Ok lets start with His Commandment to love as He loves you.... if your judging others by a standard you do not keep yourself, are you really keeping His Commandment?
1) I love me............surely.........what's not to love? I buy myself a cheeseburger to show my love of me.
2) I love that homeless man just outside on the corner begging for something to eat......I walk by and say "God bless you brother." Have I loved him? I buy a second cheeseburger, hand it to him and say "God bless you brother." Have I loved him? See, I didn't judge him............either time........but did I fulfill the Commandment of Love both times?
[posting this below just as FYI]
I. Biblical references to "legalism"
A. The term "legalism" is not used in the Bible
B. The concept of "legalism" is found extensively throughout the Bible.
1. Old Testament
Isa. 29:13 - (Quoted in Matt. 15:8,9; Mk. 7:6,7
2. New Testament examples (just a few)
Matt. 5:20-28
Matt. 23:1-28
Gal. 2:11-21
Gal. 3:1-3
Col. 2:16-23