Why is the church so accepting of divorce and remarriage?

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Ted01

Well-known member
May 14, 2022
1,055
450
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#61
Most Calvary Chapels use the "Moses model" of leadership. That is, the pastor is directly below God in the chain of command, as was Moses. The elders are there to support "Moses," the pastor. This is blatantly unbiblical. Christ is the head of the Church and we are all equal in Him.

There are a lot of Calvary Chapels out there though so it's conceivable someone's experience might be different.
Hmm, IDK?
The guy that I normally listen to definitely doesn't come across that way at all. In fact, I've heard him say on several occasions that his "access to God" is no different than any believers. He doesn't speak much at all about any hierarchal position in the church other than his personal calling is that of a teacher, and that he has administrative duties particular to "head pastor".

His church is tied to the Costa Mesa church, which was founded in the 60's/70's(?) by Chuck Smith (I believe?). But they run themselves rather independently. I've looked at the website for the Costa Mesa one, but it seemed a bit too shiny and pretentious for my tastes... can't speak to anything that goes on there.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
7,501
3,116
113
#62
Hmm, IDK?
The guy that I normally listen to definitely doesn't come across that way at all. In fact, I've heard him say on several occasions that his "access to God" is no different than any believers. He doesn't speak much at all about any hierarchal position in the church other than his personal calling is that of a teacher, and that he has administrative duties particular to "head pastor".

His church is tied to the Costa Mesa church, which was founded in the 60's/70's(?) by Chuck Smith (I believe?). But they run themselves rather independently. I've looked at the website for the Costa Mesa one, but it seemed a bit too shiny and pretentious for my tastes... can't speak to anything that goes on there.
Okay, you're the exception.
 
R

RichMan

Guest
#64
Calvary Chapel, watched many sermons online and on tape from different pastors.
OK, you named one, but you implied ALL with your post.
Do not judge ALL by what you perceive as wrong in one.
Makes you look foolish.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#65
Pat robinson supported Newt Gingrich, even though he married 3 times and divorced his first two wives then they became sick. Not to mention the number of Pastors who supported Trump, no matter when he said or did.
OK, you named one, but you implied ALL with your post.
Do not judge ALL by what you perceive as wrong in one.
Makes you look foolish.
I have listened to many Pastors, none have addressed this issue.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#66
Hmm, IDK?
The guy that I normally listen to definitely doesn't come across that way at all. In fact, I've heard him say on several occasions that his "access to God" is no different than any believers. He doesn't speak much at all about any hierarchal position in the church other than his personal calling is that of a teacher, and that he has administrative duties particular to "head pastor".

His church is tied to the Costa Mesa church, which was founded in the 60's/70's(?) by Chuck Smith (I believe?). But they run themselves rather independently. I've looked at the website for the Costa Mesa one, but it seemed a bit too shiny and pretentious for my tastes... can't speak to anything that goes on there.
If you look at their Singles group, it's now both Singles and Married. I think that is a bad mix, but the last Singles Pastor started that. It use to be Singles only.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,607
7,644
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#67
That sounds like an invitation to temptation perhaps.
What say ye?:):unsure::coffee:
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#68
I was there when the new couple took over the Calvary Chapel Singles. They started off great. They told the Singles group, the group is for singles only. If you're separated, there are other groups for you. They are there for singles. After a while their friends in the group got married and the couple allowed them to stay. They claimed they were there to help with the singles. Many people disagreed, They went to Chuck Smith and were told the couple was in charge. He wasn't going to interfere. Some people left the group. After a while the couple told the Singles Group, This is not a dating group, you're not here to find a date. (They must have had problems with the singles, not knowing who was married, asking them out) At that point I left the group.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
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Calif
#69
That sounds like an invitation to temptation perhaps.
What say ye?:):unsure::coffee:
I agree, but the couple backed their friends and refused to listen to the singles in the group. Sadly some pastors become territorial. Their attitude is, It's my ministry and what I say goes. It happens in businesses and churches. It's why Paul said "Study to show yourself approved" The Bereans didn't even trust Paul.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,607
7,644
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#70
It really is a narrow path.
I understand why many would rather be with the Lord than with people.:):unsure:(y):coffee:
 
R

RichMan

Guest
#71
I have listened to many Pastors, none have addressed this issue.
Some? How many? Have you heard all they have taught?
My guess you have heard very few.
You seem to be one of those who only enjoyment in life is tearing down others.
Especially those who are trying to serve God.
Your post are not worthy of my time.
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
773
113
#72
I really don't like it when a Christian who has much, tells me I should be thankful to GOD for what little I have.
The sooner you focus on yourself rather than other people the sooner you’ll be happy.
 

Diakonos

Well-known member
Jan 19, 2019
1,370
432
83
30
Anacortes, WA
#73
Pat robinson supported Newt Gingrich, even though he married 3 times and divorced his first two wives then they became sick. Not to mention the number of Pastors who supported Trump, no matter when he said or did. Sto[ supporting the man. You may support some of the ideas they have, but not when they go against scripture.
yep
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
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Calif
#74
The sooner you focus on yourself rather than other people the sooner you’ll be happy.
Hard to do when you're struggling to get by month to month. The two family members who I helped from becoming homeless, and help one to get their pension and Social Security, now they have enough income that they don't have to work again. But I'm now in the position of having to keep working into my 70's.
 

Blik

Senior Member
Dec 6, 2016
7,312
2,424
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#75
The sooner you focus on yourself rather than other people the sooner you’ll be happy.
It seems to me that the more I focus on God and accept the earthly situations I am in the happier I am.

I'll have lived 100 years in a couple of years, it has taken that long to teach myself to give my day to the Lord within each morning as I wake up. I have consulted Christ about decisions I must make, but not often enough. Christ wants to be part of everything, from buying a house or car to caring for our children.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
24,167
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#76
But I'm now in the position of having to keep working into my 70's.
Consider yourself fortunate. Moses worked till he was 120. Work keeps you fit and strong, and Moses was strong at 120. And Moses was an hundred and twenty years old when he died: his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated. (Deut 34:7)
 
N

notonmywatch

Guest
#77
Because sex is very important to some, it's having the physical contact. Read the Song of Solomon. It's all about sex. Jesus and Paul were very clear, one of the reasons for getting married is to have sex.
First of all, sex is confined to the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13

4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Whoremongers, which is elsewhere translated as fornicators, and adulterers, God will judge.

Are you looking to get married?

If you're not, then you shouldn't be thinking about sex because, again, it's confined, by God, to the marriage bed. If you are looking to get married, then marriage is about a lot more than just sex or physical contact.

Ephesians 5

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

If you're considering marriage, then are you prepared to love your wife even as Christ loved the church? Are you willing to sacrificially give yourself for her? Are you ready to sanctify her with the washing of the word? Are you willing to love her as your own body while nourishing her and cherishing her? Or are you just looking for some physical contact? Again, sex is confined, by God, to the marriage bed, and marriage has to do with a lot more than just physical contact.

The Song of Solomon isn't all about sex. If that's all you see when you read it, then your vision is greatly blurred.

As far as what the Bible says about sex is concerned, have you ever truly considered the following?

Malachi 2

15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed.

One of the reasons why God makes the two one in marriage is because he is seeking a godly seed.

Are you willing to be a father?

A father who will train up his child/children in the way that he/she/they should go?

Or are you just looking for some physical contact?

Women aren't pin cushions.

They're people.

They're not only somebody's daughter, but if we're talking about a Christian woman, then she is God's daughter.

Your comments about sex don't come across as being respectful to women to me.

Can you say something about a woman that isn't tied directly to sex?
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#78
First of all, sex is confined to the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13

4Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Whoremongers, which is elsewhere translated as fornicators, and adulterers, God will judge.

Are you looking to get married?

If you're not, then you shouldn't be thinking about sex because, again, it's confined, by God, to the marriage bed. If you are looking to get married, then marriage is about a lot more than just sex or physical contact.

Ephesians 5

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

If you're considering marriage, then are you prepared to love your wife even as Christ loved the church? Are you willing to sacrificially give yourself for her? Are you ready to sanctify her with the washing of the word? Are you willing to love her as your own body while nourishing her and cherishing her? Or are you just looking for some physical contact? Again, sex is confined, by God, to the marriage bed, and marriage has to do with a lot more than just physical contact.

The Song of Solomon isn't all about sex. If that's all you see when you read it, then your vision is greatly blurred.

As far as what the Bible says about sex is concerned, have you ever truly considered the following?

Malachi 2

15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed.

One of the reasons why God makes the two one in marriage is because he is seeking a godly seed.

Are you willing to be a father?

A father who will train up his child/children in the way that he/she/they should go?

Or are you just looking for some physical contact?

Women aren't pin cushions.

They're people.

They're not only somebody's daughter, but if we're talking about a Christian woman, then she is God's daughter.

Your comments about sex don't come across as being respectful to women to me.

Can you say something about a woman that isn't tied directly to sex?
Try telling a group of teens it's a sin for them to even think of sex. Have you ever read the Song of Solomon and not thought of sex. The whole book is about sex.
 
N

notonmywatch

Guest
#79
Try telling a group of teens it's a sin for them to even think of sex. Have you ever read the Song of Solomon and not thought of sex. The whole book is about sex.
I would gladly tell teens, or anybody else, that sex is confined to marriage, and that marriage is about a lot more than just physical contact. In fact, I already have many times.

I've read the Song of Solomon many times, and it's not all about sex. Again, your vision is greatly blurred if that's all that you see. The Song of Solomon is all about LOVE. If you missed that, then you missed everything.

Song of Solomon

6Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
7Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

Btw, I noticed that you didn't answer any of my questions, nor did you say anything about a woman that isn't directly tied to sex.

Why am I not surprised?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#80
seems to be just a calvary chapel thing?
Maybe its become a bit cult like. Find a different church, they wont all be like that.

I get confused about the whole divorce and remarry thing, and often its unclear whos fault the divorce...I would say adulterers would be at fault for remarrying rather than those who are cuckolded.
some people can be worse than infidels in that regard.

I understand widows remarrying.

Jesus said Moses allowed men to divorce their wives because mens hearts were hard. But it was not that way from the beginning.

Moses didnt mention any other part of the anatomy.


am not sure what OPs situation is if hes divorced or remarried or why hes so concerned. I would search the scripture to see if these these things are so. King Solomon as far as I know didnt divorce any of his what, 700 wives and 300concubines. I dont know why he had so many. It just seems beyond reason cos surely he didnt have that many children.

One of the crazier stories in the Bible, but then people did crazy things back on those days.