Crippled, Cannot Work,Cannot Marry, living miserably with sexual desire

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,529
8,423
113
#61
Rats. Show has been canceled. He was already banned.

Oh well. Props to the mods for responding. My loss (in entertainment) is the forum's gain (in keeping the place clean.)
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,297
113
#62
Woooo buddy, this oughta be a good show!

*Lynx settles back to watch the fracas.
Yeo you're about a day late..PaulNew ended up getting himself banned (not surprisingly)🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️..
So no fracas I'm afraid 😊😂
Just treat yourself to some vanilla ice crea..🍦🍦🍨🍧😂
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,529
8,423
113
#63
Well, homemade boiled custard here... but yeah, I do that treating myself stuff by default. :cool:
 
Aug 28, 2020
79
24
8
#64
Okay, so based on everything I've read, and assuming everything you is truthful (which I'm trusting it is), let's see how this can help:

1. Pray. Remember, we're on God's time and His schedule. Every good thing you want to happen will not happen right away. Patience is needed for an answer (and a miracle) from Him.

2. Be pro-active. I don't know what kind of disability you have, but you're still alive, which means God has something planned for you. Become more active, and this will help ease your mind, like doing the things you enjoy (unless if it's drugs or serious alcohol consumption, or whatever).

3. If it's not a physical disability, like not being able to walk, start exercising and burn fat and build muscle. If it is, you can still find a way to become more fit. Just do something that's not related to that disability. And if you are on something to help keep you alive, the physical work will help ease it. Now, if it is a mental disability, start meeting more people outside of where you live. If online is the only place, it's, at least, a better start than your current circumstance. Talking to a pastor or a Bible teacher will help as well.

4. When it comes to women, a couple of things you could do;
-lose some weight (if need be)
-buy trendier/better looking clothes
-find a fun hobby you wanted to do but couldn't get (you may enjoy it, too)
-have confidence in yourself (it's sounds hard, but that's what prayer is for)
-buy good hygiene products (sounds weird, but, trust me, this can help)

To me, it almost sounds like it's more problems getting a lady rather than these other issues because those can be handled. I know this too well. Shoot me a private message when you get a chance and let me know if this is accurate because I can probably help point ya in the right direction, based on my experiences. And, no, I won't be like the other people on here that can come off as a little inconsiderate and condescending. I'm still waiting to see if one guy is even going to respond to me on another thread because I'm beginning to question if he really gave his life to Christ or if he's a troll, acting like he's better everyone else. He's one of the guys that commented on here and he may read this, recognize my username, then may make a derogatory comment either on this thread or the other. Anyway, shoot me that message.
 
Apr 18, 2020
72
21
8
#65
I have tried elsewhere to seek help. I am asking the users in this forum to trust what I'm saying. I explained my situation, but people only offer me solutons which are not possible. I am asking, and i DONT mean to be offended, that you accept all of these premises as true. I once wanted a female companion. That is long passed. There is no chance of it. I'm in my 30s now.



I need help and I don't need help from people telling me to do things which I cannot do. Please I ask you to accept these immutable premises:

  1. I cannot get married.
  2. I cannot work.
  3. Society is so corrupt its impossible to marry and even if it were it would be an unacceptable risk (metoo), as the likelihood of it destroying my life is high.
  4. I am desperate for a woman's touch. I'm miserable, having no outlet, and pornography is sin.
  5. The above premises are not changeable.
If you are unwilling to accept these premises, then you can't help me. I promise I am telling the truth.
Please your self
 
Apr 18, 2020
72
21
8
#66
Okay, so based on everything I've read, and assuming everything you is truthful (which I'm trusting it is), let's see how this can help:

1. Pray. Remember, we're on God's time and His schedule. Every good thing you want to happen will not happen right away. Patience is needed for an answer (and a miracle) from Him.

2. Be pro-active. I don't know what kind of disability you have, but you're still alive, which means God has something planned for you. Become more active, and this will help ease your mind, like doing the things you enjoy (unless if it's drugs or serious alcohol consumption, or whatever).

3. If it's not a physical disability, like not being able to walk, start exercising and burn fat and build muscle. If it is, you can still find a way to become more fit. Just do something that's not related to that disability. And if you are on something to help keep you alive, the physical work will help ease it. Now, if it is a mental disability, start meeting more people outside of where you live. If online is the only place, it's, at least, a better start than your current circumstance. Talking to a pastor or a Bible teacher will help as well.

4. When it comes to women, a couple of things you could do;
-lose some weight (if need be)
-buy trendier/better looking clothes
-find a fun hobby you wanted to do but couldn't get (you may enjoy it, too)
-have confidence in yourself (it's sounds hard, but that's what prayer is for)
-buy good hygiene products (sounds weird, but, trust me, this can help)

To me, it almost sounds like it's more problems getting a lady rather than these other issues because those can be handled. I know this too well. Shoot me a private message when you get a chance and let me know if this is accurate because I can probably help point ya in the right direction, based on my experiences. And, no, I won't be like the other people on here that can come off as a little inconsiderate and condescending. I'm still waiting to see if one guy is even going to respond to me on another thread because I'm beginning to question if he really gave his life to Christ or if he's a troll, acting like he's better everyone else. He's one of the guys that commented on here and he may read this, recognize my username, then may make a derogatory comment either on this thread or the other. Anyway, shoot me that message.
Lol
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,179
113
#67
um if ok I dont want to label anybody, but seems an awful lot of incels wanting solace on this forum.

I recently learned what an 'incel' is. Someone who is involuntary celibate.

i.e people that got jilted, or cheated on, or been in a horrible accident meaning they lost their livelihood or ability to function, or maybe their partner got sick or died.

I am sorry about this. I sometimes dont know what to say to these people who are going through this tough time. I think God has something better for you, better even than sex. If you can comprehend that. I know some people think that sex is the best thing since sliced bread, but...I dont think its the be all and end all.
The desire for it probably kills a lot of people. If you want something you cant have, what would you do if you had it every day, would you be happy. I dont think you would be happy. It can be a very toxic space to be in, to constantly think I have to hump somebody right now.

I think people who are free of this desire live better lives. Jesus faced this temptation in the wilderness where Satan offered him all the kingdoms of this world (and presumably all the women falling at his feet) but he said no.

You have to say no, I have something better. You may not know it but God has already given you something precious.
 
Jul 20, 2021
348
73
28
#68
You want to have kids...right. because thats what sexual desire is you just want kids.
But you cant.

so what you do is donate sperm to a bank...and then someone else can buy it and have your kids with their frozen eggs.

I think thats how it works. I could be wrong though.
Really?????
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,530
16,408
113
69
Tennessee
#69
Rats. Show has been canceled. He was already banned.

Oh well. Props to the mods for responding. My loss (in entertainment) is the forum's gain (in keeping the place clean.)
Apparently, it got old fast with Paul New. Looks like Red_Kad bit the dust too.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#70
From time to time I end up approving threads out of morbid curiosity as to the twist that it may take (even though I'm nearly positive where it will end up).

IMHO no one can help you since:

A) You haven't actually stated what you want help with

B) It seems that by your premises you are unwilling to concede that your outlook on life (which only you can change) is warped and unbecoming of someone who claims the name of Christ through who ALL things are possible.
Agreed. He seems to have created a no-win scenario.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#71
I knew I shouldn't have bothered. I'm really tired to explaining my complicated life story. I see a bunch of highly disrespectful responses. Please administrators delete this thread and delete my account. I will never bother anyone here again. For those who want to help, thank you. Be well.
In any public forum, you're going to get a wide variety of responses. Some you will not like. You ought not to come to a site like this and not expect such things.

But... if your situation is as you say, then you ought to pray for the gift of celibacy. OR... pray for healing miracle.

The situation you've described puts you between a rock and a hard place, and I think only a supernatural intervention is going to get you out of it. Pray for such.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#72
I don't have answers or solutions. I have some experience of your situation during parts of my life. I can only listen and try to understand life in your shoes. Happy to listen and learn about your world.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,597
1,309
113
#73
Perhaps my comment on castration seemed like a harsh jest. The Bible has multiple instances with eunuchs as commonplace. It’s an effective way to eliminate sexual urges. If you really have given up all hope then why is it ridiculous. As someone who thought marriage would be the answer to sexual fulfillment I assure you I was wrong.

There is also meditation and praying in the spirit. That’s what works for me.
Wow imagine doing that and then realising later in life you had made a mistake...😱
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,529
8,423
113
#74
Wheeee, this was a fun thread!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,529
8,423
113
#76
It WAS a fun thread. Let's let it rust in peace.
 

Anthony55

Active member
Mar 8, 2021
182
90
28
Montpelier
#77
I have tried elsewhere to seek help. I am asking the users in this forum to trust what I'm saying. I explained my situation, but people only offer me solutons which are not possible. I am asking, and i DONT mean to be offended, that you accept all of these premises as true. I once wanted a female companion. That is long passed. There is no chance of it. I'm in my 30s now.



I need help and I don't need help from people telling me to do things which I cannot do. Please I ask you to accept these immutable premises:

  1. I cannot get married.
  2. I cannot work.
  3. Society is so corrupt its impossible to marry and even if it were it would be an unacceptable risk (metoo), as the likelihood of it destroying my life is high.
  4. I am desperate for a woman's touch. I'm miserable, having no outlet, and pornography is sin.
  5. The above premises are not changeable.
If you are unwilling to accept these premises, then you can't help me. I promise I am telling the truth.

It sounds like your all in with no cards to play. Jesus said, " overcome even as I also have overcame." James 4:1, 2, 3, 4. From whence come and fighting among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: Ye kill, and desire to have, and can not obtain: Ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not, Ye ask, and receive not,, because you ask amiss, that ye may consume on your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, KNOW YE NOT THAT THAT THE FRIENSHIP WITH THE WORLD IS ENMITY WITH GOD? WHOSOEVER THEREFORE WILL BE A FRIEND OF THE WORLD IS THE ENEMY OF GOD.
I understand how lonely it can be. Understand we worship the living God. You dont have to be lonely because you have Jesus with you always. I haven't been with anyone going on 12 years now. If it is God's will then maybe someday.
Listen carefully. "In life we are thrown into the furnace of inequity. Some come out burnt and bitter and some come out refined as gold. you need to PRAY when you are in need of help PRAY IT AWAY.

Gods Blessings
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#78
It sounds like your all in with no cards to play. Jesus said, " overcome even as I also have overcame." James 4:1, 2, 3, 4. From whence come and fighting among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: Ye kill, and desire to have, and can not obtain: Ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not, Ye ask, and receive not,, because you ask amiss, that ye may consume on your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, KNOW YE NOT THAT THAT THE FRIENSHIP WITH THE WORLD IS ENMITY WITH GOD? WHOSOEVER THEREFORE WILL BE A FRIEND OF THE WORLD IS THE ENEMY OF GOD.
I understand how lonely it can be. Understand we worship the living God. You dont have to be lonely because you have Jesus with you always. I haven't been with anyone going on 12 years now. If it is God's will then maybe someday.
Listen carefully. "In life we are thrown into the furnace of inequity. Some come out burnt and bitter and some come out refined as gold. you need to PRAY when you are in need of help PRAY IT AWAY.

Gods Blessings
The OP hasn’t been here since June. Maybe he will return and see your post, maybe not. A couple times I posted on threads with some seemingly inspiring words…4 years late. Now I usually double check the dates of OP and activity of member. You gave good advice nonetheless.
 

Anthony55

Active member
Mar 8, 2021
182
90
28
Montpelier
#79
The OP hasn’t been here since June. Maybe he will return and see your post, maybe not. A couple times I posted on threads with some seemingly inspiring words…4 years late. Now I usually double check the dates of OP and activity of member. You gave good advice nonetheless.
Thank you. I didn't realize. I will be more aware of the dates. To bad he didn't stick around for help.
‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.
Gods Blessings
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,597
1,309
113
#80
Thank you. I didn't realize. I will be more aware of the dates. To bad he didn't stick around for help.
‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.
Gods Blessings
Let’s hope he returns for some encouragement or better still with a great testimony like Kayla’s 😊