Pregnancy and Worried

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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I think we can all agree, the right thing to do is get married. Maybe it's part of the job of the church fellowship, parents, friends, and complete strangers on an internet chat forum, to pressure loved ones to do the right thing. But I'm no expert, I'm a one time loser already.
Yes, I agree, that the right thing to do is to get married before the baby is born. It may not work out either way. Both people have to be committed to each other, and make many sacrifices for the baby as well. Her parents are expressing their values to the daughter, though the ultimatums certainly do not help in this situation. They will all need to be involved in the upbringing of this child being brought into the world.
 
Dec 28, 2016
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I just try to look at Christ's example. He accomplished EVERYTHING calmly, with loving words of wisdom and peace in His heart.
Are you willing to allow Scripture to adjust your thinking? The above isn't exactly reflective of biblical revelation of Christ, it just is not accurate. Luke 11:37-54. John 8:39-47 among other NT passages paint, not a different story, they paint the rest of the story and give us the big picture.

Then as he is YHWH in the OT Scriptures, and is immutable, we see this same God execute his justice and wrath on others by his own Sovereign decree and counsel. He is immutable and we must consider this when we study his attributes.

If we think Jesus as this always calm person in the NT, then just keep turning in your Bible to the right, keep on turning more to the right, get to the book of Revelation, and witness these same attributes of God.

Nothing against anyone, but we really need to be reading our Scriptures. If our concept of Christ is so truncated, how will we know the truth that sanctifies, John 17:17, and sets free, John 8:31-32 with an incomplete, and therefore not exactly biblical picture?

Jesus wasn't just spinning his wheels and giving fodder to the biblical narrative when he expressed his anger plainly in the NT and OT. These are there as truths for us to believe, embrace, to speak and to study.
 
Dec 28, 2016
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Hello,
I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
Here is some help for you. It is up to you whether or not you will receive it.

First, you say you are a believer. Repentance is a lifestyle for a believer, and your relationship to Christ is first above all. Note 1 John 1:8-10. Therefore you know what you need to do here first.

Secondly, do you have a pastor and church? In a Bible believing and preaching church? If so, or if not, seek your/a Biblical pastor, get counsel, do the above, and get on the right track following God.

You believe God will take care of the rest, right? I believe it, and hope you will heed this counsel.

God bless you, may he relieve your stress by your following him in repentance and faith, James 4:8 and bless you and your little one on the way.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
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I wonder how many people wouldn't have divorced later on after being forced to marry after bearing more children.
My grandparents had a shotgun marriage, married for life.
I married a virgin, Christian bride, 10 years later, divorced.
I don't know if traditional thinking on marriage success holds water.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
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I'm getting alot more out of it, but that's one thing I always wonder about.. Everybody wants to hump like rabbits, but nobody is bright enough to wear protection..


You're not seeing most of the red flags then, if that's what you're getting out of this story.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
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I'm getting alot more out of it, but that's one thing I always wonder about.. Everybody wants to hump like rabbits, but nobody is bright enough to wear protection..
Some of us can double up, and pull out, still get her pregnant. I don't swim in public pools because of this.
 
S

Seedz

Guest
What does it make a difference to wait to get married?

If he truly loves you and the baby, then he has no excuse for putting off the marriage.

Now, if he is hoping to get off the hook, then that is a different story.

I would simply ask him what the real reason to wait is....

You can save money while being married.

Later when everything is settled you can do a wedding reception/ party if you want.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
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I'm getting alot more out of it, but that's one thing I always wonder about.. Everybody wants to hump like rabbits, but nobody is bright enough to wear protection..
There are no accidents with God. Every conception is by the will of God. Some to bless and some to judge. God decides which is which and how they are received.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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This baby was NOT conceived with God in the picture.. It was conceived because they couldn't control their urges and keep their clothes on.. And I strongly disagree that EVERY conception "is by the will of God".


There are no accidents with God. Every conception is by the will of God. Some to bless and some to judge. God decides which is which and how they are received.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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Jesus made a lot of people mad, enough so that a many of them wanted Jesus crucified. maybe he didn't present with the demeanor that we would think with our modern understanding of how good and nice people should be.
He made many sinners angry and many were appalled that a simple Carpenters son would call Himself the Messiah.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
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This baby was NOT conceived with God in the picture.. It was conceived because they couldn't control their urges and keep their clothes on.. And I strongly disagree that EVERY conception "is by the will of God".
Only God creates life. Some conceptions are received as judgment from God others as great blessing. Scientists have calculated the probability of conception at something like 1 in 288,000. Only God by His miraculous power causes conception to occur.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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Only God creates life. Some conceptions are received as judgment from God others as great blessing. Scientists have calculated the probability of conception at something like 1 in 288,000. Only God by His miraculous power causes conception to occur.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
I can agree from personal truth that a child can be a real lesson from sinning...but every child is His and a blessing no matter what...even if the lesson cripples the mom and the dad disappears.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
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Only God creates life. Some conceptions are received as judgment from God others as great blessing. Scientists have calculated the probability of conception at something like 1 in 288,000. Only God by His miraculous power causes conception to occur.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
I have to call bullcrap on that one.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
Only God creates life. Some conceptions are received as judgment from God others as great blessing. Scientists have calculated the probability of conception at something like 1 in 288,000. Only God by His miraculous power causes conception to occur.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
I have to call bullcrap on that one.
A medical site I googled stated the odds of a woman getting pregnant during her ovulation cycle is 20 - 25%. I'm no math whiz but I believe that equates to about 1 in 4.
 

HannahA

Senior Member
Sep 16, 2017
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Welcome to CC. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I pray the Lord will protect you and your baby.

You have asked for advice. People who are outside the emotions of the situation, who are your brothers and sisters in the Lord, only have your best interests at heart. I GUARANTEE your parents have your best interests at heart.

There is NO legitimate reason to wait til August to marry. I understand he may be afraid, but things will NOT get easier after the baby is born.

I know you don't think so, but you are VERY young. Listen to your Dad. HE for sure loves you. So your fiance can do the right thing and be a man, or you should rely on the support of your family and cut him loose, except for financial obligations he has for the next 18 yrs.

It's hard. Pray on it and LISTEN to the Lord's answer.
agreed
keep praying God will show the best way
btw welcome to CC :)
 
Sep 13, 2015
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Do either of you have any money saved up? You could get married at the court house for a certain fee..
I agree with this. If you get it done at a court house it'll be much easier for the time being, then you guys can spring for an actual wedding later when it's more affordable :) When my husband and I got married, all we did was pay for the marriage certificate and had a tiny ceremony (only seven people). We only spent $100 total. We didn't have a reception and I didn't even wear a wedding dress. We've been married for eight years now and I don't regret that we did it that way. :eek:
Blessings to you both and your baby <3
 
D

Depleted

Guest
Since I suspect this is another one-poster, let me show what red flags I saw:

1. "I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born...."

She's "saved," and yet it's all about her struggling to do "what is right" and her BF doing the same thing. What does that even mean? It could mean anything from voting correctly, to trying not to get high or rob stores anymore, or becoming "spiritual." No mention of God at all other than being saved. And considering "saved" can mean a trip up to the altar when feeling emotional once, it's not a lot to go on.

Was she a believer? Was the BF a believer? Out of all she posted, that one was never answered, and God was never part of her thinking.

2. "He [BF, now fiance] just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially.... " plus "The issue is we had nothing . I was finally able to just find us a place to live that we could afford. We just make enough for us and the baby and figured even if we save a little each month we can get married we just cant right now."

So BF is all concerned about finances and baby, and yet look who put in the effort, (and "finally" means it was quite a bit of effort) to find the place for them. And Daddy isn't giving her a baby shower unless they get married before the baby comes.

Have you ever planned for a baby? You need a whole lot of stuff for a baby. The best way to get a lot of the stuff is a baby shower, but BF wasn't going to do that. It's a whooooole lot of stuff. Think just diapers and feeding supplies. Then add on clothes, (and babies need to get changed a lot, get cold easily, get hot, etc.), bathing essentials, crib, playpen, either lots of formula or breast pump, but something is going into lots of bottles. It really is an overwhelming lot of stuff. But, nope. Not gonna.

3. Father wants a church wedding or nothing, and yet father is threatening to have no baby shower if daughter does not comply. So, obviously he has it in his mind how much he will be forking over for the baby shower. He's the father of the bribe, demanding a church wedding, but not paying for that too? Something is fishy there. And yet, she's the one saying they can't afford a wedding. Justice of the peace cost between $25-$75 in the US. Church wedding cost more.

I remember when my stepdaughter became pregnant. She wasn't ready either, but man! One thing we grasped together, in a hurry, was how much she would need just to go through the first year of the baby's life.

These two seem to have no clue, and yet, 24 weeks pregnant. The baby is almost a foot tall by now and over a pound in weight. This isn't some little change in looks. This is when the kicking is felt.

And you're pushing this on to the guy? IF any of this is true, it's not just the guy. It's the dad and the OP. And such a panic over this, her much-needed answer was given within a couple of hours, so she's okay now?

LOTS of red flags.

One of two things is happening here:
1. Get out the deck of cards, because we've just been played.
2. This kid needs to grow up in the space of 5 months.

And what did we forget? God! Was there another answer besides him?

Matt. 10:16
[FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]wise as serpents and [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]innocent as doves."[/FONT]

That "wise as serpent" means something important too.

True, we can't go off with trolltrolltroll every time something looks fishy, because some truly bizarre things really do happen. But, come on! At least entertain the idea. Be kind and helpful, but also be aware that at least half the new people who come on this forum aren't telling the truth, aren't telling the whole truth, or are seeing how far they can yank our chains. We're going to get out chains yanked often, but "wise as serpents." At least keep an eye out for the full truth.

Gullible isn't a good trait. Cruel isn't either. But sometimes we're going to have to step back to find out what's really going on to judge what to say.

There is an axiom to story writing I've learned -- "Never choose the first thing that comes to your mind." In story telling, we don't do that because the story will be predictable. As believers it works better, because I'm sure my first thing that pops into my head is never what God is thinking.

We will be used. We will be played. Nothing compared to what Jesus did for us. But, please! Please, please, please take a minute or two, at the very least, to get over your first reaction and pray for guidance from the Lord before putting fingers to keyboard. And if you get nothing from him in that time? Considering I've never seen anyone post anything on here that needed an answer in two minutes or someone was going to die, what's wrong with praying a little longer?

You know what that would do in how we answer if we all did that? Me either! Never seen that either.


But I bet God can sync us all into a good answer, if we do that.
 

santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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You're living together, right? So why is it a problem to "make it legal" and get married?

I don't understand. You're planning on getting married anyway. You're already living together as a married couple. Just put a ring on it already.

Oy.