ideally there would be God centered counseling and prayer prior to an equally yoked union. But that is not always the case, for many reasons. I just think we need not shame others. We all have stuff that isn't pretty and that is why we ALL need Jesus.

I understand your OP's point and stance, just wanted to say....
May our Father bless you precious lady.

Father we lift our sister up to you.
We pray for healing, we pray release from chains that keep her in bondage.

We pray for wisdom and strength during counseling.

We also pray the same for her daughter.

In Jesus name we ask this.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
2,618
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#55
May our Father bless you precious lady.

Father we lift our sister up to you.
We pray for healing, we pray release from chains that keep her in bondage.

We pray for wisdom and strength during counseling.

We also pray the same for her daughter.

In Jesus name we ask this.
Thank you so very much. God Bless you and yours. I know it was heavy, not sure why I shared it all here, but thanks for lifting us up in prayer and for your kindness and mercy extended.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
26,786
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Florida
#56
My ex husband was a cross dresser, a drug addict and he eventually molested my daughter. I was nineteen when I married him. My dad was a preacher and I was very sheltered. He, my ex, had come along after I had been raped by six men. I had put myself in a situation and was intoxicated. Anyway, he was my knight and shining armor or so I thought. I was pretty damaged and like the day that incident happened, I wasn't walking with God. After it happened, I was a wreck and never told anyone and am now just really processing it. I realize that I am Jumping around here, but this may be because it is a long story but I feel necessary to make a point. I'm trying to make it brief. After what happened with my daughter, I did divorce him. She was very damaged, but very young. I was too, but I spent the energy focusing on her tragic experiences. I am so proud of her.

Anyway, I then went even more down a road opposite my Lord, for like 15- 20 years. The wilderness was treacherous, horrible things happened, lots of poor choices made, but Praise be to Him, He brought me back to my knees. I have been celibate for almost 7 years now, not sure if remarrying is even ok by God or if it is His will for my life.

I am seeking Christian counseling finally and working through stuff, guilt and shame. I am blessed. My life has not been all bad. God has been good and I am so grateful. I do know that Divorce is wrong but I think it important to remember it isn't always black or white. And many get divorced when they themselves are not saved, and then get remarried and then get saved so what then. There are so many different scenarios. I understand that Divorce is not good, and that is why ideally there would be God centered counseling and prayer prior to an equally yoked union. But that is not always the case, for many reasons. I just think we need not shame others. We all have stuff that isn't pretty and that is why we ALL need Jesus.

I understand your OP's point and stance, just wanted to say....
Remarrying is definitely OK by God. There is marriage, and then there is a marriage in which God joins together the man and woman. Two different things.

After my divorce in my first marriage I went off the beaten path for a couple years too living contrary to God's expectations for me. After a period of reflection and prayer I remained alone and celibate for 18 years until I met and married my late second wife. Divorce is wrong but you were the injured party so please keep that in mind. Divorced may not be good but at times the situation necessitates this in order to survive and to allow the healing process begin.

A lot of my stuff has not been pretty either but fortunately for us God understands the human condition quite well, is full of compassion and mercy, and wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. I have been down the road you were on. I am a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks as yourself. Some people learn the hard way but the lesson learned by the experience can prove to be invaluable.

Regarding my life and perhaps yours as well, "it's not so bad if you think about it."

I truly enjoy the spiritual insights you offer with each post you thoughtfully script and provide based on your extensive life experience.

The spiritual wisdom that you are considerate enough to pass on to those that will listen will prove to be invaluable.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
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#57
Remarrying is definitely OK by God. There is marriage, and then there is a marriage in which God joins together the man and woman. Two different things.

After my divorce in my first marriage I went off the beaten path for a couple years too living contrary to God's expectations for me. After a period of reflection and prayer I remained alone and celibate for 18 years until I met and married my late second wife. Divorce is wrong but you were the injured party so please keep that in mind. Divorced may not be good but at times the situation necessitates this in order to survive and to allow the healing process begin.

A lot of my stuff has not been pretty either but fortunately for us God understands the human condition quite well, is full of compassion and mercy, and wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. I have been down the road you were on. I am a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks as yourself. Some people learn the hard way but the lesson learned by the experience can prove to be invaluable.

Regarding my life and perhaps yours as well, "it's not so bad if you think about it."

I truly enjoy the spiritual insights you offer with each post you thoughtfully script and provide based on your extensive life experience.

The spiritual wisdom that you are considerate enough to pass on to those that will listen will prove to be invaluable.
Thank you, Brother. I really appreciate your transparency and spiritual wisdom as well. I do agree that I am thankful for every experience, all of them; they helped my daughter and I get where we need to be, at His feet, where we can be healed and used by Him. Thank you for sharing as you do, helping others do the same, and thanks for listening/reading. God is so beautiful. We are so blessed with the presence of His Holy Spirit within. I hope my sharing didn't derail the OP. I was not seeking to bring focus to me, just felt it relevant to this thread. God Bless you and your wife, Brother.
 
N

NoNameMcgee

Guest
#58
(sorry if anyone saw my deleted post... i made a spelling error and didnt have time to scroll and edit)

God does indeed hate divorce... it is because marriage is designed to be a wonderful example of His relationship with us....

Hosea was made as an example to all of us..... all he still did to be with a prostitute...


as for

"except for the cause of fornication"

moses gave this to us because he knew how wicked man is... but in it was not so in Gods design


matthew 19
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.



that being said


there is a special type of stench that comes off of those who do not understand we all have fallen short and unjustly judge the remarried or divorced..... God also hates lies... have you ever lied?


and sometimes even if not divorce,
separation is best....

do you think david slept in the same bed with michal after she despised him and slandered him in her spite?


i have also heard many not understand the difference between law and grace get very confused when it comes to remarriage taking verses out of context while ignoring others


(coming from someone who has NEVER married and who would pray to even forgive fornication so i can show Gods love in me... who God willing will never divorce if i marry)


but

here


1 Corinthians 7:8

New International Version
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

New Living Translation
So I say to those who aren't married and to widows--it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am.

English Standard Version
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

Berean Study Bible
Now to the unmarried and widows I say this: It is good for them to remain unmarried, as I am.

Berean Literal Bible
Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they should remain as even I.

New American Standard Bible
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

King James Bible
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.


1 Corinthians 7:9

New International Version
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

New Living Translation
But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust.

English Standard Version
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Berean Study Bible
But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Berean Literal Bible
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

New American Standard Bible
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

King James Bible
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.





22. agamos
Strong's Concordance
agamos: unmarried
Original Word: ἄγαμος, οῦ, ὁ, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine; Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: agamos
Phonetic Spelling: (ag'-am-os)
Short Definition: unmarried
Definition: unmarried, of a person not in a state of wedlock, whether he or she has formerly been married or not.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
8,646
3,452
113
#59
You can trust in your own works that will never end, or you can trust in Christ that says done. The very moment you begin to trust in something other than the Cross of Christ for your sanctification, for your victory, for your everyday life and living, it is as if you are going straight to where your old man was buried, digging that old man back up, and strapping him to your shoulders. And what was dead will creep into that which is life, and it will destroy you and kill you.
There is far more going on in a troubled marriage than simply "trusting in Christ" (or not).

Once again, the cross is merely a metaphor, a symbol for the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. The cross by itself has done nothing, and can do nothing, for any person. Jesus Christ did it all.
 
Sep 3, 2016
2,297
215
63
#60
There is far more going on in a troubled marriage than simply "trusting in Christ" (or not).

Once again, the cross is merely a metaphor, a symbol for the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. The cross by itself has done nothing, and can do nothing, for any person. Jesus Christ did it all.
“26 For if we sin willfully (the “willful sin” is the transference of Faith from Christ and Him Crucified to other things) after that we have received the knowledge of the Truth (speaks of the Bible way of Salvation and Victory, which is “Jesus Christ and Him Crucified” [I Cor. 2:2]), there remains no more Sacrifice for sins (if the Cross of Christ is rejected, there is no other Sacrifice or way God will accept),

27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation (refers to God’s Anger because of men rejecting Jesus Christ and the Cross), which shall devour the adversaries. (It is hellfire, which will ultimately come to all who reject Christ and the Cross.)Hebrews 11:26-27

JSM