Are You (and Do You Prefer) Someone Who is Out in The Open, or Deep and Mysterious?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,285
9,333
113
#21
I would prefer someone who is a deaf mute, born without a tongue.

Any form of anger or conflict from her would have to be communicated through hand gesticulations.
:eek:
Uh... considering the number of objects handy in any given setting that might easily be picked up and wielded against you, you might oughta rethink that about hand gesticulations. I'm picturing a rather upset woman gesticulating at you with a frying pan.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#22
I don't mind being open with most people. There is very little about me which I am ashamed of.

There are some topics though that I just won't talk about. I think that with all I've been through in my life that I am entitled to have a few secrets.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#23
I'm very mysterious myself, at least for the first 20 minutes.

I don't really like mysterious people, or mayhaps I do like them, I made myself a litte confused now.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#24
* Do you consider yourself to be pretty open, or do you like to stay more reserved and "mysterious"? Why or why not?

I'm very reserved with people I don't know. Definitely wouldn't call myself mysterious by any stretch of the imagination, though! If you ask me about something, I will either tell you outright that I don't think you know me well enough to be asking that, or I will give you the answer. But I don't volunteer much info at the beginning of a friendship, so...reserved, yes. Mysterious, hardly. Any reserve is because I am shy and have been hurt before by people knowing too much.

* When looking for a significant other, do you prefer THEM to be very open, or more held back, and why?

Mystery is bothersome to me. That doesn't mean they have to spill everything out. RESERVE is fine, but when you begin being reserved for the sake of mystery, that's a bit strange and I don't find that extremely attractive, more like you're trying to hide something :p. I find it easier to communicate with an open person, since openness will make me open up. But I understand reserve better. Either one.

* Where are the boundaries? When is someone too open, and when are they being so "mysterious" that they come across as detached or distant?

There are things in life that God never made to be talked about between a man and a woman outside of marriage. Just sayin'. You'd better have a ring and a promise before you start talking about sex...unless it is something in the past that could affect your relationship. But keeping back information when asked, or knowing that it might affect your relationship and not telling is too mysterious. Also, only talking about yourself will make a person seem detached.

* What if both people are the "mysterious" types... Would that hinder communication? And what if one is a sharer and the other holds back--would they still be able to work out a good line of communication?

YEP. If they're both mysterious, things won't get communicated. And usually when one is open and the other reserved, the open one gets really frustrated. At least that is my observations. However, sometimes reserved people make more time for communication, because they know it is their weak point. So it can work both ways.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
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#25
I would prefer someone who is a deaf mute, born without a tongue.

Any form of anger or conflict from her would have to be communicated through hand gesticulations.
:eek:
Addy, some of us are slow or no to anger...women that choose to talk through problems and agree to disagree when unable to compromise...not deaf, not mute, eyes wide open and NO frying pans Lynx... :)
We do exist...but we're hard to find...
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#26
I've experienced that many times, a person doesn't care for the truth, especially if the truth falls outside some myopic zone of what that person thinks, feels, or believes. In many cases, the things I refuse to talk about are those things where if I tell the truth, nobody would believe it, and even if I could produce documentation, they'd think I was weird for being outside the norm. Easier for me to just stay mum about some things.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
54
#27
I've experienced that many times, a person doesn't care for the truth, especially if the truth falls outside some myopic zone of what that person thinks, feels, or believes. In many cases, the things I refuse to talk about are those things where if I tell the truth, nobody would believe it, and even if I could produce documentation, they'd think I was weird for being outside the norm. Easier for me to just stay mum about some things.
That's why it's important to be with someone who would be loving and supportive. If your mate loves you, they love your goodness, find patience and help work through the bad, and look past what you think isn't normal...if it's truly NOT normal. No one's perfect...nope...not one.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#28
I used to try to mold my life to fit into his life that didn't work and I tried it several times so at 59 I was done playing the molding game and became open really open and tried to chase Tourist away with my truth of everything I'd done bad in my life... Like I did this take that.... Surprisingly he stuck around and didn't run and kept finding out more of my truth.

What surprised me even more is because I was so open with him he then started to open up to me telling me his truth and we both decided we could live with each others truth no matter how messy it had been in the past.

We seem to really complement each other really.... I am pretty open and outgoing and he is more shy and reserved. He was raised Catholic and I was raised by non-church going parents that sent me with my Seventh-Day-Adventist Aunt to church with her family. So SDA is my background in church going. Tourist is a Republican and I am a Democrat.... As you are all scratching your heads right now wondering how in the world we work and live together.... It's because we make up for what the other one is lacking in.... Almost like making a perfect whole person/couple. We can see all sides of the story fake news and not as we have well rounded opinions.

We don't fight either. I can fuss a little but if you ask Tourist he would tell you it is always about his health as I worry about him as it took me so long to find him I want to keep him around a long time as I enjoy his company. Can't believe we are coming up on our third anniversary next month. Looking forward to many more years together figuring out my mysterious man. lol
 

Innerfire89

Senior Member
Aug 23, 2017
586
20
0
#29
I'm open when it's time to be and I like that in other people, dating or Platonic.

But I don't tell everyone about everything, I just tell them what they need to know to get where I come from or to answer their questions. It really depends on what kind of relationship is forming, whether it's personal or just aquaitences.