Yes, I agree, that the right thing to do is to get married before the baby is born. It may not work out either way. Both people have to be committed to each other, and make many sacrifices for the baby as well. Her parents are expressing their values to the daughter, though the ultimatums certainly do not help in this situation. They will all need to be involved in the upbringing of this child being brought into the world.
Pregnancy and Worried
- Thread starter theupsetone
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Are you willing to allow Scripture to adjust your thinking? The above isn't exactly reflective of biblical revelation of Christ, it just is not accurate. Luke 11:37-54. John 8:39-47 among other NT passages paint, not a different story, they paint the rest of the story and give us the big picture.
Then as he is YHWH in the OT Scriptures, and is immutable, we see this same God execute his justice and wrath on others by his own Sovereign decree and counsel. He is immutable and we must consider this when we study his attributes.
If we think Jesus as this always calm person in the NT, then just keep turning in your Bible to the right, keep on turning more to the right, get to the book of Revelation, and witness these same attributes of God.
Nothing against anyone, but we really need to be reading our Scriptures. If our concept of Christ is so truncated, how will we know the truth that sanctifies, John 17:17, and sets free, John 8:31-32 with an incomplete, and therefore not exactly biblical picture?
Jesus wasn't just spinning his wheels and giving fodder to the biblical narrative when he expressed his anger plainly in the NT and OT. These are there as truths for us to believe, embrace, to speak and to study.
Then as he is YHWH in the OT Scriptures, and is immutable, we see this same God execute his justice and wrath on others by his own Sovereign decree and counsel. He is immutable and we must consider this when we study his attributes.
If we think Jesus as this always calm person in the NT, then just keep turning in your Bible to the right, keep on turning more to the right, get to the book of Revelation, and witness these same attributes of God.
Nothing against anyone, but we really need to be reading our Scriptures. If our concept of Christ is so truncated, how will we know the truth that sanctifies, John 17:17, and sets free, John 8:31-32 with an incomplete, and therefore not exactly biblical picture?
Jesus wasn't just spinning his wheels and giving fodder to the biblical narrative when he expressed his anger plainly in the NT and OT. These are there as truths for us to believe, embrace, to speak and to study.
Here is some help for you. It is up to you whether or not you will receive it.
First, you say you are a believer. Repentance is a lifestyle for a believer, and your relationship to Christ is first above all. Note 1 John 1:8-10. Therefore you know what you need to do here first.
Secondly, do you have a pastor and church? In a Bible believing and preaching church? If so, or if not, seek your/a Biblical pastor, get counsel, do the above, and get on the right track following God.
You believe God will take care of the rest, right? I believe it, and hope you will heed this counsel.
God bless you, may he relieve your stress by your following him in repentance and faith, James 4:8 and bless you and your little one on the way.
First, you say you are a believer. Repentance is a lifestyle for a believer, and your relationship to Christ is first above all. Note 1 John 1:8-10. Therefore you know what you need to do here first.
Secondly, do you have a pastor and church? In a Bible believing and preaching church? If so, or if not, seek your/a Biblical pastor, get counsel, do the above, and get on the right track following God.
You believe God will take care of the rest, right? I believe it, and hope you will heed this counsel.
God bless you, may he relieve your stress by your following him in repentance and faith, James 4:8 and bless you and your little one on the way.
S
What does it make a difference to wait to get married?
If he truly loves you and the baby, then he has no excuse for putting off the marriage.
Now, if he is hoping to get off the hook, then that is a different story.
I would simply ask him what the real reason to wait is....
You can save money while being married.
Later when everything is settled you can do a wedding reception/ party if you want.
If he truly loves you and the baby, then he has no excuse for putting off the marriage.
Now, if he is hoping to get off the hook, then that is a different story.
I would simply ask him what the real reason to wait is....
You can save money while being married.
Later when everything is settled you can do a wedding reception/ party if you want.
I agree with this. If you get it done at a court house it'll be much easier for the time being, then you guys can spring for an actual wedding later when it's more affordable 
When my husband and I got married, all we did was pay for the marriage certificate and had a tiny ceremony (only seven people). We only spent $100 total. We didn't have a reception and I didn't even wear a wedding dress. We've been married for eight years now and I don't regret that we did it that way.
Blessings to you both and your baby <3
When my husband and I got married, all we did was pay for the marriage certificate and had a tiny ceremony (only seven people). We only spent $100 total. We didn't have a reception and I didn't even wear a wedding dress. We've been married for eight years now and I don't regret that we did it that way. Blessings to you both and your baby <3
D
Since I suspect this is another one-poster, let me show what red flags I saw:
1. "I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born...."
She's "saved," and yet it's all about her struggling to do "what is right" and her BF doing the same thing. What does that even mean? It could mean anything from voting correctly, to trying not to get high or rob stores anymore, or becoming "spiritual." No mention of God at all other than being saved. And considering "saved" can mean a trip up to the altar when feeling emotional once, it's not a lot to go on.
Was she a believer? Was the BF a believer? Out of all she posted, that one was never answered, and God was never part of her thinking.
2. "He [BF, now fiance] just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially.... " plus "The issue is we had nothing . I was finally able to just find us a place to live that we could afford. We just make enough for us and the baby and figured even if we save a little each month we can get married we just cant right now."
So BF is all concerned about finances and baby, and yet look who put in the effort, (and "finally" means it was quite a bit of effort) to find the place for them. And Daddy isn't giving her a baby shower unless they get married before the baby comes.
Have you ever planned for a baby? You need a whole lot of stuff for a baby. The best way to get a lot of the stuff is a baby shower, but BF wasn't going to do that. It's a whooooole lot of stuff. Think just diapers and feeding supplies. Then add on clothes, (and babies need to get changed a lot, get cold easily, get hot, etc.), bathing essentials, crib, playpen, either lots of formula or breast pump, but something is going into lots of bottles. It really is an overwhelming lot of stuff. But, nope. Not gonna.
3. Father wants a church wedding or nothing, and yet father is threatening to have no baby shower if daughter does not comply. So, obviously he has it in his mind how much he will be forking over for the baby shower. He's the father of the bribe, demanding a church wedding, but not paying for that too? Something is fishy there. And yet, she's the one saying they can't afford a wedding. Justice of the peace cost between $25-$75 in the US. Church wedding cost more.
I remember when my stepdaughter became pregnant. She wasn't ready either, but man! One thing we grasped together, in a hurry, was how much she would need just to go through the first year of the baby's life.
These two seem to have no clue, and yet, 24 weeks pregnant. The baby is almost a foot tall by now and over a pound in weight. This isn't some little change in looks. This is when the kicking is felt.
And you're pushing this on to the guy? IF any of this is true, it's not just the guy. It's the dad and the OP. And such a panic over this, her much-needed answer was given within a couple of hours, so she's okay now?
LOTS of red flags.
One of two things is happening here:
1. Get out the deck of cards, because we've just been played.
2. This kid needs to grow up in the space of 5 months.
And what did we forget? God! Was there another answer besides him?
Matt. 10:16 [FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]wise as serpents and [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]innocent as doves."[/FONT]
That "wise as serpent" means something important too.
True, we can't go off with trolltrolltroll every time something looks fishy, because some truly bizarre things really do happen. But, come on! At least entertain the idea. Be kind and helpful, but also be aware that at least half the new people who come on this forum aren't telling the truth, aren't telling the whole truth, or are seeing how far they can yank our chains. We're going to get out chains yanked often, but "wise as serpents." At least keep an eye out for the full truth.
Gullible isn't a good trait. Cruel isn't either. But sometimes we're going to have to step back to find out what's really going on to judge what to say.
There is an axiom to story writing I've learned -- "Never choose the first thing that comes to your mind." In story telling, we don't do that because the story will be predictable. As believers it works better, because I'm sure my first thing that pops into my head is never what God is thinking.
We will be used. We will be played. Nothing compared to what Jesus did for us. But, please! Please, please, please take a minute or two, at the very least, to get over your first reaction and pray for guidance from the Lord before putting fingers to keyboard. And if you get nothing from him in that time? Considering I've never seen anyone post anything on here that needed an answer in two minutes or someone was going to die, what's wrong with praying a little longer?
You know what that would do in how we answer if we all did that? Me either! Never seen that either.
But I bet God can sync us all into a good answer, if we do that.
1. "I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born...."
She's "saved," and yet it's all about her struggling to do "what is right" and her BF doing the same thing. What does that even mean? It could mean anything from voting correctly, to trying not to get high or rob stores anymore, or becoming "spiritual." No mention of God at all other than being saved. And considering "saved" can mean a trip up to the altar when feeling emotional once, it's not a lot to go on.
Was she a believer? Was the BF a believer? Out of all she posted, that one was never answered, and God was never part of her thinking.
2. "He [BF, now fiance] just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially.... " plus "The issue is we had nothing . I was finally able to just find us a place to live that we could afford. We just make enough for us and the baby and figured even if we save a little each month we can get married we just cant right now."
So BF is all concerned about finances and baby, and yet look who put in the effort, (and "finally" means it was quite a bit of effort) to find the place for them. And Daddy isn't giving her a baby shower unless they get married before the baby comes.
Have you ever planned for a baby? You need a whole lot of stuff for a baby. The best way to get a lot of the stuff is a baby shower, but BF wasn't going to do that. It's a whooooole lot of stuff. Think just diapers and feeding supplies. Then add on clothes, (and babies need to get changed a lot, get cold easily, get hot, etc.), bathing essentials, crib, playpen, either lots of formula or breast pump, but something is going into lots of bottles. It really is an overwhelming lot of stuff. But, nope. Not gonna.
3. Father wants a church wedding or nothing, and yet father is threatening to have no baby shower if daughter does not comply. So, obviously he has it in his mind how much he will be forking over for the baby shower. He's the father of the bribe, demanding a church wedding, but not paying for that too? Something is fishy there. And yet, she's the one saying they can't afford a wedding. Justice of the peace cost between $25-$75 in the US. Church wedding cost more.
I remember when my stepdaughter became pregnant. She wasn't ready either, but man! One thing we grasped together, in a hurry, was how much she would need just to go through the first year of the baby's life.
These two seem to have no clue, and yet, 24 weeks pregnant. The baby is almost a foot tall by now and over a pound in weight. This isn't some little change in looks. This is when the kicking is felt.
And you're pushing this on to the guy? IF any of this is true, it's not just the guy. It's the dad and the OP. And such a panic over this, her much-needed answer was given within a couple of hours, so she's okay now?
LOTS of red flags.
One of two things is happening here:
1. Get out the deck of cards, because we've just been played.
2. This kid needs to grow up in the space of 5 months.
And what did we forget? God! Was there another answer besides him?
Matt. 10:16 [FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]wise as serpents and [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]innocent as doves."[/FONT]
That "wise as serpent" means something important too.
True, we can't go off with trolltrolltroll every time something looks fishy, because some truly bizarre things really do happen. But, come on! At least entertain the idea. Be kind and helpful, but also be aware that at least half the new people who come on this forum aren't telling the truth, aren't telling the whole truth, or are seeing how far they can yank our chains. We're going to get out chains yanked often, but "wise as serpents." At least keep an eye out for the full truth.
Gullible isn't a good trait. Cruel isn't either. But sometimes we're going to have to step back to find out what's really going on to judge what to say.
There is an axiom to story writing I've learned -- "Never choose the first thing that comes to your mind." In story telling, we don't do that because the story will be predictable. As believers it works better, because I'm sure my first thing that pops into my head is never what God is thinking.
We will be used. We will be played. Nothing compared to what Jesus did for us. But, please! Please, please, please take a minute or two, at the very least, to get over your first reaction and pray for guidance from the Lord before putting fingers to keyboard. And if you get nothing from him in that time? Considering I've never seen anyone post anything on here that needed an answer in two minutes or someone was going to die, what's wrong with praying a little longer?
You know what that would do in how we answer if we all did that? Me either! Never seen that either.
But I bet God can sync us all into a good answer, if we do that.
