Fustrating ..

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Depleted

Guest
#41
I understand that it's life.... Im just venting as well....Me time? I never said I needed that...or ask of that...thank yoU for reminding me ofGods grace I do sometimes forget. Thank you for replying God Bless you :)
Oh, you really do need me-time. The Lord designed all of creation to rest. Once every seven days for people. Once every seven years for the land. And then once every 50 years for everything. And he's very fussy about it too. (Fussy in a good way.)

A friend of my old pastor didn't believe "Sabbath rest" included pastors, and he was a pastor. So he didn't take off on any day of the week. When he was forced to rest after his heart attack, he did some studying in the Bible. And then he did some math.

First he discovered that every time the Israelites were exiled, the number of years exiled matched the number of years they did not rest themselves or their land. It included the Jubilee rest too.

Then he did the math on himself. It took him exactly as many days to recover from the heart attack as the number of Sabbath Rest days he did not take.

We physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally need to rest one day of the week. Spend one day relaxing and with our Lord, or we fall apart too young. What we will not do for ourselves, God will force on us.

If it helps any, I have been disabled since 1999. My husband since 2002. We have a three bedroom house, and can no longer keep up with the cleaning. (Still, very, very thrilled Ed, Rich, and friends helped us with that last summer.) Much to my surprise, (because I was raised by two clean freaks as parents, so really thought keeping a house clean was one of the top three goals in life), the house did not fall down because of dirt. We have medical problems, and yet have had less colds, flues, and other bacteria/viruses/germ-related health issues, despite a less-than-clean house. AND, biggest surprised is we learned to enjoy each other more, and worry about the house less.

If you're stuck in that must-keep-house-in-order-for-children's-sake thingy, stop it. You really do not have to! Yes, when they become adults, they will openly-announce which kind of mom you were on keeping the house clean, (as I just admitted to being the product of two clean-freaks lol), but it also works out they'll remember the times you spent with them more. All kids make fun of their parents housekeeping abilities, and yet, most do not make fun of their parent's children-keeping abilities. Be that Mom!

And, as for your husband? Ask him to be that Dad. And that Husband! Your kids will live with you for less years than you've been alive. If all goes well, you'll have your husband living with you for more than two-thirds of your whole life. Possibly longer than that. You only get him once. Let him know you want him more while you have him.

Don't deprive anyone of me-time, just because someone guilts you out of thinking you need it. God gave us me-time one day a week. And we are fortunate enough to have them-time for six days! That doesn't suck. That's a good design!
 
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Depleted

Guest
#42
As a father of four competitive athletes, who has ran the gauntlet for almost 20 years now, here are some tips;
1. Get only one type of socks, per colour. White, black and whatever. You will lose hours and your mind sorting through the sock basket wondering where the matches went.

2.If it’s not dirty, it’s not dirty. When the kids throw their clothes in the wash, if it’s not dirty I just refold it. Towels that haven’t been used more than once go straight to the drier. They don’t know and after a year of telling them to hang up their towels, I don’t care.

3. Food is food. I’m not blaming June Cleaver (a character from an old tv show) for setting an unattainable standard, but I’m not saying she’s innocent. Each night their family would sit around a perfectly set table as she would happily serve her family a delicious meal while everyone eats every morsel without complaint. Spending more time in arenas and dance studios, than in our house, causes nutrition to be a challenge. Every Sunday I make a pot of chili, or stew, or speghetti sauce and a pot of soup. This becomes the meals on the go or quick meals. We usually have cooked chicken breast in the fridge that can be used in salad or topped with salsa and cheese, chicken fried rice or a sandwich. By nature we are hunter gatherers, a cheese string, baby carrots and hummus, even just a piece of fruit is enough to get by. In all honesty the body’s digestion functions better when you eat only one type of food at a time. Protein and fats or carbs, not together.

4. Remember Christ said if something causes you to sin get rid of it. Pluck out your eye, cut off your hand.....cross off unnecessary “to dos” from the list. Don’t make the cupcakes just because Billy’s mom did. They only liked Billy more for about a couple of hours. Way too much time spent these days doing things that don’t need to be done, while we struggle. So don’t major in the minor things.

5. Don’t do for your kids what they can do for themselves. When my wife went to work full time I told my kids they needed to make their own lunches. The first week was bumpy getting into routines, they didn’t pack them as I or my my wife would. At the same time there wasn’t as much coming back home at the end of the day either.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Kids screw up, do stupid stuff and will embarrass you. My good friend texted me while I was away at a hockey tournament and asked why my younger son (12) was in front of his church with his pants pulled down. Obviously, I was baffled. When I asked my son about the incident, apparently he and his friends were talking about underwear (for whatever reason) and he pulled down his jogging pants and said, “I’m Batman!” It wasn’t a shining moment in parent history but it’s a funny story. That’s all we are going to have one day, stories. Kids aren’t going to remember how hard we worked, as much as they will remember how hard we laughed. Our family laughs hard.

There’s a couple tips to keep you in the game. Are you aware that in the 1950s, doctors prescribed amphetamines (speed) to moms to keep them going. Mamas little helpers, they called them, inspiring the Beatles song. Back then we should have opened our eyes to the unnecessary stressors and unachievable expectations placed on our women. Last tip, don’t get sucked into social media like “Bragbook”. They are addictive like food and sex, filling your brain with the same chemicals. That “like” button seriously triggers the humans need for acceptance to be fulfilled. Serotonin and dopamine are released just like eating sugar and sex. As well, it causes people to compare their hot mess to the photoshopped lives of others. Be blessed, you’re doing awesome.
In all fairness to the 1950s-1960s Mom, permapress hadn't been invented yet, and yet, kids and husbands often had to wear starched shirts. (And have you ever seen how wrinkled sheets can get, if there is no permapress in them? I still think Mom was nuts to iron sheets, but man! They do wrinkle pass what they're able to do now with permapress in the design.)

Hamburger-Helper and Hot Pockets hadn't been invented yet, but dinner came anyway. Store-bought canned vegetables make diner-vegetables seem under cooked. (Mushy and incredibly salty. I still think I like the taste of wax beans because they taste like salt. lol)

Washers actually had a crank on them to dry the clothes. And dryers? What they dried as a full load, we'd consider half a load, and it took twice as long to dry, so easier to hang the big clothes outside.

And wives didn't have cars. Who ever heard of a two car family? So, if kids had to go to the doctor's office, mothers walked with them. Need new shoes? Let's walk. Need new clothes? Let's walk. Mothers didn't have to go to sports practice, but they did walk to the games... with the rest of the kids in tow.

And, since wives didn't have cars, guess who did the shopping, even if the wife was doing the cooking all week. (List. Our shopping list was forever long. lol)

AND, then there was clothing. I didn't even know there was any such thing as a tailor to do seams, and yet, the skirt or the trousers had to last a whole school year, and we were growing, so mom was the seamstress.

Plus, add to that, the average family had 5-6 kids in it. Now we're down to 2 being average.
 

Deade

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2017
3,678
1,631
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#43
Hello TrustingGod4life, it really disturbs me when I see some employers working their people 12-13 hrs. per day / 6 days a week. They should be ashamed of themselves. For God's sake hire more people. As a retired businessman, I understand their reluctance to hire more people. It seems just when you do, business slows down. But how long can you drive employees to work these kind of hours. People get tired and burnt out, and soon you are not getting your money's worth. Sister I will be praying for you and your family. God notices your efforts. :cool:


 
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Depleted

Guest
#44
Hello TrustingGod4life, it really disturbs me when I see some employers working their people 12-13 hrs. per day / 6 days a week. They should be ashamed of themselves. For God's sake hire more people. As a retired businessman, I understand their reluctance to hire more people. It seems just when you do, business slows down. But how long can you drive employees to work these kind of hours. People get tired and burnt out, and soon you are not getting your money's worth. Sister I will be praying for you and your family. God notices your efforts. :cool:


Back in the 1990s, I was going on vacation to go fishing in Canada. No big deal. I was the bookkeeper, and had brought the books up to date before I left. (Real books back then too. lol)

My boss wanted to know a phone number where he could reach me. Fishing in Canada! No phones! (And, although I had a cellphone back then, even if they had cell towers, it cost me if someone called, and cost doubled, because it wasn't a local call. Only 2-3 places in the whole "local" had phones too. lol)

He insisted I give him a phone number, so I did --
1 (800) GET - REAL.

I still had the job when I returned, although I had to catch up with the books quickly.

I think too many people assume bosses will fire them if they don't prove their willing to work 24/7. Be a good worker, and the boss won't fire you. If the boss fires you for wanting life outside of work, it was well past time to find a new job anyway.

Every job I ever had survived without me before I started working there, and survived when I left. I served my purpose, (and then some, but more because I hate being bored at work lol), while there, and knew they'd have to find someone after I left. Only once did a boss beg me to stay after I left.

Funny thing. The same boss who insisted I give him a phone number when there was none to give, and I wouldn't anyway.

He also knew why I left. Really not into gunfights between drug dealers right outside my door. Sure, they're lousy shots, but that's why they were more dangerous. I was NOT the target. lol
 
Dec 26, 2017
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#45
Oh, you really do need me-time. The Lord designed all of creation to rest. Once every seven days for people. Once every seven years for the land. And then once every 50 years for everything. And he's very fussy about it too. (Fussy in a good way.)

A friend of my old pastor didn't believe "Sabbath rest" included pastors, and he was a pastor. So he didn't take off on any day of the week. When he was forced to rest after his heart attack, he did some studying in the Bible. And then he did some math.

First he discovered that every time the Israelites were exiled, the number of years exiled matched the number of years they did not rest themselves or their land. It included the Jubilee rest too.

Then he did the math on himself. It took him exactly as many days to recover from the heart attack as the number of Sabbath Rest days he did not take.

We physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally need to rest one day of the week. Spend one day relaxing and with our Lord, or we fall apart too young. What we will not do for ourselves, God will force on us.

If it helps any, I have been disabled since 1999. My husband since 2002. We have a three bedroom house, and can no longer keep up with the cleaning. (Still, very, very thrilled Ed, Rich, and friends helped us with that last summer.) Much to my surprise, (because I was raised by two clean freaks as parents, so really thought keeping a house clean was one of the top three goals in life), the house did not fall down because of dirt. We have medical problems, and yet have had less colds, flues, and other bacteria/viruses/germ-related health issues, despite a less-than-clean house. AND, biggest surprised is we learned to enjoy each other more, and worry about the house less.

If you're stuck in that must-keep-house-in-order-for-children's-sake thingy, stop it. You really do not have to! Yes, when they become adults, they will openly-announce which kind of mom you were on keeping the house clean, (as I just admitted to being the product of two clean-freaks lol), but it also works out they'll remember the times you spent with them more. All kids make fun of their parents housekeeping abilities, and yet, most do not make fun of their parent's children-keeping abilities. Be that Mom!

And, as for your husband? Ask him to be that Dad. And that Husband! Your kids will live with you for less years than you've been alive. If all goes well, you'll have your husband living with you for more than two-thirds of your whole life. Possibly longer than that. You only get him once. Let him know you want him more while you have him.

Don't deprive anyone of me-time, just because someone guilts you out of thinking you need it. God gave us me-time one day a week. And we are fortunate enough to have them-time for six days! That doesn't suck. That's a good design!
Thank you Lynn! I will admit I can be that mom. I believe because my mom stayed on us constantly about keeping a clean house. My dad always taught cleaning the house is showing appreciation for what God has blessed you with. My mom always comes over and tells me wha isn't cleaned lol

I agree with you, I use to always think why did God give the sabbath just because He's God I don't see him needing it. It was for a reason, as I'm learning. Now as far as what day should be our sabbath?

Yes after, he he's off today, I'm going to talk to him I need help and I'm getting worn down a lot. Thank you very very very much for your encouragement and advice. Even telling me about your experience that helps a lot!
 
Dec 26, 2017
277
10
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#46
Hello TrustingGod4life, it really disturbs me when I see some employers working their people 12-13 hrs. per day / 6 days a week. They should be ashamed of themselves. For God's sake hire more people. As a retired businessman, I understand their reluctance to hire more people. It seems just when you do, business slows down. But how long can you drive employees to work these kind of hours. People get tired and burnt out, and soon you are not getting your money's worth. Sister I will be praying for you and your family. God notices your efforts. :cool:


Yes! He works for the state and he works 7 days here lately. Thank you I do need the prayers!
 

MissCris

Senior Member
Aug 24, 2011
6,601
261
83
#47
You can take a shower in five minutes?


That hormonal change during pregnancy really sticks around, huh? And I thought I was fast at 15 minutes. lol
I can do it when my only options are that or miss the window and start attracting flies ;)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#48
Thank you Lynn! I will admit I can be that mom. I believe because my mom stayed on us constantly about keeping a clean house. My dad always taught cleaning the house is showing appreciation for what God has blessed you with. My mom always comes over and tells me wha isn't cleaned lol

I agree with you, I use to always think why did God give the sabbath just because He's God I don't see him needing it. It was for a reason, as I'm learning. Now as far as what day should be our sabbath?

Yes after, he he's off today, I'm going to talk to him I need help and I'm getting worn down a lot. Thank you very very very much for your encouragement and advice. Even telling me about your experience that helps a lot!
[FONT=&quot]“The Sabbath was made for man, [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]not man for the Sabbath."[/FONT]
 

Bebe11

Junior Member
Oct 30, 2016
17
0
0
#51
TrustingGod4Life, I like your Username. We all have moments of frustration. Sometimes we have to stop, pray and TRUST God to take over. Being a parent can be difficult at times, and life will throw you a curve ball now and then...so...Take a deep breath and ask God to help you. God put your family together for a reason. You have some really good advice from other posters, but I just want to say that I hope you will cherish every single moment you have with your children. They grow up so fast.

Also, I love your attitude. You have responded to the other posters with such a kind, positive reply. You sound like a precious momma. You can do this, sweet momma! Hang in there!
 
Dec 26, 2017
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#52
TrustingGod4Life, I like your Username. We all have moments of frustration. Sometimes we have to stop, pray and TRUST God to take over. Being a parent can be difficult at times, and life will throw you a curve ball now and then...so...Take a deep breath and ask God to help you. God put your family together for a reason. You have some really good advice from other posters, but I just want to say that I hope you will cherish every single moment you have with your children. They grow up so fast.

Also, I love your attitude. You have responded to the other posters with such a kind, positive reply. You sound like a precious momma. You can do this, sweet momma! Hang in there!
Hi Bebe11 thank you,I like the username it's what I press at during more daily. Thank you very much for your advice. I think sometimes I think I can do it all and I just can't, especially without any rest.

Thank you, I like to respond in love. Thank you I'm trying to be a good mom and wife and most importantly follower of Christ... God Bless you!
 
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finaldesire

Guest
#53
....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
You're not losing your faith, and even if you did would that nullify Gods promise that he would never leave nor forsake you? I lost my faith for a number of years, I hated God and wanted to kill him. But in his faithfulness he did not forsake me. I ventured into such darkness that I was sure I was lost. But in his faithfulness he did not leave me.
 
Dec 26, 2017
277
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#54
You're not losing your faith, and even if you did would that nullify Gods promise that he would never leave nor forsake you? I lost my faith for a number of years, I hated God and wanted to kill him. But in his faithfulness he did not forsake me. I ventured into such darkness that I was sure I was lost. But in his faithfulness he did not leave me.
That's true, I believe his Word that he won't leave me for forsake me. Yeah sometimes i do feel that way... but even when I do I find myself right back to Him!
 
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finaldesire

Guest
#55
That's true, I believe his Word that he won't leave me for forsake me. Yeah sometimes i do feel that way... but even when I do I find myself right back to Him!
It's not like we can avoid the greatness of love that will one day wash over the entire universe.
 

mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,449
199
63
#60
I didn’t see anyone say anything about needing “me time”. Well, I mentioned finding five minutes to have a shower, but bathing is just as much a service to those around us as it is a small break for ourselves ;)

Ok... Point well taken.... Back to what I originally said... Welcome to life....