Brainwash vs. Cultural Expectations
- Thread starter Liamson
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Can you explain why? I'm a bit confused on that.
As far as culture goes, they are always after what's new. Just bought a new car? As soon as you drive it off the lot, it loses its value, but hey, look, we already have the 2015 model ready for you! That new fad diet? That's old news, try this new one, it's much better because of scientific reasons that may later be proven to not actually matter that much.
Try our "new and improved" formula with nonsense-made-up-words technology! That smart phone you just got, well here's the newer version and look, it's 0.2 cm bigger! Shock and awe!
I'm being a bit melodramatic (but only a bit, sadly) and I have, unfortunately, fallen for some of these before, but that is our culture in a caricature nutshell: Why be happy with what you have when there's something newer and better?
As far as culture goes, they are always after what's new. Just bought a new car? As soon as you drive it off the lot, it loses its value, but hey, look, we already have the 2015 model ready for you! That new fad diet? That's old news, try this new one, it's much better because of scientific reasons that may later be proven to not actually matter that much.
Try our "new and improved" formula with nonsense-made-up-words technology! That smart phone you just got, well here's the newer version and look, it's 0.2 cm bigger! Shock and awe!
I'm being a bit melodramatic (but only a bit, sadly) and I have, unfortunately, fallen for some of these before, but that is our culture in a caricature nutshell: Why be happy with what you have when there's something newer and better?
An early lesson a man ought to learn is not to let a woman dictate his choice of clothes, day-to-day spending habits, and general life path.
That's different from letting them make suggestions for clothing. My girlfriend and ex-girlfriends helped greatly in that regard.
To quote the band Oasis though: "Ya gotta be who ya be if ya comin' with me."
That's different from letting them make suggestions for clothing. My girlfriend and ex-girlfriends helped greatly in that regard.
To quote the band Oasis though: "Ya gotta be who ya be if ya comin' with me."
M
Something else I thought of, due to my current circumstances...
Receiving government assistance.
In the area I live in, and the people I'm surrounded by, being on food stamps or living in low income housing is looked down on. I was raised that way myself, a bit. My mom worked however many jobs it took to provide for her three kids, because in her mind, people on Welfare were being lazy. People who needed help just needed to help themselves, basically.
Sometimes, that's true.
But sometimes, as I am learning the hard way, life happens and you gotta forget about your pride and your prejudices (see what I did there? Huh? Huh? I know, totally lame) and accept the help you need to get on your feet again.
So I guess what I'm saying is, I was terrified to be in this position because I thought I would be looked down on- and, I know a few people around me ARE being pretty judgmental about it- but in reality, I'm realizing, it's NOT the end of the world.
It's just a stepping-stone.
And the people who don't think it's the right thing for me to be doing can go jump in a lake (though I'm willing to let them wait for warmer weather, I suppose).
I don't know if that really fits with what this thread is about. I can't brain through the stuffiness in my head.
Receiving government assistance.
In the area I live in, and the people I'm surrounded by, being on food stamps or living in low income housing is looked down on. I was raised that way myself, a bit. My mom worked however many jobs it took to provide for her three kids, because in her mind, people on Welfare were being lazy. People who needed help just needed to help themselves, basically.
Sometimes, that's true.
But sometimes, as I am learning the hard way, life happens and you gotta forget about your pride and your prejudices (see what I did there? Huh? Huh? I know, totally lame) and accept the help you need to get on your feet again.
So I guess what I'm saying is, I was terrified to be in this position because I thought I would be looked down on- and, I know a few people around me ARE being pretty judgmental about it- but in reality, I'm realizing, it's NOT the end of the world.
It's just a stepping-stone.
And the people who don't think it's the right thing for me to be doing can go jump in a lake (though I'm willing to let them wait for warmer weather, I suppose).
I don't know if that really fits with what this thread is about. I can't brain through the stuffiness in my head.
I'm glad you got the help to feed your family. I was on WIC for a time when my kids were little until my husband found a better job. I felt the same way you did for a while, oh I don't want to do this, but we needed it. If it weren't for those WIC checks I don't know how we would have made it through some weeks. Thank God. It was a stepping stone and I don't begrudge those that use it. I know there are those that take advantage but there are those who truly just need help and don't abuse it. I think there are more of those then the abusers.
For me, I had a doctor tell me I needed to be about 120 pounds. I'm almost 5'10". He lectured me about it, and I felt really guilty that I didn't fit what he told me I should be. So I stopped eating. Smart, I know. I figured that he knew what he was talking about, and my boyfriend at the time agreed with him.
Not eating and listening to two of the stupidest men on the planet really messed me up for a long time. Honestly, there's a place in my brain that wonders if they're right.
However, I stopped seeing Dr. Stupid because I switched insurance companies. The next doctor I saw called me on what I was doing, and I told her why. She cussed and stomped her foot! It was pretty funny. She told me that the bare minimum weight I should be is 160. Because I'm so tall I need the extra 40 pounds to not look like death. Who knew?
Not eating and listening to two of the stupidest men on the planet really messed me up for a long time. Honestly, there's a place in my brain that wonders if they're right.
However, I stopped seeing Dr. Stupid because I switched insurance companies. The next doctor I saw called me on what I was doing, and I told her why. She cussed and stomped her foot! It was pretty funny. She told me that the bare minimum weight I should be is 160. Because I'm so tall I need the extra 40 pounds to not look like death. Who knew?
G
Sorry, folks --- I have been having a really rough time of it, financially --- and, under a LOT of stress, etc. etc. etc.
At the time that I wrote post #41, I was feeling really "down" about it all...
Being frugal is the standard when it is required for survival --- it is much more meaningful when it is actually an option...
I think you may have misread my post?
~
Sorry Liamson. I did not mean to detract from your thread topic.
At the time that I wrote post #41, I was feeling really "down" about it all...
Being frugal is the standard when it is required for survival --- it is much more meaningful when it is actually an option...
I think you may have misread my post?
~
Sorry Liamson. I did not mean to detract from your thread topic.
I have always felt that I and the money I earn really belongs to the Lord, and He needs to be consulted about what I buy. It makes me awfully tight, though. Like when I travel, it seems to me a bed is a bed and I am mostly asleep so I don't know if the bed is in a cheap motel room or an elegant hotel, as long as it is comfortable, warm, and clean.
But I like to have the things I buy well made with good design. I want to know exactly what fiber is in my clothes, I want to know if my food is plain and of good quality and not mucked up with artificial things, and I even want the vases I get for flowers to be simple and good. Such as a vase made to look like an elephant, etc. would drive me up a wall.
But I like to have the things I buy well made with good design. I want to know exactly what fiber is in my clothes, I want to know if my food is plain and of good quality and not mucked up with artificial things, and I even want the vases I get for flowers to be simple and good. Such as a vase made to look like an elephant, etc. would drive me up a wall.
About 60 years ago our neighbor was left with two boys to raise by herself. She had a choice, to go to work and leave the boys alone or get help and be with them. She decided to get help and spent her time making the best life for those boys she could, and she worked hard at it. The boys grew up very worthwhile men that contributed to society. The money the government invested in her was repaid in full, she felt she couldn't do it without help.
J
Exactly, Oncefallen. When I read Aimee's post I thought...WOW! That's crazy!
I'm 5'6" and weigh 123 lbs, which is def on the thin side. My doc is on me all the time about being too thin. (Workaholics forget to eat) I know that Aimee is several inches taller than I am. She'd be sick at that weight!
So glad you changed doctors, Aimee! That dude was nuts!
I'm 5'6" and weigh 123 lbs, which is def on the thin side. My doc is on me all the time about being too thin. (Workaholics forget to eat) I know that Aimee is several inches taller than I am. She'd be sick at that weight!
So glad you changed doctors, Aimee! That dude was nuts!