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My list of guy friends is much smaller than my many girl friends. In my experience it's very rare that I can be friends with a guy, save for maybe one exception. I like to think of it as "friends at arms length". If they have a girlfriend or wife I feel 100% more comfortable around them and it's easier to be their friend, but still I don't allow myself to get too close... it's just always been that way for me!
I know of people that are friends with both sexes. So, I would say you can. I think it really just depends on the individual. Also, what is your definition of friend? To me it seems that sure you can be friendly acquaintances, but to be "close friends" I think there has to be some big issue for it to stay in the friend zone (E.g. friend of the family, twice your age, not attractive, etc.).
I don't like the term "the friend zone". It's used by Bitter Betty's who think they're entitled to whomever they want to have a relationship with. People are allowed to say they don't want to be in a relationship with someone and still be friends. Yes, some people abuse the friend thing, and yes, some people abuse other people in general, but no one is entitled to someone else simply because they have feelings for the other person.
C
It's just stupid to put someone in the friendzone. I did when I was 16 and naive, well lately I tried to too but now finally I learned that it doesn't work. If both clearly want noone or are married, no problem, but if one is lonely or looking for a partner or even tells you he likes you or I tell him, guys tried to friendzone me too, that's just stupid. I told one guy who was friends with a lot of divorced lonely women lol who put love songs on his Facebook: look stupid, you can try that but they'll go after you capito? So I can now and then talk to you but that's that. I'm not gonna talk to you every day.
I agree that being in the freindzone is stupid. I've spent plenty of time there myself. I don't blame the other person though. It was all my fault for being in love with them even though they made it pretty clear that they weren't interested. I couldn't help staying in one girl's friendzone because she was my best friend's sister so I was around her everyday whether I liked her or not.
That is what my husband experienced with the former female friend of his whom I mentioned several times on this site. I remember your commenting on some of my posts regarding her.
At that time his feeling was that she needed a friend, and he wanted to be her friend. He was not romantically interested in her. However, he accepted several of her invites to spend time alone with her at her place. In his mind the two of them were just friends. She felt differently. The outcome of this situation made me realize that if you are not romantically interested in your opposite sex friend, then do not spend too much time alone with them. Spend time alone with them in groups instead. The time he asked her to help him clean his apartment so he could pass inspection he should have asked other people he knew to help as well. I say this because she had already left her bra on his bathroom floor. He told her when she got to his place that he has a girlfriend, *me*. Her reply was "that is OK, whatever. I do not care." But then again she left her bra on his bathroom floor.
What I am having trouble with is this...
As Christians, we should show Christ like love to everyone, including our opposite sex friends. But how should we communicate with someone of the opposite sex who seems to want more according to their actions? I say this because there are Christians who do not want to upset anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. My husband was like this regarding his former female friend.
At that time his feeling was that she needed a friend, and he wanted to be her friend. He was not romantically interested in her. However, he accepted several of her invites to spend time alone with her at her place. In his mind the two of them were just friends. She felt differently. The outcome of this situation made me realize that if you are not romantically interested in your opposite sex friend, then do not spend too much time alone with them. Spend time alone with them in groups instead. The time he asked her to help him clean his apartment so he could pass inspection he should have asked other people he knew to help as well. I say this because she had already left her bra on his bathroom floor. He told her when she got to his place that he has a girlfriend, *me*. Her reply was "that is OK, whatever. I do not care." But then again she left her bra on his bathroom floor.
What I am having trouble with is this...
As Christians, we should show Christ like love to everyone, including our opposite sex friends. But how should we communicate with someone of the opposite sex who seems to want more according to their actions? I say this because there are Christians who do not want to upset anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. My husband was like this regarding his former female friend.
C
My mother had a guy at the office who flirted with everyone, also with her and he was married, she's also married. She was clear to him that she did not appreciate that and lol told him the gospel while staying friendly. She took him and his wife to church when his wife had cancer. She got healed and they both got saved.
