i fèel the words u describe urself with now. we dont have dvorce here now, but sure separations. husband encouragd that we bring out diffs.early on, but i realize i wasnt tht transparent as i thot. i suppresd angr, tears when they came wc wasnt healthy. ur wife may be not so mature as some1 here said, n living in fantasy. no, those werent th books i read but there ws a time hubby reminded nt to be bookish or carried awsy even wd realife bios. in time i thot love was 'covering all wrongs' but now i see even we diff.how to pèel n slice a pineapple wc is impt to him. hope i could type yet some more but maybe just will get back. hope u two will be able to figure out and work it out while early tho. God bless.
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I would say, do not rush with any decision. If she actually cheated on you, think well if you really want this woman by your side for the rest of your life, if you want her to be the mother of your children. I don't think it would be very easy for her to change. She sounds awfully immature. God bless!
A
Considering you're against marriages in general, I'd say that has to void your opinion instant. Logic dictates you shouldn't even respond to marriage questions. That would be kin to me responding to questions about some popular dude when someone asks if he or she should agree with popular dude. I've got nothing to contribute because I don't keep up with what's popular.
A
You've made a false assertion about what I'm for and what I'm against. If you had exercised wisdom, you would rather have simply asked: I am for biblical marriage, of course.
That; however, does not equate to me advocating for men placing themselves under punishing bodies of law that destroy about half of their lives presently.
Please stop fabricating falsehood about me and my very biblical beliefs. Thank you.
That; however, does not equate to me advocating for men placing themselves under punishing bodies of law that destroy about half of their lives presently.
Please stop fabricating falsehood about me and my very biblical beliefs. Thank you.
I agree! You gave him very good advice. It seems by what has been shared,the wife has stepped into the world through a fantasy book. The book is s& m masked! Its all about abuse in the name of love! She needs to get back into the word of God. The husband can lead her if he is willing. Satan is coming in and he aims to destroy what God has ordained. I pray the Lords will over your marriage Prayful! I ask the Father to heal your hurting heart and heal your wifes heart as well. Amen!
Matthew 19:6"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
A
Correction. You're for illegal marriages in the US, but against "under punishing bodies of law that destroy about half of their lives presently." Gotcha.
(You do know you have to make a marriage legal in the US by getting a marriage license, right? And the only way to get a marriage license is to give blood and sign legal papers, right?)
(You do know you have to make a marriage legal in the US by getting a marriage license, right? And the only way to get a marriage license is to give blood and sign legal papers, right?)
A
If you continue to fabricate lies about me and what I believe, I will begin reporting you to the moderators for it.
As I have said many times, I am NOT for illegal marriages in the U.S.. I am a celibate, single, unmarried Christian who does NOT have sex with other people nor advocate fornication, adultery, or sexual immorality in any form.
There is nothing in scripture that mandates anyone, male or female, to place themselves under a government body of matrimonial law if they wish to remain single. People can biblically choose to remain single and it is wholly moral if they are not engaging in sexual immorality. Understand?
Most Western males now are choosing not to marry and the percentage of those rejecting marriage is rapidly increasing. In fact, Pew Research reported that seventy percent of all males aged 18-34 are presently unmarried in the U.S. and half stated that they intend to never marry. Both percentages (e.g. unmarried and intent to never marry) amongst young males continue to rapidly rise. Soon, it will be eighty percent and then ninety percent.
The mainstream liberal media has done a poor job of reporting this and only viewed this unprecedented transition of young males away from marriage in modern Western civilization through the lens of feminism. The primary reason for this, of course, is not even on their list but rather that the body of matrimonial law in Western nations like the U.S. has become so increasingly harsh toward males over the past four decades in a culture that no longer honors and respects married males as it once did that males are rejecting it.
Increasingly most males no longer want to forfeit their liberty for a body of matrimonial law that deprives them of their liberty, renders them effectively an indentured servant to someone who's left them and is having sex with others, denudes them financially, deprives them of their progeny, allows the government to micromanage their lives and finances, puts them in jail and assign them a life-long criminal record negatively affecting their ability to earn for the rest of their life if they get sick or unemployed and cannot make court-ordered payments to someone long gone, etc...
They don't want any of that. Matrimonial law now posits very few benefits yet enormous liabilities for males during the marriage period and this increases exponentially upon separation. So, males are now largely opting out of placing themselves under it.
Pointing out this fact, in no way, equates to me being "for illegal marriages in the US." Stop creating lies about me because you don't like the truth of what I'm saying.
As I have said many times, I am NOT for illegal marriages in the U.S.. I am a celibate, single, unmarried Christian who does NOT have sex with other people nor advocate fornication, adultery, or sexual immorality in any form.
There is nothing in scripture that mandates anyone, male or female, to place themselves under a government body of matrimonial law if they wish to remain single. People can biblically choose to remain single and it is wholly moral if they are not engaging in sexual immorality. Understand?
Most Western males now are choosing not to marry and the percentage of those rejecting marriage is rapidly increasing. In fact, Pew Research reported that seventy percent of all males aged 18-34 are presently unmarried in the U.S. and half stated that they intend to never marry. Both percentages (e.g. unmarried and intent to never marry) amongst young males continue to rapidly rise. Soon, it will be eighty percent and then ninety percent.
The mainstream liberal media has done a poor job of reporting this and only viewed this unprecedented transition of young males away from marriage in modern Western civilization through the lens of feminism. The primary reason for this, of course, is not even on their list but rather that the body of matrimonial law in Western nations like the U.S. has become so increasingly harsh toward males over the past four decades in a culture that no longer honors and respects married males as it once did that males are rejecting it.
Increasingly most males no longer want to forfeit their liberty for a body of matrimonial law that deprives them of their liberty, renders them effectively an indentured servant to someone who's left them and is having sex with others, denudes them financially, deprives them of their progeny, allows the government to micromanage their lives and finances, puts them in jail and assign them a life-long criminal record negatively affecting their ability to earn for the rest of their life if they get sick or unemployed and cannot make court-ordered payments to someone long gone, etc...
They don't want any of that. Matrimonial law now posits very few benefits yet enormous liabilities for males during the marriage period and this increases exponentially upon separation. So, males are now largely opting out of placing themselves under it.
Pointing out this fact, in no way, equates to me being "for illegal marriages in the US." Stop creating lies about me because you don't like the truth of what I'm saying.
A
I advocate for reforming matrimonial law in Western Civilization toward a body of law that once again benefits males.
Alternatively, if that is not possible in this present increasingly godless and immoral generation, a religious exemption that allows a second body of matrimonial law to exist side-by-side which couples can choose that once again benefits males.
If you don't like this, tough. Men do and are increasingly on strike from marriage altogether until such time as reform or allowance for their interests and needs is finally made.
Alternatively, if that is not possible in this present increasingly godless and immoral generation, a religious exemption that allows a second body of matrimonial law to exist side-by-side which couples can choose that once again benefits males.
If you don't like this, tough. Men do and are increasingly on strike from marriage altogether until such time as reform or allowance for their interests and needs is finally made.
W
Prayerful,
Divorce as an innocent man is a hard row to hoe. Sometimes we as women become dissatisfied and automatically think that people are supposed to fill the void. Whatever her reason for being dissatisfied- be it your not seeing everything that she thinks is so clear, or be it her being misled by self-pleasers- your wife will be ultimately disappointed if she's looking for you (finite as you are) to keep her happy. Also hard to deal with is the fact that, as the leader of the home, you are responsible for her spiritual health as well as yours. You are not responsible for her poor decisions or her unreasonable demands... but with a spirit of humility and faith in the Lord at least you will be at peace.
How long did you know her and get to know her before marriage? Were you intimate before your wife or with her before your marriage?
Divorce as an innocent man is a hard row to hoe. Sometimes we as women become dissatisfied and automatically think that people are supposed to fill the void. Whatever her reason for being dissatisfied- be it your not seeing everything that she thinks is so clear, or be it her being misled by self-pleasers- your wife will be ultimately disappointed if she's looking for you (finite as you are) to keep her happy. Also hard to deal with is the fact that, as the leader of the home, you are responsible for her spiritual health as well as yours. You are not responsible for her poor decisions or her unreasonable demands... but with a spirit of humility and faith in the Lord at least you will be at peace.
How long did you know her and get to know her before marriage? Were you intimate before your wife or with her before your marriage?
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P
So, now we are talking and she admits to me that she told me she said she did not cheat on me and that she said it just to get a "rise" out of me, to hurt me. My Pastor is out for the week, so it's been scheduled for next week to have an appointment of just him and me. For the past couple of days, I have been reading/listening to Tony Evans kingdom family, and it has shown me a perspective that I was missing from my live and my family and I started to implement it into my life because I fell out of love for a bit with my wife on that day we got into a fight and I was looking forward to divorce, but I see where the breakdown has happened. Also, I was telling her how I fell out of love with her after that major blowup and gave it to God and now I've found my love for this marriage through God and to fight for it and that I want to see her fight for our marriage as well to show me that she really loves God.
I spoke to her about being the man of the house and that we can't have two "alphas" running the house. Her argument was that she felt like I wasn't the godly man that I should have been or else this situation would not happen (thus she will not submit to me at all). I agree (to a point), and I will work harder to be the type of man that this house needs, which means making God #1 priority even more. She also said that I hurt her deeply and it will take time to fall back "in-love" with me.
However, whenever I tell her what I did not like from my perspective on how she was treating me, she gets defensive and do not accept responsibility for her actions at all and thinks that I am scalding her. I also told her that if that what she thinks I am doing, I am not. Just like she wants to see changes in me, I want to see changes in her as well. She is still very aggressive and defensive and will have short discussions with me only about her romance "Books". I can hear her in the other room screaming "OMG, what a man", and sometimes run in my room to tell me how the guy beat up this other guy for the female character and how amazing it was.
I got to a point where when she did this again and again, I started to tell her "So what did God say about the situation" or "Hey honey, did you read the book I gave you about marriage (Tony Evans "The Kingdom family") so she can fill her head with God and not this romance novel stuff, she comes up with an excuse or just walks away disappointed. I can't talk to her about the relationship because she always says "I just want one day of not talking about negative stuff". So now talking about God in our marriage is negative stuff and it gets her angry, so now I am at the point where I don't want to even talk to her at all because she is just going to either going to blow up on me or tell me "that's why I am not in-love with you". I am currently sleeping in another room by choice because it's hard to sleep next to her with her currently personality and I refuse to walk on eggshells with her just to satisfy her "needs" when I am putting god first in my life before her (she believes that her personal happiness comes before God in this Marriage, which is why I think we are failing to communicate)
At this point I feel abused due to a selfish/prideful women and I am wondering if this marriage foundation is just too broken to even try to repair. I await the pastor next week but I have a feeling he just going to tell me that were "unevenly Yoked" and a divorce might be possibly the right answer. (worst case scenario)
I spoke to her about being the man of the house and that we can't have two "alphas" running the house. Her argument was that she felt like I wasn't the godly man that I should have been or else this situation would not happen (thus she will not submit to me at all). I agree (to a point), and I will work harder to be the type of man that this house needs, which means making God #1 priority even more. She also said that I hurt her deeply and it will take time to fall back "in-love" with me.
However, whenever I tell her what I did not like from my perspective on how she was treating me, she gets defensive and do not accept responsibility for her actions at all and thinks that I am scalding her. I also told her that if that what she thinks I am doing, I am not. Just like she wants to see changes in me, I want to see changes in her as well. She is still very aggressive and defensive and will have short discussions with me only about her romance "Books". I can hear her in the other room screaming "OMG, what a man", and sometimes run in my room to tell me how the guy beat up this other guy for the female character and how amazing it was.
I got to a point where when she did this again and again, I started to tell her "So what did God say about the situation" or "Hey honey, did you read the book I gave you about marriage (Tony Evans "The Kingdom family") so she can fill her head with God and not this romance novel stuff, she comes up with an excuse or just walks away disappointed. I can't talk to her about the relationship because she always says "I just want one day of not talking about negative stuff". So now talking about God in our marriage is negative stuff and it gets her angry, so now I am at the point where I don't want to even talk to her at all because she is just going to either going to blow up on me or tell me "that's why I am not in-love with you". I am currently sleeping in another room by choice because it's hard to sleep next to her with her currently personality and I refuse to walk on eggshells with her just to satisfy her "needs" when I am putting god first in my life before her (she believes that her personal happiness comes before God in this Marriage, which is why I think we are failing to communicate)
At this point I feel abused due to a selfish/prideful women and I am wondering if this marriage foundation is just too broken to even try to repair. I await the pastor next week but I have a feeling he just going to tell me that were "unevenly Yoked" and a divorce might be possibly the right answer. (worst case scenario)
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R
And that would be bad advice. Takes her ques dude. She wants you to 'fight'for her. This isnt about keeping score. Wow i wish i could talk to yall in person. Look it's not going to be over night. Takes time. Second by second. Dont say things that are hurtful that the enemy can use to pull you apart.
Due the fireproof challenge, kirk camron. That will help too. Im praying for you. Also, read the book. Satan you cant have my marriage. I believe in you.
Readung back through your post....look at all the I's and me's and you refuse?? Wow what pride
Due the fireproof challenge, kirk camron. That will help too. Im praying for you. Also, read the book. Satan you cant have my marriage. I believe in you.
Readung back through your post....look at all the I's and me's and you refuse?? Wow what pride
P
The truth is, that due to our incident, it's hard to sleep when I feel negativity in my heart, especially from conflict with someone I love and I can't sleep at all because of it (even with prayer). So, instead of hearing her say "Sigh" when she reads the book and looks at me with disappointing eyes and/or being belittled on random things while in bed, I went to the other bedroom to be at peace (I have a job where if I don't get enough sleep, I could most likely be in an accident due to no sleep). She thinks it's a good idea as well so that we can figure out ourselves and come back together later (I guess that makes sense).
Also, you think I was being prideful as well?
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