Christian matchmaking services

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stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
598
307
63
Hi Everyone,

I’m wondering if you know of any Christian matchmaking services that, in order to do their best to filter out the ineligible from the outset and determine if a person’s interest in the service is genuine, requires participants to provide:
  • A Statement of Faith (state when and how we were spiritually born again/converted to Christianity, including a paragraph that defines what we believe is a proper Christian lifestyle);
  • Proof of Identity (eg a Photo ID such as a current Drivers Licence, that displays our Date of Birth and PostCode for where we live);
  • A Police Check/Clearance Report acquired within the last 6 months;
  • A properly completed personality profile with a current photo plus other modest pictures, scripted using clean language, showing a well defined list of personality traits and interests, and a list of the desired characteristics of an ideal partner including any age group preferences;
  • If we’ve had a broken marital or de facto relationship, then we will be required to provide a statement declaring why we believe we are eligible for remarriage.
If you do, or have any thoughts on the matter, please let me know.

Shalom,

Tony
I have read different posts and not sure I really understand your model. The different suggestions you have made across the certain posts, leads me to believe you are going about this the most expensive way. Which you intend to pay for by having folks donate their time.

Which the computer sciences are some of the highest paying jobs so anyone who donates to help you would for sure have to share in your selfsame vision.

You don't seem keen on pastors and churches. Which sinks my idea for you. I was gonna suggest to save yourself all the expense you will acquire with the model you have put forth. Would be to go to the local single groups at the churches in your area and speak to whoever leads that ministry.

Sell them on the idea of partnering with them in the ministry of finding spouses for the body. Get a few churches to buy into your vision and you can avoid platforms like facebook where they could kick you off their platform. More or less you would be a add on to already existing church websites.

It would link the various singles at local churches in the area. Doing so would also solve your expense of doing checks to vet a individual. Anyone who signs up is also going to be aware that others from their church will be doing so. So should solve your problem of people lying on their profile about their status. Since people who know them personally also will be on the site.

I would take this kind of approach cause would only need a few churches and single ministries to buy into it. Will give you a chance to work out the problems that always come from the not knowing what you don't know. As you workout the unknows you will begin to prove your model and get some success stories. Then you get the bonus of volunteer recruiters as pastors and single leaders themselves would share what they are a part of to other pastors and singles leaders and your growth to make this bigger than just local would solve itself as what you are doing gets out to churches of the body world over through word of mouth. Then those churches would just add this ministry to their own websites.

I think something along these lines would fit the model you are seeking but again not sure I totally understand your model. This way would be slower but your growth would be organic and your cost minimal. However, if you are not to keen on other churches or pastors this would not work for what you are trying to do which is give the body a wider view of who around them may be seeking to find a spouse in the body of Christ.

Anyway whatever ya chose good luck to ya.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,734
9,660
113
Why do I get the feeling that any website or service attempting to determine whether a divorced person is truly eligible for remarriage or not is a lawsuit waiting to happen?
Hush! Don't ruin the show.

Ah... Right, yes, that's a GREAT idea Tony. :cool: (y)

Just let me get my popcorn and settle back in my recliner... Ah, there we go. Okay Tony, let 'er rip!
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
Why do I get the feeling that any website or service attempting to determine whether a divorced person is truly eligible for remarriage or not is a lawsuit waiting to happen?
.

From a Christian perspective, questioning a divorced person's eligibility for remarriage is not meant to put anyone down, but rather to protect any Christian service provider against inadvertently assisting a brother or sister into an adulterous relationship. Care must be taken to avoid this. Yes, Caveat Emptor applies, but we all know that people beset by loneliness can accept a condition they wouldn't normally do, to rid themselves of their lonely state. I would want to ensure that any Christian community service I am part of will guard against this happening.

As you picked up in a previous comment of mine, it is obvious that not everyone will be able to be helped by any kind of Christian match facilitating service.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
I have read different posts and not sure I really understand your model. The different suggestions you have made across the certain posts, leads me to believe you are going about this the most expensive way. Which you intend to pay for by having folks donate their time.

Which the computer sciences are some of the highest paying jobs so anyone who donates to help you would for sure have to share in your selfsame vision.

You don't seem keen on pastors and churches. Which sinks my idea for you. I was gonna suggest to save yourself all the expense you will acquire with the model you have put forth. Would be to go to the local single groups at the churches in your area and speak to whoever leads that ministry.

Sell them on the idea of partnering with them in the ministry of finding spouses for the body. Get a few churches to buy into your vision and you can avoid platforms like facebook where they could kick you off their platform. More or less you would be a add on to already existing church websites.

It would link the various singles at local churches in the area. Doing so would also solve your expense of doing checks to vet a individual. Anyone who signs up is also going to be aware that others from their church will be doing so. So should solve your problem of people lying on their profile about their status. Since people who know them personally also will be on the site.

I would take this kind of approach cause would only need a few churches and single ministries to buy into it. Will give you a chance to work out the problems that always come from the not knowing what you don't know. As you workout the unknows you will begin to prove your model and get some success stories. Then you get the bonus of volunteer recruiters as pastors and single leaders themselves would share what they are a part of to other pastors and singles leaders and your growth to make this bigger than just local would solve itself as what you are doing gets out to churches of the body world over through word of mouth. Then those churches would just add this ministry to their own websites.

I think something along these lines would fit the model you are seeking but again not sure I totally understand your model. This way would be slower but your growth would be organic and your cost minimal. However, if you are not to keen on other churches or pastors this would not work for what you are trying to do which is give the body a wider view of who around them may be seeking to find a spouse in the body of Christ.

Anyway whatever ya chose good luck to ya.
Thanks for sharing your opinion, and advice SL. I will consider what you have said.

I prefer a KIS model, that’s near enough to cost neutral as well. Facebook may well be an adequate platform to use, and the costs incurred by individuals could be limited to the eligibility check fees (police check/clearance, and perhaps the fee for a Christian mentoring service used to qualify a divorced person’s eligibility). In terms of human resource help, we would need moderators to oversee chat forums, plus organisers and helps to run social activities. These would be sourced from participating members.

Thanks again for your response.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I wouldnt use facebook
sorry its a scammy website right there.

If its just a meet up club for christian divorcees well theres Meet up website.

when you apply for jobs that involve childcare a police vetting form is always required. If you are doing ministry usually your pastors signature or approval is required anyway so, what would be the difference between that and telling your pastor.

if you want to make it a ministry, then pray and ask God about it. Has He given you a vision? What scripture has He actually given you about this?

scoial events and activities are ALREADY happening in many churches. If you want to chat, this is what CC can be used for.
also St Valentines anyone. He was the original matchmaker, even got a day dedicated it.

why not just hold a dance as that is how most couples meet but then someone decided that dancing in church was not allowed.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
Hi Tony how did you do with your search? Success?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I wonder how you would actually describe someone as eligible or ineligible for marriage

Do you just get them to listen to TLC's Scrubs
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
If they cant rap along they are ineligible.

You could pick any love song, and if they fail the karaoke and dancing test no marriage.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
If they cant rap along they are ineligible.

You could pick any love song, and if they fail the karaoke and dancing test no marriage.
Why are there so many guys that dance with two left feet tho?
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
Hi Tony how did you do with your search? Success?
No, no success TNP. I tried SALT and most of the other so-called Christian dating sites, and none of them fulfil their moral obligations to adequately protect their legitimate clients from being scammed, or approached by those who turn out to be less than morally sound and yet claim to be Christian. There is inadequate or incapable oversight and supervision, which might be because they can't afford to hire it???

This is not a new scenario for me personally, it's one I've encountered over the nearly 40 years I've been a Christian, and have been looking for a buddy for life (wife) all the while because I felt we could help prepare a younger generation for the warfare of marriage (😀), given our personal experiences and training by the university of hard knocks and the Holy Spirit's counsel.

It seems these so-called Christian sites are more concerned about financial gain over and above a proper quality of service. They'll be called to account one day by God for them doing that, and that will be a painful outcome for them to say the least. Count me out of that one-sided fight!

This whole situation can be remedied, but in my opinion it would take a major upheaval of Christianity and no doubt pain, to cause that to happen. However, maybe there's a less painful way to find a suitable Christian for a mate, but there will still be a cost to pay such as forgetting about pride and being prepared to take a calculated risk, to find a solution. This was my motivation for starting the thread. I'm still open to getting something going but it's not much use if there isn't a positive base to draw interest and help from.

It is understandable though, that people are guarded against giving out private information to a source they don't know, and to have their character scrutinised and integrity questioned. We can use government instrumentalities to do the work of proof of identity and somewhat of person's lawfulness. Getting proof of Christianity is another matter, and suitability for marriage is yet another matter too... and that of course begs the question, 'what then is Christianity, and how do you know whether someone is a true disciple or not'?. What a mess, it is so hard not to be disconsolate and angry about how the church has been undermined! But I'm still prepared to give anything a go, but with considered and careful thought and planning. I don't like planning for failures, as bombastic as that may sound. 🙂
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
Why are there so many guys that dance with two left feet tho?
Because if we didn't we'd be stabbing our toes on your lots feet, and your weaponry is usually more pointier than ours.... ouch 🤨
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
Ahh okay, at least you tried Tony. Which is better than waving pompoms on the side line. I like your optimism and your openness to try some things. People have met and coupled up here so ya never know what God has in store for you.
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
Ahh okay, at least you tried Tony. Which is better than waving pompoms on the side line. I like your optimism and your openness to try some things. People have met and coupled up here so ya never know what God has in store for you.
There seems to be many who have met on here lately. Here I was thinking Tourist and Jesus Lives were the only ones.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
There seems to be many who have met on here lately. Here I was thinking Tourist and Jesus Lives were the only ones.
Yes and I hope it can give hope to the singles who would rather be couples. I mean the other day just going through all the pages of chat and there were so many Christians who are single and looking for love, seems like an opportunity here to make a thread or forum where if you are single and available to date-put your country and how you want to be contacted (public or private message or the chat app) and then say what you are looking for..ie female in Toronto age 24 looking for man aged between 25-35 in North America, happy to be pmd. Or is that too much? So it wouldnt be a thread to chat or for others to critique, it would be for serious daters only.
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
899
320
63
Bahrain
Well never used w Christian dating app as such
met my first wife at church , we dated and got married . Sadly turns out her briefs weren’t same as mine despite attending sane church

Met 2nd wife online dating . Not a Christian one just a worldly one . Had a great time for a while bu still unequally yoked

So 2 failures . That will limit any girl being untested now lol
I better not mention all the other dating / relationships I had . All afternoon starting th journey , never days before inviting Jesus into my heart and did that at age 18I do prefer th Christianchat app as can get to hear others . Not suggesting any forum members at fake . But typing is too easy to pretend to be soneone else ( a man perhaps using a lady profile)
But anything online can be Faked just like in real life . As i put above , my firs wife faked hr whom belief system !!!
So anyone still reading , and if a female gender , and untested in getting to know the risk me ? Well here I am !
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
Well never used w Christian dating app as such
met my first wife at church , we dated and got married . Sadly turns out her briefs weren’t same as mine despite attending sane church

Met 2nd wife online dating . Not a Christian one just a worldly one . Had a great time for a while bu still unequally yoked

So 2 failures . That will limit any girl being untested now lol
I better not mention all the other dating / relationships I had . All afternoon starting th journey , never days before inviting Jesus into my heart and did that at age 18I do prefer th Christianchat app as can get to hear others . Not suggesting any forum members at fake . But typing is too easy to pretend to be soneone else ( a man perhaps using a lady profile)
But anything online can be Faked just like in real life . As i put above , my firs wife faked hr whom belief system !!!
So anyone still reading , and if a female gender , and untested in getting to know the risk me ? Well here I am !
Oh beliefs lol do you have autocorrect on your phone? I had to turn mine off. You dont want to hear me my voice is low covid ruined my throat.