Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Feb 5, 2023
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Did you wear your wedding dress again?

I had a ball gown that I wore about three times but now I dont know where it is.

I think married women should have a bridal dress party where they get dress up in their gowns (or bridesmaids or flower girl dresses) as at least then they get a chance to wear them again!

Otherwise Im not sure what they do with them after the wedding.
That's a good idea for the dresses.
No, never wore it again. I did have it preserved at the drycleaner and it's in our closet now. Presumably it's a tradition so to pass the dress to a daughter for her wedding.
 

Gideon300

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Mar 18, 2021
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I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?
I got married last year. I'm 71 and my wife is 70, both pensioners. We spent a few hundred dollars. The honeymoon was a bit more costly, but we could afford it. I believe that people living together/not married is a fear of commitment as much as anything. Lavish weddings can lead to an anticlimax. The wedding day may be the best day, especially for the bride. It's not much to look forward to if that's the case.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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That's a good idea for the dresses.
No, never wore it again. I did have it preserved at the drycleaner and it's in our closet now. Presumably it's a tradition so to pass the dress to a daughter for her wedding.
what. I dont know any daughter who would want to wear her mothers old wedding gown....
 

Lanolin

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I'm not sure I really like weddings all that much. People sure like to get drunk at them which seems to be the main reason people go these days...free booze.

I know Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding at Cana so even back then it was expensive. He also fed 5000 people. Im not sure that he was THAT keen on weddings. In the Bible its never mentioned who actually got married at Cana.

When I spoke to my business teacher about her business as a wedding planner she said most of her clients just wanted to marry at the sky city casino. I suppose for some its a gamble.
 

Lanolin

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Yes. She has 2 sisters and girl cousins. Her goal was to out do all their weddings.
er..why

I know some peeps proudly display their wedding photos in their living rooms but my parents seemed even embarassed they were married for that long on their ruby anniversary. And in our living room all mum cares about is our graduation photos.

A cap and gown and a university education (to become a bachelor at least) was always the goal...never a wedding, so all money went to that. I know students would marry so they could have a student allowance though and save on living costs.

wedding dont make sense, you dont get to parade down the main street in town like you do at your graduation ceremony. My cap and gown was hired though cos you only wearing it for one day.

Also you can wear whatver you like underneath but most graduates dressed up to look smart.
 

Lanolin

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Eggs are expensive...weddings are expensive, building a house (and maintaining it) is expensive...education is expensive....everything is expensive.

I know.

It sucks being poor :-(

Poor people miss out on so much that the rich take for granted.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
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Eggs are expensive...weddings are expensive, building a house (and maintaining it) is expensive...education is expensive....everything is expensive.

I know.

It sucks being poor :-(

Poor people miss out on so much that the rich take for granted.
Cheer up. The poorest of us have smart phones. What more could anyone want?
 

Lanolin

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Cheer up. The poorest of us have smart phones. What more could anyone want?
I dont need one but was given a cast off phone by someone who was richer than me lol

I won this ipad so its not like I paid thousands of dollars for it. Otherwise poor students just borrow devices from the library.
 

Lanolin

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Ive never seen anyone actually win a wedding though. These days its the couple that pay for it not the parents. I think parents can only really afford one wedding, usually for the firstborn.
 

Billyd

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I dont need one but was given a cast off phone by someone who was richer than me lol

I won this ipad so its not like I paid thousands of dollars for it. Otherwise poor students just borrow devices from the library.
Look around you. How many children do you see under five years old with smart phones?
 

Genipher

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Jan 6, 2019
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Look around you. How many children do you see under five years old with smart phones?
Psh. My kids don't get a phone until they're in college or get a job. It's bad enough we have a computer for them to dink around on, they're not getting phones and turning into mindless zombies.
 

I_am_Canadian

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Dec 8, 2014
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I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?
I think the problem is that the world doesn't regard it as a religious ceremony. They treat it like a fashion show.

As for the price, I think the issue is that we lost a lot of essential skills which is why prices keep going up.

Why book a hall when you can use your church? Why hire a caterer when your church family can pitch in with finger foods. Why buy a dress if you can buy the fabric and make your own or hire someone in the church to make it for you??

But this requires planning, time management, and budgeting. It requires people in the church to pull together and work together. Plus it requires talents with sewing and cooking.

You'll find a DIY wedding is significantly cheaper than paying all kinds of professionals to do the work for you, because your paying their salaries, their deposits and fees, taxes, and over head business costs.

Convenience comes at a cost, if your willing to pay the price.
 

Billyd

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May 8, 2014
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The reasons for the prices going up are an increase by the FED of $3T in the money supply and the interruption of the supply chain by covid19 shutdown mismanagement.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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The reasons for the prices going up are an increase by the FED of $3T in the money supply and the interruption of the supply chain by covid19 shutdown mismanagement.
so? who said prices always stay the same anyway? most of the time they go up.
Retail always adds at least 50 percent mark up. Its only on sales times they go down but otherwise RRP mostly increases.
Maybe if every single person got married more than once it would be cheaper lol
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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I think the problem is that the world doesn't regard it as a religious ceremony. They treat it like a fashion show.

As for the price, I think the issue is that we lost a lot of essential skills which is why prices keep going up.

Why book a hall when you can use your church? Why hire a caterer when your church family can pitch in with finger foods. Why buy a dress if you can buy the fabric and make your own or hire someone in the church to make it for you??

But this requires planning, time management, and budgeting. It requires people in the church to pull together and work together. Plus it requires talents with sewing and cooking.

You'll find a DIY wedding is significantly cheaper than paying all kinds of professionals to do the work for you, because your paying their salaries, their deposits and fees, taxes, and over head business costs.

Convenience comes at a cost, if your willing to pay the price.
doesnt seem that way because hipster DIY weddings still cost a few grand according to Lucy Knisley (writer of a graphic memoir about her own wedding) who had THREE engagement parties and the wedding in a barnyard that was especially constructed. Paid for by her mother.

Plus she her mother to take time off her own catering work to do all the cooking.
I think she bought the dress after traipsing around all town in a consignment store. The drama of a DIY wedding eclipsed the reason she was marrying in the first place...her groom didnt get a look in. So she didnt end up saving any money and couldnt afford any house, they just lived in a apartment and had no honeymoon.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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I was like if this is what putting on a wedding is like no thanks.

I'd rather go to the registry, wear a dress already have (or hire one) then announce a backyard party afterward. No photographer, just do selfies in a photo booth. Everyone bring flowers to throw as confetti. Thats it.
Donation to build a dream home fund.

Most of the brides in bridal magazines that nobody ever reads are not actually brides they are models who get paid to wear different gowns...none of the photos are actually of real life brides or couples. I remember going to one fashion week show once and the models were so stick thin they were falling out of their high heels. I thought never again.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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also, in fashion shoots, they bull dog clip all the clothes at the back so it looks like they are form fitting but they arent really lol.

Oh and lots of airbrushing.
 

I_am_Canadian

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Dec 8, 2014
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doesnt seem that way because hipster DIY weddings still cost a few grand according to Lucy Knisley (writer of a graphic memoir about her own wedding) who had THREE engagement parties and the wedding in a barnyard that was especially constructed. Paid for by her mother.

Plus she her mother to take time off her own catering work to do all the cooking.
I think she bought the dress after traipsing around all town in a consignment store. The drama of a DIY wedding eclipsed the reason she was marrying in the first place...her groom didnt get a look in. So she didnt end up saving any money and couldnt afford any house, they just lived in a apartment and had no honeymoon.
A hipster DIY? I was referring to a basic DIY, of course a hipster or fancy DIY is going to drive cost up. Who the heck needs 3 engagement parties??

Specially constructed barnyard?? They built a farm for a wedding??

Some time off might be necessary to get work done, if it's excessive time off, the it's no wonder her DIY cost as much as normal wedding.

Sounds like she didnt have any budget. Just spent frivolously. That's a tragedy, if I was the groom, I'd be pretty angry. I would probably reconsider the wedding no one should marry someone who is horrible with money.