Husband would rather masturbate than have sex with me

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
I believe your veiled anger is peeking through in your posts.
It isn't something a Christian should post, at least not the way she did, but then, she is a woman, women get mad at people, men get mad at things. If a man does something wrong another man will notice the act and not take it out on the person, it is the act that needs change.
If a woman gets mad at something a person does, the woman will be mad at the person for having done it, rather than the act.
These are tendencies of course.
If there are any men here who aren't whipped they will chime in.
blessings
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
This is from mark Gungor who has a great couples ministry, just 5 minutes, hope you enjoy.

blessings
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
I believe your veiled anger is peeking through in your posts.
It isn't something a Christian should post, at least not the way she did, but then, she is a woman, women get mad at people, men get mad at things. If a man does something wrong another man will notice the act and not take it out on the person, it is the act that needs change.
If a woman gets mad at something a person does, the woman will be mad at the person for having done it, rather than the act.
These are tendencies of course.
If there are any men here who aren't whipped they will chime in.
blessings
I'm not mad at all. :) Just wondering why you seem to keep blaming the wife. The husband is the one with the sex problem. He has an addiction, or did 4 years ago. It's not the wife's fault that he's a porn addict. Either he had it when he married her, or he hid it from her until she found out on her own.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
If my man preferred boinking himself instead of me, I'd be mad too. However I think the wife is more frustrated and confused, rather than angry.

Don't matter now anyway. This all happened 4 years ago.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
not blaming here.
People tend to project on others the way they feel about themselves, since you keep posting stuff like "Just wondering why you seem to keep blaming the wife. The husband is the one with the sex problem" when none here even know if the post has any truth to it at all, it might all be bogus.
We are ALL to look at life through the lens of the Father, not ourselves, THAT is how we will do His Will on earth.
blessings
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
Why would she post such an intimate subject if it were bogus? That makes no sense. We're to look at people, as if they are telling the truth, and be able to discern. We can't really do that online.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
You can if you understand that to discern requires relationship and time spent with the Father in Jesus Name. too often what we call "discerning" is actually reading for visual clues, that is not discernment.
Why would anyone lie or tell a bogus story? Happens all the time in a sin filled world.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
And sometimes people actually tell the truth. And have serious addictions which alienate their loved ones.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
and sometimes people speculate on the internet when they should be in fellowship with the Father with every thought, word, and deed, as the Bible instructs us.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
and sometimes people speculate on the internet when they should be in fellowship with the Father with every thought, word, and deed, as the Bible instructs us.
We are. :)

So, are we supposed to shun those who come asking for advice?
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
What does Jesus tell you to do?
We are ALL supposed to be in relationship with Jesus.
If you ask Him first you "advice" will be His. We ALL should know this by now.
He requires FIRST place in our lives.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
The door swings both ways, very seldom is a "marriage problem" only one persons fault. You accuse of blaming her while you are blaming him.
The wo,am always blames the man, the man seldom if ever blames the woman.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
The door swings both ways, very seldom is a "marriage problem" only one persons fault. You accuse of blaming her while you are blaming him.
The wo,am always blames the man, the man seldom if ever blames the woman.

That's because this particular guy IS THE ONE WITH THE SEX ADDICTION.. SHE wasn't addicted to sex. She tried and tried to get him to have sex with HER, and not HIMSELF. And YOU are the one who said, "something happened and she knows what, if she's honest with herself".

So YOU pretty much blamed her. It wasn't me. I don't even blame HIM. He had an addiction. You can't help someone who has an addiction.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
627
113
You are not a dr. Blue, you are not able to give a diagnosis, indeed even a physician is not capable of making a diagnosis
WITHOUT SEEING THE PATIENT!
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
3,333
1,373
113
[email protected] and @Blue-ladybug,

I've been reading every word of your posts and every single post on this thread because the Original Poster of this thread basically described my marriage for the last 23 years and described my pain. We can play the "blame game" but, it doesn't fix anything it hinders progress and healing.

It is best to diagnose the problem correctly and then search for solutions.

Ironically, out of my pain and sadness I learned to laugh. Perhaps I will hijack this thread and carry on where the OP left off.........................

 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
Well, responding to the OP is fruitless. This is a 4 year old thread and she's not here anymore.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
You are not a dr. Blue, you are not able to give a diagnosis, indeed even a physician is not capable of making a diagnosis
WITHOUT SEEING THE PATIENT!
I NEVER SAID that I'm a doctor. But the OP DID ask for advice. So myself and others here gave advice. The FACT is, HE WAS the one with the addiction.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
3,333
1,373
113
Well, responding to the OP is fruitless. This is a 4 year old thread and she's not here anymore.
Very well, then. I am well acquainted with her situation. I will carry on in her stead. Let's walk through this problem and perhaps help A LOT of people and marriages!! :love:(y)

We might even learn to laugh a long the way........:giggle:
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
67,947
5,876
113
I'll leave you to it then. I don't know how to deal with people who have an addiction to sex. Or any addiction for that matter.