Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Lanolin

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Why can’t the couple have their honeymoon elsewhere? I don’t understand the logic of removing someone from their home. More importantly, it isn’t the pastor’s responsibility to do so.

Most are overworked and don’t need more on their plate. With two adults getting married and extended families. I think there’s enough options between them to host the pair or send them off.

Pastor’s aren’t running a hostel.
uh because they have a budget? some dont want to pay just to stay somewhere a couple of days. Didnt you read my post about weddings on a budget????
 

Princesse

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couples acrually have to get used to having children around them lol

if they honeymoon together they get to know each other and children may come from that honeymoon time.

dont know what my friend will do with her son on honeymoon either he will come with them or have to stay somewhere else but...reality is some couples already have children!
I was referring to the pastor’s children. As for couples with children who marry, I can’t say. They’d make arrangements with relatives or bring them along.
 

Lanolin

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if you are part of a healthy church...thats just what you do. Open your home to others.
 

Princesse

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uh because they have a budget? some dont want to pay just to stay somewhere a couple of days. Didnt you read my post about weddings on a budget????
If you don’t have the funds and no one is paying or offering an alternative. You don’t go. That’s a part of life.
 

Lanolin

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No one is required to have a honeymoon. It isn’t a need or basic necessity. As for the US, if things are so horrid why are so many desiring to come here? It’s evident the gains outweigh the challenges for most.
cos they think they can make a buck? money is more important than family? I dunno. My cousin wen there to make his fortune, he succeeded but lost his family.
 

Princesse

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if you are part of a healthy church...thats just what you do. Open your home to others.
Are you doing the same? Do you house newly married couples and missionaries on furlough in your home?
 

Lanolin

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If you don’t have the funds and no one is paying or offering an alternative. You don’t go. That’s a part of life.
thats why I said churches could do this as ministry. Otherwise you need to wait 20 years to get married or so. Just to save up for it lol

I think you dont understand a lot of things in life about the reality of being poor or hard up princesse.
 

Lanolin

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Are you doing the same? Do you house newly married couples and missionaries on furlough in your home?
yes thats what my quaker fellowship does they have meeting houses in common and its free.
 

Princesse

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cos they think they can make a buck? money is more important than family? I dunno. My cousin wen there to make his fortune, he succeeded but lost his family.
You can’t attribute his familial problems to our culture. Many couples succeed and stay together. Not all marriages are happy regardless of their income. Many stay together because they can’t afford to walk away.
 

Princesse

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thats why I said churches could do this as ministry. Otherwise you need to wait 20 years to get married or so. Just to save up for it lol

I think you dont understand a lot of things in life about the reality of being poor or hard up princesse.
We have marriage licenses. They’re very inexpensive.

I’m not oblivious to poverty or ignorant of how wealth is accumulated. And what may work where you live might be difficult to implement elsewhere.
 

Princesse

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yes thats what my quaker fellowship does they have meeting houses in common and its free.
They meet in your home too? Are you providing hospitality where you lay your head?
 

Lanolin

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yes some people have home groups.
It just depends if people have homes with spare rooms.
of course some do not have their own homes so cant host. I dont have my own home, and my parents arent believers so I dont open it but I do host parties from time to time outside in the garden.

If I did have my own place I would, it would just be pracitsing christian hospitality. Pretty basic stuff.
 

Lanolin

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one lady at another church I remember did wedding in her place was a bnb for honeymooners or pre weddings.
But she charged for it. Her husband wasnt a believer.

it was quite a fancy place...like a french country home. i think she charged like $600 per night but this was very high end type of accomodations. They were in the fancy lifestyle magazines cos it was such a beautiful setting. when she died the place sold for $4 million or something.

You looked out on to the city but you were in the country. She said she always had couples over or brides parties..and she would cater for them.
 

Lanolin

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Anyway, my friend hasnt asked for any help yet with her wedding just set a date so not sure when invites are coming. I just know shes getting married in september.
I would help out if I could doing floral arrangements or something. Not that Im a florist but if she asked.

if she and her fiance wanted to marry in a courthouse and not have many guests I would just be happy for them. They could do it tomorrow. But I think my friend just really wanted a church wedding. it was important for her.
 

Princesse

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yes some people have home groups.
It just depends if people have homes with spare rooms.
of course some do not have their own homes so cant host. I dont have my own home, and my parents arent believers so I dont open it but I do host parties from time to time outside in the garden.

If I did have my own place I would, it would just be pracitsing christian hospitality. Pretty basic stuff.
If that’s your conviction I’m sure you will.
 

Princesse

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Feb 16, 2020
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one lady at another church I remember did wedding in her place was a bnb for honeymooners or pre weddings.
But she charged for it. Her husband wasnt a believer.

it was quite a fancy place...like a french country home. i think she charged like $600 per night but this was very high end type of accomodations. They were in the fancy lifestyle magazines cos it was such a beautiful setting. when she died the place sold for $4 million or something.

You looked out on to the city but you were in the country. She said she always had couples over or brides parties..and she would cater for them.
There are a lot of places like that. Especially in areas where large country homes were the norm. Many are used as bed and breakfast inns or boutique hotels.
 

Princesse

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Feb 16, 2020
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Anyway, my friend hasnt asked for any help yet with her wedding just set a date so not sure when invites are coming. I just know shes getting married in september.
I would help out if I could doing floral arrangements or something. Not that Im a florist but if she asked.

if she and her fiance wanted to marry in a courthouse and not have many guests I would just be happy for them. They could do it tomorrow. But I think my friend just really wanted a church wedding. it was important for her.
Weddings are a big deal here. I’ve seen a few at church. The building is reserved for them. But the majority are held elsewhere. That’s gaining popularity. As are DIY events.

Wedding planning is lucrative if you’re organized.
 

Lanolin

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yea my business teacher as said before had her own wedding planning business.
but she changed to target the lbtqi market, which is now very lucrative.

She also said she wont do religious weddings.

I wasnt really sure what to think about it as its now legal in my country to do so (its not so in other countries) and basically she is selling a dream to anyone who wants to pay for it.

some of the cynics in the class said, if they get divorced and remarry you can have more weddings.

I dont know..her basic aim is she just wants people to be happy and organise it all so it can happen, on the day.

traditonally organising a wedding would fall to the mother of the bride wouldnt it. my friend who is getting married this year doesnt have the best relationship with her mother...apparently she is way too dominating and controlling, but she would probably pay for it, as she gifted her daughter a car (even when shedidnt particularly need a new one) because she thought her daughter wanted one..but more to look good and reflect on her than anything else. It could be like a status thing..who can pull off the best wedding.

people were so fascinated by the Royal weddings when they were televised I know I was as a child. But of course not everyone can have a wedding like that!
 

Lanolin

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Actually I think its the UK taxpayers who foot the bill for royal weddings.
 

Princesse

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Mothers may spearhead it or help the couple. Many hire a planner if they can afford it and let them deal with the headache. I would do the same. It’s too stressful.

The last royal weddings have been funded by a combination of money from the queen and taxpayers.